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05/14/2008, 12:00 am -- by Steve | No Comments

{democracy:241}

Joke of the Day, 5/13/08

05/13/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Originally published May 11, 2007.

Three men were traveling through rural America when their car broke down; they sought shelter at a farmhouse.

The farmer had two spare beds in the room next to his daughter’s, but since he had heard all the stories he informed the men that one would have to sleep in the barn. One of them, a polite Indian mathematician, immediately volunteered and went out to the barn. But a short time later there was a knock on the door; the mathematician was there, apologetically explaining there were cows in the barn, and because of his Hindu convictions, he couldn’t sleep there.

A second man, a conservative rabbi, headed out, but in a few minutes there was a knock on the door. Sure enough, he too was back, explaining that since there was a pig in the barn, he would also be quite uncomfortable there.

So the third man, a practicing lawyer, agreeably proceeded out to the barn — but in a little while, there was a knock on the door. They answered, and there were the cows and the pig.

The Council’s Ruling — Santa Claus

05/12/2008, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | 1 Comment

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — What should you tell your children about Santa Claus?

Kaitlin delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Djere, David, and Steve:

That he does not exist. He should be treated like any other fictional character.

David concurs, joined by Tom and Connie:

Treat him as make-believe; when your children learn the truth at some point, they may assume you made up the stuff about Jesus too.

Job dissents, joined by Chloe:

I will tell my kids Santa Claus exists because his essence is one of the few things most Americans have as a shared identity.

Erin dissents:

Go ahead and let them believe for a few years. They’ll get over the moment of truth.

Josh dissents:

He’s a great example of why you shouldn’t eat too many cookies, unless you want a jiggly belly.

MC-B and Mike played no part in the determination of this issue.

Next time: Is graffiti art?

Quote of the Day, 5/12/08

05/12/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.” — J.W. von Goethe

I’ve Got A Mansion?

05/9/2008, 10:00 am -- by David | No Comments

One of the much ballyhooed aspects of Christianity that perplexes me is this notion that when I get to heaven, I will have a mansion waiting for me. Don\’t get me wrong — I know that Jesus Himself said that in his Father’s house were many mansions, and that He was going there to prepare one for me — I just don\’t know what I\’m going to do with it.

If you’re like me (and you\’ll admit it), you have daydreamed at some point abut being rich. You know, winning the lottery, inheriting millions of dollars, inventing some great product or service that makes you a millionaire or billionaire. And part of that, of course, is planning out your mansion. Have you ever had these two trains of thought collide? Have you ever dreamt of what your mansion would be like in heaven? I have, and it\’s perplexing.

I love books, so my earthly mansion is always centered around a great library. Something huge, two floors high, dark wood paneled, and stocked with volume after volume of leather-bound Bible commentaries, exegetics, and first editions by all my favorite authors. If you saw the movie Meet Joe Black, Anthony Hopkins has a similar library. So what\’s the problem? Well, what could I possibly need books for in heaven? I suspect I\’ll know everything I need, or want, to know. Why would I still be interested in the affairs of a sin-sick fallen race? Like Paul said, “Now I know in part; then I shall know, even as I am known.” So, anyway, the library is out.

What about a kitchen? I like to cook. But will I have to cook there? If I have to cook, I\’ll make a mess, and since we aren\’t given in marriage there, abiding like the angels, I\’ll have no wife to help clean! I usually do a lot of that myself anyway, but how would it be heaven if I still have to empty the trash? Wash dishes? Sweep and mop the floor? Wipe down the counters?

And if I need a kitchen, will I need a bathroom? I hope not.

You see where this is going. A game room: you gonna shoot pool in heaven, or play ping-pong? A home theatre: what are you gonna watch in heaven? Certainly not Charlie\’s Angels. How many bedrooms? What would I do with one anyway? Will I even sleep in heaven? It\’s mind-boggling.

As grateful as I am, I just can\’t think of one thing that I would need a mansion for in heaven. I plan on worshipping the Lord, and maybe, if it\’s possible, slipping out for a ride through the cosmos once in a while, to check out the planets, nebulae, comets and asteroid belts. I can\’t think of anything that would compel me to hang around a mansion, washing windows, mowing lawns, waxing floors…

Joke of the Day, 5/9/08

05/9/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor asked him, “Where were you on the night of October to April?”

Quote of the Day, 5/8/08

05/8/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | 1 Comment

“The substance and essence of Christianity, as I understand it, is eternal and unchangeable, and will bear examination forever, but it has been mixed with extraneous ingredients, which I think will not bear examination, and they ought to be separated.” — J. Adams

Best of Bweinh! — Genesis 1-4

05/7/2008, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Every Wednesday, we discuss a passage from the Bible, and this week, we reprint our very first — Genesis chapters 1 through 4.

