Clash of the Titans XL: Apples v. Oranges

August 7, 2007, 12:30 pm; posted by
Filed under Debate, Josh J  | 1 Comment

In this corner, fighting for apples, is Josh!

And in this corner, arguing for oranges, is Josh!

In the late 1700’s and early 1800’s, John Chapman became “Johnny Appleseed,” by traveling throughout the Midwest planting apple seeds ahead of most pioneers. This choice was neither coincidental nor capricious. There was no Johnny Orangeseed.

Why apples?

I’m sure you’ve heard that “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” While I don’t recommend apples as your only source of medical attention, their health and nutritional value is significant.

Apples are an excellent source of both fiber and flavonoids, lessening risk of heart disease, stroke, and asthma. And they have no fat, cholesterol, or sodium.

Apples are also extremely practical and versatile. They can be baked, fried, mashed, or turned into a variety of drinks, and they keep longer than almost any other fruit.

Even better, they taste delicious. With dozens of varieties ranging from sweet to tart, crisp to tender, there’s an apple for every taste and season. And it is undeniable that they make the best pies and blowpop flavor.

With its taste, durability, flexibility and health benefits, apple is king.

The first thing that strikes me about oranges would have to be the many varieties available: apricot; atomic tangerine; bittersweet; burnt orange; macaroni and cheese; neon carrot; outrageous orange; peach; red orange; sunglow; sunset orange; vivid tangerine; yellow orange!

Orange, you see, is possibly the boldest and most vibrant color. It can be used as an appetite stimulant or a mosquito repellent. Wearing orange shows confidence and individuality.

Because it is so easily identifiable it provides safety for hunters who wear it on their vests and caps, and for children by clearly marking their guns as toys. Its high visibility also increases safety on our roadways, marking cones and barrels, as well as the vests of crossing guards. Let’s see apples do any of that!

When paired with its complementary blue, it produces a combination that is both aesthetically supernal and athletically superior. Consider the uniforms of the Florida Gators, winners of the last two NCAA men’s basketball championships sandwiched around the last BCS Championship football game. And of course there’s the 2003 basketball champs, the tastefully named Syracuse Orange.

Taken as a whole, orange provides a look and image apple could never hope to match.



1 Comment to “Clash of the Titans XL: Apples v. Oranges”

  1. Tom on August 7th, 2007 3:24 pm

    You are a brilliant blinding light from heaven.

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