Clash of the Titans XXXVII: Deal or No Deal?

July 10, 2007, 12:00 pm; posted by
Filed under Debate, Humor, Josh J  | 3 Comments

In this corner, saying “No deal!”, is your heart!

And in this corner, yelling “Deal!”, is your brain!

What?? I don’t understand why the offer went down. I think the offer should be higher than that, but I don’t know.

Dad, what do you think?

You know, that is a lot of money, but it’s still too low. That’s not what I came here for. I came here to make my dreams come true and you know something, Howie? My dreams are bigger than that! Right?? That just isn’t going to make it! I’ve come too far! I’ve come too far!

The banker has to know I mean business. There’s still a case with a big amount out there. If I open just one more case… I’m thinking maybe one more case. Yeah. One more.

Mom, what’s your opinion? Yeah?

Oh, boy, that is a lot of money, Howie. Yeah, I know I don’t have a safety net. Oh boy… Honey? What should I do?

I just have a good feeling about my case. I’ve got a good feeling with this one. It’s lucky. It’s the number of my great-aunt’s wedding anniversary with her second husband.

I can do this! I can do this! It takes guts to win this game! Let’s do it! Who does the banker think he’s dealing with? I didn’t come here to go home with that amount! I came here for the big money! He can’t intimidate me! I’m not taking a lowball offer!

I came here with nothing, so I have nothing to lose. We’re going all the way, Howie!

No Deal!

Well, let’s think about this logically for just a minute. Sure, there’s a case worth $400,000 still available, but realistically, my best-case scenario is going home with half of that, since if I ever got it down to that case and one of the remaining low amounts, there’s no way I’d pass up a guaranteed $200,000 for a fifty-fifty shot at $400,000.

Furthermore, with five cases remaining, the odds are against me getting down to two without knocking the $400,000 out of play. Even if I dodge the $400,000 this time, the offer won’t increase that significantly with just one more case gone.

And with each case opened, I’m increasing that risk for a potential reward that is actually smaller than it appears, since again, I won’t go home with any more than $200,000.

Oh, and also, the highest amount among the other remaining four cases is $300 — so if I lose the $400,000, I’m basically going home with nothing. That seems to me like it would be a rather disappointing result to my game show experience, regardless of my financial status beforehand.

Certainly more disappointing than “settling” for tens of thousands instead of a million.

I’d love to go home with more, but that doesn’t change the facts. Models might lie, Howie, but numbers don’t.

Deal.

Whose side are you on?
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Comments

3 Comments to “Clash of the Titans XXXVII: Deal or No Deal?”

  1. MC-B on July 10th, 2007 2:35 pm

    These humorous clashes always remind me of The Onion’s “Point-Counterpoint” features.

  2. David King on July 10th, 2007 6:59 pm

    “Gee, Brain. Now that we have 200 grand, what are we going to do tonight?”
    “The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!”
    They’re Pinky, they’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.


    Narf!

  3. Steve on July 12th, 2007 11:07 am

    Funny how it’s unanimous here, but it always goes the other way on the show.

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