INTRODUCTION:
Steve:
It seems there’s a widening dichotomy these days between those who read the opening to Genesis as a scientific textbook, and those who see it as an ancient creation myth, on par with the claim that Earth rides on the back of a giant turtle.

I stake a claim between those two positions, believing wholeheartedly in the divine creation of the universe as told in Genesis, while remaining largely unconcerned about specific details undefined by the text. This story was not meant to answer all the scientific and philosophical questions surrounding the origin of the world; if it had been, it would have befuddled all its readers, ancient and modern. What it tells us is enough, and what it tells us is not only perfectly compatible with the discoveries of science, but God’s simple and singular command for light to ‘be’ seems more and more apt as the Big Bang is explained theoretically.

Job:
I’ve always wondered if this springboard to the Bible, these first four chapters, is where most people in their darkest hour flip – having turned to God in anger, frustration, pain or confusion. Subsequently, I’ve always wished that the Gideons would put their “recommended reading” page right between the first and second chapters. An ambush of sorts.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Djere:
2:23 is in poetic form. It’s more than just a quote, Adam notices Eve and just casually says what he does, but he says it in the poetic form.

Tom:
1:11 notes that plants came before animals, an evolutionarily sound idea.

Job:
In the first verse of chapter 3, the serpent is described as being more crafty than any of the wild animals God had made. Am I to think then that God made domesticated animals alongside them for provisional purposes, implying the known need for future sacrifice?

Josh J:
One theory of The Fall is that eating the forbidden fruit represents Adam and Eve discovering their sexuality. The Scriptures rule out this possibility: 1:28 contains a command to “be fruitful and increase in number.” Since there’s only one way, by God’s own design, to accomplish this, human sexuality is actually God-ordained.

Steve:
Some complain the first two chapters of Genesis are incompatible, that the Biblical creation account can’t be true because it’s self-contradictory. But re-reading these chapters, I see it more like the classic structure of a sermon, essay or speech — start off with an overview, then zoom in on the particular point you want to make. The retelling of the creation of man gives more details, not contradictory ones, and it explains a lot.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Tom, Djere: Bdellium
Steve: Tunics of Skin
Job: Vengeance Seven Times Over
Josh J: Surface of the Deep

Continued here!

Best of Bweinh! — Let Them Eat Cake

05/7/2008, 10:00 am -- by Job Tate | No Comments

Originally published March 19, 2007.

When Prohibition swept through 1920s America, the effect was not just limited to the intake of spirits — several major corporations found themselves with, simply, nothing to do. Coors The ones that wanted to survive refocused their factories into other endeavors. Coors made malted milk and ceramics, while Budweiser hawked yeast — brand name and logo intact, but a wholly different product.

I’ve recently begun to engage, rather than ignore, some of the new and provocative literary products of our faith — The Prayer of Jabez, Your Best Life Now, and the Purpose-Driven texts that make up the majority of what modern believers rally behind. When I read some of these works I sense, whether above or below the service, embarrassment toward Christ and His message in light of a world ever more aggressive in its dismissal of that Message.

The writers and ideologues behind some of these works seem to have sensed this change, and seek to re-brand the faith in a style more palatable to our sin-soaked society — as if to apologize for the tension caused by our ‘judgmental’ nature. The name of Jesus is invoked and the cross around the neck remains intact, but the message is horribly neutered — a relativism that adds a carpool lane to our narrow way.

Let me tell you about my home. Vermont, for all her lovely rolling hills, has the unfortunate distinction of being the second-most unchurched state in the nation, with 25% of its population claiming no religion at all. (Oregon is number one; Colorado number three… atheism and poor hygiene must be linked somehow.) Of the remaining 75%, the number of evangelical Christians is staggeringly low, so with the level of combat one sees when preaching the gospel kin to that preached by the saints, a somber mindset sets in. I sense, daily, a mobile and coordinated effort to bring our faith to its knees — not in prayer but in defeat — by intimidating us into an intellectual sterilization of the Truth or the loss of motivation to preach it at all.

Budweiser They want us to change our product.

But in these odd, hard-to-describe times, I’m all about the still. I won’t be selling any yeast like our friends at Budweiser, knowing it leavens the whole lump.

You will find in my message only 200 proof Gospel Truth.

Moonshine and bathtub gin, my friends.

Joke of the Day, 5/7/08

05/7/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

What’s the difference between a musician and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.

Best of Bweinh! — Women In Ministry

05/6/2008, 11:30 am -- by Bweinh | 2 Comments

In this corner, arguing for different ministry roles for men and women, is David!

And in this corner, supporting the ordination and public ministry of women, is Steve!

