Football Results (Week Seventeen) — FINAL
This year, the Bweinh!tributors competed each week by proxy on the mighty gridiron!
The seventeenth week’s results
Philadelphia def. Buffalo; Baltimore def. Pittsburgh;
Atlanta def. Seattle; Chicago def. New Orleans
Seventeen weeks of picks and it all came down to overtime, in a game long forgotten by the rest of the world. Going into the final period of the final regular-season game of the year, Steve (59-25) and Mike (54-20) were all tied up, and all that could separate them was their selection in the most meaningless of games: New York vs. Kansas City.
Steve had bravely gone with his favorite team, the New York Jets, while Mike had selected the Kansas City Chiefs. Combined, the teams were 6-22.
Overtime began and the Jets took the opening kickoff. Behind the inspired runs of Thomas Jones, the Jets moved the chains again and again, setting up Mike “Ted” Nugent for what would be the game-winning field goal, from 33 yards. Perhaps alone among the throngs of Jets fans hoping for a higher draft pick, Steve silently willed the ball to travel through the uprights . . .
And through the uprights it went!! Victory for Steve!!!
But then — a flag. Holding. On the Jets. Apparently one of the Jets’ linemen wanted a higher draft pick as well, and so Nugent lined up again, this time from 43.
Another timeout, and then the kick ——–
GOOD!
NY Jets def. Kansas City
And Steve captured first place!
| Bweinh!tributor | This Week | Overall | GB | |||
| Steve | 3-2 | 60-25 | — | |||
| Mike | 2-3 | 54-21 | 1 | |||
| Djere | 2-3 | 59-26 | 1 | |||
| Tom | 1-4 | 57-28 | 3 | |||
| Josh | 0-0 | 41-15 | 4.5 | |||
| MC-B | 1-4 | 54-31 | 6 | |||
| David | 3-2 | 50-35 | 10 | |||
| Connie | 1-4 | 50-35 | 10 | |||
| Erin | 0-5 | 30-25 | 15 |
By category
Avid fans: 171-70 (.710)
Slight fans: 109-61 (.641)
Uninterested: 226-164 (.579)
My Year in Review (Part Four)
Read Part One, Part Two, and Part Three!
October arrives, but the weather stays hot in Alabama. The Yankees have played their way into the postseason with a superb September and now face the Cleveland Indians in the ALDS. They get blown out in the first game but Andy Pettite pitches a gem in game 2 to keep them in contention. Yankee phenom Joba Chamberlain is brought in to wrap up the game and even up the series, but he suffers a meltdown when he is swarmed on the mound by specially trained flying ants called Canadian Soldiers, kept for just such circumstances by the Indians staff. The Yankees lose the game and go back to New York down 2 games.
Wanting to inspire his team for game 3, George Steinbrenner takes a page out of Oral Roberts’ motivational playbook, drafting a press release saying that if the Yankees don’t win the next game, “God will take me home!” 
After leaking this to the clubhouse as a trial balloon, the front office urges George to reconsider, as it seems to have the opposite effect. Instead, he tells the media that if the Yankees lose the next game, Joe Torre will not be brought back as manager next year. They win that game, but not the next, and end up losing the series. Goodbye Joe — sorry it had to be you.
In the NHL, the Flyers pick up the pieces of a disastrous season by adding many character players and gritty veterans, and start the year 6-1, living up to their new motto — “BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!” A taste of what’s to come is seen in the preseason when 2 players are suspended for 20 and 25 games after hard hits. The Syracuse football squad continues its miserable string of gridiron failures, excepting a miracle in Louisville, and the basketball team prepares for its next season by adding the 2nd-ranked recruiting class in the nation, as rated by Athlon Sports. True freshmen Donte Green, Johnny Flynn and “Scoop” Jardine hold the promise of bringing the Orange back to the NCAA Tournament.
On a personal note, I spend the month exchanging emails and photos of my Sir Walter Scott books with a trio of rare book stores in Atlanta, only to find that although they are indeed a rare collectible, their physical condition does not meet the prevailing standards for collectors, and my best bet would be to sell them on eBay for “a few hundred bucks.” I’m actually relieved because I purchased them because I liked them, not for profit, and now I am free to keep them.
November arrives and brings with it the sternest test yet for the fledgling Bweinh! On November 5th, the Writers Guild of America East (WGAE) and Writers Guild of America West (WGAW) agree to strike, and both Hollywood and all of America are plunged into turmoil. Every Bweinh!tributor is faced with the same gut-wrenching decision — stand by their comrades in solidarity, or cross the picket line and risk ruining their careers down the road.
Everyone plays it close to the vest and no one actually refuses to write, but suddenly emails are not returned, deadlines are missed, people have “finals,” “jobs,” and “personal issues,” and the Clash of The Titans and music review features grind to a halt, as Steve Maxon struggles to round up replacement writers like “Hoss” to fill in.
The biggest blow comes when star blogger Job Tate marches into the executive suite and announces his intention to honor the strike. Suddenly the only Job Tate articles on the site are old material labeled as “The Best of Job,” and a ridiculous cover story circulates that Job has run off and joined the military. 
When that story does not suffice, another story circulates that he is seriously ill and confined to a hospital, recovering from surgery. Readership flags, interest wanes, and a nation turns its lonely eyes to Vermont for an answer…
In my personal life my wife has been smitten by Koopa, my daughter’s husky puppy, and she wants one of her own. We find one in the Thrifty Nickel for $200 and she names her Miranda, a nod to the Firefly sci-fi movie Serenity. Our house is now the romping ground for two old dogs, a harried and anorexic cat, and two husky pups.
December finally arrives and brings with it the much-anticipated Mitchell Report on performance-enhancing drugs in baseball. Although much has been speculated, no one is prepared for the shocking revelations in the document, which reaches far beyond big-name superstars and encompasses even the previously unmentioned news media.
Former ESPN intern Lawrence Wallace reveals that Stuart Scott, Kenny Mayne, John Buccigross, and others have been using the performance-enhancing drugs Ambien, Ritalin and Baclofen for years, to create the false sense of hilarity needed to make their shows appear entertaining and relevant. Their incessant obsession with hip catch phrases has been produced by a drug-induced stupor more associated with crackheads than journalists, explaining their bizarre behavior over the past few years.
Bweinh! holds its first Christmas party in the South conference room, but the mood is less than jolly. Steve and Tom flew to Vermont in the company jet earlier in the day to plead with Job to return, and brought him back, but no one is quite sure what the outcome will be. Connie, Erin and Chloe all stand around distractedly discussing the tepid catered food, while Djere, Mike, Josh and Tom clear one end of the enormous conference table and set up ping-pong to pass the time. Everyone seems to be waiting for an announcement about Job so they can collect their Christmas bonus checks and head home for the holidays.
Eventually MC-B has a little too much to drink and begins entertaining the group with a Japanese version of Here Comes Santa Claus learned while he served overseas in Okinawa during his Navy days. It is performed using origami figures made from the festive Wal*Mart Christmas napkins adorning the table, and it manages to lighten the mood a little. 
The ice really breaks though when Djere and Tom perform their rendition of the Wumpus and Sean Connery singing Silver Bells, and soon everyone is mingling, shaking hands and wishing each other a very merry Christmas.
Eventually Steve gives a speech about love, joy, peace on earth, goodwill toward men, and other stuff like that, and hands out the checks, but Job is still silent about his future with Bweinh! As Steve urges everyone to bury the hatchet, I find myself standing next to the Pope, and am overcome with an urge to shake his hand and make up. I find myself unable to do it, though, due to circumstances beyond my control that have still not allowed Hell to freeze over. Instead I hug him while surreptitiously placing a piece of paper on his back that reads “Kick me — I am the abomination that causes desolation.”
Advent Devotional — Tuesday, December 25
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas Day
“This is the revelation of God’s love for us, that God sent his only Son into the world that we might have life through him.” (I John 4:9, in the Midday Reading in The Divine Hours)
Christmas Days come and go so fast. This year, I will be celebrating my 30th Christmas and I cannot tell you in detail about any single one of them. I only have snippets of memories here and there. I can remember being about 7 or 8 and arriving home from my grandparents’ house after midnight, sitting bleary-eyed before the lighted tree, trying to squeeze another few minutes of joy from the day. I can remember being 12 and starring in our church’s Christmas pageant, The Sixth-Grade Scrooge, and experiencing the rush of making an audience laugh for the first time. I can remember being 23 and visiting Jill’s parents, listening to her sister ring handbells at the local Methodist church.
Because Christmases are so fast and furious, it is vain to try to use them to communicate very much. We say that Christmas is about family. And about love. And about Jesus. And about giving. And about feasting. With all these Christmas ideals swirling about, it’s no wonder we don’t know any of them very deeply! We try to make the holiday do too much.
This year, I invite you into a deeper idea of what Christmas is. Because, first and foremost, Christmas is not about any of those things I have just mentioned. Most of all, Christmas is about God showing us how much He loves us. When we look into the manger, and we see the Baby lying there, we see God’s love more fully than we see it anywhere else. God gave us many good gifts before Jesus: water and food, summer and winter, the Law, the Prophets. And God has given us many good gifts since Jesus — our families, our homes, our churches, each other. Yet all those gifts point back to that one Greatest Gift, sending His Son to earth for our sake. His presence with us is the best evidence that God indeed loves us and longs to draw us to Him.
May you know that deep love of God this Christmas, and may the Baby of Bethlehem remind you always of how deeply God loves us.
Football Results (Week Sixteen)
This year, the Bweinh!tributors shall compete each week by proxy on the mighty gridiron!
The sixteenth week’s results
New England def. Miami; San Francisco def. Tampa Bay; NY Giants def. Buffalo
Jacksonville def Oakland; Philadelphia def. New Orleans
| Bweinh!tributor | This Week | Overall | GB | |||
| Steve | 4-1 | 57-23 | — | |||
| Djere | 3-2 | 57-23 | — | |||
| Mike | 3-2 | 52-18 | — | |||
| Tom | 3-2 | 56-24 | 1 | |||
| Josh | 0-0 | 41-15 | 4 | |||
| MC-B | 3-2 | 53-27 | 4 | |||
| Connie | 3-2 | 49-31 | 8 | |||
| David | 2-3 | 47-33 | 10 | |||
| Erin | 0-0 | 30-20 | 12 |
By category
Avid fans: 166-65 (.719)
Slight fans: 104-56 (.650)
Uninterested: 223-142 (.611)
Bible Discussion — Luke 1:39-2:40
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next section of Luke, Luke 1:39-2:40.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: Luke 1:1-38
INTRODUCTION:
David:
There is no surprise that Luke’s account of the nativity has become the standard for Christmas celebrations down through the ages. His writing is beautiful, and he himself was a gentile, a startled and awestruck outsider whose heart had not been hardened by religion.
Connie:
Mary leaves on her fact-finding mission, only to find everything is as Gabriel has said. Elizabeth is pregnant and the babies in womb seem to know each other. So cool!
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Steve:
I didn’t think I would find one, and then I read v.80 — John the Baptist was “in the deserts till the day of his manifestation to Israel.” I knew he hung out in the wilderness, eating locusts and honey, but I didn’t remember it was a long-term lifestyle, preparing him for the ministry to come.
Connie:
Mary was there three months, meaning she could have stayed through to help with the birth — even though it isn’t specifically mentioned. That could have prepared her for giving birth on her own later, as it turned out. I cannot imagine that she’d leave with the birth so imminent; maybe the written order isn’t as legalistic as it sounds.
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Chloe: Heavenly Host
Steve: In the Deserts
Connie: Quirinius
Christmas Week
Merry Christmas from all of us here at bweinh.com!
Today’s Bible discussion and football picks will be our only posts (except tomorrow’s Christmas devotion!) until Friday — enjoy the holiday season and we’ll see you in a few days!
Joke of the Day, 12/24/07
“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” — J. Leno
Advent Devotional — Monday, December 24
Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas Eve
“Come now and look upon the works of the Lord, what awesome things he has done on earth.
‘Be still, then, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth.’
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.” (Psalm 46:9, 11-12, from the Vespers Psalm in the Christmas Eve reading in The Divine Hours)
Psalm 46 is a hymn to God’s strength. “We will not fear,” reads v. 2, “though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” At times, this language about God’s strength turns violent: “He breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire,” reads v. 10.
We don’t often associate Christmas Eve with God’s strength. It is a cozy holiday; in the eyes of the world, it is a time to celebrate the universal beauty of mother and child. In the eyes of the church, it is a time to celebrate God’s humility, not divine strength.
Yet what if we were to recognize that Christmas Eve was in fact the greatest show of God’s strength the world has ever known? It was not earthquake, wind, and fire; it was not the raising up of one nation and the dashing of another; it was not the divine voice atop the mountain, frightening the people of Israel. Instead, it was the conscious laying aside of those things. In the coming of Jesus, God was strong enough not to rely on His “brute force,” His ability to cause the rise and fall of people and empires; instead, God was strong enough to come as a helpless Baby, convinced that what would conquer the world and steal away every human heart would not be thunder, but self-giving. Of all the works of the Lord, none was more awesome than this.
What if we learned to define strength in this way? We Christians sometimes believe the lies of the world, that the truly strong are those who can assert their will upon others. We tend to believe, like everyone else, that the strong are those who can punish with shock and awe, that the strong devastate the world. But what if we started to believe that the strong don’t always look strong? What if we believe that the true strength of God lay not in His ability to overwhelm us, but to give Himself completely away for us?
It is the weak who must constantly demonstrate to others how strong they are. It is the strong who are so sure of their strength that they don’t have to constantly put it on display. It is the strong who are comfortable giving themselves away, knowing that in God they will always have enough.
The divine strength of God, the strong arm of Israel, lays in a manger tonight and begs to be held and nursed and cuddled. Can we find it in our hearts to give ourselves away like our strong God?
Advent Devotional — Sunday, December 23
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Fourth Sunday in Advent
“Purify my conscience, Almighty God, by your daily visitation, that your Son Jesus Christ, at his coming, may find in me a mansion prepared for himself; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.” (The Prayer Appointed for the Week in The Divine Hours)
Do you ever wonder about the innkeeper who provided a stable where the baby Jesus could be born? I’m never sure if he’s one of the good guys because he provided some place for the baby Jesus when the inn was completely full, or one of the bad guys because he didn’t rustle up something a little better for this very pregnant little family. I suppose, as with most people, it’s a mixture of both. Perhaps he had kind intentions — he could have done more, but he could have done less too.
Whatever the case, the innkeeper provides a challenge for us today, because so many of us are like the innkeeper. We’re on the fence in our lives. We’re not ready to totally throw God out of our lives into the cold; but neither are we ready to fully embrace God, bringing Him into the inner sanctum, especially if that means disturbing some prestigious guests like pride and arrogance. And so we choose a compromise, a stable if you will: God is welcome, but only on the margins of our lives.
It is always tempting to offer Christ a stable. It means that we can view Him from a distance, from inside the inn, where it is warm and cozy, and not have to deal with the cold and hay and straw and animals of the manger. It means that we can enjoy the “Christmas story” without really having to make the reality of Christ’s birth a permanent, year-round part of our lives.
This prayer perfectly expresses the sentiment of Advent. As Christians, we should not want to find just a stable for Jesus, a place on the periphery of our lives where we can enjoy Jesus from a distance. Instead, we want to provide Christ with the mansion of our hearts. We do not want to keep Jesus on the outside, but fully invite Him in so that He can change us. And so we pray for purity; we pray that God, by His constant presence in our lives, will purify us so that Jesus will have a fitting home to come to. We pray that God will touch every corner of our hearts during this season and make them a place fitting for the King of Heaven to come and live.
Advent Devotional — Saturday, December 22
Saturday, December 22, 2007
“Praise the Lord from the earth, you sea-monsters and all deeps;
Fire and hail, snow and fog, tempestuous wind, doing his will;
Mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars;
Wild beasts and all cattle, creeping things and winged birds;
Kings of the earth and all peoples, princes and all rulers of the world;
Young men and maidens, old and young together;
Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his Name only is exalted, his splendor is over earth and heaven.
