Evildoers Beware

May 11, 2007, 5:09 pm; posted by
Filed under Articles, Josh J  | 4 Comments

I’m planning to go see the new Spiderman movie tomorrow, and it reminds me that I’ve always wanted a superpower. Flying would probably be my first choice. I used to dream about flying all the time when I was younger, although in my dreams it was a lot more like swimming underwater, very slow going and difficult to take off. Recently I discovered I actually have a superpower of sorts. It’s not all that impressive as superpowers go, but here it is. Steve Nash

I can instantly tell who the most famous or popular white professional basketball player is at any given time.

It’s true. All I have to do is step onto certain courts and wait to see what the players there call me. When I was very young, it was always Larry Bird, obviously. As I got older, John Stockton was the recurring theme, with flashes of Christian Laettner, Keith Van Horn, and even Arvydas Sabonis. Right now, the answer is easily Steve Nash. Elgin Baylor

Of course, every now and again my power experiences a slight glitch. Some guys will call me “old school” or “fundamental,” which are basically nice ways to say, “You don’t jump very high,” and “I’m much quicker than you.” Times like these I start hearing names like Jerry West. I even heard Elgin Baylor the other day. Maybe there’s some subtle nuance of my game that reminded him of Elgin, but I’m guessing this was just a slight technical difficulty with my power.

Anyway, if anyone can figure out a way I can fight crime with this particular power, or at least get my own comic book, please let me know.


Comments

4 Comments to “Evildoers Beware”

  1. Aarong on May 12th, 2007 10:44 am

    Larry Bird? I’ve played quite a bit with you and unless you’ve added the ability to shoot from the outside consistently, I wouldn’t say Bird. I always thought of you like a Charles Barkley. Undersized but with a remarkable ability to rebound and score in the paint. I’ve not played with anyone who could score like you under the hoop. But Stockton parallels are also appropriate because you are a very good ball-handler.

    It is a good thing that people draw comparisons to the greats with you. Mainly because it reassures me that people still remember the greats. I’ll take being called Jerry West over Dwayne Wade anyday.

    Oh, and I can see the Nash parallels as well. Question: How long is your hair right now?

  2. Josh J on May 13th, 2007 4:41 pm

    I keep the hair short these days, easier to manage. The point is that many of these comparisons come without having seen me play. I appreciate the Barkley comment. He’s definitely been a strong influence on my style.

  3. Dsweetgoober on May 15th, 2007 12:26 pm

    You know, I really liked this post. It was refreshing somehow. Light and humorous, a full bouquet, good legs and a very clean aftertaste.

  4. Steve on May 15th, 2007 12:34 pm

    Josh himself only meets one of those descriptions: “a full bouquet.”

    HA!

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