Award Update

04/21/2007, 12:07 am -- by | No Comments

Wow. In less than 24 hours, we went from 1 vote to 22 and a tie for 42nd place! We’re on the move! If you still haven’t voted, you can get there from here.

And Two Choice Kids moves onto the next round in the Battle of the Bands.

Greg Oden Declares Eligibility for Basketball Seniors Tour

04/20/2007, 2:30 pm -- by | No Comments

Greg OdenWeeks of speculation were laid to rest today as Greg Oden announced he would forgo the remainder of his scholastic eligibility, making him available for the upcoming Basketball Seniors Tour draft. Of the athletes who qualify for the Tour draft, which begins at age 55, Oden is seen as the clear-cut number one pick.

“You don’t normally see guys coming into our league who still have that kind of athleticism,” raved one scout.

“And we’re pretty sure his broken wrist last year was not the result of osteoporosis.”

Although the decision was widely anticipated, until today, no one knew for sure if Oden’s professed love for college would outweigh the prestige and riches waiting if he declared.

“I really enjoyed the chance to go back to school,” Oden commented to the throngs gathered at today’s press conference. “They’re right when they say it’s never too late. And I hate to leave so soon. I feel like I still had a lot to learn about the history of rock and roll. But my stock is high right now. I mean, you can’t go any higher than number one, can you?

“Seriously, can you? I didn’t really make it to math class this year.”

Oden declined to comment on whether his decision was affected by his grandson’s impending enrollment at OSU next fall.

The 7-foot sexagenarian closed by summing up in a concise message what took agonizing months to decide:

“My time is now. I’m not getting any younger.”

Clash of the Titans XV: Starbucks

04/20/2007, 11:00 am -- by | 3 Comments

In this corner, attacking Starbucks, is Steve!

 And in this corner, defending Starbucks, is Chloe!

If only they were included in those annual surveys of whom Americans trust, drug dealers might manage to bump car salesmen and lawyers out of the basement of public esteem. Typified in the collective mind as a shady, unshaven man with sunken eyes slinking around a playground at dusk in a bulky trenchcoat, the drug dealer is universally reviled as a corrupter of youth and an exploiter of human weakness.

But while we readily identify the local dope seller as an odious blight on society, we happily make peace with his ideological cousins at Starbucks, who peddle a product no less addictive or mind-altering.

Caffeine is the world’s most popular psychoactive drug, and its honored place in our society should not cause us to overlook its very real effects on the mind. A Johns Hopkins study found that as little as “one small cup of coffee daily” can produce caffeine addiction, a malady that may be included in the latest edition of the diagnostic manual for psychologists as a full-fledged mental disorder. When I read the list of caffeine withdrawal symptoms, it helped me understand why many Starbucks defenders are so rabid. Nausea, fatigue, and pounding headaches might be enough to keep me coming back for my daily fix as well.

But even if you accept the popularity of this mind-altering drug as a necessary evil in our sleep-deprived, results- obsessed society, there are plenty of reasons not to seek your dose from the ubiquitous mermaid:

– Starbucks charges far too much. It’s bad enough that a regular coffee is nearly two dollars, but those specialty drinks really get you. A mid-sized latte or frappuccino (words I freely admit I do not understand) costs more than a gallon of milk; large versions of these drinks approach five dollars. Drink two a week for 20 years and you’ve slurped down a cool $10k — before interest.

– Starbucks coffee apparently isn’t that good. I don’t drink coffee, but people who do, from the well-respected Consumer Reports magazine, ranked Starbucks coffee below McDonald’s in a blind taste test. I’m lovin’ that.

– And Starbucks stores just feel insincere. The whole shtick seems so calculated, a slick attempt to bottle a hip atmosphere and re-create it on a national scale, through generous doses of shallow philosophy, mood lighting, and second-rate classical guitar. It certainly seems successful, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy or manipulative.

I won’t claim any unfair business practices or exploitation, and I sincerely don’t mind that they’ve spread like kudzu across the country, or put other coffee shops out of business. That’s the American way; competition is the heart of capitalism, and they’ve succeeded admirably. They deserve some credit.

But I do hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t throw myself behind a behemoth corporation that fakes ambiance and overcharges its customers for an addictive psychoactive drug. As a future lawyer, I’d like someone to look down on in those surveys.

I was furious when I heard that Starbucks was opening not one but four stores in my hometown. I knew what would happen: The Shed, Café Rush, Java Junkie and all my other favorite hangouts would be obliterated. To me, as to many others, Starbucks was to coffee shops as Wal-Mart was to grocery stores. Namely, it was the end of them. When Wal-Mart came to town, only one other grocery store survived. I didn’t want that to happen to my coffee shops.

