Tag, You’re It!

May 15, 2008, 11:00 am; posted by
Filed under Articles, David, Featured  | 1 Comment

If you are reading this message, it is because I have put you on a list of my very best friends! This message brings with it financial blessings, happiness, and the chance to help those less fortunate than you. If you feel the same way about me, find ten of your best friends and send it to them, to continue this wonderful blessing and financial opportunity.

If, however, I am not one of the ten people that you send it back to, I will know that you do not love me, you are not really a Christian, and (in fact) you have always hated me, your mother and God (not necessarily in that order).

What is more, Proctor & Gamble has agreed that if you forward this message to ten people, they will stop tithing to the Satanic Church, and instead use that money to send food and medicine to needy children overseas. Also, Bill Gates and Microsoft have agreed that if you forward the message to the ten people, and they, in turn, forward it to ten more people too, the company will donate to an offshore account in Nigeria, $1,000 for every 100 forwarded emails.

That money will then be tied up in litigation, once the Barrister handling the funds dies in a plane crash, but don’t fear! His assistant, the Right Honorable M\’bai\’ D\’undooloo Kinsha-Shazz will contact you about how to retrieve your portion (possibly as high as $2,000,000.00) by simply sending him your bank account number, your debit card with PIN, all your blank checks, and any jewelry you have lying around the house.

Remember! You must forward this message to ten people before you shut down your browser, or even use the rest room! Starving children, Nigerian diplomats, and me — your best friend — are all hanging in the balance, and we could be hurt terribly by your indecision.

God bless!


Comments

1 Comment to “Tag, You’re It!”

  1. Rodney Olsen on May 15th, 2008 6:31 pm

    Wow! I always knew I’d be rich one day.

    I’m going to send this one off right away.

    Thanks for being my very best friend, Dale … er … Dan … Dexter … what was your name again?

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