Bible Discussion — Ephesians 5-6

02/26/2009, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | 3 Comments

This week, Bweinh.com discusses the last two chapters of Ephesians, in our final Bible discussion!

Joining us for the last time are our special guests from both parts of Romans 8 — Capt. Steve Carroll, Rev. Dave Maxon, and Maj. Doug Jones!

Read it all here!

PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS:
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14-15 | 16-17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
Esther: 1-2 | 3-5 | 6-8 | 9-10
Acts: 1 | 2 | 3-4 | 5 | 6-7 | 8 | 9-10 | 11-12 | 13-14
15-16 | 17-18 | 19-20 | 21-22 | 23-24 | 25-26 | 27-28
Jonah: 1-2 | 3-4
Ephesians: 1-2 | 3-4

INTRODUCTION:
Tom:
Paul closes with a primer on living a Godly life, quickly hitting the major areas of most people\’s experience.

Capt. Steve:
Jesus railed so hard against the empty legalism of the Pharisees, because He was not offering a new system of rules but rather a relationship with the Creator through Himself.

These two chapters contain two sets of ‘rules’ — both are intended to show an example of the loving relationship that we can and should have with our God. But both sets are often misused: to further unloving and sometimes hateful agendas; to pursue a Pharasaical religion of accomplishment; and even to follow a lazy religion, because it is easier to attempt to follow rules with the safety net of forgiveness, than to develop an authentic relationship.

Maj. Jones:
It is my privilege to participate in this final Bible discussion in this forum. God has been glorified in these discussions.

David:
The final two chapters of Ephesians offer a great resource for Christian living — they speak to men, women, and children and their various roles within families and the community. The teaching on “slaves and masters” is also very relevant if you simply replace those words with “employees and employers.”

Pastor Dave:
These chapters are a reminder of how Christians should act and think. Above all, we must stand against the wiles of the devil, those compromises the world would have us make to “fit in.”

Job:
As the Church took root in places like Ephesus, I’m sure many of the early Fathers must have desired — at times — for a return to the laws of the old covenant. Immorality of all kinds must have seemed so incongruous with the recent teachings of Christ, yet perhaps ran relatively rampant. Paul had to remind the early believers of their greater moral heritage without stealing any of Liberty’s thunder.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Connie:
Chapter five was a great follow-up to our church’s sermon on Sunday, which was on light. We need to set our hearts to walk as children of light, and this chapter admonishes us to walk in love, light and wisdom. I believe that when we walk in the light, we’ll be in position to pick the rest of that up as we go.

Job:
Paul tells us in 5:1 to imitate God. I guess I’d always read that, for one reason or another, as imitating Jesus. One could make a convincing argument, though, that Paul meant it interchangeably — but if we were given the charge to imitate God without knowing the narrative of Jesus, the results would be dramatically different.

Capt. Steve:
Whenever you find a list of rules for righteous living in the New Testament, you invariably find a verse pointing to the heart of the law.

Pastor Dave:
When we die to ourselves, we are a “sweet-smelling aroma” to God.

Steve:
Paul urges the Ephesians to specifically pray for him — of all people — for boldness in preaching the Gospel. He didn’t take anything for granted, even after years of faithful witness under persecution.

Tom:
In verses 31 and 32 of chapter 5, was Paul saying a husband and wife becoming one was a mystery to all of us, or just to him as a bachelor?

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Job: Leads to Debauchery
Josh: Talk of Fools
Pastor Dave: Shod Your Feet
Connie: Girded With Truth
Steve: Alert
David: Ambassador In Bonds (better than Alice in Chains)
Capt. Steve: Divine Imitations

Continued here!

Bible Discussion — Ephesians 3-4

02/21/2009, 12:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com discusses the next two chapters of Ephesians.

Read it all here!

INTRODUCTION:
David:
British statesman Benjamin Disraeli once responded to anti-Semitic remarks made by an Irishman by pointing out that while his ancestors were “priests in Solomon\’s temple,” the other man’s forefathers were still “brutal savages on an unknown island.”

