The Best of the Jokes (March through June)

March 4, 2008, 7:00 am; posted by
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March 30, 2007: Two Baptist ministers were talking about the immorality of the country today.

One of them said to the other, “I’ll tell you one thing — I sure didn’t sleep with my wife before we were married! How about you?”

And the other says, “Well, I don’t know — what was her maiden name?”

—

May 17, 2007: Two hunters were out in the woods when one of them fell to the ground. He didn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes rolled back in his head, so the other guy whipped out his cell phone and called 911.

“My friend is dead!,” he gasped. “What can I do?”

The operator replies, “Take it easy, I can help. First, you’d better make sure he’s dead.”

There were a few seconds of silence, then two shots.

“OK, now what?”

—

June 20, 2007: It was the last day of school and the children had lined up to deliver their gifts to the teacher. First came the florist’s son with a bouquet of flowers. Next was the daughter of the candy store owner, with a neatly wrapped box in the shape of a heart.

Then the liquor store owner’s son brought up a large box and set it on the teacher’s desk. She noticed it was leaking on the side, so she touched a drop of the liquid and brought it to her mouth. “Is it wine?,” she guessed.

“Nope,” said the boy.

She tasted another drop. “Champagne?”

“No!”

“I give up,” she said. “What is it?”

“A puppy!”


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