One Hundred Words (45)

02/16/2009, 3:52 pm -- by | 2 Comments

(Two-Minute Drill #4) has a commercial — maybe you’ve seen it? The two shampoos commercial? High-larious.

“It’s working! It’s working! They got me! It’s working!”

I don’t know what it is about that commercial, but it reaches me on many levels.

And GEICO’s new line of commercial featuring “Kash”? I love it. I love the song, I love the character, I love how nonchalant they are about the absurdity.

“That? That’s just the money you could be saving by switching to GEICO!”

“T-tell me who’s watching!”


One Hundred Words (44)

02/12/2009, 9:25 pm -- by | No Comments

(Two-minute drill #3: on Romans 2:5-6)

It’s often said there are no guilty people in prison. Generally, if you ask people caught red-handed if they’re guilty, they’ll answer no: it’s someone else’s fault, or a setup, or the man is keeping them down. But these verses say that every sin stores up not just judgment and wrath, but also revelation.

And at Judgment Day, everyone will know exactly why things happened, as revealed by a perfect God. No denial, no excuses, just revelation and wrath — or mercy.

And all those who demand “why” from God will know, and be silenced.


One Hundred Words (43)

02/11/2009, 9:00 am -- by | No Comments

I’m really irritated by “global warming.”

In the 70s, it was global cooling, an impending ice age. In the 90s, it was global warming, an impending tidal wave to kill us all.

Now it’s global climate change, because apparently “global warming” makes some places colder. I don’t know how true it is for you, but if I didn’t know spring followed winter, I’d think winter would never end! And summer? Sheesh, I’ve forgotten all about summer by now.

For once, can’t people stop hyping up crap to sell books and push agendas, and admit we’re not as smart as we think?


Music by Bweinh! — How Great

02/10/2009, 10:00 am -- by | 2 Comments

Next in the series of reflections on songs written and performed by Bweinh!tributors is “How Great” (© 2005 Dj. Maxon), as recorded live by the band Maxon.

Listen to or download the song here (for a limited time)!

“How Great” is a song I wrote in college, and it’s one of the better songs I’ve written. I’m not a big fan of the song, but other people seem to like it — so I don’t know what to say to them. I’m okay with the chorus, but there’s something about the verses I can’t put my finger on… I just don’t like them.

Looking through an old clipboard, I just found the original blue scrap of paper I wrote the song on, stuffed into the pages of an aging yellow legal pad. A pad, might I add, that’s just full of terrible, terrible songs. Terrible. If you were to look at it, which you never will (because the songs are just embarrassingly terrible and I won’t let you), you could open to just about any page and find the first verse of an unfinished song, or hastily scribbled chords that, by now, make little to no sense.

Ahhhh, the halcyon days of my youth, when scribbling chords and penning songs not fit for human consumption was how I passed the time. I wrote this song in the basement of the music building, Tyler Hall, pretty much in one take. I spent a lot of time down in those cramped, tiny practice rooms. Thank goodness now I have Left 4 Dead.

Anyway, as I said before, other people like the song more than I do, but I do like the chorus a fair amount.

Enjoy, I guess….

One Hundred Words (42)

02/9/2009, 3:00 pm -- by | No Comments

(Two-Minute Drill #2: on the humble toilet.)

Throughout the useful lifetime of a type of product, a considerable evolution takes place. The automobile started out humbly enough as a Model T, and was revised and renewed until reaching perfection in the form of my 2001 Jeep Cherokee.

But what of the toilet? How did it truly start, and where can it go in the future? Taller? Wider? Softer? Warmer? More water-efficient? Nuclear-powered?

Where are the innovators of tomorrow who will revolutionize the process of personal relief?


One Hundred Words (40)

02/5/2009, 9:30 am -- by | No Comments

(Two-Minute Drill #1)

In football, a two-minute drill is a regular element in practice. The basic gist is for the offense to march down the field, from end zone to end zone, in two minutes.

But how much can I write in two uninterrupted minutes? Surprisingly little.

Without research or copying and pasting to make my work seem fluffier and more robust, all I’ve got is the meager stream of verbiage that flows from my frontal lobe.

Aaaand, pencils down, class.


Super Bowl Haiku Prediction 2.1

01/30/2009, 2:11 pm -- by | No Comments

True win? Budweiser
Trumping Bud Light once again
It is destiny.

Super Bowl Haiku Prediction 2

01/30/2009, 2:09 pm -- by | No Comments

As Obama won
So too will his prediction
Steelers, not Card’nals

A Time For Choosing

01/22/2009, 12:17 am -- by | 1 Comment

“As for the peace that we would preserve, I wonder who among us would like to approach the wife or mother whose husband or son has died in South Vietnam and ask them if they think this is a peace that should be maintained indefinitely. Do they mean peace, or do they mean we just want to be left in peace? There can be no real peace while one American is dying some place in the world for the rest of us. We’re at war with the most dangerous enemy that has ever faced mankind in his long climb from the swamp to the stars, and it’s been said if we lose that war, and in so doing lose this way of freedom of ours, history will record with the greatest astonishment that those who had the most to lose did the least to prevent its happening. Well I think it’s time we ask ourselves if we still know the freedoms that were intended for us by the Founding Fathers.” — Ronald W. Reagan, October 27, 1964

Ronald W. Reagan - October 27, 1964

Replace the words “South Vietnam” with “Iraq” or “Afghanistan” and the Gipper speaks truth to us 44 years later.

Clicking the picture will take you to American Rhetoric, a site I highly recommend if you’re interested in American politics.

Read the full text, listen to the 29-minute speech in its entirety.

In the midst of uncertain times, a global war with no (good) end in sight, and a liberal government in Washington, remember: it takes a Carter to get a Reagan.

From the Phone 7

01/20/2009, 12:01 pm -- by | No Comments

“Saint Ronald of Reagan, pray for us and hear our prayers.

And may God have mercy on our souls.”

WWF, WWE… what’s the difference

01/14/2009, 7:57 pm -- by | 2 Comments

A commercial for WWF (the World Wildlife Fund) just came on TV, pleading with me to save the polar bears.

Did you know most of them will be dead in “our children’s lifetime!”?

Despite the clear environmental message, I couldn’t help wondering for over half the commercial, “what do polar bears have to do with wrestling?”

From the Phone 6

11/5/2008, 1:02 am -- by | No Comments

Overheard at work today:

“If this election goes the wrong way, we should move to Canada.”

“If this election goes the wrong way, we’ll BECOME Canada!”

Presidential Haiku Prediction 2

11/3/2008, 2:04 pm -- by | 1 Comment

Lawsuits like raindrops
Lawyers: Biblical locusts
Apocalypse soon

Four More Years…

10/22/2008, 11:58 pm -- by | No Comments

Of Jimmy Carter.

One Hundred Words (36)

10/3/2008, 3:19 pm -- by | 2 Comments

I hate 24/7 news coverage of anything.

There’s nothing new to say.

Nobody listens when they say it.

It doesn\’t make any sort of difference whatsoever.

All I know is that today the House passed legislation that will allow the government to further interfere in a credit market the government screwed up to begin with!

And after passing said legislation, the Democratic House leadership went on to publicly suckle the teats of Barack Obama.

Barack Obama couldn\’t find his backside with both hands and a Tom Tom. Obama has absolutely no qualifications to be President, and he knows it.


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