What DID It Take in the ’90s to Burn the Charts?

January 15, 2009, 11:39 pm; posted by
Filed under Bwog, Steve  | No Comments

If only Hammer had known…

1990 — Nepotism

1991 — Exaggerated, Schmaltzy Boasts
“There’s no love, like your love. And no other could give more love.”
It takes a special kind of man to rhyme “love” with “love” — then immediately do it again.

1992 — Ripping Off The Temptations
“Girl, I know you really love me. You just don’t realize. You’ve never been there before.”
Also, you dig that I look like Urkel in these enormous glasses.

1993 — Ripping Off Dolly Parton

1994 — A Deal With the Swedish Devil

1995 — Growing Up in Compton

1996 — Rump-Shaking Rhythm
“Heyyyyy, Macarena! Aiyee!”
There were people who needed a computerized lesson to learn this dance?!

1997 — Shameless Exploitation of Tragedy

1998 — Filthy Grinding
“Baby, us dancing so close — ain’t a good idea.”
Singing about it? Also not such a good idea. The musical equivalent of a trenchcoat flasher.

1999 — A Truly Stunning Amount of Botox

Source: The Billboard Hot 100


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