The Best of the Jokes (July through November)

March 6, 2008, 7:00 am; posted by
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July 18, 2007: A lawyer was painting his house when a hobo came by and asked if there was anything he could do to earn a few dollars.

“Sure,” the lawyer said. “Take this can of paint, go around the back of the house and paint my porch.”

The hobo did it, and 15 minutes later, he came back and said he was finished. “Already?,” the lawyer asked.

The hobo said, “Yeah, but it’s not a Porsche, it’s a Mercedes!”

August 7, 2007: President Bush was being briefed on the war by his staff. “Last night three Brazilian soldiers were killed,” they told him.

“Oh no!! That’s terrible!,” he exclaimed.

His staff was surprised at the outburst of emotion and waited as he sat, cradling his head in his hands.

Finally he looked up. “How many are in a brazillion?”

September 10, 2007: A blind guy on a barstool yells out, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a loud voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blond and the bouncer is blond. I’m a 6′ tall, 200-pound black belt, plus the guy next to me is 6’2″, 225, and a rugby player. Oh, and the fella to your right is 6’5″, pushing 300, and a wrestler. And each and every one of us is blond. Think about it, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah: not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

November 5, 2007: There’s a drummer and a piano player in a car. Who’s driving?

The policeman.


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