The Most Important Thing

March 17, 2008, 5:22 pm; posted by
Filed under Articles, Featured, Humor, MC-B  | 1 Comment

I was looking for some guidance recently, but couldn’t find my Bible. Luckily for me and for the rest of you who are lost and seeking answers, there’s Google. Having successfully completed a comprehensive search of what the internet considers “the most important thing to remember,” I am prepared to release my findings to the world.

Here are ten of the things that the Internet thinks are the most important thing to remember, each nugget blossoming with wisdom in its own right, as nuggets are wont to do:

–You simply cannot go wrong with flowers.

–You do not need to learn to throw the Frisbee very far.

–You must be able to carry your own luggage.

–Anyone who has accomplished more than you has no life, and anyone who has accomplished less than you is a noob.

–Swim only when and where guards are on duty.

–Never grab a lizard by its tail!

–Buy a collection of toys that will suit a variety of purposes.

–Wine was made to be enjoyed.

–Empty your bladder completely and regularly.

–You’re here to tell the jurors your story.

 

I’m thinking of basing a personal philosophy or small startup cult around these teachings, or at least cobbling together an email chain letter. Please forward this to ten people that you care about and also back to the person who sent it to you, for you are loved. If you do that, your crush will ask you out TODAY!

Also, I’ll show you how to throw a Frisbee really far.


Comments

1 Comment to “The Most Important Thing”

  1. Chloe on March 17th, 2008 10:46 pm

    And God will love you again and put you at the front of His Book of Life. But if you don’t send it, you might as well convert to Satanism because you obvoiusly hate God and want everyone to burn in hell.

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