Road Armor Under Investigation
–WASHINGTON, D.C.
The Office of the Attorney General announced today that 
a Texas company is being investigated after their products failed another series of federal safety testing. San Antonio’s ROAD ARMOR, which specializes in marketing protective armor to “at-risk” animals like opossums, once again received the lowest safety rating available.
“This company has repeatedly preyed on these poor animals, promising them a level of protection on today\’s highways that, frankly, they do not and cannot attain,” said spokesman Ronald Fletcher. “It\’s high time someone stood up for these animals, and we are the ones to do it.”
Studies have shown that the use of “armor” by opossums may actually increase fatalities, as many become careless and prone to high-risk behavior such as crossing an interstate at rush hour.
ROAD ARMOR spokesman Lilly Matthews disagreed, pointing to the company’s disclaimer warning animals of the risks and limitations of their product. “Everything that we do is designed to make these little critters safer and happier, and we succeed at that. End of story.”
Clash of the Titans LXXXVIII: Houghton and Point Loma
| In this corner, supporting Point Loma Nazarene University, is Kaitlin! | And in this corner, backing Houghton College, is Job! | |
|
I\’d hate to disparage another school at the expense of my own, so I think I\’ll let Point Loma Nazarene University\’s merits speak for themselves: ”¢ The ocean. No matter where you stand on campus, the long, limitless horizon beckons, reminding you how insignificant you truly are. There\’s no better way to wake up in the morning. And it never grows old ”” stroll through the campus during any given sunset and you\’re bound to find scores of students staring westward, admiring the freshly painted canvas that fills the sky. ”¢ The location. The campus\’s oceanfront property includes beach access; Ocean, Mission, and Pacific Beaches are all within five miles. Downtown San Diego is just as close. Point Loma itself is an affluent peninsula with a small-town feel, giving a feeling of secluded island living while maintaining a comfortable proximity to all that San Diego has to offer. ”¢ The opportunities. All the travel spiels you\’ve heard about San Diego are true. It includes so much ”” Balboa Park, the Embarcadero, the San Diego Opera, playhouses, professional sports teams, and more. As part of a metropolitan area, the school has worked hard to establish a relationship with the community, creating an excellent platform for internships and networking. ”¢ The academics. From the outstanding nursing program to the renowned science department, the school\’s academic departments have few equals in the private Christian university circuit. Class sizes are almost always well below 40. Professors are knowledgeable and accessible, and they approach education thoroughly and rigorously. When I was a prospective student touring the Literature, Journalism, and Modern Languages department, I was impressed with the department head\’s reasoning behind labeling my major as literature. “We don\’t just study literature written in English; we study world literature.” The faculty are on the whole not only experts within their fields, but deeply involved and mindful of their students\’ personal well-being. ”¢ The extracurriculars. The school\’s sports teams consistently rank in the top of their leagues. The intramurals are vibrant and varied, ranging from soccer and basketball to surfing and rugby. The debate team consistently sweeps tournaments. The newspaper provides comprehensive coverage of school and community events every week. The numerous campus ministries devote themselves to the spiritual development of students, the local community, and even further through mission-minded outreaches. ”¢ The programs. The Fermanian Business Center has instituted myriad programs that use a Christian approach to economic concerns, aiming to help people while making inroads in the business world. The Center for Justice and Reconciliation focuses on poverty and inequality. The Study Abroad Center guides students through international programs in whatever countries they would like to visit. ”¢ The events. The school continually draws prominent speakers. Last year alone, the campus hosted Philip Yancey, Francis Collins, Gay Talese, Anchee Min, Jon Foreman, Greg Mortensen, a colloquium of French poets, and the 2008 Kyoto Prize winners. I think Point Loma\’s advantages speak volumes. However, I will add that the library is open from 7 am to midnight, Monday through Friday, a full hour earlier and later than another school that I know of. |
