Behind the Scenes

October 16, 2008, 10:00 am; posted by
Filed under Articles, David, Featured  | 2 Comments

–ITHACA, N.Y.

It\’s the kind of thing that drives a coach crazy; the sort that has him sitting at a bar drinking free Salvation Army Cokes, reminiscing about what might have been. Last year, Bweinh! had a strong season, nearly winning several major awards — and then, during the offseason, busted the salary cap by re-signing several free agents, among them Tom.

“We originally signed Tom out of college; his numbers in the combine were incredible, off the charts really,” said Steve, coach, general manager, and owner of the fledgling website. “He had a great rookie year and signed at the league minimum, but we knew arbitration would nail us, so we signed him to a big contract over the offseason.”

Tom had a strong training camp and started the season with a bang — but then he was injured in a freak accident. Said Steve: “He did some great clashes for us last season, and we were going to move him to left guard, taking over some of the more liberal clash positions from MCB — but then he wrote that little blurb for the new ‘bwog’ feature . . . and the rest was history.”

The blurb, of course, was the subtle, yet uproariously humorous PT Cruiser quote, by far one of the funniest items in the two-week period. But disaster struck when Tom dislocated the tip of his index finger polishing the sentence; a relief writer was called in to finish the last few letters. The next day, he was flown to Sloan-Kettering to be examined by nationally renowned finger experts, and the news wasn\’t good.

“There was more trauma than anyone realized at the time, actually some damage to the nail, causing it to discolor as it has grown out,” Steve noted. “Not only that, but it was extremely painful, which was, uh, the real problem.”

By “the real problem,” of course he means the rumor that in treating his injury, Tom has become addicted to the painkiller Advil, complicating his return to the site. When reached for comment, Tom spoke of needing to “return to the lab,” refusing to answer any questions about ibuprofen dependency.

They say it’s lonely at the top, and no one knows that better than the coach: juggling lines, redrawing plays on the fly, and wondering who will next land on injured reserve. Next week, we’ll look at center MCB — who recently changed his name to MB, but has yet to get league permission to wear it on his jersey. Last year he got off to a quick start, but his offseason marriage has forced him to be placed on the “physically unable to perform” list.


Comments

2 Comments to “Behind the Scenes”

  1. Tom on October 16th, 2008 12:58 pm

    Ha! Excellent!

  2. Connie Maxon on October 16th, 2008 1:55 pm

    I’m glad someone’s on the MCB story. Or whatever he’s calling himself this week…

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