He has raised up strength for his people and praise for all his loyal servants, the children of Israel, a people who are near him. Hallelujah!” (Psalm 148:7-19, from the Midday Psalm in The Divine Hours)
When the Psalmist wrote these words, who knew that they would come to a culmination in a stable, on an ordinary summer night, in the village of Bethlehem?
Creation has always risen to praise its Creator. With the exception of humanity, gifted with the power of choice, creation cannot do otherwise. Birds flying north for the summer and south for the winter, rhythmic waves beating the shore, trees shading from tender pink to lush green to burnt orange to bare brown — all these things give the Creator praise, for they live their lives exactly as they were created. Of course, we can choose to live a life that does not give praise to God, which we do frequently and with disastrous effect. But there is nothing quite like a human being living the life God has created him or her to live; just as with the rest of creation, it gives silent testimony to the goodness of God’s design in our lives. Psalm 148 envisions just this scene: creation rising up to praise God, led by the capstone and culmination of creation, human beings created in His image.
It seemed an idea too cosmic to happen on earth; and yet here it is, happening. The Son of God lays in a manger bed and all around him is creation, bearing Him silent praise. The canticle O Magnum Mysterium says it well: “O great mystery and wonderful sacrament, that animals should see the Son of God, lying in their manger!”
In their lowing and braying, and in the gentle breeze, creation continued on, exactly as it was intended. But humans, too, gave Him praise: Joseph and His mother Mary, the shepherds, and soon the wise men came, and of their free will, gave honor to the newborn King. The vision of Psalm 148 finally was realized as all creation came into God’s presence in a new way to give Him praise. Let us join our voices with all creation.
My Year in Review (Part Three)
Read Part One and Part Two!
July finally arrives and while The Bronx is Burning on national television, Alabama is burning too. After a long drought, many counties have banned certain types of fireworks, disappointing because we are traveling four hours to spend the 4th with our grandchildren.
Although my grandson had a hushed phone conversation with me (“Grandpa! Bring lots of fireworks! A big bag! You know the stuff!”), I check the list and find their county was on the ‘banned list.’ I am a little dispirited, but upon arriving, I find all the fireworks stores open, and only bottle rockets and a few other things on the “banned” list. I have always suspected that some type of work-release agreement exists between Alabama’s mental health facilities and the fireworks industry, since all the fireworks stands bear names like “Crazy Ken’s” or “Wild Bill’s,” and advertise “insane prices.” Five minutes into my visit to this particular store confirms that suspicion beyond all doubt.
While sitting around the living room, waiting for it to get dark enough for fireworks, I tell my daughter about the great books I found in June, and she asks me how much I think the Sir Walter Scott set is worth. “Who knows?,” I said. “Probably at least $600.”
I type in the publishing date (1903), size (48 volumes), and a few other criteria. We are all a bit amazed when the only match is selling for $6500. Not bad for a $60 investment. I am still staring at the screen in disbelief when I hear my daughter Teresa yell, “Dibs! I get those when Dad dies!” We are a practical family and, as the oldest, Teresa has always been good at outmaneuvering the other two.
The fireworks go off with just one small hitch (involving the neighbors’ porch and our daughters carport), and we return the next day with our grandkids. We decide to spend one entire evening inflicting as much damage as possible on a Cruella DeVille action figure using the leftover fireworks. We are dog lovers, and after what she tried to do to the puppies in 101 Dalmatians, she will be shown no mercy. After repeatedly assaulting her with Roman candles, sparklers, M-80s, flaming spinning things, exploding smoke bombs, and firecrackers, all we can find in the morning is a charred lump of melted plastic and two small yellow feet.
If only Michael Vick had been here.
The only other thing of note was a visit to Community Fellowship Church. The first hour was pretty good, but the next 90 minutes dragged a bit. It is a nondenominational church struggling to find itself, with the unfortunate combination of Pentecostal length and Baptist dryness (no offense, Mike). At least we eliminate one more possibility.
Ian and Rachel also get a full-blooded Siberian/Malamute husky from the Humane Society, and name him Koopa. King Koopa arrives and takes over the house…
In August, the incessant noise of swarming presidential candidates finally becomes unbearable, and I am forced to take notice. Democrats John Edwards and Dennis Kucinich actually announced last December, and in January, they were joined by Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden and Chris Dodd, as well as Republicans Duncan Hunter and Sam Brownback. All this a full two years before we will be swearing in — or swearing at — our next president.
In the months that follow, Rudy “the Red-Nosed” Giuliani, Mitt Romney, John McCain, Jim Gilmore, Tommy Thompson and Ron Paul throw their hats into the ring for the Republican nomination, while Mike Gravel, Barack Hussein Obama and Bill Richardson join the Democratic fray. Mike Huckabee comes aboard in August, and Fred Thompson, after looking good and ducking all the hard questions for several months, announces that he will be announcing something formally . . . maybe as soon as next month.
In sports news, Barry Bonds breaks the all-time home run record as the San Francisco Giants and all of baseball breathe a sigh of relief. Bud Selig reluctantly attends the ceremony, and Hank Aaron participates via pre-taped remarks played on the scoreboard, explaining he could not attend in person due to unforeseen circumstances that prevented hell from freezing over.
Our son Philip and his wife Katherine are coming to visit, so we purchase a new set of living room furniture to have a pull-out sofa to sleep on in the living room. We are tactfully informed that they are still newlyweds and will not sleep in the living room for a week. Either way, the furniture is here and has to be paid for in 90 days. We decide to borrow a queen-size bed to put in the library, and I begin reluctantly eyeing Sir Walter Scott as a potential source of income.
I also begin paying the devil his due at work. Earlier in the year my son-in-law, a die-hard Alabama fan, asked if I could get him into the Auburn-Alabama game, one of the most storied rivalries in college football. My company supplies copiers for the press box for all Auburn home games, so whoever works the game, clearing jams and such, gets a free press pass and parking tag. These are VIP accommodations, and although technically extra passes are given to our company, since tickets to this game go for $500, these are not made available to me. I make a deal with my boss, though, agreeing to work all eight home games free — in return for two press passes for the Iron Bowl. He usually pays $100 per game, so I save him $800, with which he can easily buy a replacement ticket. The season starts on Labor Day weekend…
September. All year long, a crisis with China has been growing. In May, the deaths and illnesses of thousands of pets were linked to Chinese pet food manufacturers; in July, it was discovered that personal care products from China, like toothpaste, vitamins and painkillers, were also tainted and subject to recall. Finally, in August, Mattel announced a massive recall of Chinese toys, after testing finds they were tainted with toxic levels of lead. This leads to two immediate backlashes in September, with China announcing a ban on all US meat products in retaliation, and the Federal Detention Center in Atlanta announcing a halt on incoming packages for inmates, due to a flood of Chinese products being mailed to Michael Vick.
Philip and Katherine come from New York, the Hodges and Hodglings come down from Huntsville, and we are all together as a family, for the first time since last Christmas at Phil’s wedding. In the midst of the revelry, though, I have to leave to go work the first football game, and it saddens me. I am struck with the irony of doing things for your family out of love, that actually end up keeping you from them at important times. It is an evening game, and I leave reluctantly but happy, knowing they are all together in one house, eating, laughing, playing with Koopa, and watching movies together.
I have to be at the game 2 hours early, I can’t leave until 2 hours after it ends, and I have to battle the remnants of 85,000 people when I do leave. I finally get back home about 1:30 AM, and I don’t think I can describe the joy I feel as I get out of the car to see light and laughter still spilling from the front windows of the house. Everyone has agreed to suspend bedtimes for the grandkids and stay up just for me. Gazing into the living room and seeing them all stretched out on the couch, chairs, hassocks and pillows, eating pizza, playing video games, and laughing, is one of the moments I will cherish until I die.
I grab some pizza and a game controller, and join the crowd playing Monkey Ball into the early morning hours.
Advent Devotional — Friday, December 21
Friday, December 21, 2007
“Now His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside, sent in a message asking for Him. A crowd was sitting round Him at the time the message was passed to Him, ‘Look, Your mother and brothers and sisters are outside asking for You.’ He replied, ‘Who are My mother and My brothers? Anyone who does the will of God, that person is My brother and sister and mother.’” (Mark 3:31-35, from the morning reading in The Divine Hours)
In our culture, Christmas has taken on a variety of meanings. One of the dearest meanings to many people is “family”: Christmas is a time to be with family, to re-connect with relatives that live distantly and to forgive old grudges that may be standing in the way of the family being all it could be. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this sentiment, and Jill and Grace and I are very happy to be spending the time before Christmas through Christmas Day with my family, and some time after Christmas with her family. People’s families are (or at least can be) wonderful gifts from God.
Yet we should not push the point too far. Jesus is teaching a crowd when He was alerted that his (biological) mother and brothers were outside. Jesus uses their visit as a teaching moment. He stresses that what truly creates bonds between people is not blood, but a shared willingness to do the will of God. While blood kinships can be great, true kinship is found between people who share a passion for seeing the Kingdom of God advanced.
Maybe this will shape the way you approach this Christmas. Perhaps circumstances force you to celebrate this Christmas apart from family. This Christmas could be a time for you to discover new relationships, thicker even than blood, in your church or your Bible study. The world looks at those separated from family at Christmas as pitiful; don’t fall victim to their sympathy! Instead, take a chance and deepen these essential, eternal relationships with other Christians.
On the other hand, you may be fortunate enough to celebrate Christmas with your family. In your case, my counsel is to remember your relationships with other Christians. Don’t fall victim to the cult of family. Love them, honor them, respect them, but don’t limit your celebration to time with them; instead, remember to support and honor your relationships with others in your churches and communities during this time of year.
Quote of the Day, 12/21/07
“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulders; and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the Mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.” — Isaiah
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Christmas Carols
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by Ludwig van Beethoven — the greatest musician in history.
He owned Mozart.
| Rank | Carol | Points | ||
| 1. | O Holy Night | 20 | ||
| 2. | Carol of the Bells | 15 | ||
| 3. | Silent Night | 13 | ||
| 4-5 (tie) | O Come, O Come Emmanuel; Angels We Have Heard on High | 10 | ||
| 6-7 (tie) | What Child Is This?; O Come All Ye Faithful | 9 | ||
| 8. | In the Bleak Midwinter | 7 | ||
| 9. | The First Noel | 6 | ||
| 10-13 (tie) | Joy to the World; God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen; O Little Town of Bethlehem; Hark, The Herald Angels Sing | 5 | ||
| Other | I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day; Mary, Did You Know?; The Angel Gabriel; Ding, Dong, Merrily On High; Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer | 2-4 |
Romans Playoffs: Quarterfinals
It’s time once again to add to the Pantheon of Biblical band names! Take a minute to vote in the quarterfinal round of the Romans playoffs!
Past winners? Kindred (Genesis) and Stripe for Stripe (Exodus).
Advent Devotional — Thursday, December 20
Thursday, December 20, 2007
“Enlighten, Lord, and set on fire
Our spirits with Your love,
That dead to earth they may aspire
And live to joys above.” (Adapted from The Short Breviary, from the Vespers Office in The Divine Hours)
Dying to earth is heavy language. The hymn (and the Scripture that inspired it) does not encourage us to co-exist with the world, or to critique the world; it says to die to it. What does it mean to die to the world?
We often forget that sin is not just a personal choice, but a deeply ingrained reality of human life. Suppose you live in a town where the only grocery store is operated by a man who is known to abuse his wife and family. Should you shop there and support this man or not? This man’s sinful behavior puts the rest of the town in a bind, where no action is really “right” — you hate to put money in the man’s pockets, but you hate to put his family at further risk by not supporting him. Further, you have the dilemma of how exactly you’re going to get your food if you don’t support him. One man’s sin means that the whole town has to reckon with his sin and choose the lesser of several evils.
If you look at the world in this way, you will soon sense something of the enormity of sin and the impossibility of “solving” it, humanly speaking. We cannot root sin out of the world simply because, like the grocer above, its present reality ensures its future reality. As long as one person is sinning, we all will be pushed into sinning. “As sin entered into the world through one man…” said Paul, and we can see how that is the case.
Part of what we must do as Christians is to die to this reality. To the extent possible, we should “opt out” of such a death-dealing culture. This is not to say we become total separatists, and live our lives in total denial of the earthly world in which we live. But it is to say that we are self-conscious about our way of life as being separate and incompatible with a sinful world.
We do this when we create and strengthen our churches to be little outposts of the Kingdom of God, little places where the Way of Christ is followed and there are different rules. We do not deny there is sin in our midst, but rather than blindly following a culture where sin is an established fact, we seek to be different. We seek to lay aside one way of living completely for another.
Joke of the Day, 12/20/07
A man went to the doctor with a lettuce leaf sticking out of his ear.
“Hmm,” said the doctor. “That’s strange.”
The man replied, “I know! And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!”
Bweinh!’s Week Before Christmas
With apologies to Clement Moore or Henry Livingston or whoever else might have written the original…
‘Twas the week before Christmas and over at Bweinh!
not a comment was postin’, not even an “ehhhh.”
The stockings were hung in the boardroom with care
in hopes that Steve Maxon would fill them up there.
The presses were quiet, all articles stilled,
Clash-debating suspended — the quotas were filled.
Council rulings abandoned, no polls to submit,
Chick Tracts on vacation, all cartoons even quit.
The football results, however, were new;
you can’t stop them now, since the games left are few!
But the Bible Discussion was set on “delay,”
in hopes our attention on Christ would then stay.
But down by the washrooms, Dave Sweet worked away.
Making copies of keys to pass out Christmas Day.
All sanctions forgotten, or now put on hold,
and these keys were not silver — oh no! — they were gold!
One for Chloe and Erin and Michael C-B,
even Job just back from his ap-pen-dec-to-my.
One for Connie, and Tom, and for crusty old Djere,
for Josh and Mike Jordan were Dave’s final pair.
Finally done, he called out for ol’ Steve to help lift
the huge box of gold keys (we would all just re-gift).
For what do we need with a key to that room?
It still costs a dollar to enter and groom!
We’ll pass them out quickly, for not all have yet learned,
what’s a gift and a dud — only we have been burned.
So as we pass out all our useless john-keys,
just remember the thought counts here, not just the deeds.
So to James, and to Ethan, for we like what you share,
so reward you we shall — the first re-gifted pair!
Then to Marcus, to Emily, and good old M. Chase,
’cause the comments you leave really spark up the place.
To share, we’ll give one to our Bweinh! newlyweds,
so dear Missy and Beaty — thanks for all your great threads.
To Rose, Brian, David, sometimes clueless old Hoss,
And to everyone else, signed A-non-y-mous.
We love that you visit and lend your support,
to our little production of newsworthy retort —
we’re really just saying, to one and to all,
“Thanks for coming! We love you! You make it a ball!”
Advent Devotional — Wednesday, December 19
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
“The voice of the Lord breaks the cedar trees; the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.” (Psalm 29:5, from the Midday Psalm in The Divine Hours)
My daughter Grace is now at the age (20 months) where she loves to hear stories of when she was a newborn. “Do you want Daddy to tell you a story?,” I say as we settle into the rocker before her afternoon nap. “Yeah,” she nods.
And so I do; I tell her the story of her first night in the world, where her grandparents and parents took turns holding her and eating pizza in the Birth Center. I tell her that her grandparents came to stay with us for a week after she was born, and all we did was watch her and eat chocolate. Now, she’s started to provide sound effects for the stories; and so when I say how relieved we were to hear her cry for the first time, she mimics the sharp staccato of a newborn cry: “Weh! Weh! Weh!”
It is this voice that we are accustomed to associating with the Lord at this time of year: the precious little yelps from a newborn to be nursed or held. And yet we dare never forget that the voice that cried like this is powerful beyond measure. This Psalm envisions tall cedars being broken, not by the strong arm or might of the Lord, but merely by His voice. What love the Father has for us, to choose to limit Himself to humanity for our salvation!
