Best of Bweinh! — Focus on the Fancy-Free

July 24, 2007, 10:00 am; posted by
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Originally published on May 1, 2007.

Q.   What should a young bachelor wear to church?

Focus on the Fancy-FreeA.   When I wore a younger man’s Chuck Taylor All-Stars, my mother always dressed me for church. Clip-on ties, penny loafers and “stick-um” (hair gel) were the ingredients in my preparation for Sunday worship. My father was the pastor of our church in Washington D.C., and as a good preacher’s son, it was impossible for me to wear my usual Ocean Pacific in the pews.

But now I’m 27, and while my mom wishes she could still dress me, I’m an adult and she can’t. I’ve morphed into what our society might call “offbeat” — I wear a lot of denim, often hold my long hair in place with a bandanna, and sport shirts with paint and other stains whose origin I have long since forgotten. I don’t roll into church looking homeless, but I certainly don’t look ready for court.

Basically on Sunday, I look like I do the other six days of the week. I know this offends some people, and the instinct in such situations is to remedy that offense as quickly as possible by taking the time to noose up a tie and tuck in a clean white shirt. But I love these people I offend, so I won’t gratify their sinful nature. That’s right. I’m calling all of you smirkers and sighers out.

It doesn’t matter a mite what I wear to church; deal.

Pressure to dress up for church is one of those elements of Christianity that has taken on Scriptural authority while actually running contrary to the Word; it’s more about humanity than Godliness. Peter wrote, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Immodesty is not just reserved for outfits that expose or enhance; I think carefully coiffed hair in concert with dry-cleaned dresses and suits trots the border with sinful ambition. The generic defense is that it shows respect to God, which offends my intelligence because you want to show man you have respect for God. That’s vanity.

“So, Job, you would dress up for a wedding but not for worship in the house of God?”

Eight days a week. Dressing up for those instances is part of a societal expectation, exactly the thing I don’t want in my worship. I want to be comfortable, modest and undistracted. If you’re concerned by what you’re wearing and/or distracted by what others are wearing, then — I’ll say it — your heart is not in the right place. I own ties, clean shirts and slacks (thanks Mom!) but in a society that expects this from me in social gatherings, it should be in church that I feel the least pressure to please men with color coordination and smart, flattering lines.

And, well . . . I rebuke thee.

These questions and answers are from the book Complete Young Adult Home Reference Guide and Recipe Compendium, published by Bweinh! Job Tate is founder and chairman of the board of Focus on the Fancy-Free, a nonprofit organization devoted to the encouragement and preservation of the unmarried twentysomething. His weekly radio program was heard on 1 radio station in the U.S. and Canada.


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