Starbucks didn’t kill any of my hangouts, though. They’re going strong, their eclectic, homey styles still beating out the corporation, mainly because of the music scene and the fact that everyone knows all the people in the pictures decorating the walls. The people in my hometown go to Starbucks, but that’s just when they’re in a hurry. They go to the little places for the people, because let’s face it — the coffee just isn’t that great.

I’m not saying this is the situation in all cities. I know about all those sad stories about the mom and pop cafes being booted out thanks to the monster mermaid. Yes, Starbucks has the cheesy “third place” thing going on, even though the atmosphere isn’t that great, and pales in comparison to the coffee shop your best friend decided to open rather than going to college.

But Starbucks Coffee isn’t all about the coffee it sells or the atmosphere it projects (but the coffee is good and the atmosphere not half bad). It’s about the prices, the sky-rocketing $1.55-cup-of-joe. Yes, the exorbitant charge is important, and in a good way.

There’s a reason Starbucks is so pricey. It’s called fair trade. Fair trade is a certification on coffee and other crops that ensures fair price and labor conditions, direct trade, democratic and transparent organizations, community development, and environmental sustainability. Starbucks buys about 10% of the world’s fair trade coffee, more than any other single coffee buyer in the United States.

What usually happens with trading in developing countries is that the trader will provide loans for the farmer to sustain the crops. The loans come with conditions that ensure the trader’s complete control over the crop, the prices, and the farmer. The trader will often buy the crop at cost or just above, so the farmer doesn’t make enough money to survive, let alone plant next year’s crop, which means he has to go back to the trader for more loans.

But Starbucks buys coffee high above the cost where most other coffee buyers do, which naturally pushes their prices up to what looks like an unreasonable fee to us. In 2003, Arabica coffee was selling at $0.55-$0.70 a pound. Starbucks paid $1.20 per pound, twice the amount that Folgers or Maxwell House paid.

Yes, Starbucks is expensive. But if we could just stop demanding low prices at the expense of the lives of coffee farmers all over the world, maybe we’d realize a $1.55 coffee is so completely worth it.

{democracy:24}

Introducing David — Porous Borders

04/20/2007, 9:00 am -- by | 7 Comments

Please read the biographies of MC-B, David, and the rest of our Bweinh!tributors here!

My annoyance, which has been growing for several years, has finally reached the stage of outrage. I live in this country, I pay my taxes, and I expect in return to be “protected against all foes, foreign and domestic.” This is, I think, a reasonable expectation. But the deplorable and porous state of our borders has finally been brought home to me resulting in what I can only term, again, as utter outrage!

I recently read that a colony of Brahminy Blind Snakes has been discovered in Georgia, and in fact, they have been there for at least two winters.

What? Blind snakes? Forget the obvious question of how the heck they even found their way here — WHY COULDN’T WE STOP THEM?

As an astute student of the history of our invasive species, I have known for years about the Brazilian fire ants that first arrived in cargo holds during the 1930s. I have seen for myself the spread of armadillos, which first escaped from a traveling circus in Florida in 1936. I have watched in terror as Africanized “killer bees” have slowly worked their way north from the jungles of Central America, I have noted with alarm the Japanese invasion of kudzu and wisteria vines that strangle native trees, consuming barns and farmhouses, and I have followed the inroads of the Asian carp, described as “super-sized cousins of the common carp . . . threatening to forever change life in the Great Lakes region.” I have read with horror the chronicled deeds of the fighting eels that are decimating populations of bass and crappy in the southeast. Even the cogon and zebra mussel invasions I have borne with grace and fortitude.

But blind snakes? For the love of all that’s good! Have we become such a weak and decadent society that a snake the size of an earthworm — WITHOUT WORKING EYES — can easily penetrate our vaunted Homeland Security? Something has to be done. I’m no hero, just a copier salesman, but I am willing — if the support is there — to seek the GOP nomination for President, with noted biologist Thomas Maxon as my running mate, and a strong anti-invasive species plank in my platform.

That is, if my platform hasn’t already been consumed by Formosan termites…

Quote of the Day, 4/20/07

04/20/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.” – A. Lincoln, in a book review

Award Nomination

04/20/2007, 2:00 am -- by | 2 Comments

Okay, this is a meaningless award that we have no real chance to win, but if you’re feeling particularly charitable, you may wish to click on the “Blogger’s Choice Awards” button over on the sidebar, register (painlessly) at the site, and cast a vote for Bweinh.com as “Best Religion Blog.” Or you can click this link to our page on their site.

