Quote of the Day, 11/10/08

11/10/2008, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“You don’t become a rock star unless you’ve got something missing somewhere; that is obvious to me. If you were of sound mind or a more complete person, you could feel normal without 70,000 people a night screaming their love for you . . . It’s a real singer’s thing, missing mothers. Johnny Lydon, John Lennon, it seems to be the very heart of rock and roll, as missing fathers are to hip hop.” — Bono (P. D. Hewson)

The Newest Chick Tract

11/10/2008, 12:30 am -- by | 1 Comment


 

©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).

{democracy:308}

Three Links (Vol. 12)

11/7/2008, 4:28 pm -- by | 1 Comment

— This year’s election map by county doesn’t look all that different from 2004, but if you check out the voting shifts tab, you see that pretty much everywhere that wasn’t Tennessee, Arkansas, or Oklahoma got markedly bluer. Still an improvement over the Clinton years, though.

— I don’t feel comfortable sending you all to some of the things I most enjoy at McSweeney’s, but anyone who’s ever fired 10 times at a squirrel on the Oregon Trail should appreciate this. “The other day, I saw you quit the trail immediately after your wagon capsized in the Kansas River. You lost only an ox and a hundred pounds of food. I drank myself to sleep that night.”

— As I learned during college, people love lists. Whether they loved my lists is another question entirely, and rather than considering it, why don’t we check out this list of the ten most irritating phrases, from researchers at Oxford? Maybe, at the end of the day, I’m fairly unique, but I personally feel that it’s not rocket science; with all due respect, you absolutely shouldn’t of doubted that using these phrases 24/7 at this moment in time — it’s a nightmare.

I Five The Sandbox

11/7/2008, 1:50 pm -- by | No Comments

Well, this is interesting. The history of gay marriage in California has been a contest of constant one-upsmanship, like that playground ‘game’ where you start by saying “I one the sandbox,” and proceed onward in an attempt to get your playmate to admit that he or she “eight the sandbox.”

You ate the sandbox?? Ewww! Why would you ever do that?!

This game started in 2000, when the voters of California voted by a 62-38 margin to codify “the union of a man and a woman” as the only valid form of marriage in the state. It took a few years, but soon enough, the state legislature took up the challenge, passing a bill in 2005 to legalize same-sex marriage. Ah, but beside the see-saw stood new Gov. Schwarzenegger. Ahnuuld vetoed the bill, calling it either unconstitutional or redundant, depending on how the courts eventually viewed the original vote.

The next stop was the intermediate court in California, which reversed a trial court ruling to find that the ban on gay marriage was non-discriminatory and based on a legitimate state interest. Now back to the legislature, which passed their bill yet again — and yet again found it blocked by the Governator, who said he wanted to know how the California Supreme Court felt on the issue. And they hopped onto the merry-go-round this past May, in a 4-3 ruling that constituted a breathtakingly broad expansion of precedent: finding sexual orientation to be a protected class like race and gender and subjecting any classification on its basis to “strict scrutiny.” These guys play for keeps!

But given the permissive nature of the California ballot, no one thought the game was over — and sure enough, the same tide that swept Obama into office this week also resulted in the narrow passage of a state constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, as nearly 70% of blacks voted “yes” on Prop. 8. The voters spoke, and you could see the words formed clearly on their lips: “We seven the sandbox.” Game, set, match?

Not quite. Now comes word of future court challenges, on the ground that the constitutional change might be best termed a “revision,” which would require a two-thirds vote in the legislature before a majority vote by Californians. What Carpenter writes makes sense: given that the CA Supreme Court has already held that the right to marry is a fundamental right not to be denied on the basis of the suspect class of sexual orientation, they may well take “the importance of the right declared and the suspect nature of the discrimination into account,” and overturn (yet again) the will of the people through judicial fiat.

I’m hardly rabid on this issue, but I found the court’s decision unreasonable. And since California law provides for constitutional amendments through direct election, the people ought to have some say in the matter when they think the judges screwed it up. The only question is whether California’s highest court will submit to the people — eat the sandbox, if you will — or just conjure up a new integer ‘twixt seven and eight.

Quote of the Day, 11/7/08

11/7/2008, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope.” — G. Eliot (M. Evans)

Let Freedom Ring!

11/6/2008, 9:30 am -- by | No Comments

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ”˜We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.\’ ”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whatever Barack Obama was on Monday, today he is my president. I know that many of us — and by “us,” I mean conservatives and Republicans — watched the results of the election with a sense of dread, borne either by the fear of what a liberal president might do to the “right to life” cause, or the terrifying shadows of campaign rhetoric that somehow Obama will turn out to be a Muslim extremist or an agent for socialist change in America. But I think America is bigger than the sum of all those fears, real and imagined.

