One Hundred Words (37)

10/29/2008, 9:00 am -- by Steve | No Comments

Someday (someday soon?) I’ll live somewhere temperate. But for now, I love how the drastic seasonal changes of upstate New York punctuate the passage of time. This is late October, and Monday I could tell, striding with a lean into a violent, almost icy wind. Change builds character. We are not spoiled.

Then again, maybe the weather drives us crazy too. Last Thursday night, it was barely 40 when a man in a T-shirt passed me on the sidewalk, licking a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone.

Not to worry, though; you’ll never catch me doing that.

I hate mint ice cream.

–sm

Best of Bweinh — One Hundred Words (1)

10/27/2008, 11:30 am -- by Mike | 2 Comments

Originally published May 14, 2008.

There comes a moment in each sports season where I begin to let go of one team and move on to the next one. The Philadelphia Flyers — Bweinh! predictions to the contrary — are not going to win the Stanley Cup.

Yet I’m not upset, really. I feel less ticked at their letdown, and am content to release these Flyers to the haze of history, and give my heart to another.

I have developed this coping mechanism over the last 97 Philadelphia professional sports seasons, each one ending without a championship. Perhaps the 98th — the 2008 Philadelphia Phillies — will not disappoint.

–MJ

One Hundred Words (36)

10/3/2008, 3:19 pm -- by Djere | 2 Comments

I hate 24/7 news coverage of anything.

There’s nothing new to say.

Nobody listens when they say it.

It doesn’t make any sort of difference whatsoever.

All I know is that today the House passed legislation that will allow the government to further interfere in a credit market the government screwed up to begin with!

And after passing said legislation, the Democratic House leadership went on to publicly suckle the teats of Barack Obama.

Barack Obama couldn’t find his backside with both hands and a Tom Tom. Obama has absolutely no qualifications to be President, and he knows it.

–JJM

One Hundred Words (35)

09/30/2008, 1:55 pm -- by Djere | No Comments

With the financial meltdown and $700B ridiculousness eating up the media’s “Foam at the mouth about how wonderful Obama is” time, illegal immigrants aren’t in the forefront of our collective psyche.

Illegals “do the jobs Americans won’t,” like landscaping, housekeeping, bussing tables, and picking fruits and vegetables. Why won’t Americans ‘do’ these jobs? They don’t pay well enough and they’re dangerous, so illegals do them for less than Americans are willing to.

Get rid of the aliens, and hotels/commercial farms will have to provide safer environments and higher wages for LEGAL immigrants to work.

A living wage without government interference!

–JJM

One Hundred Words (34)

09/18/2008, 11:00 am -- by Josh J | No Comments

It’s not that I think I’m anything great. Honestly, I’m not here to brag. But sometimes, I put my pants on both legs at the same time. I did it just this morning.

It’s not even that hard, if you’re sitting down. In fact, I find it easier than if I were to put them on one leg at a time while standing up. On they went, both legs at once, without a thought nor scarcely any effort.

But again, I’m nothing special. Please believe me. I put my jacket on one arm at a time, just like anyone else.

–JDJ

One Hundred Words (33)

09/12/2008, 10:15 am -- by Steve | 2 Comments

My umbrella broke last week: stuck closed, locked up, defeated by the rust of a year.

I came outside today to a warm and steady rain, harder than drizzle, softer than patter. There was nothing to do but walk, as my suitcoat swerved from black to dappled grey to darkest black again. Soaked through, I walked and prayed, waited at — and waded through — busy, car-choked intersections, and skidded along uneven stones that mark the upscale sidewalks.

I will get an umbrella soon. I need one. But this morning, life felt more real and imminent. Dressing up, walking out, facing the rain, alone.

–sm

One Hundred Words (32)

09/10/2008, 10:16 am -- by MC-B | No Comments

I have two classes on a given day. One professor seems self-absorbed and condescending when answering questions. He requires that we turn our cell phones off — completely off — because vibrations, even shielded by knapsacks, are too disruptive. I wouldn’t want to be disruptive, so I comply. In a few weeks, some phones have already gone off at full volume.

The same day, I have another, much larger, class with an engaging, funny, interesting professor. He respects our work. I don’t think he said anything about phones. I haven’t heard a single phone go off during his class since day one.

–MCB

One Hundred Words (31)

08/25/2008, 2:30 pm -- by Chloe | 2 Comments

I heard this in Target’s shoe section on Sunday:

Mom: Don’t you pull that tooth out, Morgan Bradley!
Daughter: Why not?
Mom: Because the tooth fairy is off tonight.
Daughter: No, she’s not! Really?
Mom: She’s in Jamaica. Didn’t you know that? She’s on vacation. I wish I was in Jamaica with the tooth fairy.