I’ll have you know we did not nominate ourselves!

UPDATE: Wow! We’re up to 11 votes (from 2 when I posted this) and a tie for 73rd place!

Introducing MC-B

04/19/2007, 3:46 pm -- by | 3 Comments

Hello, everyone. I don’t have the benefit of knowing all of the Bweinh.com contributors in the real world, and I also have yet to meet many of our readers. For these reasons, I’ve decided my first contribution will be something of an intellectual history and biography, and I’ll save the angry rants for next time.

Before we set out, though, I would like to point out that there is at least an 83.7% chance that this history will contain only one use of the phrase “raisin poop,” and that’s already happened. Apologies all around, and now we may begin.

I’m fairly sure that among the first political books I read was Al Franken’s Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot, updated with new material for the era. Politics was so simple to understand as a youth; rich fat men took everything that the poor, Dickensian, coal-smudged lower class had to buy yachts, and every trace of political hatred was concealed beneath a thin, crunchy coating of humorous insults and semi-witty barbs. This conceptualization of politics was further ingrained in me through my household, but lest I write something disrespectful of my parents, I’ll end this line of thought now. Suffice to say that I once got into an argument with my mother about whether the 1970s-80s backlash against progressivism was the fault of hippies, and she responded by asking me if the Holocaust was the fault of the Jews. Godwin’s Law in action, though not online.

Still, I grew up a young progressive, bravely fighting the conservative machine that dominated upstate New York. I remember Mr. Haley (my semi-legendary high school history teacher) placing a non-monetary bet with a rookie teacher that the next student who approached them would identify him/herself as a Republican. I was the next person to the front of the room, so Mr. Haley lost the bet and I won a hearty “Welcome to the good side.”

But then I got to college.

My chosen freshman seminar was “Peace, Power and Sustainability.” From the title, I expected at least some of the course to be about peace or power, which reveals something about my naiveté regarding the priorities of private liberal arts institutions. The course consisted primarily of synthesizing peace studies with environmental concerns. On the plus side, I met some very interesting people, but my eyes got a lot of exercise that semester from extensive rolling, as I realized that many who leaned the same way as I did politically were also the most overbearing and annoying people I’d ever met. Around the same time, I started taking economics courses, and found out the rich were rich because they were good at what they did. Since then I’ve argued with many anti-globalizationists who still want to keep their iPods.

So now you know why I haven’t committed myself toward one party or the other — I can’t accept enough of what either tells me. Also, my faith probably has a great deal to do with my political beliefs and I suspect that, in this respect, I will be in good company on Bweinh!

Hopefully future articles will be easier to understand because of this exercise, and also a bit less dull. If not, give me a mulligan and we’ll start over fresh next time.

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Fruit

04/19/2007, 12:30 pm -- by | No Comments

Another Ask Bweinh! poll, presented to you by Arby’s.

Different is good — specifically, different from Arby’s!

As you can see, this is food week! So here are our favorite types of fruit…

Rank Fruit Points
1. Strawberry 22
2. Grape 16
3-5 (tie) Orange, Blueberry, Peach 9
6. Cantaloupe 6
7. Grapefruit 5
8-10 (tie) Raspberry, Acai, Apple 4
Other Banana, Plum, Cherry, Tomato, Pineapple, Coconut, Kiwi, Honeydew Melon 1-3