There is a truth there, often forgotten, that Paul illustrates in the early chapters of Ephesians. God had taken great pains to reveal the truth to one group of people (Jews), establishing down through the ages a witness to the rest of the world (Gentiles), that there is one true and living God with holy standards. But now, in Christ, He has fused the two together to create one new man — the Christian — and Paul was utterly amazed to find that he was given the privilege of announcing that good news to the Gentiles!

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
In 3:18, Paul says he wants us to understand Christ\’s love: the width, the length, the depth, the height, pretty precise stuff. Then he turns around in verse 19 and lets us know that, never mind, it surpasses all knowledge.

Steve:
Paul refers to the pagan Gentiles as those who have “given themselves over to lewdness,” which he identifies as a combination of “uncleanness” and “greediness.” That’s the problem, isn’t it? It’s not just that people want to do wrong — it’s that so often, they just can’t get enough.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Less Than The Least; One
Steve: Clamor

Continued here!

One Hundred Words (47)

02/20/2009, 3:54 pm -- by David | 1 Comment

There’s a difference between good conversation that involves humorous banter — or even deep spiritual truths — and oneupsmanship.

They’re about as similar as volleyball and that game that erupts at birthday parties when someone bats a balloon across the room and another person bats it back. In one, the point is to keep things going and involve everyone in the room (even the killjoy who shouts, “You’re going to break something!”). In the other, the goal is to hit some unreturnable shot to score a point.

In conversation, as in the party game, no one is impressed by the person who spikes the balloon.

–DFS

Fortune and Judgment

02/19/2009, 10:00 am -- by David | No Comments

“They said among themselves, ‘No doubt this man is a murderer…,’ but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds and said that he was a god.” –Acts 28:4-6

How often are our opinions of others based on the outward circumstances of their lives? Paul was a prisoner; he escaped a shipwreck, washed up on a strange shore, and was bitten by a poisonous snake. For these people, that was enough evidence to issue a judgment: “Surely he is a murderer whom, although he has escaped the sea, yet justice will not allow to live.” Case closed.

But wait! After further review — when a long time passes and he doesn’t keel over dead — the same crowd decides he is obviously a god! And all based on the external appearance of his life.

I wish this were confined to 1st-century Malta, but this kind of thinking was an integral part of Old Testament theology too. Why else would Job’s comforters be unable to believe that he wasn’t hiding some secret sins to account for his misfortunes. This explains why Isaiah’s prophesies described Jesus as “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief,” whose contemporaries would “esteem him stricken of God.” And it continued: when Jesus told the disciples it would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, he found them “astonished beyond measure.” It completely flipped their theology. After all, riches were blessings from God, while the poor were clearly cursed.

Matthew Henry has written that the sign of God\’s blessing in the Old Testament was prosperity, but in the New Testament, it was adversity. Why has our thinking not transformed to line up? Why do we still judge people, and ministries, by the whims of fortune rather than by their Biblical fruit?

We see TV ministries or megachurches that abandon the Bible or embrace what Rich Mullins called “trendy religion that makes cheap clichÃ©s out of timeless truths” and we say, “God can\’t bless that!” But then they grow a church of thousands, and we buy their book, touting them as the men of the hour! Theirs is the new plan of God for the church! Question that and you hear, “They’re reaching millions of people for Jesus every Sunday — what are you doing?”

Well, what I am doing is trying to live my life in obedience to the Holy Spirit, which is all the success there is in the Kingdom of God. To figure out which church, or man, or woman, is doing it “right,” may require us to read our Bibles and pray, rather than watching the outward circumstances to level judgments about what is or isn\’t of God.

But — if anything — I\’d bet on those facing adversity. It\’s a new testament and a new theology that demands a vigilance to see the truth.

Bad Marketing

02/13/2009, 2:16 pm -- by David | 2 Comments

I have seen two new businesses around town that have not inspired my confidence. Against all Odds Hair Salon is the first. I figure, what are the chances of getting a good haircut there?

The second is One Hour Heating & Air Conditioning.

“Hey, your guy was here and fixed our air conditioner. It worked for about an hour — and now it’s down again.”

“Yeah, so what’s the problem?”

Bible Discussion — Ephesians 1-2

02/12/2009, 12:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com starts discussing the first two chapters of Ephesians.

