The Council’s Ruling — Our Next President

April 14, 2008, 10:00 am; posted by
Filed under Council  | No Comments

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — Who will be the next president of the United States?

The council was unable to reach a majority ruling on this issue.
 
Djere offers this opinion, joined by Chloe and Josh:

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

 

MC-B offers this opinion, joined by Connie:

John McCain; neither potential Democratic candidate can match his experience or his appeal to undecideds, and even the unenthusiastic conservative base will turn out just to prevent the other guy from winning.

 

Tom offers this opinion, joined by Djere:

John McCain. Hell hath no fury like a woman run-against-in-a-primary, and, harpy-like, she will irretrievably rend Obama’s chances of election.

 

Steve offers this opinion:

Self-styled prophet of doom Al Gore will sweep in to unite the fractured Democratic party this summer, then outflank a tired John McCain this fall. Woe! Calamity! Horror!

 

David offers this opinion:

Hillary Clinton — for the reasons in my article.

 

Erin offers this opinion:

Jesus. Because, let’s face it, he’s the only one who can do the job.

 

Kaitlin, Mike, and Job played no part in the determination of this issue.

 

Next time: Which animal is most similar to humans?


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