“I don’t hate women. . . my mother was a woman!” — Mike Tyson

It would be wrong to suppose, just because I am on the opposing side of this issue, that I favor a ban on women in ministry. My first two pastors were women and I have nothing but the utmost respect for the role they played in my early development as a Christian.

I simply think there are unavoidable Biblical statements that must be incorporated into our understanding of what is and isn’t appropriate for how women function in the body of Christ.

In 1 Timothy 2:11-15 we find, to me, the most formidable barrier to a carte blanche approach to women in ministry. Paul mentions subjection, authority and Eve’s role in the Fall of man as all playing a role here. Unless we reject Paul’s words as Scripture, which Peter specifically warned us not to do in 2 Peter 3:15-16, calling them Scripture, I don’t see how we can ignore his statements.

He uses the word subjection (hupostassas), which is also noted in the relationship of men and women in Ephesians, 1 Peter and Colossians, and mainly connotes order as opposed to chaos within an organization. Any attempt to define the separate roles of men and women in the church and family has to take these Scriptures into account.

Is the woman less of a Christian? No. Does she have a different role to play in the church and family? Yes. A role that carries with it submission to male authority? Yes.

In this section Paul says, “I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over a man.” In the Greek the phrase “to teach” is not constructed as a one-time action; it refers to holding the position of “teacher.” The word “teacher” is interpreted elsewhere as “master” (rabboni), and refers to the person who ruled on doctrinal matters in the synagogue and was recognized as its final authority. Paul was not forbidding a women to preach or teach in his assemblies, in my opinion, but rather forbade them from holding that place of authority.

He links this, however uncomfortable it makes us, with the Fall, Adam being “first formed” and Eve being “deceived.” If we need further proof Paul believed there was a lingering judgment on Eve’s descendants, we need only read through verse 15, where he makes the statement, “Nevertheless she shall be saved in childbearing.” What was the punishment bestowed upon Eve for her place in the fall? Pain in childbirth. Paul notes that though there is a lingering judgment that has placed her in subjection to man, judgment will not overcome her. But the judgment still remains.

Paul also told the Galatians, “In Christ there is no male and female,” and this statement is not a contradiction. Man has no favor with God that woman does not have, no special gifts or perks. We just serve in different roles. My boss is not inherently better than me, but he is over me in authority, and I must respect that.

What should a woman do if she is called to preach? Preach with all her heart! Teach? Teach with all her heart! Sing? Sing with all her heart!

But should she be ordained? I do not believe so — but I willingly acknowledge another thread that runs through the Bible. God rejects those who reject him, and uses whomever is faithful, whether or not they meet the requirements of His own scriptural statements.

The culture of Christ’s day treated women as second-class citizens. Jews of that time were known to thank God for not making them “a dog, a Gentile, or a woman,” and almost all ancient men treated their wives, daughters and sisters as mere possessions. The famous trick question of the Sadducees, meant to attack the resurrection, was built on the concept that a woman’s existence — even in Heaven — was primarily defined by which man owned her.

And into that world came Jesus Christ, the living Word of God, who never treated women this way. He spoke, alone, to the Samaritan woman at the well (Jn 4), He visited Mary and Martha at their home, He allowed women to support Him financially (Lk 8), He was lavishly anointed by a woman at dinner (Lk 7). He did not allow a woman caught in adultery to be condemned while her male compatriot got off scot-free (Jn 8); when His disciples fled, the women in His life anointed Him for burial (Lk 23) and first witnessed His resurrection (Mt 28).

Similarly, throughout the Bible, women served in leadership and ministry roles. Deborah led the nation of Israel (Jdg 4-5). Miriam, for all her faults, was a prophetess (Ex 15:20). Priscilla taught and preached with her husband (Ac 18:26), and in Romans 16, Paul sent greetings to many women in the ministry, including deaconess Phoebe and apostle Junia.

Against this powerful model of Christ’s behavior and the normative example of Biblical ministry by women, we have — what? A passage in I Corinthians that, on its face, seems to demand absolute silence from the same women who were just given instructions on proper public prayer, and a passage in I Timothy written to those in Ephesus, a city known for false teachers and the female-dominated Artemis cult.

It is not that these passages are unscriptural, or somehow less important than any of the rest of the Bible. It’s precisely because none of these texts can be ignored that, one way or the other, we must reconcile the contradiction between the repeated use of women in public ministry throughout the Old and New Testaments, and the apparent stark prohibition of such behavior here.

Is it simply that God used women when men were not available? Not so of Miriam, who served with her brother, or Deborah, who ruled Israel alone, while married. It’s not true of the women Paul greeted in Romans, and there’s no suggestion of a divine or universal command in those churches to limit their ministry to certain roles, or to avoid making women the ultimate ‘teacher.’ The only places this is mentioned are Corinth and Ephesus.