Let us come together, but for a moment, my friends, and speak of heavy things. Truth, most of you reading this possess a college education, and on top of that, most of you were educated at a Christian college. And you know the usual players, do you not? If not, allow me to roll the credits of our shared context. Wheaton, Westmont, Calvin, and Azusa Pacific. Biola, Grove City, Gordon, Nyack, and Messiah. Bethany, Point Loma, Liberty, Houghton. A stellar list, no doubt, but one rife with differences — theologically, financially, ideologically, and geographically. But one of those differences is very telling, and it finds its traction at Houghton College — for Houghton is one of the rare (popular and esteemed) Christian colleges that is not nestled in or near a major metropolitan area. Gordon has Boston, Wheaton has Chicago, and Houghton has… a cornfield. My friend Kaitlin has made a very convincing argument indeed…for a resort. But I think she has forgotten the purpose of a college: education. While I am certain that Point Loma has professors, donors, and sports teams to give off the appearance of an institute of higher learning, the school is really more interested in its beachfront cachet. Their literature and website are filled with (mostly) pictures of San Diego’s trappings, the breaking Pacific and the tanned, smiling faces of the collegiately damned. Rare is the promotional shot of a student pondering anything of educational weight, and rarer still is the shot of anything with four walls surrounding it. Again, Point Loma would make a great summer camp (which it is, all fall, winter and spring), but is it an earnest mecca for the education-hungry, worthy of their pilgrimage? I think not. But ah, Houghton. Remote, yet easy to find (just one exit from the major highway, 14 miles distant), and located in one of the poorest counties east of the Mississippi, Houghton has no city appeal. There are no movie theaters or beaches to frequent. No hotspots, bars, historical sites, or even McDonald’s. Houghton, as a destination, is only worth visiting for its express purpose: educating the young Christians of the future. I cannot sway you with the impossible amounts of fun I had there, but believe me it was had indeed. I cannot convince you of Houghton’s intrinsic and organic properties, although our thorough separation from the world brought them out all the more. I cannot persuade you of Houghton’s lasting impression on all of its students because many, it’s true, couldn’t take it. Many tested the river that is Houghton only to turn back, stomachs in knots, knees scraped against the boulders of trial, serving to warn others from attempting to ford its rapids. But this only makes my time on the other bank that much more fulfilling. I could have attended any number of the Jacob tent-dwelling schools — but I cast my lot with Esau, preferring the brambles and winds of a wilderness in a time that should not make us soft and well-recreated, but rather, hardened and mentally-fit. And all that said — our girls’ basketball team could beat Point Loma’s men’s soccer team. |
Quote of the Day, 8/22/08
“An artist, in giving a concert, should not demand an entrance fee but should ask the public to pay, just before leaving as much as they like. From the sum he would be able to judge what the world thinks of him — and we would have fewer mediocre concerts.” — K. Coleman
Battle of the Bands LXVI
Here’s the next group of band names from Acts — and the first round/semifinals of the Esther playoffs!
Blood Moon moves on…
For Argument’s Sake
Christians love to talk shop. This isn’t alarming; it comes as no surprise, really. Any group of people who find something mutually yoking will almost invariably talk about it to the point of conversational exhaustion.
People of political persuasion will discuss candidates and pithy comments. Skiers talk slopes and are prone to waxing about, well, waxing. And fans of entertainment — TV shows, movies, bands, et al. — spend hours in circular conversation and unaggressive debate.
Christians are no different. Within our faith, we all know, lies an endless and renewable source of discussion on a vast range of subjects. We are encouraged, from an early age, to adopt certain viewpoints, and to be prepared to defend them.
Whether we like to admit it or not, there is a part in every believer that enjoys the exclusivity of Christianity: not in the sense that we enjoy the Faith being so different from the world, but rather that we enjoy having a different point of view for its own sake. We like our unique stances and are occasionally thrilled to run into another believer with differing positions.
The American in us would be sorely disappointed in Christianity if it did not allow us so much room for disagreement, and not just in the easy and obvious denominational breakdowns. I’d like to get under the hood and understand why we make it rain just to jump in the puddles that follow.
Bible Discussion — Acts 3-4
This week, Bweinh.com moves on to the next two chapters of Acts.
PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS:
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14-15 | 16-17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
Esther: 1-2 | 3-5 | 6-8 | 9-10
Acts: 1 | 2
INTRODUCTION:
David:
God pours out His Holy Spirit, and a “notable miracle” happens. By the end of chapter 4, the disciples were asking for miracles to continue to accompany the preaching of the Gospel to the unsaved world as signs and wonders.
