Life

March 14, 2008, 2:30 pm; posted by Steve
Filed under Articles, Featured, Steve | 1 Comment

— I —

Back from yet another double-digit drubbing on the indoor soccer field. I toss my things, dejectedly, on the floor toward a bag of unclean laundry. My coat and shoes, I leave by the door for easy access in the morning. No one worries about appearances. I do not worry about pretense.

A few minutes pass. Closing the computer, I head to the shower. There is no wait. The sweat and soreness from the evening’s drive and the night’s efforts disappear, replaced by the warmth of the refreshing, relaxing stream. I remember C.S. Lewis, as a demon in The Screwtape Letters, writing of the sheer (to him, repellent) joy that humans received from just such an experience, and I laugh out loud, in grateful thanks to God.

No one thinks my laughter strange. For no one hears.

Later, I let myself sink down onto the textured tub floor as the water softly patters down from above. I remain as long as I like, without an interrupting knock to break the reverie.

I am, blissfully, free.

— II —

Back from another day of work, at a desk, facing a computer, I toss my things onto the floor at the foot of my bed. I open another computer. I turn on a television. No one is there, to go on a walk with, to talk to, to see.

A few hours pass. I communicate on the computer, the telephone; I shuffle back and forth between the bed and the kitchen and the bathroom, a well-worn path of life processes. I remember the lists of things I really ought to do, I need to do — yet I choose not to do. No one is there to encourage, to help or to be helped.

I speak only in anger, at my lazy computer. No one hears.

Later, I fall asleep too late, wasting the final hour half-watching an irrelevant sport while I loop through the same four websites. I remain awake as long as I like, without edifying distraction from another living soul.

I am, unhappily, free.

— III —

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My fortress; I shall not be shaken.

“On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.” (ESV)

Life

Comments

What's New

Email Us

Archives

Bweinh! Staff

Our Sites

Sites We Like