The Author of the universe, like my daughter, begged His earthly parents to tell him stories; the voice that broke the cedars has become a baby’s cry.
Quote of the Day, 12/19/07
“The Church does not superstitiously observe days, merely as days, but as memorials of important facts. Christmas might be kept as well upon one day of the year as another; but there should be a stated day for commemorating the birth of our Saviour, because there is danger that what may be done on any day, will be neglected.” — S. Johnson
Rules of the Road: Winter Edition
If you’re an honest, God-fearing American, you live someplace where winter means snow. Some place like New York, Missouri, or Canada. Here’s what you’ll need to know.
â”” Contrary to popular belief, snow is neither divine dandruff, nor the byproduct of an angelic pillow fight. Snow is actually a Venezuelan conspiracy to drive up oil prices.
â”” If on the road during a snowstorm, be patient. It’ll all melt eventually.
â”” Practice makes perfect! Practice handling your vehicle in snowy conditions in the nearest empty parking lot, or handling blizzard conditions at your nearest Dairy Queen. Better yet, kill two birds with one stone at your nearest empty Dairy Queen parking lot.
â”” Every other vehicle you’ll meet on the road will be piloted by morons. They’ll either try to drive 5 or 65. Don’t worry, you’ll pass their vehicles, immobile and abandoned in the snowbanks just a few miles up the road. Pointing and laughing comes at no extra cost.
â”” Always travel in a vehicle with all- or four-wheel drive unless a vehicle with six-wheel drive or tank treads is available.
â”” If you’re cursed with unsafe travel (read: motorcycle, car, minivan, or airplane), be sure to keep bags of sand in the trunk. It will help you gain traction, and, in a pinch, you can throw it in your enemies’ eyes and yell “NINJA VANISH!”
â”” If the unthinkable happens, and your vehicle goes off the road, above all else, REMAIN CALM! Think to yourself, ‘At least I’m not watching that godforsaken A Christmas Story . . . again.’
â”” If you want a snow day, turn your pajamas inside out and wear them backwards. It’s empirical data, verified by men in scientific-looking lab coats, that this will help. Light from the sun, in the form of photons, bounces off the moon and is transformed by… I don’t know. It’s science, and it works.
Advent Devotional — Tuesday, December 18
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
“Because you have kept my commandment to persevere, I will keep you safe in the time of trial which is coming for the whole world, to put the people of the world to the test. I am coming soon: hold firmly to what you already have, and let no one take your victor’s crown away from you. Anyone who proves victorious I will make into a pillar in the sanctuary of my God, and it will stay there for ever; I will inscribe on it the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem which is coming down from my God in heaven, and my own new name as well.” (Revelation 3:10-14, from the Morning Reading in The Divine Hours)
Sometimes, we think of Advent as just a precursor to Christmas. If we use Advent for spiritual preparation, we think of it as preparing the way for Jesus to come into our hearts in a new, spiritual way.
But Advent is more than that, because the Bible talks repeatedly about Christ’s return, a time when Christ will come back to the earth in a tangible, physical way. By paying deeper attention to matters of the spirit at this time of year, we also are preparing ourselves for that return of Christ, making room for Him in our hearts and minds.
The New Testament was written in a time when people expected that return to come imminently. Much of the New Testament, including this passage, is taken up with urging Christians to persevere until that day comes. Though we do not expect Christ’s return soon (but who can say?), the word of perseverance is a good one. Like the early Christians, we find ourselves in a society that is increasingly hostile to our beliefs. The ignorant vitriol of the new crop of atheist writers like Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins has swayed the hearts of many people against God.
There is also a more subtle sort of secularism at work in the suburbs, which treats Christianity with a velvet barbarism, so if our children will play sports or go to birthday parties, they must do so on Sunday mornings. In such a world, we as Christians should always be striving to represent Christ well. Our lives should be characterized by gentleness, honor, nobility, and discipline. In the midst of a culture that glorifies self-destruction in so many ways, Christians must persevere in living an abundant life, even when that life is peculiar or out of place in the world. Could our life seem anything but strange to people who have not known the joy of knowing God?
Ancient Christians sensed this tension between the Christian and pagan ways of life. The Desert Fathers withdrew to solitary living in order to preserve the Christian way. Eventually, monasteries developed with the same goal: to establish and preserve some community on earth that would live out the ideals of Christ.
Maybe a good call for us modern Christians is to reclaim a streak of those early monks and nuns. Even as we go about our daily lives, we must preserve a way of living and not capitulate to a death-dealing culture. In doing this, we prepare ourselves to receive Christ with joy rather than fear when He comes again.
Joke of the Day, 12/18/07
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” — P. Diller
My Year in Review (Part Two)
In April, the 2007 MLB season starts, finding Barry Bonds just 21 home runs shy of Hank Aaron’s all-time record — and less than a week from matching Al Capone’s record of 187 days thwarting a grand jury investigation by refusing to cooperate with federal agents.
In Philadelphia, following a series of minor of run-ins with local police, including charges of drunk driving, drug use, carjacking and abusing elderly residents of a nursing home, Britt and Garrett Reid, sons of NFL coach Andy Reid, were caught invading a small Central American nation, deposing the president, seizing control of the three major drug cartels, and murdering dozens of innocent citizens. In a hastily called press conference, Coach Reid asked for “privacy” while dealing with unspecified “family issues.” “This stuff happens in every family,” he told reporters. “We’ll get it fixed.”
In my personal life, somehow, against all odds, our accountant got us a $2100 tax refund. Even more amazing, my wife turned down taking a trip to Scotland for our 25th wedding anniversary, electing instead to invest the money in a 42″ Plasma HDTV for the living room. 
Not only that, but since the TV was technically for her, there was still enough money left over to buy me a new Martin guitar for my anniversary present. I confess, I need a new guitar like my dog needs a new pen and stationery, but I didn’t argue.
Steve extended an invitation to me to join Bweinh! and I began writing and commenting on articles. This quickly caused a controversy when I bumped into the Pope (a frequent guest contributor) in the break room, winding up in a fistfight after I called him the “Anti-Christ” and pointed out a website where Tom pointed out his suspicious resemblance to Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Eventually, after a review by my peers, I was placed on 90 days’ probation and instructed to keep away from the Pope and stop referring to him as “the abomination that causes desolation” during staff meetings.
May came and ESPN broke a shocking story about Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, where an unnamed informant fingered him as a major player in the Internet campaign to return Buffy The Vampire Slayer to the airwaves. This was later found to be erroneous, but he was eventually accused of running a dogfighting operation in which he identified himself online as puppyslayer1@aol.com His new coach Bobby Petrino amends his earlier statement of “I’m looking forward to spending time with Vick” to exclude any possible prison time that may be forthcoming. 
In our personal life we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary with our daughter and son-in-law who are celebrating their 1st. We dine at Olive Garden with this memorable exchange between the waitress and my son-in-law:
“Soup or salad with that?”
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
“What?”
“The Super Salad! That sounds good! I’ll have that.”
We spend the next day at Surfside Water Park floating along the lazy river on inner tubes for several hours; then we go home and grill steaks out on the front porch. It was by far the best wedding anniversary in recent memory.
June arrived and with it the high winds and balmy weather so perfect for setting the West Coast of our great nation ablaze. As California burned out of control Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger pledged to personally descend from a helicopter in true action hero fashion to battle the blaze if 100,000 people requested that option within one week’s time. His effort fails, however, when 70% of the ballots turn out to be write-in requests to dangle Michael Vick instead.
In entertainment, the Discovery Channel follows up its wildly popular show Dog Whisperer with a companion program called Cat Shouter. 
In this show, starring Sean Penn, feline discipline problems are solved by grabbing the offending creature, shaking it violently, and screaming at it until it runs away and hides. Problem solved. The show lasts only three weeks before complaints by PETA cause it to be replaced by Hamster Healer , where rodentia are treated for psychological issues using aromatherapy and deep muscle massage.
On a personal note, I find a complete 48-volume set of Sir Walter Scott’s Waverley Novels (Thistle Edition) in quarter-bound leather, published in 1903, for $60 at an estate sale. They are possibly the most beautiful set of books I have ever owned and I spend an entire day rearranging my library to accommodate them along with Plutarch’s Lives of Illustrious Men in thee volumes, a Latin edition of Julius Caesar’s account of the Gallic War (which I cannot yet read), and a book on Latin grammar to help me with Julius Caesar’s book.
The Council’s Ruling — American Food
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — What is the most quintessentially American food?
Mike delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Steve, Tom, MC-B, and Connie:
Hot dogs — fatty AND artificial!
Job dissents, joined by David and Djere:
Buffalo wings… Chicken isn’t new but the very flavor of Buffalo wings is so distinctly American, just the very thought can make my nose tingle.
Erin dissents, joined by Chloe:
Girl Scout cookies — you wait all year for them, buy enough to last the whole year, then eat them all in one sitting while watching American Idol.
Josh played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time: If we had to sell a state to pay off the national debt, which should it be?
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Christmas Characters
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is again sponsored by Air Transat — the worst airline in the world!
As one representative customer wrote: “Unless you have no funds to travel with a half-decent airline, don’t choose this company. . . if you have to fly with them, eat decently prior to embarkation as their food is terrible, and ensure you have sufficient materials to keep yourself amused as there is precious little in the way of inflight entertainment.”
Air Transat! The masochist’s choice!
The Christmas narrative presents several memorable characters — here are our favorites, other than baby Jesus!
| Rank | Character | Points | ||
| 1. | Joseph | 27 | ||
| 2. | The shepherds | 24 | ||
| 3. | Mary | 17 | ||
| 4. | The Magi | 14 | ||
| 5. | The innkeeper | 11 | ||
| 6. | Elizabeth | 8 | ||
| 7-8 (tie) | The heavenly host; Frank N. Scents | 5 | ||
| 9. | Joe the Sheep | 4 | ||
| 10-11 (tie) | Simeon; Elsie the Cow | 3 | ||
| Other | Zacharias; Ricky “White Shoes” Garibaldi (the innkeeper); Animals; Donkey; Harold Angel; Sheep; The Narrator; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Shepherd | 1-2 |
Advent Devotional — Monday, December 17
Monday, December 17, 2007
“Blessed is she who believed that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.” (Luke 1:45, from the Morning Reading in The Divine Hours)
With these words, Elizabeth commends Mary for her faith. When Mary is visited by the angel Gabriel and notified of God’s plan for her life, she does not rebel but says, “May it be with me according to your word.” She accepted God’s plan meekly because her faith was great: she believed without reservation that God would do with her child and herself what the angel promised.
As they always do for unwed mothers, Mary’s prospects seemed bleak. Her fiance considered leaving her. The townsfolk whispered. I’m sure her family wasn’t universally happy at this turn of events. And most of all, the questions of how she could ever support and adequately raise a child ate at young Mary.
And yet, despite all this, Mary clung to the promise God made to her through Gabriel: that God would raise up her child to be a mighty one, called the Son of the Most High; and that he would be the ruler in an eternal Kingdom. She stubbornly clung to this belief before this baby was born, and as he grew into a man. Even when he suffered the indignities and pain of crucifixion, there stood Mary at the foot of the cross, weeping and believing.
We Protestants ignore Mary at our peril. May we be so quick and tenacious in our faith that God will deliver on all he has promised in our lives and in this world.
Quote of the Day, 12/17/07
“And I do come home at Christmas. We all do, or we all should. We all come home, or ought to come home, for a short holiday — the longer, the better — from the great boarding school, where we are forever working at our arithmetical slates, to take, and give a rest.” — C. Dickens
Football Results (Week Fifteen)
This year, the Bweinh!tributors shall compete each week by proxy on the mighty gridiron!
The fifteenth week’s results
Philadelphia def. Dallas; Cleveland def. Buffalo; Jacksonville def. Pittsburgh
New England def. NY Jets; Green Bay def. St. Louis
| Bweinh!tributor | This Week | Overall | GB | |||
| Djere | 3-2 | 54-21 | — | |||
| Mike | 3-2 | 49-16 | — | |||
| Steve | 4-1 | 53-22 | 1 | |||
| Tom | 3-2 | 53-22 | 1 | |||
| Josh | 0-0 | 41-15 | 3.5 | |||
| MC-B | 3-2 | 50-25 | 4 | |||
| Connie | 2-3 | 46-29 | 8 | |||
| David | 3-2 | 45-30 | 9 | |||
| Erin | 3-2 | 30-20 | 11.5 |
By category
Avid fans: 159-62 (.719)
Slight fans: 99-51 (.660)
Uninterested: 211-134 (.612)
Romans Playoffs: Round 2
It’s time once again to add to the Pantheon of Biblical band names! In the preliminary round, four favorites were knocked off — will the trend continue in round 2??
Past winners? Kindred (Genesis) and Stripe for Stripe (Exodus).
Advent Devotional — Sunday, December 16
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Third Sunday in Advent
“Look, he is destined for the fall and for the rise of many in Israel, destined to be a sign that is opposed — and a sword will pierce your soul too — so that the secret thoughts of many may be laid bare.” (Luke 2:34-35, from the Morning Reading in The Divine Hours)
Last year, I had the privilege of pronouncing a blessing on our first daughter, Grace. “May He make you brave and beautiful,” I said. “May God use you to speak beauty to a cold and dead world.” A blessing I found lovely, and one I was proud to give our daughter.
In contrast, I’m not sure I’d want to pronounce on Gracie the blessing Simeon here pronounces on Jesus. It reveals that from the very start God had a purpose in Jesus’ life: to cause the rise of some, and the fall of others. In a sense, Jesus was to be a flashpoint: the central question of how one viewed God would be answered by how one viewed Jesus. Those that rejected Jesus, despite their piety and religious standing, were found to be rejecting God. And those that accepted Jesus, despite their sin and notoriety, were found to be accepting God. Indeed, Jesus’ life and person caused the secret thoughts of all these people to be laid bare; how a person looked at Jesus was a far more reliable indicator of their spiritual state than their actions.
To be a flashpoint, to cause some to rise and others to fall, to cause great social upheaval, is to live a life that rarely ends peacefully. Laying bare the thoughts of those that have a vested interest in keeping those thoughts secret is not a rewarding task. Setting up a Kingdom which is opposed to the kingdoms of this world inevitably will bring the wrath of those worldly kingdoms against you. In a sense, Simeon’s blessing on Jesus was not completely a blessing.
I am beginning to understand why Simeon told Mary that Jesus’ life would cause a sword to pierce her soul as well. When I prayed that God would use this baby girl to speak beauty to a cold and dead world, I was giving her a double-edged blessing. A pornographic and death-dealing world does not understand beauty. A world where art is a consumer product, or just another instrument to titillate and shock, is a world that does not know beauty. A world which misunderstands beauty will not understand someone who speaks beauty to it; such a world may even dislike the one who speaks beauty to it.
I, of course, do not want Gracie to be disliked by the world. Like Mary, I wish more than anything for my child to have a peaceful, ordinary life, with prosperity, peace and many loved ones. And yet for her life to be meaningful, for her to speak beauty to a world which does not understand it, or do whatever worthwhile task God calls her to, her life cannot always be easy. I pray that both Gracie and her parents have the strength to endure whatever faint echoes of the cross and the sword we have to face.
Why We Believe: Vol. 7
This and following weekends, we will share the brief salvation testimony of each Bweinh!tributor. Read the previous six right here.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about crisis theology, and what I believe or do not believe about it. My testimony isn’t really one of dates and bright lights shining down from a cloud, but I tried to write it as a series of events, periods of time that sort of explain my coming to faith, and struggles within it.
One — It is a sticky June evening in 1996 and I am reading one of those ‘Keys for Kids’ devotionals that come in the mail for free from Northern Christian Radio. I can’t stand my mother’s Twila Paris music (and I never will), but there’s something in this little devotional story, long forgotten, that makes me look in the back at the ABCs of Salvation, and pray it, piece by piece.