Too many Christians today doubt that miracles occur — because they want to use them to entertain the church. That is not what signs and wonders were designed for. Go out and preach to the lost, begin to pray for miracles, and I guarantee you will see them.
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Steve:
It was after Peter’s sermon that the rulers, elders, and teachers came to realize that he and John were “unschooled, ordinary men.” Guess they didn’t like the message.
Connie:
Either the 5000 conversions came as Peter and John were being arrested, or the passage mentions that they were arrested, and then throws in the 5000 conversions as an afterthought. The Sadducees and government officials were lucky those 5000 didn’t turn on them when they took Peter and John away.
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Unschooled
David: Manifest
Steve: Annas and the Sanhedrin
Connie: Nation’s Rage
Joke of the Day, 8/21/08
Why can’t you tell knock-knock jokes to blondes?
They leave to answer the door.
One Hundred Words (30)
Any list of the best Biblical names has to start with Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz, second son of Isaiah, immortalized in chapter 8 of his father’s book. The NKJV translates his name literally as “Speed the Spoil, Hasten the Booty.”
What’s “Hasten the Booty” not a good motto for? It was perfect for a college intramural water polo team, I’ll tell you that.
The strangest thing I ever learned about this name is that Corrie Ten Boom, that brave Dutch woman who saved so many Jews from the Holocaust and survived three months in a German concentration camp, used it for her cat.
–sm
Quote of the Day, 8/20/08
“Poets are never young, in one sense. Their delicate ear hears the far-off whispers of eternity, which coarser souls must travel towards for scores of years before their dull sense is touched by them. A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience.” — O.W. Holmes, Sr.
Legends
Watching CNN, I recently caught the tail end of a spot about a legend — or maybe not a legend — that I originally learned about from Chloe. Any guesses? Am I being too vague?
It was the chupacabra (“goat sucker” in English), apparently captured on video by a few policemen in Cuero, Texas. My initial reaction was to call Chloe, probably wake her up, and shout, “You were right! There is a chupacabra!” into her phone. But I\’m not quite that cruel, and besides, the last chupacabra-ish creature that was found in the Southwest turned out to be a mutant coyote — and this one hasn\’t yet been caught.
The whole thing got me thinking about the importance that legends — myths, folklore, old wives\’ tales — play in any society. I know next to nothing about the origin of the chupacabra legend, nor its significance in society today, but it seems to be lodged rather comfortably in the collective consciousness of the people of the Southwest. Could it be that legends are simply ways that we add spice to our history?
History, a controversial term and topic in and of itself, is never exactly what is related to us. There is always more than one side to a story; as I have read recently, “the right story, the whole story, and the true story are very often not all the same thing.” Legends provide us with an outlet for our creativity, our doubt, and our suspicions that what we perceive with our senses may not be exactly what is real.
To continue the cooking metaphor (which some of you know I am very fond of and almost cannot use without hand gestures), the spice added by legend, whether based in fact or fiction, is essential to create what we are in the present. In world history classes students learn of ”˜creation myths\’ from a variety of cultures. Our fascination with our origins, our surroundings, and the unknown in general has certainly made us adept at creating stories to satisfy it.
While many may dismiss stories, myths, or legends as unworthy of belief, let me remind you that belief in something is not the same as enjoying its color, or savoring the emotion, curiosity, or wonder it conjures. I don\’t believe in Santa Claus, or the giant alligators in New York City sewers, or perhaps even the chupacabra, but theirs is not an arena for belief. It\’s an arena for story.
Joke of the Day, 8/19/08
A pig walked into a bar, ordered 15 beers, and drank them. The bartender asked, “Now would you like to know where the bathroom is?”
“No,” answered the pig. “I’m the little pig that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home.”
The Council’s Ruling — Hardest Job
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — What is the most difficult job?
Job delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Steve, David, Connie, and Chloe:
The Presidency — relatively low pay, no privacy, a professional ceiling, few contemporaries, and, in the end, 10% of them are assassinated.
MC-B concurs, joined by Steve:
President of the United States. The whole world’s eyes are upon you, and just a few missteps can mean Armageddon.