We must not let our short-term political disappointments cloud our senses and rob us of what should be a time of great rejoicing. I read through the text of King’s “Dream” speech this morning, and I have to say it gave me cold chills. In a way, it set my heart rejoicing. He noted that he had been asked, “When will you (the devotees of civil rights) be satisfied?” His answer was to quote the book of Amos: when “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

It reminded me of Lincoln’s second inaugural address, when he wondered aloud if the horrible war they were fighting was God\’s judgment on slavery, and noted: “Fondly do we hope — fervently do we pray — that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue, until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s 250 years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said 3000 years ago, so still it must be said: “the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.”

I cannot help but rejoice at the setting to rights of this nation’s past history of injustice. Perhaps it is because I live in the South, where the wound still aches in the sneers and smart remarks of my fellow white companions. Perhaps it is because I still remember the day I used the “N-word” — a word I had heard from my father many times — on the lone black girl at State Street School in Watertown, NY.

I remember how she followed me all over the school yard, smoldering anger in her eyes as I ran away. She never caught me, but the janitor, Mr. Allen, did. And when he found out what I had said, he slammed me against the wall and told me to never use that word again.

He was a white man. It was the first time I had ever seen a white man stand up for a terrified and helpless black child. It was the first time I saw that what I was learning at home from my father might not be right.

I rejoice that hopefully today 250 years of slavery is answered — every lash, every drop of blood — and that indeed “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Joke of the Day, 11/6/08

11/6/2008, 7:00 am -- by | 1 Comment

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. I asked him, “Got any shoes you aren’t using?”

The Morning After

11/5/2008, 10:13 am -- by | No Comments

I’ll go through my predictions once all the results are finalized, but it sure does look like my worst-case scenario came true. But what does it all mean, really?

For one thing, a lot of people are considerably happier than they were yesterday. Josh reported walking through the Staten Island projects yesterday and seeing people dancing, screaming, and celebrating in a way he hadn’t seen since the Giants won the Super Bowl. And I find myself legitimately glad for those people. Today the United States has elected a president of mixed race, and that is an achievement — an achievement of identification and participation. Good for them.

On a more substantive note, the Democrats will finally be forced to provide responsible political leadership, rather than endless delay and obstruction. They were never going to become serious about the War on Terror until they were responsible for it, and now we will see whether even that will make a difference. Republicans maintained enough seats in the Senate to at least occasionally threaten a filibuster, and after five years of endless Republican immolation, I for one look forward to watching the Democrats destroy themselves for a change. I feel more comfortable on the outside. It’s refreshing.

Today I woke up and walked to work and the sun was shining and the breeze was blowing and it was so warm and beautiful I thought it was May. Life is good and God is on His throne.

Today is a good day to be an American. They all are.

Obama Cancels Winter

11/5/2008, 9:33 am -- by | 2 Comments

–CHICAGO, Ill.

“Winter,” a cold and lonely season of death that has plagued America for over 230 years, was outlawed yesterday, in the first official act of president-elect Barack Obama’s reign.

“And to those who still doubt that we have the power to turn back the icy hand of Jack Frost, to free this nation from the shackles of snow and ice and all manner of winter weather, to frolic together on the beaches of Lake Michigan at 10 pm on a balmy Christmas Eve — I say to you: yes! We! Can!” Obama told a crowd in Chicago’s Grant Park, formerly a scenic Christmas landmark.

As a result, all over the nation today, Americans awoke to discover bright sunshine and unseasonably warm temperatures, enlivening what was once simply another Wednesday in early November. Even the fierce and wintry town of Detroit, Mich. was not immune to the order; surprisingly comfortable breezes there were credited for a nearly 400% increase in the overnight murder rate.

“I knew we could do this,” said Toni Rogers, a bikini-clad administrative assistant from Springfield, Massachusetts. “Nonstop summer is change I can believe in! Next step: finding a way to make rainbows without all that rain.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s Barack Obama.”

“Old Man Winter,” the anthropomorphized mascot of the season, has reportedly been sent to a secure facility in Guantanamo Bay, where he is being treated as an enemy combatant and hot-waterboarded.

Obama noted that the ban on winter would not apply in Alaska.

Why Hillary Clinton — no, Barack Obama — Will Be Our Next President

11/5/2008, 8:00 am -- by | No Comments

Originally published November 2007, and resubmitted October 31, 2008.

No, I don’t like her him. No, I would never support her him. Yes, I really believe she will be our next president.

Why do I think this?