Two — It is a chilly February evening, a Wednesday, during my middle school years. My Bible Bowl team is laughing over a commercial, somehow tying it into what we are studying. We debate personal standards about alcohol, and how God will treat us in heaven. We don’t even close in prayer, but I know God is pleased that we’ve been working out with quite a bit of fear and trembling.
Three — It is rally time in 2001 and I am at Whispering Pines camp in Manton, Michigan. Jeremy Kingsley is speaking in his funny Southern dialect, a down-to-earth retelling of how Jesus drove out Legion. I think, God, this is how your Word is supposed to come alive! That camp is where my first emotional experiences with God were: before I learned to trust or distrust emotion.
Four — I think to myself, some time near New Year’s in my sophomore year of high school, that I should probably be reading the Bible daily. I fall asleep in the middle of a chapter of 1 Corinthians that night, and wake up in the middle of the night to turn my bedside lamp off and take my contacts out.
Five — We have been at Dayton Center Wesleyan for four years, and I am graduating. My application for Houghton has been sent in with my personal testimony on it, but it is appropriately, honestly unfocused.
Six — I am talking to Chloe on the phone on a summer evening after our first year of college together. We get off the phone and I am kneeling by my bed, face buried in the too-soft comforter, asking, Why don’t I know what to do with my life? I hear a word, and perhaps it really was audible. Wait.
Seven — I don’t know whether or not I want to stay at this tiny church in Belfast. The people are wonderful and well-meaning, their faiths sincere, but is it the kind of Christianity that I profess? Am I just tying into a place for security? All of this goes through my head as I play the piano for worship that October morning — but in the middle of the second song, I think the Spirit witnesses to mine and I know I am where I should be.
Eight — I am sitting at my computer on a cold, rainy December day, thinking of how to turn a lifestyle into words. The songwriter’s version of Abraham’s story is pinned up on my bulletin board, and I think his summary is where I will leave my testimony. It may not be a doubtless faith, or a 700 Club-worthy one, but it is who I am.
So take me to the mountain
I will follow where You lead
There I’ll lay the body of the boy You gave to me
And even though You take him
Still I ever will obey
But Maker of this mountain, please —
Make another way.
Holy is the Lord, Holy is the Lord
And the Lord I will obey.
Lord, help me,
I don’t know the way.
Advent Devotional — Saturday, December 15
Saturday, December 15, 2007
“Grant us grace to heed their [the prophets’] warnings and forsake our sins, that we may greet with joy the coming of Jesus Christ our Redeemer…” (The Prayer Appointed for the Week, in The Divine Hours, from The Book of Common Prayer)
Well, we have reached the ten-day countdown to Christmas Day. My feelings as a kid and as an adult on December 15 are very different things. As a kid, December 15 felt like a day when you could officially start believing Christmas was near. I’d counted days since the middle of October, keeping a lonely vigil over the calendar even when no one else was interested. But by December 15, reality was beginning to sink in everywhere: school was beginning to slow down for the Christmas break; even delinquent present-buyers were requesting my wish list; and even the snap in the air said that Christmas was near. And so I could respond with the joy of childhood abandon.
Fast-forward 20 or 25 years, and my response to December 15 is altogether different. For one thing, church responsibilities sink in hard and heavy at this time. Is the concert together? How are things looking for church this week and next? Christmas Eve falls on a Monday, which is just cruel to a pastor, because you basically have to have everything ready by the end of the previous week, as well as the regular Sunday service. By December 15, reality begins to sink in everywhere: you’ve got job responsibilities to attend to, as well as all the usual family and travel arrangements, and Christmas is coming soon, like it or not! No more do I respond to that inevitable date with childhood joy; now it is greeted with a healthy dose of adult dread (OK, with some joy mixed in). The reality of Christmas’s coming is different for different people; for some, it is a cause for joy and celebration, and some dread its arrival.
This prayer realizes that there is a spiritual truth that parallels this common feeling. The coming of Christ means different things to different people. For those who are prepared for his coming, it is a cause for joy; the prayer identifies this group as those who have heeded the prophets’ warnings and forsaken their sins. Their hearts are emptied of all selfish and fearful motives, and there is room for Christ to come in and take control; Christ comes as the deepest longing of their hearts. But for those who have failed to prepare spiritually for Christ’s arrival, for those who are still clinging to selfish and evil longings, the coming of Christ is not a cause for joy but for fear. Because they have loved rather than renounced things that are not pleasing to Christ, His coming is most unwelcome, interrupting their lives.
This is part of the meaning of Advent. We are called on to spiritually prepare ourselves anew for the Christ who is always coming. As we would do in our homes before a visitor arrives, Advent asks us to clean up and prepare our hearts so that Christ’s presence in our heart will not be an unwelcome intrusion, but an occasion for joy.
My Year in Review (Part One)
After spending 10 days in picturesque Sackets Harbor, celebrating Christmas with my family and watching my son get married, we packed up our stuff and left for Alabama on New Year’s Eve, so…
January 1st of 2007 found us in Winchester, Virginia, groggy and road weary, threatening a Burger King drive-thru speaker with Klingon curses in an attempt to get some breakfast for the road. After a 15-minute wait behind a dozen cars, and 5 minutes with no response to our hails, we eventually gave up and drove off in frustration. Rounding the corner of the building, we found a hand-lettered sign announcing they would not be open on New Year’s Day. Looking back at the dozen cars that had lined up behind us, we considered trying to tell them, but then laughed an evil laugh and got back on the highway.
In order to get my family up and on the road early, I had started singing about “The Platypus” (our massive luggage carrier). I learned this trick when my kids were younger — sing a silly song about what you have to do, and it gets them laughing and keeps them from falling back asleep. It works even better when they’re adults; we continued all the way home, eventually writing a rock opera, based on Bohemian Rhapsody, centered around the Platypi (as he came to be known):
I’m just a Platypi looking for a family!
He’s just a Platypi looking for a family!
We arrived home, reintegrated ourselves into society, and spent the rest of the month digging out from Christmas debt. I ended “The Great Rodent Wars,” vanquishing the last two diabetic rats who had terrorized our house by attacking the water lines, then turned 46 (outliving my father by 7 years and counting). We were named Associate Pastors of the church we were attending, then watched the Pastor and his wife get ambushed at a board meeting a week later, forced to resign. We were also no longer welcome and thus began our next search for a new church.
February came and Peyton Manning won his first Super Bowl, against the mighty Chicago Bears, led by Rex “One-Year Wonder” Grossman. It was not a close game, and afterward Peyton thanked everyone, especially Rex, for making such a wonderful year possible. The Philadelphia Flyers continued their worst year in recent memory, driving hard to finish dead last in the NHL — no easy task.
I personally spent the month battling The Columbus Ledger-Enquirer in an attempt to accomplish the almost-impossible feat of having my daily newspaper delivered daily. In an exchange of emails, they blamed me for living in a bad neighborhood where people apparently stole newspapers; then the director of circulation accidentally forwarded me an email from the local carrier: “You should see his newspaper box! It’s right on the street, practically screaming, ‘STEAL MY PAPER!’ ”
I emailed them back, pointing out that I could move the newspaper box off the street, but then I would be the only house without a newspaper tube on the mailbox post — plus she would have to get out of her car to deliver my newspaper on foot. I also mentioned that the thief must be quite prolific because, being OCD, when my paper doesn’t show up, I methodically drive to every coin box and convenience store in my neighborhood looking for a replacement — and every time, not one box, not one store in my entire neighborhood had any papers! That seemed to turn the tide, and my carrier stopped skipping my neighborhood on busy days.
March made my wife and I fondly remember a trip we had taken the year before, to Pine Mountain, Georgia. We stayed on a mountaintop where we (or at least I) could watch the sunrise over the mountain every morning from our balcony. It was such a wonderful trip that, even though money was still tight, we planned a return trip for March ’07. Everything was fine until we actually went on the trip. My wife did not want the nice hotel on the mountaintop this time; she wanted a rustic lodge she had spotted the year before, which advertised cabins with jacuzzis. But the cabins were $200/night, so we took a lodge room.
We drove up Friday night, but my wife had forgotten her dramamine, and the winding roads left her quite ill. We went to bed early and later discovered “rustic lodge” means “no insulation in the walls.” We were awakened by people in the next room at 10 p.m., arriving for what appeared to be some type of party/screaming contest. The next day we shelled out the $200 so we could spend the entire day and night stretched out on luxurious couches in a beautiful cabin, suffering from stomach viruses and watching lame movies on the Hallmark Channel.
The Flyers finished dead last in the NHL; Syracuse got snubbed by the NCAA Tournament, even though they won 24 games (10-6 in the Big East); and a close friend died of cancer after a 2-year battle that brought him back to the Lord.
But on March 30th an email arrived that rewarded a lifetime of hard work — and negotiations began with media mogul Steve Maxon regarding a position opening up at Bweinh!
Maybe my life was working out…
Advent Devotional — Friday, December 14
Friday, December 14, 2007
“The glory of this new Temple will surpass that of the old, says Yahweh Sabaoth, and in this place I shall give peace — Lord Sabaoth declares.” (Haggai 2:9, from the Midday Reading in The Divine Hours)
It’s hard for us to imagine the devastation the citizens of Judah must have felt. During their almost 50 years of exile in Babylon, the old men and women had kept hope alive by telling their children and grandchildren stories of their homeland. Now, finally allowed to return, there is merely rubble where the beautiful temple once stood. Their homes are all gutted or gone; their neighborhoods have become fodder for jackals and squatters; nothing is as it once had been.
Along comes Haggai, who probably registered in the public mind as something of a cruel nuisance, whipping his followers into an excited frenzy, convincing them that they could restore their home to a glory which even exceeded the glory of the past. Perhaps this was a nice notion, but common sense said it could not be achieved, at least not anytime in the near future. And there was no need to waste the efforts of young men and women on rebuilding old buildings when they needed to tend to their families and prepare for the grim new reality they all faced in their situation.
There is something of the dreamer in every faithful Christian, which is not satisfied simply by coping with “reality,” but re-imagining it completely. The Christian questions the wisdom of the world, because the world’s wisdom essentially boils down to coping as best one can with the reality that life is grim and that nothing of eternal import exists. So we tend to our retirement accounts, the things that give us pleasure, and enjoy a few fleeting moments whenever we can.
But the Christian cannot be satisfied by existing peacefully within this the grim worldview. The Christian has to look forward to the coming of the Kingdom of God, has to believe that it has started in a unique way with the coming of Jesus and will be brought in its fullness when He comes again. The Christian has to believe that the desolation we see with our eyes is not the whole story, and that life is so much more than simply coping as best we can with this reality. The Christian has to believe that the Kingdom is here and is coming. Like the faithful in Haggai’s day, we assure others that what we see is not all there is; and like them, we keep building even when it doesn’t make sense. We work on building a Kingdom that cannot yet be seen because it is that Kingdom that has given us life.
Joke of the Day, 12/14/07
A cowboy walked out of a bar, and a second later, came back in, mighty mad.
“Okay,” he yelled. “Which one of you sidewindin’ hombres went outside an’ painted mah horse bright red while I was a-drinkin’?”
No one answered. The cowpoke drew his six-shooter and yelled, “I said, which one of you mangy polecats painted mah horse red?!”
Slowly one of the cowboys at the bar stood up. Six feet eight inches tall, he pulled a small cannon from his holster. “I done it,” he growled.
The first cowboy put his gun back in the holster. “Uhhh… I just wanted to let you know the first coat’s dry.”
Best of Bweinh! — Childlike Faith
In 
honor of his birthday (that’s right, two in two days), here’s an article from MC-B, previously published in June 2007.
Matthew 18:2-4 says that in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven, we must become humble like little children. I’ve been told occasionally that this kind of humbleness means following God with an unquestioning faith, like a toddler trusting his or her parents to make everything all right and handle the affairs that are beyond a less developed mind.
God wants us to trust him for all of our needs, and there are parts of God’s plan that don’t make sense to us from our position here on the ground; these things are beyond question, especially in light of other Scriptures. However, anyone who has experience with toddlers or young children can verify the fact that “unquestioning” is almost the worst possible choice to describe these (perhaps besides “clean” and, in some cases, “courteous”). The question “Why?” seems to be the one most often asked by toddlers in their desire to better understand the world around them.
My hope is that we truly would be like children in the faith, constantly seeking answers about God and His creation. One trend that seems to be present (though perhaps decelerating, thank the Lord) in the modern American church, especially when viewed from the outside, is a distrust for intellectual pursuits and a reliance on simplistic populism to spread the gospel message. Some preach that the Gospel message is simple, which it is, but also that it is simplistic, which it is not. Why bother considering your faith intellectually if all you need to guide your walk is “feeling” God?
As a result, to the academically inclined, spiritual belief is viewed as symptomatic of intellectual death, and sometimes intellectual debate or theological discussions, which are the church’s best ways of asking itself “why” and “how” questions, are viewed by churchgoers as almost pharisaical* and not focused enough on the Spirit or the relational aspect of salvation. The emotional experiences that we associate with God are important, but they do not detract from (nor are they even completely separable from) the intellectual and/or theological roots of our faith.
Sometimes, a “because I said so” from our Father is the most complete answer that our deficient minds can process and we must therefore be content, if not satisfied, with this answer. However, we should not presuppose this answer before we ask, and believers should always ask questions of God, themselves and others, so as to be prepared to engage the world on a strong intellectual footing.
*This post brought to you by the 365 New Words-A-Year Page-A-Day Calendar.
Romans Playoffs: Round 1
It’s time once again to add to the Pantheon of Biblical band names! You’ve selected 21 of the best submissions from the book of Romans, and here are the first five matchups among them.
Past winners? Kindred (Genesis) and Stripe for Stripe (Exodus).
Ask Bweinh! Poll — The Twelve Days
Which of the famous gifts in the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ song would we like to receive?
| Rank | Gift | Points | ||
| 1. | 5 golden rings | 35 | ||
| 2. | 6 geese-a-laying | 19 | ||
| 3-4 (tie) | 3 French hens; 9 ladies dancing | 16 | ||
| 5. | 10 lords-a-leaping | 14 | ||
| 6. | 11 pipers piping | 9 | ||
| 7. | 8 maids-a-milking | 7 | ||
| 8. | 4 calling birds | 6 | ||
| 9. | 12 drummers drumming | 5 | ||
| 10. | 2 turtle doves | 4 | ||
| Other | 7 swans-a-swimming; a partridge in a pear tree | 2 |
Advent Devotional — Thursday, December 13
Thursday, December 13, 2007
“Of the Father’s love begotten, ere the winds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega, he the source, the ending he
Of the things that are, that have been and that future years shall see.”
(Of the Father’s Love Begotten by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius; from the Evening Prayer in The Divine Hours)
This hymn illustrates Christ’s eternal nature: He is both Alpha and Omega; both the source and the capstone of all things in all times.
What does it say that such a One chose to take on flesh and to lay in a manger? This is the question that will confront you if you choose to face it in the next couple of weeks. We, who know all too well the limitations of the human experience, have to ask what it means that God would willingly take on those limitations. What does it mean that the Almighty decided to need diapers? What does it mean that the one who called together God’s people from the four corners of the earth suddenly had to walk like the rest of us, plodding over the soil?
Perhaps the message is this: before we follow Christ to the cross, we must follow Him to the manger. Before we, like Peter, assert our ability to follow Christ to death, we must first demonstrate our ability to follow Him into a seemingly lesser life, a life the world does not always understand. In fact, maybe our inability to follow Christ to the cross is directly related to our unwillingness to follow Him to the manger. Maybe we are incapable of following Christ to death if we have not first followed Him to a new kind of life.
Perhaps the call of the manger in our lives means willingly giving up income in order that those around us may have more. Perhaps it means moving out of a privileged neighborhood into another. Perhaps it means a call to sexual chastity, even celibacy, in a promiscuous world. Perhaps it means choosing to drive in less car than you could, live in less house than you could, and eat less food than you could. Perhaps this is what is involved with going to the manger: taking the things the world calls power and laying them aside, taking your birthright and giving it away.