Read it all here!

INTRODUCTION:
David:
In this book, Paul sends no personal greetings, although he and the elders were dear friends, who wept at their parting in Acts 20, and he deals with no personal issues in the church. These unusual clues lead some to believe that Ephesians was not intended solely for Ephesus, but was designed to serve as a circular epistle for the Gentiles, to enumerate and expound on the riches and responsibility of holy living, which we inherited from Christ Jesus. If that’s true, this is the only epistle written particularly for you and me — to welcome us to the kingdom and lay down the ground rules.

Connie:
Paul, speaking “through” the Ephesians, wants each of us to know that we, as Christians, are all members of the Body of Christ — the Church. He then goes on to expand on how we grow into that role.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
1:14, depending on your translation, describes the Holy Spirit as either a deposit (NIV), an earnest (KJV), or the guarantee (NKJV) of our inheritance. I find this to be a very interesting way to view not just the Holy Spirit, but how we, as believers, experience the Kingdom of God here on earth.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Children of Wrath; Aliens of the Commonwealth
David: ALIENS-NO-MORE
Connie: Cornerstone
Steve: Boast

Continued here!

How Should We Then Live? — Part Two

02/8/2009, 10:00 pm -- by David | No Comments

Click here for part one, the introduction of how Romans 12 is an excellent source of information on how a Christian should live.

Its first point is more relational than directional: it’s in the exhortation to “present your bodies a living sacrifice.” Right relationship with God rests on this “presentation.” We are independent, free-thinking humans, and God will not exercise lordship over us without our consent. Being born again, being saved, becoming a Christian — whatever language you are comfortable with — it all begins when we surrender our lives to God through Jesus Christ. We accept His sacrifice for our sins, and in return, we sacrifice ourselves to Him. But we are not like the sacrifices of old that died on the altar — we continue to live for him. Believing in God and belonging to God are not the same thing.

The second and third lessons from the chapter are in the words “conform” and “transform” (KJV). We are told not to conform to the world, but rather to allow ourselves to be transformed, by the renewing of our minds.

There\’s a great cartoon in January\’s Reader’s Digest: a psychiatrist is advising his patient to visualize an Applications folder in his mind. “Okay, do you see the file labeled Suicidal Thoughts?” he asks. “Just click on that and drag it over to the trash icon…”

It really is similar to that. We live in a fallen world, a fallen system, and it must be purged from our minds and replaced with the Gospel. We have to learn to tell the difference between what God values and what the world values — and realize why they aren’t the same. Why do we have to do this? The first reason, of course, is to place us in right relationship with God, but the text goes on to describe a secondary reason: “so that we might prove what is that good and acceptable will of God.”

Prove to whom? The rest of the world; we are to be examples of what God expects from people. My whole life belongs to Him and He wants to use me as an example. This is the root of Paul’s teaching that we must live not by our own conscience, but by another\’s. What I do in my life is always examined by its effect on others. How well does it reflect God\’s will?

Once this “presentation” is done and we have begun to actively reject the world, replacing it with God\’s plan, we can move on to more specific things. In verse three, we are told to cultivate humility, then Paul begins to teach on what is perhaps the most important aspect of how to live: the Body of Christ.

When Paul looked for the best analogy to explain a Christian’s place in this world, he found the human body. Christianity was never meant to be a solitary experience, and when you become a Christian, you must come into contact with other believers to fulfill the purposes of your life. In the same way that a human body could not function with a torso in Georgia, a head somewhere in California, and the arms and legs scattered around the Midwest, neither can the Body — nor its individual parts — function properly when detached from each other. They soon wither and die. So your first task as a Christian is to seek fellowship with other Christians. After that, the things Paul taught in the next few verses will largely happen by themselves.

Are you called to preach? Then you will begin to develop a desire and an ability to preach. Are you called to administrate? You will. Are you called to teach? You will. Are you called to serve? Serve. Called to give? Give.

Let the Holy Spirit work to develop the gifts God has placed within you, so that you can function in His Body. You need to do this, not only for yourself, but for others, as they too are drawn into the body to receive and give. You have what they need. You need what they have.