Thirty Two

04/19/2007, 8:31 am -- by | No Comments

Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, described as “an intelligent, funny, easy-going guy.”
Christopher James “Jamie” Bishop, 35, who taught German and helped oversee an exchange program.
Brian Bluhm, 25, who wished to be remembered by his faith and work with the Baptist Collegiate Ministries.
Ryan Clark, 22. “He was just one of the greatest people you could possibly know.”
Austin Cloyd, 18, whose mission trips to Appalachia showed how caring and faithful she was, said her pastor.
Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor at Virginia Tech.
Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, who grew up in Lima, and dreamed of going to Virginia Tech his whole life.
Prof. Kevin Granata, 46, one of the top five biomechanics researchers in the country; family man and coach.
Mathew Gregory Gwaltney, 24, once named “best guy to take home to your parents.”
Caitlin Hammaren, 19. “Caitlin was a leader among our students.”
Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, a graduate student in civil engineering.
Rachael Elizabeth Hill, 18, a graduate of Grove Avenue Christian School.
Emily Jane Hilscher, 19, known in her county as an animal lover.
Jarrett Lane, 22, who liked Christian alternative music, The Simpsons and SportsCenter.
Matt La Porte, a sophomore who aspired to an Air Force commission.
Henry J. Lee, the ninth of 10 siblings whose family fled to the United States from Vietnam.
Prof. Liviu Librescu, 76. Holocaust survivor who saved his students.
Prof. G.V. Loganathan, 51, Indian-born civil and environmental engineering professor.
Partahi Lumbantoruan, 34, whose family sold off property and cars to pay his tuition.
Lauren McCain, 20, an avowed Christian and an avid reader who had almost mastered Latin.
Daniel O’Neil, 22, a graduate student who played guitar and wrote his own songs.
Juan Ortiz, 26. “An extraordinary son, what any father would have wanted.”
Minal Panchal, 26, a bright, polite girl who would help the neighborhood children with their schoolwork.
Erin Peterson, 18. Athletic and inseparable from her father, except she was a Redskin fan, he a Cowboy.
Michael Pohle, 23, “a good kid who did everything that good kids do.”
Julia Pryde, 23, known for being an exceptional student with a sweet demeanor.
Mary Karen Read, 19, an interdisciplinary studies major who summered in Rochester.
Reema Samaha, 18, a member of the school’s Contemporary Dance Ensemble.
Waleed Mohammed Shaalan, 32, the father of a 1-year-old son.
Leslie Sherman, a sophomore who loved reading.
Maxine Turner, a senior preparing for graduation who took German as an elective.
Nicole White, 20, a international studies major and lifeguard.

The Shame of NBC

04/19/2007, 8:30 am -- by | No Comments

As much as I like any news organization (an admittedly low bar), I have liked NBC News. I like what they’ve done with their Dateline program lately, Catching Predators and Catching Identity Thieves and Catching Scam Artists, and basically just setting Chris Hansen loose to right Earth’s moral wrongs. I like justice; that’s why I occasionally watch ‘Cheaters’ and even sample ‘Jerry Springer.’ And they apparently liked justice too; I mean, they went to all the trouble to hire a group to rig GM trucks with model rocket engines, to ensure they blew up intensely enough so people would recognize the problem. That’s commitment.

But today, I am utterly sickened and disgusted by the exploitative and pornographic coverage, by NBC in particular, of the materials mailed out by the cowardly and insane Virginia Tech murderer, whom I will not name.

Heading to MSNBC for an update on the massacre? You’re in luck! You can check out the “full story,” “video coverage,” or — if those aren’t sufficient — something apparently altogether different called “full coverage.” Crave more info on the homicidal madman? Click on the “disturbing images” to see pictures from the killer’s “multimedia montage,” which, by the way, have you heard, he sent to NBC News in the middle of his killing spree? Oh, there’s another note about that! Right at the top, directly beside the horrifying shot of a psychotic, antisocial mass murderer brandishing the guns he used to kill his classmates. “Gunman sent message to NBC.” Ah yes. To NBC. How proud they are.

Of course it’s not just NBC at fault. As I write this, you can’t visit a major news site without facing that hideous specter brandishing a weapon at you. Fox and CNN have taken the unconscionable step of topping their sites with the killer pointing a gun directly at the viewer; perhaps they wish to spare families the horror of imagining the last thing their loved ones ever saw by simply re-creating it.

How are these pictures newsworthy? What is accomplished by an orgiastic frenzy of publicity for a man who embodied evil? Perhaps most importantly, what message does it send to others like him, straddling the edge of insanity and violence, craving the pulpit of posthumous fame? Doesn’t this encourage copycats, in a world where so many already seek notoriety for its own sake?

I want to know something, NBC, and Fox, and CBS, and CNN, and ABC.

Why the EXPLETIVE, three days after this antisocial piece of crap took two guns and ended 32 people’s lives, should I have to look at his smarmy, cocky, evil face every time I visit your site, rather than the faces of the innocent people whose lives he stole?

Why, if you must continue to talk about this tragedy, do you lead with his pathetic tale of loneliness and woe, his terrible plays and his freakish behavior, rather than telling me about the lives he ruined?

It took me a while to even find those names and stories. All the sites have them, but not at the top of the page. The top’s apparently reserved for the freakin’ lunatic.

So that’s why above this post, you found the names and ages of the victims.

They’re far more important.

Joke of the Day, 4/19/07

04/19/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

Two cannibals were sitting by the fire. One said, “Gee, I hate my mother-in-law.”

And the other says, “So try the potatoes.”

Ten moments in the Bible…

04/18/2007, 11:10 pm -- by | No Comments

…I would most like to have seen with my own two eyes!