Quote of the Day, 12/13/07
“When Christmas bells are swinging above the fields of snow,
we hear sweet voices ringing from lands of long ago,
and etched on vacant places
are half-forgotten faces
of friends we used to cherish,
and loves we used to know.”
— E.W. Wilcox
Jobsquatch, Vol. 3
The question of Job Tate’s existence is far from settled. As morning broke, Tom thought he and Steve had enough evidence to prove it already, but Steve refused to go home when they were so close to possibly capturing the noble beast. Who was right? Was Tate toying with them? And can any man hope to see Job Tate’s face — and live?
On the day Americans celebrate as Job Tate’s birthday — we bring you this brave journey, captured on video.
Part one is here; part two is here, but now we bring you — the final chapter, right here!
Battle of the Bands XXXIX
Moving on is Strive — and the Romans playoffs await!
The next contestants are below, from the first part of Luke!
Bible Discussion — Luke 1:1-38
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the beginning of a brand new book for us, Luke 1:1-38.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
INTRODUCTION:
David:
Luke always lets you know exactly what he’s doing at the beginning of each passage, and here he states in clear and beautiful language the purpose for this epistle. He has attained a clear spiritual and chronological understanding of the Gospel that Theophilus has staked his life on, and he wants to be sure his friend has that same clarity as a sure foundation.
Mike:
Two godly women set an example for their husbands — and us — as they agree to play challenging parts in the coming of God’s Kingdom. For one, a pregnancy was beyond hope and for the other, it was beyond imagination.
Connie:
An account of the ministry of Jesus, as written by Dr. Luke to his friend Theo. If I’m not mistaken, it’s the most-quoted for the Christmas season and by the Peanuts Christmas special.
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Connie:
Both Zacharias and Mary asked Gabriel “How?” types of questions in response to his declarations, but only Zach was punished… Hmmm.
Mike:
1:29: “[Mary] wondered what sort of greeting this might be.” She wondered if the angel’s greeting — “The Lord is with you” — was really good news, or whether it might just be terribly inconvenient to her life plans.
Steve:
Elizabeth was also from the lineage of Aaron, which made John the Baptist a priest from both sides.
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Mike: No Business Being Pregnant
David: Zachariah
Connie: Theophilus
MC-B: Zechariah’s Division
Steve: Struck Mute
Jobsquatch, Vol. 2
Some refuse to believe Job Tate exists, but Steve and Tom knew it was true. After spending a fitful afternoon failing to find any woman in Vermont that could serve as “Tate bait,” the brothers return to home base — only to find a surprise waiting at the top of the stairs. Is this enough? Can the boys go home?
On the day Americans celebrate as Job Tate’s birthday — we bring you this brave journey, captured on video.
Part one can be seen here.
Now — onto part two, right here!
Advent Devotional — Wednesday, December 12
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
“As the deer longs for the water-brooks, so longs my soul for you, O God. My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God; when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?”
(Psalm 42:1-2; from the Morning Psalm in The Divine Hours)
The praise chorus which was inspired by this psalm is a quiet sort of song which conjures up the pastoral scene of flowing streams and verdant meadows. Of course, to the deer, the desire for flowing streams is not a romantic longing — it is a matter of life and death. The deer needs water to survive; a self-replenishing source like a brook was life to a deer. A deer would frantically, desperately search for water just to survive, to get by. It is this image that the Psalmist uses to talk about his own thirst for God; a frantic, desperate thirst, as yet unrequited.
Advent asks us to cultivate that same thirst for God. That thirst is a difficult thing to grow. For one thing, we live in a culture that assures us God is unnecessary and quite possibly even harmful to our happiness. But for another, many Protestant churches have stressed God’s availability to us. The concept of the priesthood of all believers, for instance, has (rightly) told us that we do not need a priestly mediator to interact with God–that each of us has access to God for our own individual selves. And of course we have and treasure that access; but it is difficult to cultivate a thirst for anything that is always available — even God.
So how do we cultivate this thirst? In his providence God has given us many ways. One meaningful Advent-sort-of way is fasting, taking away the delight of a beloved food (or all food for a short period of time). When we treat that self-denial as a spiritual discipline, prayer accompanies our fasting: Lord, let me long for you in the way I’m longing for doughnuts. Our spirits are trained to desire God again; through denying ourselves smaller pleasures, we learn to associate that longing with our greater longing for God. Let me encourage you to find a way of fasting, be it through food or some other gift of God you wish to give up for a time; in it, you will learn to thirst for the living God.
Joke of the Day, 12/12/07
Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
You do all the work while a fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
Jobsquatch, Vol. 1
On the heels of the great debate over Job Tate’s existence, Steve and Tom traveled to Vermont last month to see if they could lure the great mythical beast out of hiding. They brought along a video camera, two leather jackets, their leftover fries from Wendy’s and a dream — a dream that they could finally capture the elusive Tate on film, to prove to the world once and for all that Job lives and breathes and walks among us.
Now — on the day Americans celebrate as Job Tate’s birthday — we bring you their journey, captured on video.
The first step? Part one . . . watch it here!
This Week’s Chick Tract Answer
Which of these didn’t happen in the battle for one man’s soul??
   |
If you picked “A demon hides a man’s car keys,” you’re a winner!!
OOPS! There’s Baphomet again!
©1984-2007 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).
Boaz Bloom and Tumble-Down Row, Part Seven
The last of the Best of Job, continued. Lost? Read part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, and part six!
Well, Grandma, I did my deed. Your sweaters and stuff are now at the Salvation Army, your pictures boxed and shipped to New Hampshire. I’m sorry to take them from the heartland.
Your house was sold to a young couple from Texas or something. I thought you’d appreciate that. I found that $10 bill tucked in your TV Guide and took Becky to Dairy Queen with it.
We’re gonna write.
My last day in Chap, I ate all three meals in town and made my rounds, saying goodbye to a few people. Becky was on vacation with her family. In the diner, I saw the government man down the counter. Being two outsiders we naturally let our conversation fall into orbit, and I asked if he had the aerials with him, and if I could see them one last time. He obliged me and pulled them from his case, while encouraging the waitress to warm up his coffee. I thumbed through them casually at first while still maintaining a conversation with him, but then I began to become further engrossed in the photos.
Wait…
I thumbed back…then forward again.
Whoa whoa whoa.
I laid them out on the counter, moved the salt shaker, and laid out some more. Sound rushed into my ears and my brow grew hot. For the first and only time in my life, I placed my hand over my mouth in instinctual shock.
From the air above Chap, in a series of photos, I saw Boaz’s daily path complete. And I could see, before tears clouded my vision, that the path carefully, artfully, in cursive — wrote out the name “Amelia.”
Directly above the town, lovingly carved into the earth with vulcanized rubber, funded by aluminum, powered by 200 lbs. of ballast and the thrust of two tired legs.
Amelia.
The man noticed my reaction and asked me what was the matter. I explained in stutters.
“Holy sweet Jesus…” he said with a gasp.
In a daze he added, before we parted, “He did everything but dot the ‘i’…”
So I went home, got my car — not a Honda — and went back to school.
Graduated. Married.
House on Long Island.
Kids.
I’ve rethought that summer over and over again and I think of Boaz often, still — a man I will always admire but cringe at the thought of becoming.
I’ve replayed conversations over in my mind — you know what I mean. His death always bothered me. It was such an inglorious end for a man who turned out to be one of my life’s heroes.
Ugh.
But, hey, listen, let me tell you something and then I’ll let you go, aye?
On a rainy night last May, I was lying awake, with my wife on my shoulder, thinking. As you know, 2 a.m. is no man’s land for thought, and I let my mind wander if I can’t sleep. Car payments, my son’s touchdown last year, my first dog.
I smiled about the sculpture out in Missouri and wondered how it was weathering the years of rain and snow and wind without Boaz’s upkeep. Amelia was probably dead now too, it occurred to me — buried next to that rich punk. All of hers and Boaz’s little spots down in Florida overgrown or developed into housing units — the place where they’d met now a mini-mall with 50% off Dockers or something, ya know?
Rain steadily thumped my roof. In my drowsy haze, I retraced the lines of Boaz’s path in my mind, in service to him. Upkeeping the trail in my mind.
“Did everything but dot the ‘i’…”
I suddenly shot up in bed, rolling Katie over. Closing my eyes, I feverishly envisioned the photos as best as I could after 20 years. I could see the name “Amelia” in the hillside; up above, the highway.
And I thought, and envisioned, and gripped my comforter — and could see the ‘i’ in “Amelia” rising up and pointing at the highway, directly at the spot where Boaz had died.
Died, and dotted an ‘i.’
I fell back into the pillows.
My friend Boaz had died a cucumber.
Advent Devotional — Tuesday, December 11
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
“He (Zechariah) asked for a writing tablet and wrote, ‘His name is John.’ And all of them were amazed. Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue freed, and he began to speak, praising God.”
(Luke 1:63-64; from the Morning Reading in The Divine Hours)
Zechariah is one of the more fascinating characters in the Christmas story. Because he fails to immediately believe the angel’s promise of a son, he is struck mute for nine months. When his son is born, he is freed from his muteness when he agrees with the angel and his wife Elizabeth that the baby is to be named John.
We tend to think of this as a punishment, and perhaps in a sense it was. But maybe it was more for Zechariah’s sake than anything. I believe that the deepest need of Zechariah’s heart at that time was silence. Think about it: he had just seen an angel appear before him, a supernatural messenger of God before his very eyes. This angel had given him good news, and instead of receiving it with joy, Zechariah demanded a sign: “How will I know that this is so?” So an angel stood before him, and still this was not proof enough for him that this was true; he demanded something more than the appearance of a supernatural being!
As remarkable as this seems to us, it reveals something about the human condition: we are able to miss even the most obvious messages God sends to us. The noise of our world renders God’s voice inaudible. The confusion of the world makes God’s good gifts look restrictive, makes our own self-destructive paths look appealing. Of course, the antidote to this is silence. When we intentionally shut off the noise of the world, we hear the voice of God without distraction and then we become more able to hear that voice amid the world’s noise. Intentionally choosing times of silence is a key to hearing God clearly in the world.
Of course, we cannot be trusted to intentionally choose the gift of silence; neither could Zechariah be so trusted. So he had silence graciously thrust upon him. And after nine months of imposed silence, finally he was able to recognize a good gift of God when he saw it. “His name is John,” he wrote, and finally he was able to move from silence to proclaiming the good news of God.
Likely you will not have silence thrust upon you these next two weeks. But I pray that silence suffuses your very being until Christmas Day. Live as one set apart from the world; live as one who observes it. Make a conscious effort to drown out the noise of the world, so that you can hear the Incarnate Word when He is spoken. And in so doing, may God equip you to proclaim the good news of that Boy to the ends of the earth; and may God’s vision for your life be born in this time of silence.
Quote of the Day, 12/11/07
“The sufficiency of my merit is to know that my merit is not sufficient.” — Augustine
The Council’s Ruling — Most Dangerous Creature
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — What is the most dangerous animal or creature?
Erin delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by MC-B, Job, and David:
The mosquito. Malaria, dengue fever, encephalitis, West Nile anyone?
Tom dissents, joined by Connie and Djere:
Community-associated methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus. Flesh. Eating. Disease.
Steve dissents:
Cats. They reduce testosterone in men and have been known to turn ordinary women into crazy muttering plastic bag collectors.
Mike dissents:
Animal from the Muppets. WOMAN!!! WOMAN!!!
Chloe dissents:
The rat can travel anywhere, and carries with it diseases capable of decimating entire civilizations.
Josh played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next week: What is the most quintessentially American food?
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Christmas Highlights
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll (now presented in Spanish — just hit the ‘SAP button’ on your remote!) asks for the Bweinh!tributors’ favorite parts of the Christmas season.
| Rank | Highlight | Points | ||
| 1. | People/Family | 29 | ||
| 2. | Decorations/Mistletoe/Tree | 14 | ||
| 3. | Snow/Cold Weather | 12 | ||
| 4-5 (tie) | Cookies; Vacation | 11 | ||
| 6. | Carols | 10 | ||
| 7. | Dinner | 6 | ||
| 8-10 (tie) | “The end”; Candlelight Service; The Wumpus | 5 | ||
| Other | Wood smoke; Generosity; Presents; Movies; Shopping; Chex Mix; Regifting; “Annual Nativity Scene Lawsuits”; Elves; Egg Nog; Festivus | 1-4 |
Advent Devotional — Monday, December 10
Monday, December 10, 2007
“Once he came in blessing, all our ills redressing;
Came in likeness lowly, Son of God most holy;
Bore the cross to save us, hope and freedom gave us.
Still he comes within us, still his voice would win us,
From the sins that hurt us, would to Truth convert us:
Not in torment hold us, but in love enfold us.”
(Hymn by Jan Roh; in the Vespers Reading in The Divine Hours)
“The sins that hurt us.” We don’t often think about this reality: sin hurts. Even us Christians think of sin as something really hard to avoid because it’s so much fun. Illicit sex, a life of stingy, self-satisfied wealth while the world starves, an ability to take advantage of another without uneasiness: these things may seem wrong to us, but equally they seem thrilling. We channel these feelings into healthier, or at least less destructive, activities: we may watch them on a movie screen, but at least we don’t act on our feelings. Yet we often forget that sin hurts. And not just in the sense of where you’ll land in the afterlife. Sin hurts here, in this world.
Think about your body. It is a marvelous machine, capable of so much, especially at a young age. Yet when we fail to use our bodies for their intended purposes, we actually harm them. For example, when we treat food as an emotional crutch rather than as fuel for the purposes of God, our bodies often reflect it in being overweight. When we fail to exercise our bodies, while working at jobs where we sit all the time, our bodies are incapable of being all they can be — all that God created and intended them to be.
Sin works in the same way. When we fail to act on God’s intentions for our lives, we bear the scars here and now. When we make a habit of degrading our neighbor, something in our conscience goes numb and it becomes more and more of an effort to love our neighbor. We retreat into ourselves, trusting fewer and fewer people, until ultimately we are incredibly lonely. When we make stingy and selfish decisions, we are less and less inclined toward the generosity God intended us to display. We turn further and further to possessions and money for happiness, and live our lives in a constant state of disappointment that they cannot deliver.
It is for this reason that God’s voice still “would to Truth convert us.” It is not because God wants us to live a life of renunciation where we sign away our rights to enjoy anything. It is because God wants us to see what we Truly are, the purposes for which we were created. And if we live in that way, if we live with an eye toward taking on behaviors which reinforce those purposes, and rejecting behaviors which work against those purposes, we will live truly happy lives.
Imagine owning a shiny, sleek convertible and insisting it was actually a Land Rover. You’d take the convertible off-roading for about 30 seconds, until you tried to drive over a rock or through a creek. Then you would realize the folly of treating something that was created to be one thing as something entirely different. So it is with us; when we pretend that we were created to achieve, or to gain possessions, or to exalt ourselves, we are headed for disaster.
Joke of the Day, 12/10/07
After her son fell in the pond again and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, the exasperated mother sent him to his room and washed and dried his clothes.
A little later, she heard a commotion in the back yard. She called out, “Are you out there wetting your pants again!?”
There was dead silence for a moment, and then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly — “No, ma’am, just reading the meter.”
Football Results (Week Fourteen)
This year, the Bweinh!tributors shall compete each week by proxy on the mighty gridiron!
The fourteenth week’s results
Buffalo def. Miami; Indianapolis def. Baltimore; Green Bay def. Oakland
San Diego def. Tennessee; Cincinnati def. St. Louis
| Bweinh!tributor | This Week | Overall | GB | |||
| Djere | 5-0 | 51-19 | — | |||
| Mike | 5-0 | 46-14 | — | |||
| Tom | 4-1 | 50-20 | 1 | |||
| Steve | 4-1 | 49-21 | 2 | |||
| Josh | 0-0 | 41-15 | 3 | |||
| MC-B | 5-0 | 47-23 | 4 | |||
| Connie | 3-2 | 44-26 | 7 | |||
| David | 4-1 | 42-28 | 9 | |||
| Erin | 0-0 | 27-18 | 11.5 |
By category
Avid fans: 152-59 (.720)
Slight fans: 93-47 (.664)
Uninterested: 197-123 (.616)
Countdown to America Electing Yet Another Self-Centered, Self-Serving Egotist 2008
There are more than three weeks until the official start of the Year of our Lord 2008.