Bible Discussion — Jonah 3-4

02/3/2009, 10:00 pm -- by Bweinh | 1 Comment

This week, Bweinh.com finishes Jonah, discussing the last two chapters!

Read it all here!

INTRODUCTION:
David:
“And the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time…” Can you imagine a God — so patient with sinners and saints — that He would accept having to speak twice to a child to get something done? It blows my mind.

Steve:
So Jonah walks into Nineveh, and his wildest dreams come true: complete repentance, from the top on down. Only then we find out that this dream was really his nightmare — and the man whose own life had just been spared was resentful of God’s abundant mercy to others.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
The first verse: the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time. After all that, did he really need a reminder?

Steve:
The king of Nineveh meant business — no one was even allowed to drink water until they heard whether God would relent. And what were they really going to do if a bull broke loose and went for the stream?

Connie:
From the text, it looks like Nineveh was so large it took Jonah three days to walk through it — thus his message had to be repeated several times over those three days. I\’d always thought of Jonah as a short little story, reinforced by the short-tempered ending.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Better Off Dead
David: Withered Gourd
Connie: Pity on the Plant
Steve: Relent

Continued here!

Super Bowl Haiku Prediction 4

01/30/2009, 4:36 pm -- by David | No Comments

Big Ben strikes the hour
A loud and terrible sound
Kurt pockets the ring!

How Should We Then Live?

01/30/2009, 11:30 am -- by David | No Comments

Several years ago there was a lot of buzz about a must-read book by Francis Schaeffer, entitled How Should We Then Live? People seemed captivated by the prospect of getting an answer on how a Christian should live and they used the book — or at least its title — as a springboard for their own thoughts and sermons on the subject. Charles Colson even followed up with a book, which I have not read, called How Should We Now Live?

After I finished the book, I had the distinct impression that someone — either them or me — had misunderstood the book. The Bible verse it referenced (Ezekiel 33:10) actually translates, “How can we hope to survive?,” after the Jews had turned their backs on God. It had nothing to do with the very important question, “How should a Christian live?,” but rather, “How can we hope to survive if we turn our backs on God?” The book seemed to pursue the textual question, as Schaeffer examines “the rise and decline of Western thought and culture,” so I imagine there were some disappointed purchasers who had expected some kind of Walking With God for Dummies.

It was a thick book, filled with a very long and intricate examination of Western culture; I remember it chiefly for two things. The first thing is the assertion that the Renaissance and the Reformation were two arms of the same movement, carried out by people who reacted differently to the repression of the Catholic Church in the realms of art, literature, music, and other fields. The men and women of the Reformation rejected the authority of the church and turned to the Bible instead. Those in the world did the same, but looked to classical learning for a replacement.

(The second was the art, including a drawing of Leonardo da Vinci\’s “David.” Our grandkids were visiting while I was reading it, and I heard my grandson yell from behind my back to his parents: “Grandpa\’s reading a book with naked men in it!”)

Then and now, there remains a tremendous hunger to have the Christian life simplified for us. We know we are Christians. We have learned the doctrines and idiosyncrasies of our religious traditions. We know where we\’re going when it\’s all over. But don\’t we all, at times, grope blindly in the dark, doubting not the facts of the Christian life, but whether our interpretations of those facts are valid? Life is filled with victories and defeats; we sometimes consider victories an affirmation of our path, and defeats as a sure sign of our error. In fact, neither one is necessarily true.

So the hunger remains. I think that is why The Purpose-Driven Life was so successful. People want to know the point: enough guessing! What is my life supposed to look like? What am I supposed to do? What is God\’s will?

But of course the only book that explains that has already been written. It’s funny how so many people will read a shelf full of books to figure out Christianity, while leaving untouched the one book given to us directly from heaven. This was quite a long introduction, but over the next two weeks, I want to share some things from Romans chapter 12, which I think answer the question “How should I live?” better than anything else I have ever found.

