Bumper Stickers III

01/27/2009, 12:00 am -- by Steve | No Comments

Previous entries here and here.

Driving around…

		Summary: Peace through . . . alien invasion? In Other Words: I give up, ET! Do your worst! Please — take my ’99 Honda Civic! Designed For: People who still think an alien head logo looks cool. People who still think a peace sign is trendy. People who like to get their surrendering out of the way super early.

		What Now?: The SUV didn’t seem higher than normal… Leading Me to Wonder: Eyebrows, face, chest, or backside? And If I Had a Nickel: For every time I’d asked that…

		Oh Good!: Snarky, unnecessarily combative bumper stickers are no longer the sole province of the left! We’re saved! One-Sentence Summary: Please deface my station wagon! Dirty Looks Per Drive: 25 (city), 35 (highway) No, Susie, Don’t Be Silly: That nice man is just telling Mommy she’s number one!

Quote of the Day, 1/26/09

01/26/2009, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active — not more happy nor more wise — than he was 6,000 years ago.” — E. A. Poe

George the Criminal

01/23/2009, 11:30 am -- by David | No Comments

Shafts of late afternoon sunlight fall upon the winter forest, bringing a dazzling glow to the fresh snow scattered on the ground, ringing the shaggy heads of ancient trees. At a crossroads near an inn, surrounded by a few squalid hovels, a messenger appears, riding a white horse. He blows a silver trumpet, and as the wretched inhabitants warily assemble, he unravels a parchment and begins to read.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! Good Sir Obama, that fearless knight and champion of the people, hath deposed the great and evil foe of mankind and nature! George W. Bush — killer of polar bears; destroyer of dolphins; slaughterer of seals; torturer of both terrorists and tortoises — hath fallen! This is that same evil man who descended into the deep places of the earth and brought forth the plague of oil wherewith he enslaved and exploited his fellow citizens for filthy lucre\’s sake; this is he who delved too deeply, awakening the fires of the dark place, warming the planet and melting the polar caps of ice! He who hath been known to rob from the poor and give to the rich!”

“Yes, citizens, this is that same George W. Bush who strode upon the fields of nations, killing, devouring, and pillaging among not just our enemies but our friends; it is he who hath caused a stench to arise, filling the nostrils of even our staunchest allies. He it was also who brought upon us the wrath of nature, stirring up that race of hardy water-borne malevolent sprites, known as the Hurricane-beasts. How many times in recent years have they invaded with impunity these hallowed shores, decimating the ranks of the poor and downtrodden, leaving the rich and privileged to their life of ease?”

“This same George Bush hath, in fact, estranged us from our allies in the animal kingdom, and senselessly slaughtered our brothers and sisters, the trees! Red oaks, white oaks, majestic sequoias, all hath been slain in their sleep, and in the presence of those dear saplings that were being raised up at their feet! But hark now! For this same vile beast, bane of all existence, hath been vanquished, and Good Sir Obama hath ascended to the throne and now inhabits the White Citadel!”

“How often would his people, the Democrats, have ridden to your succor with wagons of food and bags of gold, only to be thwarted time and time again by the vile Republican army of George W. Bush. ‘Tis these same Democrats which have spent eight years groveling at the foot of the White Citadel, dressed in rags, subsisting on dry beans and moldy bread, while the Republicans feasted inside, on the fat of the land! Obama and these Democratic heroes refused to partake in the feasting until they could reign with you: the poor, the downtrodden, and the broken!”

“So now today, Good Sir Obama, bids you — rejoice! And join him to reign in prosperity and justice!”

To be continued…

Battle of the Bands LXXX

01/22/2009, 10:34 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

The first group of band names from Jonah is below; moving on are To the Lee, Twenty Fathoms, and Euroclydon!

Vote in the Acts playoffs here!

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Bible Discussion — Jonah 1-2

01/22/2009, 10:31 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com starts a new book, discussing the first two chapters of Jonah!

Read it all here!

PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS:
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14-15 | 16-17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
Esther: 1-2 | 3-5 | 6-8 | 9-10
Acts: 1 | 2 | 3-4 | 5 | 6-7 | 8 | 9-10 | 11-12 | 13-14
15-16 | 17-18 | 19-20 | 21-22 | 23-24 | 25-26 | 27-28

INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
I think nearly everyone knows the story of Jonah and the whale — although technically this fish was never named, kind of like the wise men were never counted.

Jonah is a man plucked from obscurity, drafted into service one day, perhaps after praying, “What am I here for?” If so, he didn’t really like the answer.

David:
The book of Jonah is a great study in divine-human relations. Jonah is a man of God, entrusted with a call on his life; yet he has an “attitude.” It\’s an inescapable fact that such men (present company not excluded) still exist today, complicating God\’s plans to reach the world.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
In the NIV, 1:17 says that “the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah.” It takes a certain perspective to see getting swallowed by a fish as providence.

Connie:
In 1:5, every man cried out “to his own god,” but when that didn\’t work, they found Jonah and made sure he was doing the same thing. Why didn\’t they start with that?

Steve:
They sure peppered Jonah with questions after the lots identified him as the source of the trouble, including about his occupation. What if no one had been to blame? Would they have just thrown the nearest lawyer or car salesman overboard?

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Overboard
David: Innocent Blood
Connie: Casting Lots
Steve: Mean Sleeper

Continued here!

Acts Band Name Playoffs!

01/22/2009, 10:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Here’s the first round in the Acts band name playoffs!