Later, the daughter wandered the shoe aisles, preparing to ask for Hannah Montana paraphernalia.

Daughter: Mom! Mom, where are you?
Mom: (sneaking around the aisles) Mom isn’t here right now! Please check back later. (snicker)
Daughter: Mo-om!

I could enjoy being that kind of mom.

–CLA

One Hundred Words (30)

08/20/2008, 10:00 am -- by Steve | No Comments

Any list of the best Biblical names has to start with Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz, second son of Isaiah, immortalized in chapter 8 of his father’s book. The NKJV translates his name literally as “Speed the Spoil, Hasten the Booty.”

What’s “Hasten the Booty” not a good motto for? It was perfect for a college intramural water polo team, I’ll tell you that.

The strangest thing I ever learned about this name is that Corrie Ten Boom, that brave Dutch woman who saved so many Jews from the Holocaust and survived three months in a German concentration camp, used it for her cat.

–sm

One Hundred Words (29)

08/16/2008, 9:00 am -- by Steve | 3 Comments

Medieval standards, it seems, were lower in every department. Hygiene was hit-or-miss, you ate whatever you could, and there weren’t nearly as many comfortable places to sit.

But perhaps nowhere is the chasm separating us from antiquity wider than female beauty. Toss a wig and a silly hat on me and I could pass for Helen of Troy! A really tall, flat-chested version, but still…

Fathered by cygnine Zeus, she was repeatedly kidnapped for her unsurpassed beauty, attracted every red-blooded Greek, and caused a deadly war through infidelity. She even blinded a poet who insulted her!

And she looked like THIS?

–sm

One Hundred Words (28)

08/14/2008, 10:00 pm -- by Connie | No Comments

What’s my best memory from the wedding last week? Well, the ceremony was great, the dinner was good, and the reception room looked ama-za-zing. And almost everyone from our families was able to be there, which was very nice.

But for me, the best memory was watching my younger daughter join her father and her sister (the bride) for the father/daughter dance.

The three twirled and swirled a bit, then their dad did a double swing-out to perfection — which I, of course, captured on film. Their smiles were breathtaking and priceless. I think it could cheer up my darkest day.

–CSM

One Hundred Words (27)

08/12/2008, 1:00 pm -- by Erin | 1 Comment

Today I came downstairs, absolutely certain that my brain was going to implode. I had misplaced my passport, and today I am leaving the country.

Up and down the newly carpeted stairs, the dull thudding of my feet and my heartbeat in my ears; unconcealed curses aimed at no one began my day.

I considered crying — but what good would that do? Emotionalism isn’t really the answer to such a practical problem, and besides, breaking down in a mess of snot and mascara never solved any problems.

It had fallen down behind my jewelry box drawer. How simple.

–EC

One Hundred Words (26)

07/29/2008, 9:00 am -- by Mike | 1 Comment

Do you love to sweat? Do you love the Garden State? If you do, you will love my plans for Saturday. Six friends and I will be running the River to Sea Relay, a 92-mile relay race across New Jersey. We will be starting at 7:25 AM at Milford, on the Delaware River, and hopefully 13 hours later will collapse into the Atlantic Ocean, but not before traveling through 34 beautiful New Jersey towns. The sights, the sounds — and yes, that unique New Jersey smell — will be enjoyed by all. I’ll share pictures and a write-up next Monday.

–JMJ

One Hundred Words (25)

07/28/2008, 9:00 am -- by Steve | No Comments

I may own more ironic T-shirts than any other registered Republican. I don’t know that I’m proud of this, but they sure beat sweater vests — and they’re useful when meeting people.

One of the best is the iconic, pink “I’m Too Pretty To Work.” On me, the assertion is incontrovertibly false, so missing this obvious dissonance marks you as overly polite or serious, maybe even slow.

But I watch most closely those who find it too funny, who draw undue attention to obvious absurdity. For I have found that those challenged by both irony and empathy are often unworthy of trust.

–sm

One Hundred Words (24)

07/10/2008, 9:00 am -- by Connie | No Comments

Do you know what are amazing? Babies.

I recently learned something stunning from a ministry teaching by Arthur Burke. He cited a secular researcher who discovered a group of adults who had committed suicide on the date their mothers attempted or thought about attempting an abortion when these adults had been babies. They found the connection when they contacted the mothers. Those people apparently had not been suicidal on the days preceding or following this date, only on that specific date. And none of the grown adults knew about their mothers’ abortion plans. Wrap your head around that.