I Hate Packing

May 9, 2007, 9:30 am; posted by
Filed under Articles, Chloe  | 1 Comment

I hate packing. Today I packed for a weekend in Syracuse and Watertown, three weeks in Houghton for Mayterm, a few months of summer in New Mexico and a few months more in London. It was exhausting.

Packing is harder than saying goodbye to people for me. I’m shoving my whole life into two suitcases and two plastic bins. Everything I own fits in there. Saying goodbye is more like “See you later,” because I’ll talk to them soon, and I’ve cried enough at goodbyes that ended well, anyway. But packing is just hard.

I pack a lot. I pack to go to school and come back. I pack to leave the country. I pack to visit friends or attend writing conferences or do internships. I pack for weekends and weeks and months, all in two suitcases that I’ve come to love and cherish. I know exactly how big a bottle of shampoo I should get for how long I’ll be in a place, and I can tell you if a suitcase is under 50 pounds, even by a few ounces, just by picking it up. I fly often, and I wish my uncle (who buys my plane tickets) would invest in frequent-flyer miles because it would make me feel less indebted to him.

For the past two years, I’ve never been anywhere for more than four months. I’ve been to at least ten different states, spending a week or more in each, and I’ve learned a lot from my travels. I’m a better, more whole person for it. But I feel like I’ve lost something in this new adventurous life I lead. I go home and my room is not my own. I go home and my family doesn’t really know who I am. I go home and slip up, calling Houghton my home instead. I go home and I want to leave.

So I’m going home in a month, but not really. I’m going for two or three weeks, then I’m going to stay with my grandma until I go to London. I’ll have been in Las Cruces for a total of one month by the time the year is out. I’m remembering what everyone told me when I went to college, that I’ll feel like I don’t belong anywhere anymore and I’ll think I’ve lost my place in my family. “Don’t forget,” they said, “you can never lose your place in your family.” And I believe that. But they never said I’d feel like Houghton was my home.


Comments

1 Comment to “I Hate Packing”

  1. Dsweetgoober on May 9th, 2007 12:44 pm

    “Do not oppress the stranger that is among you: for you know the heart of a stranger; for you yourself were strangers…” Exodus 23:9

    You must have quite a heart for the homeless.

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