{democracy:316}

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Quote of the Day, 1/22/09

01/22/2009, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“If we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people to not kill each other? Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want.” — M. Teresa

It Takes A Frenchman…

01/22/2009, 12:56 am -- by Steve | No Comments

…to surrender to a depressed poodle!

A Time For Choosing

01/22/2009, 12:17 am -- by Djere | 1 Comment

“As for the peace that we would preserve, I wonder who among us would like to approach the wife or mother whose husband or son has died in South Vietnam and ask them if they think this is a peace that should be maintained indefinitely. Do they mean peace, or do they mean we just want to be left in peace? There can be no real peace while one American is dying some place in the world for the rest of us. We’re at war with the most dangerous enemy that has ever faced mankind in his long climb from the swamp to the stars, and it’s been said if we lose that war, and in so doing lose this way of freedom of ours, history will record with the greatest astonishment that those who had the most to lose did the least to prevent its happening. Well I think it’s time we ask ourselves if we still know the freedoms that were intended for us by the Founding Fathers.” — Ronald W. Reagan, October 27, 1964

Replace the words “South Vietnam” with “Iraq” or “Afghanistan” and the Gipper speaks truth to us 44 years later.

Clicking the picture will take you to American Rhetoric, a site I highly recommend if you’re interested in American politics.

Read the full text, listen to the 29-minute speech in its entirety.

In the midst of uncertain times, a global war with no (good) end in sight, and a liberal government in Washington, remember: it takes a Carter to get a Reagan.

From the Phone 7

01/20/2009, 12:01 pm -- by Djere | No Comments

“Saint Ronald of Reagan, pray for us and hear our prayers.

And may God have mercy on our souls.”

Inauguration Day

01/20/2009, 11:30 am -- by Steve | 3 Comments

Sixteen years ago today, I was sitting at a lab bench, half-listening to a chemistry lecture as I watched the clock. At the stroke of noon, I dramatically lowered my head to my desk in a gesture of resignation. For the first time in my brief life, we had a Democratic president — and while a few of my more liberal friends tittered at my open, campy despair, there was a part of me that truly mourned.

Now, for only the second time in my less-brief life, another Democrat will be sworn in, the first winner I have ever voted against. His supporters are infinitely more optimistic than Clinton’s ever were. They have written some of the worst poetry in human history to honor the historic inauguration. They have lined up for miles around to catch a glimpse, as the train of Obama’s robe fills the temple. They make me want to mute CNN.

It seems that some of my friends are as shaken as I was at 11, worrying about the survival of the republic, making plans to move out West in a pre-emptive attempt to protect themselves from their new government. But as I watch the scene on the Mall and think about the four years to come, I don’t feel the way I did in 1992. I did not vote for this man, and I worry about the effect of some of his policies — but with the benefit of perspective, I remain supremely confident in the future of our country.

I am happy that Obama’s election has made the poor and the outcast feel welcome and included. I am pleased that our nation has, at least in some small way, overcome the terrible stain of its institutional racism. I am eager to watch President Bush’s reputation rise over the rest of my life. And frankly, I am thrilled to have the chance to watch my ideological opponents be disappointed by one of their own for a while. You know I feel more at home with low expectations anyway.

On my way to work today, I took a step off the sidewalk and felt my right foot slide on some hidden ice. Instantly, my left arm flew into the air to maintain my equilibrium; I didn’t have to think about it. It just happened. And I kept moving forward.

Quote of the Day, 1/20/09

01/20/2009, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent.” — B. Obama

Quote of the Day, 1/16/09

01/16/2009, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“There’s a saying, ‘It’s easy to write songs, but very difficult to write great songs.’ I’m going through that right now.” — B. Adams

One Hundred Words (39)

01/16/2009, 12:00 am -- by Steve | 2 Comments

My parents’ bathroom, where I’ve been bathing since the early ’80s, has a new light bulb. It’s one of those fancy numbers that doesn’t turn on all at once, to save the polar bears or somesuch.

Flip the switch, and suddenly I’m in a groggy, dusky shadowland, belonging neither to light nor dark. Sometimes I drop my toothbrush. Eventually the bulb warms, and slowly its light grows brighter and brighter, harsher and harsher, until everything around is too garishly revealed — like a game of Wheel of Fortune, with every puzzle ripped from your diary.

I’m learning to brush in the dark.

–sm

What DID It Take in the ’90s to Burn the Charts?

01/15/2009, 11:39 pm -- by Steve | No Comments

If only Hammer had known…

1990 — Nepotism

1991 — Exaggerated, Schmaltzy Boasts
“There’s no love, like your love. And no other could give more love.”
It takes a special kind of man to rhyme “love” with “love” — then immediately do it again.

1992 — Ripping Off The Temptations
“Girl, I know you really love me. You just don’t realize. You’ve never been there before.”
Also, you dig that I look like Urkel in these enormous glasses.

1993 — Ripping Off Dolly Parton

1994 — A Deal With the Swedish Devil

1995 — Growing Up in Compton

1996 — Rump-Shaking Rhythm
“Heyyyyy, Macarena! Aiyee!”
There were people who needed a computerized lesson to learn this dance?!

1997 — Shameless Exploitation of Tragedy

1998 — Filthy Grinding
“Baby, us dancing so close — ain’t a good idea.”
Singing about it? Also not such a good idea. The musical equivalent of a trenchcoat flasher.

1999 — A Truly Stunning Amount of Botox

Source: The Billboard Hot 100

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