Let’s look at those churches. Much of I Corinthians was devoted to order during worship, which (from context) likely had to do with largely uneducated women dressing provocatively and blabbing during church. And like I said, in Ephesus, local women were quite ‘liberated’ in their form of worship. Weighing the evidence from other churches against the history of these two, doesn’t it make more sense that Paul’s words were guidelines for specific situations, rather than universal, normative commands?

I do believe that in general, men and women are called to different roles in the family and church. But God has made us all unique, with different gifts. Not all women have the gift to encourage; not every man can teach. It would be improvident to suggest, based on two passages and the Fall, that we should limit the use — or even the context of the use — of some of God’s gifts to half of His people.

{democracy:44}

Quote of the Day, 5/6/08

05/6/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“Now it is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking nonsense on [scientific] topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn.” — St. Augustine

The Council’s Ruling — Time Machine

05/5/2008, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — Where and when would be your first destination in a time machine?

The council was unable to reach a majority ruling on this issue, although a plurality would travel to the past.

Josh offers this opinion, joined by Job:

The year 2000. I hear they’re going to have flying cars and everything.

Mike offers this opinion, joined by Erin:

To see my parents just before I was born. Haven’t you ever been curious what your parents were like before you came along?

Chloe offers this opinion, joined by David:

I would return to the Grecian Gold Age, where there were democratic city-states, which is the best form of government. And I would hang out with Aristotle.

David offers this opinion, joined by Tom:

San Francisco area in California, 1847. Only I wouldn’t be stupid enough to tell everyone, “Hey! There’s gold over here!”

Kaitlin offers this opinion, joined by Steve:

A few decades into the future — it would be nice to know what’s going to happen, since I spend an awful lot of time trying to figure it out.

Steve offers this opinion, joined by Kaitlin:

The original Resurrection Sunday. Seeing Him first would hopefully keep me from using it for mischief.

Djere offers this opinion:

If I had a time machine, it wouldn’t matter where I went first. I would be everywhere at the same time.

Erin offers this opinion:

Ancient Egypt, during the reign of Hatshepsut . . . because of the fascinating culture, architecture, and people.

Connie offers this opinion:

It’s too much power for me. No thanks.

MC-B played no part in the determination of this issue.

Next time: What should you tell your children about Santa Claus?

Joke of the Day, 5/5/08

05/5/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

What’s the difference between Northern zoos and Southern zoos?

The recipe on the outside of the cage.

A Wedding Blessing

05/2/2008, 12:00 pm -- by David | No Comments

What does it mean to you?
When you find a friend that is true?
Will you count all your treasures less precious than this?
I know two people who do. . .
— Honeytree

I\’m leaving for New York today to see my nephew Djere get married to his sweetheart Karen. It\’s exciting. I have been thinking about it more and more, as the day approaches, and I keep remembering a similar wedding 26 years ago this month when my wife and I were joined together in holy matrimony.

The days leading up to the wedding will be hectic, the day itself crazy. There will be so many things to do, so many people to greet and thank, so many well-wishers extending hands and hugs and hurried words of wisdom or encouragement. So here is my word of wisdom and encouragement, to be taken at leisure when times slow down a little bit.

The quote above is from a song played at our wedding in May 1982. I remember a lot of things about the wedding, but this one song, and this one verse, has stayed with me longer than any other. When I heard the line “Will you count all your treasures less precious than this?,” I remembered a round red tin container, the former home of butter cookies or some such thing, which then held the few treasures I possessed in life.

It held:
(1) REGGIE candy bar wrapper from 1977, when the Yankees were the reigning world champs
(1) ESSO coin/keychain fob that I had found in my coin collecting days
(1) tattered white/gold tassel from my graduation from Jefferson Community College in 1981
(1) bundle of articles I had written while serving a journalism internship at the Watertown Daily Times in spring 1981
(1) bulletin from the retirement service for Pastor Polly, my first pastor after I became a Christian.

It\’s odd the things that make up a man\’s life and dreams at the age of 21. I loved Jesus, sports, antiques, and the dream of being a newspaper reporter. In my mind, the tin and its contents were what I saw when I felt those words bidding me to take all that I had, every dream that I had ever dreamed, every object that I had treasured, and lay them down as meaningless compared to this woman whom I loved — and still love — with all my heart.

Life will be filled with so many complications, disappointments and surprises that I\’m not sure anyone could ever give a newly married man a map to safely navigate it all. But do this: treasure your wife above everything you have; love God; and love your children when they come. As the bondservant said in Exodus 21:5: “I love my master, my wife, and my children. I will forswear my right to be free.”

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