From the “Real Conversations I Have Had” Archive

May 22, 2007, 2:00 pm; posted by
Filed under Articles, Humor, Job  | No Comments

Goofy“Don’t misunderstand me, they’re both definitely dogs. It’s just that Pluto is more of a dog…”

“WHAT?? They’re both equally canine! How can you say that one is more dog than the other?”

“Well Goofy is just…less…of a dog. He’s kinda humanoid. He has human emotions. Drive and ambition. He’s not as, as, as dogish.”

“You kidding me?! You’re just being uppity. You’re saying that because Pluto is owned by a mouse, it makes him more of a dog…”

“See there? You just proved my point, son. He is owned. That makes him all dog. No one has to let Goofy out. No one has to roll up a newspaper and paddle him when he drags his rear along the carpet. Don’t roll your eyes at me! Goofy pees standing up! When you ask Goofy to speak he doesn’t bark twice and expect a biscuit; Goofy clears his throat and gives nothing short of a dissertation on any range of subjects!! He – is – less – of – a – dog!”

“NO!! A dingo is less of a dog than a cocker spaniel, granted. But it’s possible Goofy and Pluto are the same species! They could even have the same floppy-eared mother!!! Goofy has just climbed the social ladder with greater speed and efficiency than Pluto. Goofy has been a ‘good boy.’ What I think you fail to see here is that Goofy isn’t less than a dog…he has just also become more. He has evolved into something that is, at the same time, all dog and mostly man.”

“No, my friend. He may not be a planet anymore, but Pluto is all dog.”


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