Already there are over 7,100,000 hits on google for election 2008. Contrast that with fewer than 3.9 million for Britney Spears, and even a walrus can see that FAR TOO MUCH has already been written about an election over 300 days away.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy politics as much as the next guy who minored in Political Science (Poli-Sci, for those in the know). I’m just not a glutton for punishment. Not that the news media are going to let us off the hook. They’ll be all up in our collective grill, telling us either what we already know or what they want us to know, creating and destroying buzz words faster than Dan Rather can give a frog a handgun.
Flashback 2004
Djere is seated in JLM 319 – Editorial, Opinion, and News Analysis. The assignment was to inform the professor which Presidential candidate you support (thus splitting the class in half), and as editorial boards, write an endorsement for your candidate. After tallying the slips of paper a sigh, and a slight pause, Professor Karadjov speaks.
P.K.: “I’m going to need five volunteers. Contrary to national polling, Mr. Maxon here is the only student in the class supporting President Bush for relection.”
So clearly the *next* generation of Journalists is as liberal as you thought they’d be.
Thank God for democracy and all that, but if this election crap keeps up, it’s going to take more than Twiggy water skiing around a kiddie pool to keep from losing my mind.
Swiftboating, leapfrogging, gerrymandering… aww, crap for crap.
On the bright side, it was my (unbeknownst to me) Al Capone quote that got my endorsement voted best in the class.
“And remember: this election day, vote early, vote often, and vote for Bush.”
P.S. So far, only one reply… from the RON PAUL campaign!
Advent Devotional — Sunday, December 9
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Second Sunday in Advent
“Fling wide the portals of your heart;
Make it a temple, set apart
From earthly use for heaven’s employ,
Adorned with prayer and love and joy.” (From Lift Up Your Heads, Eternal Gates by George Weissel; in the Vespers Reading in The Divine Hours)
This hymn expresses almost perfectly the sentiment of Advent. The first verse essentially says, “Jesus is on the way;” and our response is summed up in this second verse. Because the Savior is here, our response must be to open our lives completely to Him. We “fling wide the portals of our hearts,” giving Him complete access to our lives, to tinker in whatever nooks and crannies He wishes to change. The goal of all this is holiness, that is, we wish for our hearts to be “set apart,” different from the rest of the world. We have different purposes: we have moved from “earthly use” to “heaven’s employ,” trading in human purposes for God’s purposes in our lives. We also have a different sense of what makes us beautiful: “prayer and love and joy” serve as our adornments rather than whatever the world is calling beautiful at the present moment.
In what ways are you pursuing holiness today? Let me suggest that the hymn’s message is a wise one. In order for us to become set apart, in order for us to allow God’s purposes to shape and mold our desires, we first need to “fling wide” open the gates to our heart. Our first step has to be to allow Christ unfettered access to our lives.
We often pay lip service to this without realizing what it really means. It means that in a sense we can never be at home here, as many in the world are. Our sense of security cannot come from our jobs, our homes, our nation, our possessions, for allegiance to Christ may (probably will) threaten these things from time to time. Instead, our sense of security has to come from its best and only source: from God himself. “All other ground is sinking sand,” says another hymn, and this is true. To become truly holy, truly set apart, can be a painful process of letting go of other allegiances that are comfortable to us.
May the next few days of Advent be for you a time of “flinging wide” the gates to your heart, and allowing Christ access. Even when it’s scary, even when it’s painful, may you find your security not in created things, but in God himself. May this be so not for your own sake alone, but for the whole world you can touch with the hands of Christ.
Scientology – nicht aus Deutschland!
I’m really not the biggest fan of Scientology. I know that’s probably hard to believe, but I personally think that Galactic Overlord Xenu is a little overrated. Sure, maybe he was king of the Galactic Confederacy 75 million years ago, but if you’re an evil overlord, you just don’t go around killing billions of your subjects with volcanoes and hydrogen bombs. It’s bad practice and it lowers morale across the empire.
Since I don’t like Scientology all that much, I should have been happy when I found out that the German government is considering declaring Scientology unconstitutional. However, in increasingly atheistic Europe, I worry that the grounds on which the Germans are considering banning Scientology (cult-like behavior and exploiting followers for financial gain) could easily be extended to Christianity from an outside observer’s perspective. Scientology has both of these characteristics to an absurd degree that no sect of Christianity with which I am familiar possesses, but give it a few decades.
If you’re not inside Christianity, there are parts that you won’t get. I was Christian from an early point in my life, and I still didn’t understand speaking in tongues or prophesying when I saw them. Unless lawmakers in Europe are themselves Christian or receive large amounts of electoral pressure from Christian groups, how can real, Spirit-fueled Christianity differentiate itself from cult movements? From my perspective, the Truth can triumph easily if people are willing to be God’s instruments, and national governments should not protect a follower of any religion, sect or cult from being “duped” unless that person normally has special protections against such things (children, the elderly, the infirm), even if it causes that person financial harm. What do you think? What threshold should be used to determine what components of religion (if any) should be regulated?
Advent Devotional — Saturday, December 8
Saturday, December 8, 2007
“Yes, I know the plans I have in mind for you, Yahweh declares, plans for peace, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. When you call to me and come to me, and pray to me, I shall listen to you. When you search for me, you will find me; when you search wholeheartedly for me, I shall let you find me.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14a; a midday reading from The Divine Hours)
On the face of it, this passage is part of a letter from Jeremiah to the people in exile in Babylon. The first paragraph of the letter is downright depressing: to the people who had hoped that this exile would be short-lived and that they’d be able to return home soon, Jeremiah says, “Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease” (Jer 29:5-6). In other words, settle in; you’re going to be there a while.
But then Jeremiah delivers this word to the people, that God still has plans for them, plans for a future and a hope. Though many of them would not live to see it, God still had their best interests in mind. There would be a future for God’s people.
I remember during my time in college, we would sing a song where the words were simply the NIV version of this Scripture: “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good to give to you a future and a hope.” The song caused many sentimental tears as seniors contemplated life beyond Houghton and reflected that God would take care of them wherever they went.
Of course, this is true. But in that setting there was something supremely foreign to the original text. We were college students, many of us children of privilege, graduating from a school known as one of the “Evangelical Ivies.” We were going into a world where job prospects were bright, where a degree could take us a long way in business, ministry, or graduate school. Most of us were returning to homes where our parents would put a roof over our heads and food in our bellies as long as we needed them to, while we got our feet under us.
This word was not written to children of privilege; it was written to foreigners and aliens in exile. And it did not tell them that if they just held on, they would see evidence of God’s faithfulness; it assured them that they would not see such evidence. And even though they would not see such evidence, still God was faithful. It assured them that even though they would live and die as foreigners, God was still in control and had a plan bigger even than their individual lives and success.
One cannot hear this passage as it was intended until he is in exile. One cannot understand it until she has given up their need for resolution in their lives; we cannot grasp it until we have given up our need to understand, reconcile, or be satisfied with their lives. Only when we have given up happiness as a main goal can we know, as those ancient exiles did, that God has a plan bigger than ourselves.
History in Making
I may have made history on my lunch break today.
I spent my hour of personal freedom emailing each of the major presidential campaigns with an identical question. I will share the question now, but I’ll wait to see how many replies I get before sharing the candidates’ OFFICIAL opinions.
Jeremiah Maxon wrote:
Subject: Question on an Issue
To Whom it May Concern:
There are many who are convinced that Zombies are the most convincing threat to national security. Where does your candidate stand on the issue of Zombies?
Sincerely,
Jeremiah Maxon
bweinh.com
This could be the best election year EVER!
USA PATRIOT Act
Misunderstood and misinterpreted, perhaps no piece of legislation in the history of our nation has been more vilified than the USA PATRIOT Act. Liberals and libertarians alike assail and revile it, with overblown claims of its supposedly horrifying effect on the privacy rights of American citizens, painting the picture of nosy, moralistic government agents, hunched over in a small room a la The Lives of Others, keeping dutiful tabs on each and every telephone call or email critical of Laura Bush’s earrings.
Imagine my surprise when I read the bill.
Or — to be accurate — read the bills. See, the USA PATRIOT Act (it’s an acronym, and that’s the proper title) isn’t a single bill per se. It’s mostly a series of amendments to existing bills, designed to make America’s intelligence-gathering and prosecution more flexible in light of the recent and vast changes in technology and the growing threat of international terrorism.
Here’s another surprise. Rather than being a wholesale Cheney-spawned attack on privacy, many of the changes it wrought actually increased the privacy rights of American citizens. Let me give you some examples.
Section 223 created civil liability, where none had existed, for unauthorized disclosures of the material collected in electronic surveillance. Section 218 requires a “significant purpose” of a FISA search or surveillance, which already requires the target to be labeled an ‘agent of a foreign power,’ to be the collection of “foreign intelligence information,” which has a clear definition in the law, and cannot be somehow twisted to include your plans this weekend. This was a change from the original requirement (“the purpose”), but more stringent than the administration sought (“a purpose”). Section 215 (discussed further below) requires a court order to obtain information that the police can get right now without a warrant — to ensure there’s a paper trail and someone responsible. Section 109 of the reauthorization requires congressional oversight and reporting over most, if not all, of the new features.
Know what else? Most, if not all, of the more controversial sections have sunset provisions, which require repeated approvals by Congress, to ensure they are not being misused.
Section 206 allowed roving surveillance under FISA, which meant that rather than having to stick to tapping static phone lines while all the terrorists bought cell phones to plot attacks, we could allow investigators to tap a number or numbers. This requires a court order, and only applies to “agents of a foreign power,” but because of the possibility that an innocent bystander could use a tapped number or device, this still has a sunset provision, set to expire in 2009 (as best I know). Additional requirements added by Congress include specific facts and notice regarding each place or number, requiring government justification for every use.
The infamous section 215, regarding business records (including libraries and the like), is limited — you might not know this — to investigations designed to “protect against international terrorism or clandestine intelligence activities” or to get “foreign intelligence information not concerning U.S. persons.” No investigation of an American can be based solely on information protected by the First Amendment either. Anyway, all this section did was allow intelligence gatherers, with a court order, to look at the same information the police already could — there is no constitutional right to privacy, after all, in your library books. And there’s still a sunset provision, expiring in 2009 — plus extra amendments that allow challenges. Oh, and as of April 2005, DOJ had never used it in a library or bookstore.
I forgot — section 106 of the reauthorization added a whole host of additional requirements for this section too — facts about relevance to the investigation, enumeration of minimization factors, and a description of the specific tangible things being sought in the search — plus a provision for review by a three-judge panel, and oversight by the Attorney General and Inspector General.
And no. There’s nothing about making any US citizen disappear, or detaining any US citizen without a trial. That’s nothing but groundless nonsense, with no textual support whatsoever. In the first appeal heard from a FISA case, by the way, the appeals court imposed restrictions that were not in the law or the Constitution — requiring that law enforcement officers not make recommendations to intelligence officers about the initiation or operation of FISA searches or surveillances, and (erroneously, by the text of the law) claiming that applications for electronic surveillance could be approved only where the government’s objective was not primarily directed toward criminal prosecution of foreign agents for foreign intelligence activity.
Trouble understanding? What that means is that even in cases under FISA — which are limited to people under the control and direction of foreign powers, defined in such a way that the nature of their affiliation is a crime — we have to keep criminal law and intelligence-gathering separate. And when it comes to US citizens, the wall is fully intact. FISA laws have strict requirements about American citizens — if there’s a chance a tap or search will affect a US person, at the very least, the information must be “to protect against international terrorism or clandestine intelligence activities.”
You’re thinking — they’ll define that to include my local Ron Paul meetup! But they can’t! They have to go before a court originally with a long list of requirements, get an order that is very specific in what they can and cannot do, and then get re-authorized every 90 days after that. A few of these requirements don’t exist if American citizens aren’t involved, but courts are still involved, and the fruits of the search become a matter of record for the judge to consider in extending the time. The only time that there’s no court order requirement is when the wiretap is meant to intercept communications between actual foreign powers — overseas (or, I suppose, in their embassies).
These laws were not designed to decrease privacy, and on balance, they don’t do so for American citizens. What they do accomplish is to update the law in the area to include new technology, and allow some information about terrorists to be shared between law enforcement and intelligence agencies (although, as we’ve seen, this has been limited by the courts).
And I’ll repeat it one more time. There is absolutely ZERO chance that any of these changes could be used to arrest and detain an American citizen in the United States without due process. Enemy combatants in foreign lands are not American citizens, and although we could debate this, I don’t think they deserve any of our legal or constitutional protections. The Fourth Amendment requires a certain level of protection in our criminal law, and it’s been defined to require probable cause that you or I have committed a crime. The FISA laws and others like it, amended by the USA PATRIOT Act, actually require a higher standard — probable cause that the target is an agent of a foreign power, or that the information is to protect against international terrorism. Determined by a judge.
This was too long. But I had to say it.
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Hardest Jobs
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll — sponsored by Wendy’s: have it your way!
| Rank | Job | Points | ||
| 1. | Miner | 18 | ||
| 2. | Crab Fisherman | 11 | ||
| 3. | Policeman | 9 | ||
| 4. | Prison Guard | 7 | ||
| 5-8 (tie) | Middle School Teacher; Missionary; Overnight Stockboy; Lumberjill | 5 | ||
| 9-11 (tie) | Househusband; Farmer; Child Care | 4 | ||
| Other | Soldier; Retail; Oncologist; President; Fast Food; EMT; Sweatshop; Septic System Cleaner; Divorce Mediator; Nurse; Janitor; Mathematician; WalMart Greeter; Starving Artist; School Bus Driver; Miami Dolphin; Telemarketer | 1-3 |
Excerpt from the Real Journal
Monday, December 3rd, 2007 — lunch in the library at home
December, almost another year gone. I read Mark 1 through 4 today; in Mark 4:39-40, Jesus is awakened by His disciples and rebukes the wind and sea. He then rebukes them, saying, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”
The result?
“And they feared exceedingly and said one to another, ‘What manner of man is this, that even the wind and sea obey Him?’ ”
We go from fear to fear. We’re afraid, when God leaves, that the world will crush us. Then when He returns, and we see the extent of His amazing power, we stop fearing the world and fear Him instead. Puny, frightened creatures we are.
We fear both the absence of God and the presence of God. We fear what will happen while He’s gone and what He will do to us upon His return. We are afraid to be away from Him and terrified of walking with Him. We long for His presence, assured that His coming will set all things right — and then run like scared rabbits when He tries to move in our churches, or our lives.
We can’t live without Him, and we can’t live with Him.
What is this safe distance we seek in ritual, tradition, the priesthood, the hierarchy, but a manifestation of our fears? John said, that in Him there is no fear, for perfect love casts out fear. We are like the Israelites, who said to Moses, “Speak thou with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us — lest we die.”
We cling to the Old Testament types of the Sabbath and the tithe because they limit our obligations — and our contact — with God almighty. We embrace the priesthood and the ritual for the same reason.
Derek Webb has a song called A New Law that expresses it quite well.
Don’t teach me about politics and government; just tell me who to vote for
Don’t teach me about truth and beauty; just label my music
Don’t teach me how to live like a free man
Just give me a new law
I don’t wanna know if the answers aren’t easy
So just bring it down from the mountain to me
I want a new law . . .
Don’t teach me about moderation and liberty; I prefer a shot of grape juice
Don’t teach me about loving my enemies
Don’t teach me how to listen to the Spirit
Just give me a new law . . .
What’s the use in trading a law you can never keep
For one you can — that cannot get you anything
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid . . .
Advent Devotional — Friday, December 7
Friday, December 7, 2007
“Lo, how a rose e’er blooming
From tender stem hath sprung!