Kaitlin dissents, joined by Erin:
Childcare. Taking the place of a parent, even for a short time, is incredibly difficult, and the compensation is never adequate.
Djere dissents, joined by Tom:
Defense attorney at The Hague. Defending war criminals has got to be dirty, nasty, thirsty work.
Josh and Mike played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time: What is the most trustworthy source of news?
Once Upon A Time (Part Five)
Read part one, part two, three, and part four!
The prince, now almost completely at his wit’s end, could no longer find it in himself to kill the dragon. In all honesty, he was almost sure the lance would glance off the thick black scales and the dragon would laugh at him again.
He simply could not bear that.
And so he tapped the dragon\’s shoulder with the tip of his lance and said politely, “If you please, which way to the evil sorceress\’s lair?”
This was how the prince came to find himself at the shore of a massive island, having first taken advantage of the ferry provided to assist commuters in traveling to and from the mainland. It was a nice ferry, well-kept and reasonably priced, and the prince enjoyed the slow chug of the engine and the sea breeze in his hair as the little boat crossed the channel. The horse did not enjoy it because he was not allowed on the ferry as he could not pay the toll, and the prince simply could not lend him any more money.
Upon reaching the island, the brave young prince leapt upon the land and bellowed, “I challenge the evil sorceress who stole the women of my country and turned them into slaves to a duel to the death!”
A fishwife on the dock stared at him for a moment before muttering, “Terrible grammar. What are they teaching in schools these days?”
No one else paid the bold prince any attention. So he sought out the nearest tavern, which was surprisingly clean and quiet for a dockside pub. In fact, it more resembled a tea house. The prince strode bravely to the bar and slammed his fist down on the counter. “I vow to handsomely reward any man who takes me to the evil sorceress residing on this island!”
He was met with silence. “Is there no one man enough to aid me in my quest?”
Someone cleared their throat primly. “Not particularly,” a voice answered. It was, in fact, a woman. They were all women, dressed in trousers and smudged with dirt.
The prince backed out of the tavern. “What manner of enchantment is this?” he cried, rushing into the street, where he only saw more women, women everywhere, and all in men\’s clothes, doing men\’s work, and scratching like men do.
This, the prince decided, was the last straw. He had been laughed at, threatened, and insulted, and now he was faced with more of the fairer sex than he had ever imagined existed — and they all acted like men. The trembling prince fell to his knees and wailed, “I want my mommy!”
All activity ceased. Suddenly every single human being was staring in his direction, her eyes wide and her breath held. The prince froze, as well, waiting for the women to attack him.
The nearest woman knelt by his side and cooed, “What\’s the matter, deary?” and clutched him to her buxom bosom.
The prince detached himself from the woman and cleared his throat. “I — I need to see”¦” he chose his words carefully, heeding the dragon\’s advice. “I need to see the lady with the magical powers.”
To be continued — one last time!
Quote of the Day, 8/18/08
“What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.” — R. C. F. Aron
One Hundred Words (29)
Medieval standards, it seems, were lower in every department. Hygiene was hit-or-miss, you ate whatever you could, and there weren’t nearly as many comfortable places to sit.
But perhaps nowhere is the chasm separating us from antiquity wider than female beauty. Toss a wig and a silly hat on me and I could pass for Helen of Troy! A really tall, flat-chested version, but still…
Fathered by cygnine Zeus, she was repeatedly kidnapped for her unsurpassed beauty, attracted every red-blooded Greek, and caused a deadly war through infidelity. She even blinded a poet who insulted her!
And she looked like THIS?
–sm
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- Battle of the Bands LXXXIV
- Bible Discussion — Ephesians 5-6
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- Quote of the Day, 2/25/09
- One Hundred Words (48)
- Quote of the Day, 2/23/09
- Battle of the Bands LXXXIII
- Bible Discussion — Ephesians 3-4
- That’s Some Great Police Work
- One Hundred Words (47)
- Quote of the Day, 2/20/09
- Fortune and Judgment
- One Hundred Words (46)
- Quote of the Day, 2/18/09
- Three Links (Vol. 19)
- The Council’s Ruling — Worst Year
- One Hundred Words (45)
- Quote of the Day, 2/16/09
- Bad Marketing
- Quote of the Day, 2/13/09
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