George the Criminal

01/23/2009, 11:30 am -- by David | No Comments

Shafts of late afternoon sunlight fall upon the winter forest, bringing a dazzling glow to the fresh snow scattered on the ground, ringing the shaggy heads of ancient trees. At a crossroads near an inn, surrounded by a few squalid hovels, a messenger appears, riding a white horse. He blows a silver trumpet, and as the wretched inhabitants warily assemble, he unravels a parchment and begins to read.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! Good Sir Obama, that fearless knight and champion of the people, hath deposed the great and evil foe of mankind and nature! George W. Bush — killer of polar bears; destroyer of dolphins; slaughterer of seals; torturer of both terrorists and tortoises — hath fallen! This is that same evil man who descended into the deep places of the earth and brought forth the plague of oil wherewith he enslaved and exploited his fellow citizens for filthy lucre\’s sake; this is he who delved too deeply, awakening the fires of the dark place, warming the planet and melting the polar caps of ice! He who hath been known to rob from the poor and give to the rich!”

“Yes, citizens, this is that same George W. Bush who strode upon the fields of nations, killing, devouring, and pillaging among not just our enemies but our friends; it is he who hath caused a stench to arise, filling the nostrils of even our staunchest allies. He it was also who brought upon us the wrath of nature, stirring up that race of hardy water-borne malevolent sprites, known as the Hurricane-beasts. How many times in recent years have they invaded with impunity these hallowed shores, decimating the ranks of the poor and downtrodden, leaving the rich and privileged to their life of ease?”

“This same George Bush hath, in fact, estranged us from our allies in the animal kingdom, and senselessly slaughtered our brothers and sisters, the trees! Red oaks, white oaks, majestic sequoias, all hath been slain in their sleep, and in the presence of those dear saplings that were being raised up at their feet! But hark now! For this same vile beast, bane of all existence, hath been vanquished, and Good Sir Obama hath ascended to the throne and now inhabits the White Citadel!”

“How often would his people, the Democrats, have ridden to your succor with wagons of food and bags of gold, only to be thwarted time and time again by the vile Republican army of George W. Bush. ‘Tis these same Democrats which have spent eight years groveling at the foot of the White Citadel, dressed in rags, subsisting on dry beans and moldy bread, while the Republicans feasted inside, on the fat of the land! Obama and these Democratic heroes refused to partake in the feasting until they could reign with you: the poor, the downtrodden, and the broken!”

“So now today, Good Sir Obama, bids you — rejoice! And join him to reign in prosperity and justice!”

To be continued…

Bible Discussion — Jonah 1-2

01/22/2009, 10:31 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com starts a new book, discussing the first two chapters of Jonah!

Read it all here!

INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
I think nearly everyone knows the story of Jonah and the whale — although technically this fish was never named, kind of like the wise men were never counted.

Jonah is a man plucked from obscurity, drafted into service one day, perhaps after praying, “What am I here for?” If so, he didn’t really like the answer.

David:
The book of Jonah is a great study in divine-human relations. Jonah is a man of God, entrusted with a call on his life; yet he has an “attitude.” It\’s an inescapable fact that such men (present company not excluded) still exist today, complicating God\’s plans to reach the world.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
In the NIV, 1:17 says that “the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah.” It takes a certain perspective to see getting swallowed by a fish as providence.

Connie:
In 1:5, every man cried out “to his own god,” but when that didn\’t work, they found Jonah and made sure he was doing the same thing. Why didn\’t they start with that?

Steve:
They sure peppered Jonah with questions after the lots identified him as the source of the trouble, including about his occupation. What if no one had been to blame? Would they have just thrown the nearest lawyer or car salesman overboard?

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Overboard
David: Innocent Blood
Connie: Casting Lots
Steve: Mean Sleeper

Continued here!

The Rising Sun

01/14/2009, 9:30 am -- by David | 4 Comments

GodÊ¼s provision is as faithful as the sunrise, and just as predictable. We know so well that the sun will rise each day, that we actually print the time in the newspaper the day before. We know that seedtime and harvest will continue; we’re so sure of just when they will happen that the Farmer’s Almanac lists the dates for each region of the country — exactly when spring will arrive, and when we can plan on a harvest. GodÊ¼s provision is just as measurable and visible in our lives.

Last week, out of the blue, my boss paid me on Thursday, instead of Friday. I suspected something must be up. What happened next? An unexpected expense that had to be paid Friday morning. After paying that, writing a tithe check, and putting a tank of gas in our car, I informed my wife that we had $60 left for the whole week. Groceries alone run $225. Gasoline is $75.