Of Jesse’s lineage coming,
As men of old have sung.
It came a floweret bright,
Amid the cold of winter,
When half-spent was the night.” (Lo, How A Rose, 15th century German carol; part of a reading from the Vespers Office in The Divine Hours)
Jesus as a rose; it is a decidedly non-Scriptural thought, but worthwhile. The passage to which the hymn alludes is, of course, Isaiah 11:1: “A shoot shall come out from the stump of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of his roots.” The idea is that the line of David, long since considered dead, would again gain life in a coming king, a king we Christians understand to be Jesus. Of course, Jesus is depicted as a young shoot which will grow into a strong tree, noble and majestic, even more so than the stump which preceded it.
And yet those 15th century German Catholics (Christians were all Catholics then) took this verse and made Jesus not a strong tree, but a tender, beautiful rose. Not a sapling rising up from a dead stump, but a gentle, defiant rose poking through the snow in the dead of winter, even in the middle of the night. As I say, the image is not Scriptural, at least not exactly. But I think it is an important image nonetheless. In a way, they are quite similar; each points to Jesus embodying life even in the midst of death all around him. Both dead tree stumps and long German winters are inhospitable to life, and both saplings and roses point to life in the midst of such inhospitality.
But I think the analogy of the rose is an important one because it is beautiful, and if I may say it, feminine in a sense. Often, we characterize Jesus’ life and mission in stereotypically masculine terms: conquering death and hell, vanquishing demons, achieving our salvation and rescuing His people. Yet Jesus’ life was more than a contest won, more than a task accomplished.
His was also a life that embodied beauty. Can we not say that the Christian life is the most beautiful life there is? Can we not say that the Christian vision of a life rightly lived, using the gifts He has given us for His sake and the sake of the world, is not just effective but also beautiful? Was not His self-sacrifice on our behalf not only justifying but beautiful?
Christ came to do more than the simple accomplishments of tasks that needed to be done; He came to embody this beautiful life and to allow us to enter into it more fully than we ever could on our own. For that we need more than a utilitarian tree; we need a beautiful Rose.
Quote of the Day, 12/7/07
“With confidence in our armed forces — with the unbounding determination of our people — we will gain the inevitable triumph – so help us God.” — F. Roosevelt
This Week’s Chick Tract
©1984-2007 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody). |
Advent Devotional — Thursday, December 6
Thursday, December 6, 2007
“But there is one thing, my dear friends, which you must never forget: the Day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then with a roar the sky will vanish, the elements will catch fire and melt away, the earth and all it contains will be burned up.” (2 Peter 3:8, 10, part of a reading in the Midday Prayer in The Divine Hours)
Peter wrote to a congregation in crisis. The church had been targeted for whatever reason by a group of teachers espousing false doctrines; Peter wrote to set the church straight and to encourage them to hold fast to the truth.
One of the doctrines these false teachers taught was that Christ was not going to return. One can understand how such a doctrine would make sense to this congregation. Christ had come and gone at least 30 years prior to the writing of this letter, and as the first generation of Christians were dying out, no doubt it was tempting to rethink this vital Christian doctrine and try to make sense of it some other way.
2 Peter argues strongly that Christ will indeed return, and offers another reason for Christ’s delay: that God reckons time differently than we do, as “with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like one day” (3:8). God’s time is not necessarily shorter or longer than ours, it is just different; and it is impossible to predict when Christ will come back. But Peter ramps up the intensity a bit by reminding his listeners to be aware that the Day of the Lord was coming with apocalyptic signs and suddenness. Since the time was impossible to predict, Christians needed to live in a constant state of readiness.
The paradox of Advent is that on one hand, we are awaiting the coming of a helpless baby; on the other, we are awaiting a day in which the sky will vanish and everything will burn up. Whether or not we take the passage literally, the point is clear: the coming Day of the Lord will be a day of tremendous apocalyptic upheaval in which nothing will be left untouched. This seems far removed from the pastoral scenes that decorate our Christmas cards.
This paradox is a healthy thing, because it forces us to realize anew that Jesus was no ordinary baby. Here is one destined to cause the rising and falling of many people. Here, in the stable, is the chief cornerstone of the New Jerusalem; here, in the stable, is the stumbling-block to the Jews and the foolishness to the Gentiles; here, in the stable, is the first-fruits of those who have died; here, in the stable, is the one who will rend the sky and bring forth the Day of the Lord, when we all will stand in His presence, as our advocate and judge.
Joke of the Day, 12/6/07
Did you hear about the talking Jewish Mother doll? You pull the string and it says, “Again with the string!”
Please Do Not Vote For . . .
I’m depressed by the Republican presidential race. For one thing, I’m an arguer, not a salesman, so when I find the biggest problem facing my favored candidate is that many conservatives don’t trust him, I’m stuck. I can’t argue people into trust; all I can do is point out the man’s tremendous competence and his change of heart on certain important issues.
Conservatives and American Christians have this in common — we all talk a lot about spreading our message, but when we finally win someone over, we don’t know what to do with him.
So more than arguing for someone, I find myself arguing against candidates, two specifically. One is Mike Huckabee, the silver-tongued Southern preacher who sees the federal government as a sanctified instrument to carry out any scheme he can dream up. I disagree with him on taxes, on immigration, on federalism, on a gay marriage amendment, on trade, on agriculture subsidies, on regulating private salaries, and for the love of all that’s good, on the federal government trying to tell us we can’t smoke in public or eat fatty food. I agree with him on some of what’s left, but I can’t support an underlying philosophy that begs Washington to run our lives. It’s not safe and it’s not right.
Then there’s Huckabee in reverse: Dr. Ron Paul.
Some people should definitely vote for Ron Paul. My friend Ethan, for instance. He’s a committed libertarian who believes drugs should be legalized, seat belt laws should be eliminated, and that the USA Patriot Act violates our civil liberties. He’s wrong on all three counts, I am certain, but he believes these things, he’s consistent in his beliefs, and so Ron Paul is right for him, no doubt. If you’re like Ethan, I’m glad there’s a candidate who says precisely what you’re thinking, even though I will never agree with you.
And as for the rest of you, I get why you like him right now. He has principles and sticks to them! He understands federalism! He respects the Constitution! When he says he would gut the government bureaucracy, we know — we know — he means it with everything in his soul. So I get it, I get it — he’s not a typical politician. He certainly doesn’t have the weaknesses of either Huckabee or Romney.
But I need to tell you some things, very briefly.
1) Ron Paul’s policies would endanger our nation
I put this first because it’s most important. On foreign policy, Ron Paul is an absolute walking nightmare. Immediate withdrawal from Iraq without a thought of the effect on a nation we have a duty to help rebuild. A policy of solitude and “nonintervention” far better suited to the 17th century than the 21st. Opposition to the Patriot Act, based on groundless and foolish worries about privacy that have absolutely no basis in the ACTUAL TEXT OF THE LAW (I know, I read the blasted thing, and got the only A in the dang class).
Even if I agreed with Ron Paul on everything else, these beliefs about how our country should deal with the rest of the world and the threat posed by Islamic terrorists would absolutely prevent me from voting for him. And no, Dr. Paul, we did not invade Iraq on “false pretenses.” Saying otherwise is shameful, and ignoring the success we’ve had over the past six months is ridiculous.
2) Ron Paul’s plans would hurt our economy
There’s no doubt that government is too big for its own good. But the answer is not to abolish the IRS and the Federal Reserve (let alone the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA). Did the good doctor treat headaches with brain surgery? Beyond all this, Paul also wishes to return us in some fashion to the gold standard, which would artificially cap the total value of our nation’s economy based on how much of a certain really pretty rock we manage to dig out of the ground.
But meanwhile, our economy continues to grow! Inflation and unemployment have both remained historically low for a very long time. Hundreds of thousands of jobs are being created each month. So, hey, let’s elect the guy who wants to bring us back to the good old days! Er, wait…
3) Ron Paul’s philosophy is wrong
Much is made of Ron Paul’s commitment not to vote for any bill that is not explicitly authorized by the Constitution. I appreciate this very much (even though I think he has a vastly oversimplified understanding of that document), and I respect his commitment to federalism. But I do not and cannot support libertarianism as a philosophy.
My faith and my experience bring me to the conclusion that individual freedom should never be the single guiding star of our existence, and this means that I feel it is both appropriate and right for government to, for instance, outlaw prostitution, ban certain drugs, and set speed limits. Ron Paul does not. I don’t believe juries should be able to change the law as they see fit, or that we are drifting into a totalitarian state. Ron Paul does. Clearly I cannot vote for him.
So if you believe in libertarianism, give Paul your vote with gleeful abandon. But if you’re just a regular conservative who’s fed up with a bunch of politicians you don’t think you can trust, I urge you: please rethink supporting Ron Paul. There’s someone better for you, and for America, out there.
And, by the way — the same goes for Huckabee. Double.
Battle of the Bands XXXVIII
Moving on is Everyknee! The next contestants are below, from Romans 15 and 16.
Bible Discussion — Romans 15/16
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next two chapters in the book of Romans, Romans 15-16.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
And the book of Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6
Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I) | Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13| Ch. 14
INTRODUCTION:
David:
The last two chapters of Romans are filled with last-minute admonitions and personal greetings, along with some interesting nuggets.
MC-B:
Paul’s best instruction manual to believers concludes with another reminder to serve one another, build each other up, and listen to what is good.
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
David:
In 16:26, the phrase “the scriptures of the prophets.” It’s significant that a New Testament writer testified that what the prophets wrote was scripture.
Steve:
Paul describes intercessory prayer as “striv[ing] together with him” in his work.
Chloe:
In verse 27, is Paul saying the Gentiles owe the Jews money because the Jews shared their spiritual blessing?
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
MC-B: Holy Kiss
David: Lucius and Jason, Erastus the Chamberlain
Chloe: Hindered, The Gentiles
Steve: Brother Quartus, Strive
The Dragon Tree
In a place called Clissold Park in North London, where dogs run without leashes and babies learn to walk, off the path and far into the cold emerald grass, there is a dragon, cursed by an English witch hundreds of years ago to be eternally rooted in the ground, to pay for transgressions long since forgotten.
The dragon is mossy green with age, and ribbons of bark twist around his huge serpent-like branches. His coils stretch far and low, curling like arabesques in stone cathedrals, and reaching out to those who happen by him. At first glance it is impossible to tell whether he is inviting people to take refuge under his canopy or clawing the sky, writing in agony with the wind.
I have only ever seen the dragon in the winter, when the leaves have all fallen and he looks ragged and lost, like nature put far too much work into one side and forgot about the other. His branches lie at the height of my shoulder, five feet from the ground, and I can wrap my arms around them as if I were holding a horse’s strong, muscular neck, and feel the strange warmth in the tree’s core, the flame of his breath that has yet to burn out. He is a climbing tree, and a limber person could clamber all the way to the top branches to view St. Paul’s and the Gherkin defining London’s horizon, or simply settle in the cleft of a low-hanging branch and write verse or read old novels.
When I first discovered the dragon, I couldn’t tell if he was writhing or beckoning, whether the warmth in his branches was from the burn of fighting muscles or the comfort he exuded. I couldn’t decide whether the holes in his trunk and the creeping moss were conquerors or companions. Perhaps, I thought, he was a content and wise old tree — or perhaps an embittered dragon biding his time, waiting to break free.
Whatever the case, I took on impulse the invitation to recline where the trunk had split at the base so that another gently sloping trunk had grown out of the ground. I accepted the proffered place to sit and muse, to lie back and tell him my thoughts on God and nature, on my fellow man and our history.
During these long afternoons, the dragon taught me things he had learned throughout his centuries in the ground. He described to me the great people who took their first steps within his circumference, the heinous crimes committed beneath his branches, and the everyday commonalities that taught him the most about humanity. He taught me that men search for God in whatever they can, be it mountains or oceans, stars or suns, or trees that reach out to touch people, to brush their shoulders and say, “Come, I have much to tell you.”
The dragon taught me that, as great as nature is, and as much as it can fill me with awe, the Creator is still greater. He taught me that I too must learn patience and discernment if I will be wise like the dragon. He taught how the world will go on after I have passed away and time has swallowed my memory, how I am so undeniably small.
There is a dragon in Clissold Park in North London. I have never hugged, never loved, never learned from a dragon before. But the dragon in Clissold Park, cursed by a good British witch, has learned much in his years in the ground, sedentary and silent but for the wind. He has learned that when one’s movement is measured in decades rather than seconds, one must calculate each choice carefully: that choosing to writhe is choosing to writhe for an eternity, and choosing to beckon is choosing to listen and teach forever. And he learned that though each small movement will make its impression on his form, only the results of centuries will be remembered.
Advent Devotional — Wednesday, December 5
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
“Cease doing evil. Learn to do good, search for justice, discipline the violent, be just to the orphan, plead for the widow.” (Isaiah 1:16b-17, part of the Midday Reading in The Divine Hours)
Isaiah here gives us quite a difficult to-do list. In the context of a passage where God has grown tired of his people’s offering, what Isaiah is essentially asking us to do is to repent, to re-orient our lives — and this is done through active steps of discipleship.
Our Christian subculture assures us that the important thing is what we believe, not what we do. Check the bumper stickers at your local Christian book store: “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven.” “No Jesus-no peace. Know Jesus-know peace.” And these are true as far as they go. But here Isaiah makes the point that what makes our worship acceptable to God is also a matter of what we do. It is a matter of ceasing one way of life and beginning another. It is about knowing goodness and justice rather than self-aggrandizement. It is about caring for the weak in society (the widows and the orphans) and about the violent (notice the command to “discipline” rather than “punish” the violent).
John the Baptist took all this one step further: “Repent,” he said, “for the Kingdom of God is at hand.” God is coming and if you want to be able to stand in his presence — if you want this to be good news instead of bad news — you will need to purify your lives. You will need to take on certain practices, and you will need to let some dear things go.
During Advent, the call is the same: God is coming! And for much of the world this is a threatening truth. The story of Santa and the elves provides a non-threatening alternative to the story of the coming of God into the world. Santa doesn’t demand much except a passable week of good behavior close to Christmas; but God sees through our souls with the Creator’s eye and longs for us to live up to the capabilities with which he created us.
In order for the coming of the baby Jesus to be good news and not bad news for us, we too have to re-orient our lives. It will mean thinking of ourselves as owned by and submissive to God, as opposed to the freedom-loving autonomous moral agents most Americans conceive themselves to be. It will mean thinking of the world as a holy, flawed place, as opposed to the romantic ideas of nature harbored by some, and as opposed to the unimportance placed on the world by others.
But even more than thinking differently, it will mean acting differently. It will mean decisively leaving behind old practices and embracing new ones, knowing that if we can get our hands and feet to act differently, our hearts and minds will catch up.
Quote of the Day, 12/5/07
“How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, his precepts! O!, ’tis easier to keep holidays than commandments.” — B. Franklin
Football Results (Week Thirteen)
This year, the Bweinh!tributors shall compete each week by proxy on the mighty gridiron!
The thirteenth week’s results
Buffalo def. Washington; Pittsburgh def. Cincinnati; Denver def. Oakland
Indianapolis def. Jacksonville; St. Louis def. Atlanta
| Bweinh!tributor | This Week | Overall | GB | |||
| Djere; Tom | 3-2 | 46-19 | — | |||
| Mike | 4-1 | 41-14 | — | |||
| Josh | 1-0 | 41-15 | 0.5 | |||
| Steve | 4-1 | 45-20 | 1 | |||
| MC-B | 3-2 | 42-23 | 4 | |||
| Connie | 1-4 | 41-24 | 5 | |||
| David | 3-2 | 38-27 | 8 | |||
| Erin | 2-3 | 27-18 | 9 |
By category
Avid fans: 139-57 (.709)
Slight fans: 84-46 (.646)
Uninterested: 183-117 (.610)
Boaz Bloom and Tumble-Down Row, Part Six
The last of the Best of Job, continued. Lost? Read part one, part two, part three, part four, and part five!
