Satan Convinces Man To Eat ‘Do Not Eat’ Packet

April 23, 2007, 11:11 pm; posted by
Filed under Articles, Humor, Job  | No Comments

PacketIn an effort to prove “he’s still got it,” noted prince of darkness Satan successfully tricked Milwaukee resident Gordon Ortiz into eating the packet of silica gel, clearly marked “Do Not Eat,” included in his bag of teriyaki-flavored beef jerky this week.

“But it says ‘Do Not Eat’ right on it,” Ortiz timidly responded to Satan’s repeated efforts to get the street sweeper to consume the inedible desiccant. “The company that produced this product has said I can eat any delcious morsel within this convenient resealable bag, except for those within this packet explicitly marked ‘Do Not Eat.’ I’d better not!”

“Don’t you see?” Satan responded, cajolingly. “That’s because if you eat it, you’ll never be hungry again! You will be equal with the jerky executives, who can eat all the jerky they want!”

“Wow, never hungry again?,” Ortiz thought to himself. “That’d be really great, what with gas prices and all — but what if it makes me sterile?”

“We can blame it on your wife,” Satan assured him.


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