Youth Pastor Forced To Put Training Wheels On Mountain Bike

September 11, 2007, 1:45 pm; posted by
Filed under Articles, Humor, Job  | No Comments

Best of Job, April 2006.

Local youth worker Tony “The Tiger” Reynolds was ceremoniously forced to put training wheels on his mountain bike Friday, after Pastor Paul caught him delivering a message to the youth group from the apocryphal book of Tobias.

“Tony, you’ve got to stop doing stuff like this,” Pastor Paul scolded Reynolds. “Until you can prove to me that you know which books are divinely inspired and which are heretical, the Board and I have decided to make you ride your bike around with training wheels.”

“Surely this punishment is more than I can bear!,” Tony lamented.

“But surely you prefer it to working the fryer down at Tasty Burger,” Pastor Paul coldly responded.

This step is seen as the most severe by the Board in its dealings with the enthusiastic youth pastor, approached only by the time they forced Reynolds to cut his hair after he told several people in the congregation that “time travel” was the coolest spiritual gift.

“It’s complicated,” explained church elder Roy Mentack. “You can’t just spray him with a water bottle like a cat.”

“Hmm… A water bottle,” Mentack added quietly.

Meanwhile, Tony was attaching the training wheels to his Cannondale bike behind the Youth Lodge. “Yes, this is a great trial set before me, but I am ready to overcome. I now know what it must’ve been like for Judas Maccabeus, and how he felt when he had to fight the Hellenistic oppressors we read about in II Maccabees.”


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