Tumbledown Row and I were through. Back to Dean’s truckbed and talk of the Kansas City Royals. I drove the Buick up on the highway one day to see the spot for myself. It was marked with a few flowers and if you could understand Chap and Boaz’s route at all, you would be mystified by the spot. It made zero sense. The bus driver said he came out of nowhere on his bike. Thought he was a deer at first.
Made me miserable. Made the town miserable. I missed my friend.
The weeks passed pretty quickly. I left the sawmill having saved up more money than could really be spent in Chap, and set my sights on getting the house ready for the realtors to take over. I elected to seal the basement myself (we’re a capable lot, we Theins) and just get back east as soon as possible. I was down at the hardware store buying the sealant (heavy stuff, dontchaknow?) when I overheard a man speaking with Rick, the store manager, about aerial surveying being done by helicopter for the government.
“Might be gopher burrows,” Rick told him as they looked at pictures strewn over the counter.
“I thought of that,” the man said, between long sips of coffee. “But look, it’s too straight in places. Are there old lead pipes in those hills?”
“Lead pipes? Nonono… there’s nothing in those hills except for gophers maybe. Well, maybe this one…” Rick hunched down further over the photos. “This one runs up through Tumbledown Row…that might be pipes or something.”
“Tumbledown Row?” the government man asked, adjusting his cap and smiling a little.
“Yeah, just a series of old houses, destroyed by a tornado way back.”
“Earthquake,” his wife corrected him, hunting flies above the stove.
“Right,” he said absentmindedly, still focused on the pictures.
I edged closer to the photos and inspected them, curious to see the Row from the air. The visitor stepped aside willingly. I could see the Row all right — my stoop and the old well — and I could also see the anomaly he was curious about. From the air it looked almost silver-colored, cut into the hillside in definite patterns.
It hit me, and I said it as soon as I realized it — “Boaz’s path!”
I looked up, pressed my finger into the photo. “That’s Boaz’s path.” Rick’s wife was at my shoulder. “You’re right…look, Rick. This is where he finished the day by the IGA.”
We confirmed by the other photos.
“Boaz? I don’t….” the surveyor interjected. Rick’s wife sighed and told him the story with some sadness, but I noted a lot of pride as well, as she told of his funny patterns and interesting relationships in town. I felt some privilege welling up inside me as well.
The government man smiled. He wasn’t from around here, I could tell. He was a little suspicious.
“Those are some pretty interesting paths to take on a bike…daily.”
“Boaz was interesting,” Rick said defensively. “Daily.”
I saw the man later on the hillside inspecting the trails personally. He must’ve been truly mystified and I can’t blame him. I would’ve been too, if I hadn’t met Boaz.
–TO BE CONTINUED–
Advent Devotional — Tuesday, December 4
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
“The days are coming — declares Yahweh — when the plowman will tread on the heels of the reaper and the treader of grapes on the heels of the sower of seed, and the mountains will run with new wine and the hills all flow with it. I shall restore the fortunes of my people Israel; they will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them, they will plant vineyards and drink their wine, they will lay out gardens and eat their produce. And I shall plant them in their own soil and they will never be uprooted again from the country which I have given them, declares Yahweh, your God.” (Amos 9:13-15, reading from the Midday Office in The Divine Hours)
Often, we picture eternity of the Lord as a time of total rest. That certainly is one picture of heaven that we get in the Scriptures. This is quite another picture. Here, the day of the Lord is pictured as a day, not of rest, but of incredibly fruitful work. The ground is so fertile that the minute the grapes are picked, someone comes through to plow the land to prepare the next crop; the minute the grapes are sown, someone is coming along to pick and stomp them for the new wine. People rebuild cities, not like today’s cities, but cities where people will own their land and have a connection to it, growing their own food and their own wine. In all, Amos pictures a people rooted in a country given them by God, working the precious gift of the land and always seeing a reward for their labors.
This is one of the busiest times of the year for a pastor. The season causes all sorts of pastoral issues for people, ranging from the first holidays without loved ones to Seasonal Affective Disorder because of the short periods of daylight. There are services to get together, bulletins to print, sermons to write, parties to attend, and the list goes on. Most frustrating is when I feel that I’m barely keeping all the balls in the air, doing everything but not able to do it as well as I’d like.
The vision that keeps me going through this time is the thought of vacation at Christmas time. After the last service Christmas Eve, we buy take-outs at the Exton Diner (a yearly tradition for us) and eat at about 10:30 at night. We get up Christmas morning and suddenly there are no responsibilities. We join my parents for Christmas dinner and then sometime in the next couple days we usually make a pilgrimage to western New York to spend time with Jill’s family until after the New Year. Then I am rested and rejuvenated for the next season of the year. Often, we think of the Christian life in this way — a season of work here on earth to be followed by rest in heaven.
But I’m not sure I’d want that kind of heaven. Haven’t you known a time on earth here where your work was so meaningful, so right? Haven’t you known a time when you were working and saw the fruits of your labor right in front of you? I have. There are times when I preach and the words flow off my tongue and right into the hearts of people who need to hear it, and I know they receive it because they tell me so. In those moments there is nothing I would rather be doing than working, than practicing the craft that God has given me to practice. And I’m sure that as it is for preachers, so it is for bakers and salesmen and writers and accountants.
The point of Advent is to look forward to the Day of the Lord, which came in Jesus and is coming again some day. As we await Jesus, let’s not simply await rest, though we need it; let’s look forward to a day when our work will be fruitful and meaningful.
Joke of the Day, 12/4/07
An Irishman walked into a bar. “What’s the quickest way to get to Dublin?,” he asked.
The bartender scratched his head. “Are you walking or driving?”
“Driving,” the man said.
The bartender nodded. “Well, that’s the quickest way.”
New Dan Brown Novel Asserts Jesus was Just Feeding His ‘Network’
In a controversial follow-up to the best-selling The Da Vinci Code, author Dan Brown will assert that Jesus Christ was merely “feeding His network” when he reportedly fed 5,000 people at one time in Galilee, circa 30 A.D.
Brown recently appeared on Larry King Live to discuss his new book, Jesus Crisis, and Brown’s main theory that Jesus was a loyal Verizon Wireless customer who would have been a challenge to the network, requiring them to traverse rough terrain and savage deserts. Having to feed His network would’ve logically been a subsequent trial.
Brown pointed to the passage in Matthew 14 where Jesus was said to feed 5,000 with just a few loaves of bread and two fish, then noted that just a chapter later, Jesus fed only 4,000. “Obviously,” Brown told King, “He was in a place with poorer reception.”
The new book also alludes to the “Bill of Turin,” which apparently shows incontrovertibly that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a “family plan.”
The Council’s Ruling — The Christmas Season
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — When does the Christmas season begin?
Tom delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Erin, Connie, and Josh:
The day after Thanksgiving leaves a Yuletide window of about a month, plenty of time to reflect on the season and the joy of giving.
MC-B concurs in the result, joined by Mike:
The day after Thanksgiving when Black Friday kicks off the unnecessary consumerism characteristic of the modern Christmas spirit. Happy birthday, Jesus!
Steve dissents, joined by Djere and Chloe:
The Christmas season doesn’t truly start until two weeks prior; lights and trees go up and it all becomes real. Any earlier and you’re just fooling yourself.
David dissents:
November 1.
Job played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next week: What is the most dangerous animal/creature?
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Easiest Jobs
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by whichever ridiculously incompetent company is responsible for me STILL not having Internet access in my apartment. I cannot wait to identify them by name.
| Rank | Job | Points | ||
| 1. | Food Taster | 12 | ||
| 2. | Gym Teacher | 9 | ||
| 3-4 (tie) | Pro Golfer; Wine Taster/Sommelier | 6 | ||
| 5-11 (tie) | Church Secretary; Voice Actor; Mattress Tester; Preschool Teacher; Gofer; Receptionist; Video Game Tester | 5 | ||
| Other | Paperboy; Sidekick; Security Guard; Actor; Librarian; Child Care Worker; Hospital Pharmacist; Pizza Deliveryman; Front Desk at Dorm; Politician; Mall Kiosk; Bank President; CEO; Google Employee; Salesman; Manicurist; Truck Driver; Mystery Shopper; Professor | 1-4 |
Advent Devotional — Monday, December 3
Monday, December 3, 2007
“Listen now, House of David: are you not satisfied with trying human patience that you should try God’s patience too? The Lord will give you a sign in any case: It is this: the young woman is with child and will give birth to a son whom she will call Immanuel. On curds and honey he will feed until he knows how to refuse the bad and choose the good.” (Isaiah 7:13-15, a reading from the Midday Prayer in The Divine Hours)
Traditional Christian interpretation has held that this passage is a Messianic prophecy, that the child named Immanuel, to whom we are to look forward, is indeed Jesus himself. Despite historical criticism that looks for another figure closer to Isaiah’s day to fulfill this saying, this meaning has persevered. Today, many Christian scholars take the approach that this saying may well be double-layered: it may refer to a person in Isaiah’s day as well as to Christ, in some mystical way.
This double meaning makes a lot of sense when we look at our lives. “Immanuel” means, of course, “God with us.” And whatever the exact nature of this prophecy, the Christian is able to say with confidence that, in Jesus, God is with us to the full. And yet there are innumerable other ways in which our lives hint at God’s presence each day: in the dying of the earth in the fall and its rising in the spring; in the presence of a mother at a cradle; in the presence of a daughter at a death-bed; and primarily in the word of Scripture rightly read or proclaimed. Yet none of these hints of God’s presence takes away from the fullest expression of God’s presence among us through Jesus. In fact, all of these hints gain fuller meaning when we see them in light of Christ; in fact, these hints can even point us to Jesus and the fullness of God’s presence with us.
This season is a particularly fruitful season to look for those hints of God’s presence. A selfish world suddenly turns (at least partly) generous; themes of family, hospitality, and giving resound with this time of year. May God use these hints to point you to the fullness of his presence through a relationship with his Son.
Quote of the Day, 12/3/07
“Freedom must constantly be won over for the cause of good. Free assent to the good never exists simply by itself. If there were structures which could irrevocably guarantee a determined — good — state of the world, man’s freedom would be denied, and hence they would not be good structures at all.” — Pope Benedict XVI
Advent Devotional — Sunday, December 2
Sunday, December 2, 2007
“Restore us, O God of hosts; show the light of your countenance, and we shall be saved.” (Psalm 80:3; part of the Vespers Psalm, in the Vespers Reading, p. 6)
Part of the reason Advent and Christmas speak so profoundly to our spirits is the fact that they echo the eternal battle between darkness and light. In many of the world’s religions, darkness is a metaphor for confusion, chaos or sinfulness, while light is a metaphor for viewing the world rightly, in order, in holiness. Christianity is no exception. Throughout the Gospel of John, for instance, we read about the struggle between darkness and light, starting in the very first chapter: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it” (John 1:5). In this verse, Jesus is described as the light, the very embodiment of holiness and wisdom, the one the darkness can not overcome.
This verse from Psalm 80 is a profound statement. It is written from the perspective of a person who is being severely tested. In the words of verse 6, “You have made us the derision of our neighbors, and our enemies laugh us to scorn.” It is certainly more severe testing than most of us have ever known; it is a psalm written from deep darkness. The writer’s nation is the laughingstock of the known world, and daily people fear for their lives.
In the midst of a life like that, it takes great faith to say, “Show us just the light of your face, and we shall be saved.” We have a hard time saying it even in our little trials! We beg God for solutions we can see: a windfall of unexpected money, a negative test result from the doctor, a letter of acceptance from the grad school. We often need these resolutions to prop up our failing faith.
And yet it is not the resolutions of difficulties that save us. Only the presence of God can save us; only the light of God’s countenance can cut through the darkness. What we need, though often we cannot express it, is not money, health or acceptance. What we need is the light of His countenance more than any of these things.
What will come at Christmas in your life is anybody’s guess. You may have a Christmas straight out of a Currier & Ives scene: the whole family gathered, a great feast on the table, three inches of snow on the ground and more falling, even a couple of Clydesdales outside. Or circumstances may force you to spend the holiday alone, watching re-runs, eating instant noodles in a dark, lonely family room. You may even spend it with a sick relative. Who knows?
But what makes Christmas special, and amazing, is not the fact everything is just so. It is the fact that the light of Christ is cutting its way through the darkness. And darkness has no answer for the light which is to come.
But for now, during Advent, we symbolically enter the darkness, and wait. And our heart’s cry, “Show us the light of your countenance, and we shall be saved,” is a cry heard in heaven.
Does your branch of Christianity celebrate Advent? What does it mean in your tradition? Is it, as suggested here, a symbolic entrance to the darkness in order to wait anew for the light? If so, I hope this devotional is a good guide on the way. If not, welcome to the darkness! Maybe these devotions can make this Advent a time of reflection for you in a way the season has not been before.
Advent Devotional — Introduction
Each day from Sunday, December 2 until Tuesday, December 25, Pastor Mike will share with Bweinh! a special Advent devotional!
One of the things I have come to realize as a young man is the power of rituals. The process of repeating the same behavior again and again — sometimes “meaning it,” sometimes not — often has the effect of putting new layers of meaning into those actions. So a school fight song ceases to be simply a collection of syllables and notes but causes memories and friendships long dead to flood back. Or seeing a baseball game makes one nostalgic for youth, and time spent at the ballpark. Or even finding a rerun of a beloved TV show brings back the family and friends with whom you used to watch it.
Most American churches are long on inventiveness and short on ritual. “Ritual” has a bad connotation, meaning something empty and not heartfelt. We relentlessly invent new ways of doing church, new songs to sing, new prayers to pray, new approaches to preaching. We design contemporary, clean churches that self-consciously resemble office parks. But in so doing, we forget the simple power of repetition in rituals. Change in a human being is rarely like dynamite blasting away rock; more often it is like the slow erosion of water on that rock, gradually shaping and smoothing the rock into something different. It is that type of change–gradual but no less real–that ritual is designed to work in us.
All this is to say that as a kid, I grew up loving Christmas. It was the one time of year when a good evangelical Protestant boy could experience all the ritual he could handle! At Christmas, everything was a ritual — the Christmas Eve service, the kinds of cookies my mother baked, the reading of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, the food on the table Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; all these were rituals. Even new Christmas behaviors were evaluated on whether or not they’d make for good rituals. A new TV Christmas special, for instance, was judged on whether or not it was worthy of being part of the tradition, like Rudolph and Frosty, or whether it was fly-by-night and would be ditched next year. Having grown up in a culture that did not ritualize easily, Christmas was a breath of fresh air.
It is with this in mind that I present to you this daily Advent devotional. It is my sixth (!) such effort since becoming the pastor at Exton in 2002; I suppose that just writing these is becoming another Christmas ritual for me! Regardless, I hope that it builds in you a desire to make this a ritual: a time spent with the Lord each day during Advent. I know there will be some days you feel like it, and some you don’t. There will be some days you reach the end of the devotion and feel that the text or my reflection has spoken directly to your soul, and there will be some days you wonder why on earth I’ve chosen what I’ve chosen or written what I’ve written. I hope you enjoy and appreciate the days that touch you, and I hope you keep with it after a day which does not seem particularly meaningful, so that God can shape you with the power of ritual.
This devotional can be used in one of two ways:
1. Use it on its own. Just read the text printed for the day, and the reflection.
2. As part of a larger daily process of prayer. Those of you who know me well know that I find prayer books very useful. They help to keep my prayer life structured. One book that I have used is The Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle. This book has four short times of prayer, written out, for you to repeat out loud or silently each day: in the morning, midday, evening, and before retiring. It is actually a three-volume set that covers the whole year. However, the author has also released just the Advent and Christmas season in a little paperback called Christmastide.
Each of my daily reflections will be taken from a piece of the prayers printed there. So if you want to join me in a deeply prayerful Advent, pick up the book and use it for your personal devotions and use this set of reflections to amplify the process of prayer there. (If you prefer, The Divine Hours are printed online each day here.
I hope this little book of reflections helps you in reflecting on the greatest gift of God — his Son!
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