Samson
1. Samson slays 1000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass What would MacGyver have been without Murdoch, and what would the Israelites have been without the Philistines? Probably the Bible’s greatest spectacle, after the flood, this scene is positively Jackie Chan-esque. That new jawbone must’ve been a nub when Sam stopped playing it again.

2. Elijah and the prophets of Baal — Akin to the U.S. beating Russia in hockey, this would have been a heart-swelling, momentous, rollicking good time. Babel‘Cause hey, that’s our God.

3. The Tower of Babel — What a sight (I’m sure) and what fun chaos. I can’t help but imagine that the tower was much shorter (and more squat) than some artists have rendered, but still, for the age, I’m sure it was an achievement.

4. Sarah — All right…let’s see what the hubbub was all about.

Red Sea5. The parting of the Red Sea — Probably one of the Good Book’s most vivid accounts, complete with comments about the dry ground. I’ve always wondered why the Egyptians pursued them through such an obvious supernatural occurrence. At least one dude must have said, “Whoa, guys…hold up. This ain’t gonna end well.”

6. The possessed swine run into the sea — The noise, the dust, the splash(es).Pentecost I’m easily amused and gore does not please me, but this one would be hard to pass up. It’s just so mentally hard to envision.

7. Pentecost — I’m a fanboy. This is one of the climaxes to the entire Biblical saga.

Jericho8. The walls of Jericho fall down — Undeniably a mind-tickle. I read a book once on the science behind this, both its sonic reality and the archaeological evidence. The evidence suggests the walls fell INTO the city, making the subsequent attack that much more easy.

Hornets 9. God sends hornets to drive out the Canaanites (Joshua 24:12) — This story has fascinated me since the very rumblings of my imagination. I’ve plagiarized it a lot over the years and I would give anything to see it. The worldwide fear of stinging creatures and the creativity God used in their employ makes this an event that absolutely had to “bee” on the list.

10. 2 Samuel 23:10 — “…but Eleazar stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword.” Carnage doesn’t motivate me, but such relentless heroism would be a hard tableau to pass up.

Battle of the Bands VII

04/18/2007, 2:00 pm -- by | No Comments

Here are our latest band names! Vote with impunity until Saturday!

{democracy:26}

Bible Discussion: Genesis 27-29

04/18/2007, 11:30 am -- by | 14 Comments

This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next three chapters of the Bible, Genesis 27-29.

Previous discussions from Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26

This week’s visiting pastor was unable to participate due to inclement weather, but he’ll be with us next week.

 
INTRODUCTION:
Job:
Some of our Scripture’s greatest heroes are capable of such villainy. From David’s nauseating sin concerning Uriah to Asa’s shocking refusal to remove the high places, we see a pattern of humanity in people we would like to be more than human. In this vein, this passage brings us the story of Jacob actively and premeditatedly deceiving Isaac, letting him steal Esau’s blessing. While Jacob would go on to father the Lord’s people, we see in him the humanity that made him incapable of saving them.

Steve:
Anyone who wasn’t paying close attention in Sunday School will probably be surprised this week, as we watch yet another hero of the flannelgraph lie and cheat his way to success. The constant spotlight on the personal flaws and errors of the patriarchs is a reassuring aspect of the Genesis account. Imagine if the George Washington/cherry tree story ended with him lying to blame it on his brother and gleefully laughing while he was whipped with a switch. Less inspiring? Certainly. But more accurate? Almost definitely.

 
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
When Laban agreed to give Rachel to Jacob for seven years’ work, he probably did so assuming that in seven years’ time, he would have found a husband for Leah. And even though he demanded seven more years’ work to get the originally agreed-upon woman, he didn’t make Jacob wait the seven years, but gave her upfront.

Of course, it was still a dirty, dirty trick.

Chloe:
Isaac asks for “tasty food” in the NIV. That’s a great phrase.

Steve:
For not loving Leah (whose name, my Bible helpfully informs me, may have meant ‘Wild Cow’), Jacob sure didn’t have any problem getting her pregnant. Repeatedly.

Job:
In back to back chapters both brothers “lifted up” their “voice and wept.” Esau, out of severe sadness when realizing his blessing had been stolen, and Jacob when he met and, uh, stole a kiss from Rachel.

Tom:
I’d noticed it, but never really thought about it, but Esau was as hairy as a goat! A goat!

Continued here!

Quote of the Day, 4/18/07

04/18/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“The art of not reading is highly important. This consists in not taking a book into one’s hand merely because it is interesting the great public at the time.” – A. Schopenhauer

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