First, it’s the Democrats’ turn. One of the best practical jokes I was ever a part of involved a camper trailer, me, a massive former football star, a small musician/ladies’ man, and several children. I put the kids in the trailer and worked out signals, so that when Henry (the small guy) lifted the tongue of the camper while I moved the stump to level it, the kids scurried to the back, making it easy for him to lift. But when Tim (the big guy) tried, I had them scurry to the front, making it impossible to lift. With the wheels as a fulcrum, 5 or 6 small kids made the job either easy or impossible — tricking Tim was great fun.

The weight, I believe, is shifting back to the Democrats. The strongest candidate we can muster won’t be able to overcome even the feeble challenge of a liberal female inexperienced candidate.

People in this nation seem to love the underdog, and they get tired of the same people being in power — especially when those people promised they would “remember you” when they got there, but quickly forgot, amid their newfound life of luxury. Remember the right-wing revolution? The Contract with America? People gave conservatives the presidency and both houses of Congress for the first time in a bazillion years, and we were going to reform lobbying and campaign finance, set term limits, and fix every other advantage held by the inside-the-Beltway boys? Yeah, they slacked off on those promises and never did get around to reforming all that’s wrong with our national government.

*loud whistle* “TIME! DEMOCRATS! YOU’RE UP NEXT!”

But it’s not just that, it’s also the economy again. It’s kind of like having only two grocery stores in town — when you get sick of the one you shop at now, you go back to the one you left eight years ago. It’s bound to happen. Prices go up everywhere, but you still go back to the old store.

I know no one is saying we’re in a recession, but the man on the street can sense these things long before the big shots admit it’s happening. Gasoline affects every other sector of the economy. Everybody needs transportation to get back and forth to work; everyone has to get their product from point A to point B. Everyone I know is struggling paycheck to paycheck. Every business owner I know is looking at a bad year. Our business did $1.2 million last year, but we won’t come close to a million this year. Like it or not, people are ready for change.

Then there’s the war. It was the right thing to do; it’s still the right thing to do, but it’s draining away revenue we don’t have, and creating a huge deficit again. Right or wrong, people vote with their wallets, and right now, those wallets are leaning to the left. There’s no one out there I can see who will turn them back.

And that’s the last reason. There is no conservative Republican candidate generating the type of interest needed to energize the Christian vote. You may think I’m crazy, but I know Christians who voted for Bill Clinton when he ran for re-election. Four years of his shenanigans, and still they voted for him.

When I hear people here in Alabama, a solidly conservative Republican stronghold, entertaining the possibility of another Clinton Obama administration — and hinting that it might not be so bad, I think the tide has turned.

Quote of the Day, 11/5/08

11/5/2008, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“By the frame of the government under which we live, this same people have wisely given their public servants but little power for mischief, and have with equal wisdom provided for the return of that little to their own hands at very short intervals. While the people retain their virtue and vigilance, no administration by any extreme of wickedness or folly can very seriously injure the government in the short space of four years.” — A. Lincoln

From the Phone 6

11/5/2008, 1:02 am -- by | No Comments

Overheard at work today:

“If this election goes the wrong way, we should move to Canada.”

“If this election goes the wrong way, we’ll BECOME Canada!”

Election Day Live Blog!

11/4/2008, 5:05 pm -- by | 6 Comments

We live-blogged Election Night for almost EIGHT SOLID HOURS, including input from Steve, Djere, MCB, Job, Kaitlin, Josh, and Tom! So check it out, and don’t forget to scroll down and look at all our other content from Election Day too!

The Final 538 Prediction

11/4/2008, 2:00 pm -- by | 1 Comment

On one hand, these guys are admitted Democrats whose analysis frequently seems to consist of telling liberals “not to worry” about polls that look bad for Obama. On the other, they do seem to use thorough models and have an impressive pedigree in statistical analysis, especially in the stat-heavy world of baseball.

So for what it’s worth, 538 projects a landslide Obama victory — either 353-185 or 349-189, depending on which way you want to look at it. That’s only one state (Indiana) short of my worst-case scenario.

They give McCain only a 1.1% chance of victory, which is comically low. I suppose we’ll see how all their numbers look after tonight.

Battleground Poll Results

11/4/2008, 11:55 am -- by | No Comments

May the rest of my Election Day be as pleasant as this morning, where I got two rounds of applause and some free cookies for being voter #100 in the precinct.

If you’re looking for good news, the reports of high turnout have not been limited to Democratic areas, and the early vote in Colorado is almost equally split between Democrat and Republican.

Also, the most accurate poll in three of the last four elections has predicted a final result of Obama 50.9%, McCain 47.4%. Combine that projection with the huge margins Obama is expected to run up in New York and California, and maybe McCain does have a shot to eke out that narrow Electoral College win.

I think the odds are around 8 to 1.

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