God’s provision is so constant that I actually enjoyed sitting back to see what would happen next. A $10 check in my wallet that I had forgotten about. A $10 check in the mail. A $70 rebate for a Christmas phone arrives on Saturday. $150 in cash set aside last week by my wife. A $58 check we did not expect.

IÊ¼m not saying that I never worry — itÊ¼s hard not to. But some days itÊ¼s like reading the paper, knowing when the sun will rise so you can sit out on the hill and watch it happen.

The New Year?

01/7/2009, 1:00 pm -- by David | 1 Comment

New Year’s Day has never been a very cheerful time for me. I still remember New Year’s Day 1980. I was at a skating party with my college friends while a song played on the radio: “Are You Ready for The ’80s?” A flirtatious girl was skating with me; she batted her eyes and asked, coyly, “Are you ready for the ’80s?”

“No,” I said. “I wasn\’t done with the 70\’s yet.”

And I meant it: there were too many unresolved issues and disappointments. I wasn\’t ready to move on.

“Is this the new year, or just another night?
Is this the new fear, or just another fright?
Is this the new tear, or just another desperation?”

But I can\’t remember a New Year quite like this one. Everywhere I look I see despair. The headlines are dominated by economic collapse, here and around the world. At home my wife has received word that her school’s paychecks are safe only through May, while the company I work for is suffering through the worst time I have seen in my 15 years there. The last two weeks of the year I literally sold nothing; everything we sell is financed, but we have no one to do the financing.

Short-term, this means a 60% drop in pay. Long-term, it means no job.

Everyone hopes things will change with the New Year, but I can\’t see the difference between 11:59:59 on December 31, 2008 and 12:00:00 on January 1, 2009. Maybe I\’m just a pessimist.

“It\’ll be a day like this one when the world caves in,
when the world caves in,
when the world caves in.”

There has never been another time in my life when we were fighting simultaneous wars on two fronts. At least being hated by half the world for being who we are is familiar. Sadly, so is seeing our troops die for far-off people who don\’t always seem to appreciate it. And then there\’s the Middle East erupting in violence again.

“Is this the Kingdom or just a hit and miss?
I miss direction most in all this desperation.”

After all these years, I still obsess over these disappointments, these unresolved issues. I feel like a man who can\’t run anymore, so I\’ve slowed to a crawl — too burdened down; too encumbered; too confused about which way to go, even on spiritual issues, including church.

We have a daughter, our older one, who has always been a master at twisting words. I remember catching her in a lie once as a teen, and she told us it was “faith” — she was simply “speaking things that were not as though they were.”

Sometimes I struggle with which is faith and which is the lie. Is it faith to pretend things are not the way they are? Or is that the lie?

“Does justice ever find you? Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?”

I\’ve had many good pastors over the years. I remember one of them, Pastor Larkin, preaching that David didn\’t close his eyes and pretend Goliath was a dwarf. He looked him up and down — took his full measure — then said, “Who are you to defy the armies of the Living God?”

So I have no fear of the future, just a dislike for the depressing atmosphere of the present. And I will always prefer the honest song — even if it is the blues.

(All lyrics from “The Blues” by Switchfoot, from Nothing is Sound)

The Year in Review (Part Four)

12/29/2008, 11:00 am -- by David | No Comments

Read part one, part two, and part three!

October:
October brought the worst stock market crash since the Great Depression, as the Dow plummeted 1,874 points while the S&P 500 fell 20%, plunging world markets into turmoil. The only solace I had during this dark time were the cherished resurfacing memories of the August wedding of my favorite niece (Rose) and her wonderful husband (MCB). This ceremony, performed in the same church where my wife and I were married 27 years before, was so touching that it took me a full two months to overcome the emotions and begin writing about it.

Bweinh! was caught up in the financial turmoil when it was revealed that the corporate retirement account was invested in a subprime baseball card collection belonging to Djere, which was mistakenly thrown out by his mother back in April. Djere was also forced to admit he was operating a “Fonzi Scheme,” which involved dressing up like the Happy Days character and hoodwinking people into making contributions to a nonexistent charity, the Free and Genial Society of Walrus Keepers.

In entertainment news, the A-Rod/Madonna story took a tragic turn when Madonna left her husband for her new beau, only to learn what Yankee fans already knew: A-Rod always disappears at the beginning of October. In sports, Joe Torre took the Dodgers to the NLCS, while the Yankees missed the playoffs. The Syracuse football team started 1-6, with the win coming against the Radcliffe School for the Blind, whose mascot, a middle-aged man in a bat costume, still managed to rack up 108 yards on 7 carries, with 2 touchdowns.

November:
In politics, the nation celebrated as Barack Obama won the presidency, inspiring millions of other Americans born with Silly Ear Syndrome with hope that they too coiuld aspire to the nation\’s highest office. Meanwhile, the Big Three automakers made an urgent appeal to Congress for bailout money, but were rebuked for flying to the meeting in three corporate jets. The legislators advised them to take taxis home and leave the corporate jets in Washington, so they can be used to fly congressmen to a fact-finding mission at a resort in Fiji.

On a positive note, gasoline prices began dropping around the nation, eventually bottoming out here at about $1.399 per gallon. This was especially helpful to all those people who lost their jobs when the stinking oil companies raised gas prices to outrageous price-gouging levels for the second straight year, almost singlehandedly destroying the US (and eventually the world’s) economy, because now they were all driving around, looking for new jobs that don’t exist.

The only personal note worth mentioning from November was our disastrous decision to ruin yet another holiday break by gutting our master bathroom, in a “quick remodeling job” that dragged into 2009.

Syracuse started 8-0 in basketball, with upset wins against Florida and defending national champion Kansas to win the CBE Classic — and after a win against Virginia, they could boast wins over teams from the ACC, Big 12, and SEC. Even better, football coach Greg Robinson was finally fired after winning a total of 3 Big East games in 4 seasons.

December:
In the economic world, the bad news continued to fall like a winter storm as Santa Claus announced that he was laying off 14,000 elves — 26% of his total work force — and selling off the naming rights to Christmas in a sealed bid. When the process was completed, Christmas 2008 was officially renamed the Poulin Weed Eater Christmas, and “I\’m Dreaming of a White Poulin Weed Eater Christmas” became the theme song for the ad campaign rolling out the change.

In national politics, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was suspected of wrongdoing when his PayPal account was linked to a vacant Senate seat being offered at auction on eBay. He later elicited some sympathy when he revealed his only motivation was to raise enough money for a hair transplant. In international politics, the Somali Pirate crisis — which began in August, although no pirate commented on the lack of coverage here on Bweinh! — took a turn for the worst when it was confirmed that their numbers were bolstered by unemployed elves, vowing to “paint the skies red with the blood of ”˜The Great Santa,\’” should he attempt to deliver toys in the Middle East.

In sports, SU named a new football coach, and the basketball squad lost its first game of the year on a 60-foot buzzer-beating jumper. After a big win against Memphis on the road, they achieved a promising 12-1 start — but then junior guard Eric Devendorf was suspended for apparently slapping a female student on campus during a late-night argument. “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.”

In personal news, Bweinh! finally received some good news — included in the government bailout plan, the site obtained some Borders gift cards and merchandise, which were liberally distributed among the remaining employees at a scaled-down Christmas party at Trump Tower in NYC. Due to Congressional restrictions, we were not allowed to use the corporate jet to ferry Bweinh!tributors to the party, but a deal was worked out with Poulin to reimburse our airfare as long as we agreed to make the appropriate changes to any greetings extended during the holiday season.

So in that case, may I be the first to say: “Merry Poulin Weed Eater Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Bible Discussion — Ephesians 5-6

Bible Discussion — Ephesians 3-4

One Hundred Words (47)

Fortune and Judgment

Bad Marketing

Bible Discussion — Ephesians 1-2

How Should We Then Live? — Part Two

Bible Discussion — Jonah 3-4

Super Bowl Haiku Prediction 4

How Should We Then Live?

George the Criminal

Bible Discussion — Jonah 1-2

The Rising Sun

The New Year?

The Year in Review (Part Four)

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