The Year in Review (Part Three)

12/19/2008, 10:00 am -- by David | 6 Comments

July:
In politics, the fireworks got started when Jesse Jackson was caught articulating his desire to emasculate Barack Obama for “speaking down to black people,” after Obama espoused personal responsibility in raising children. Perhaps Rev. Jackson’s desire for sterilization was just misplaced?

With the Democratic primary finally resolved, Obama began his heads-up match with John McCain by touring Europe, speaking to 200,000+ in Germany and wowing the various characters inhabiting the nation of France. Meanwhile, John McCain responded with lunch at a German restaurant in Berlin, Pennsylvania. A good indicator of things to come.

In entertainment news, the summer movie hits were Wall-E, a dark cartoon exploring the forbidden world of robot love, and the latest Batman movie (The Dark Knight), hyped to an epic level of anticipation after the accidental death of star Heath Ledger from a drug overdose. In the wrold of celebrities, baseball star Alex Rodriguez split with his wife after being romantically linked to himself — as well as rapidly fading pop diva Madonna — and star blogger Tom was involved in a late-night scuffle at an Arby\’s in Ithaca, New York, the first of many troubles during his sophomore season with Bweinh!

In personal news, Bweinh! CEO Steve Maxon and his entourage visited the Opelika office, as part of his whirlwind tour of all his U.S. facilities. Our grandkids came for two weeks and our kids all visited for the 4th — giving us a record 14 visitors in the month of July. Good times.

In sports news, Brett Favre un-retired again, and signed a sponsorship deal to promote The Mummy III. In baseball, Tampa Bay\’s Evan Longoria became the first rookie to be named All-Star MVP while starring in a TV series (Desperate Housewives) — and the WNBA has its first brawl, when Lisa Leslie of the L.A. Sparks shows up wearing the same earrings as an opposing player.

August:
As the dog days of August rolled in, the Republican party saw its first glimmer of hope in a dismal presidential race when Joe Biden was announced as Obama\’s running mate. He raised fresh questions about plagiarism when he began his nomination acceptance speech: “I am honored that Senator Kerry would choose me to be his running mate.”

In a further display of Russia\’s new friendliness, they invaded Georgia. Prime Minister Putin appeared at a press conference with President Dmitry “Winky” Medvedev, declaring that the rapid move to democracy has now progressed beyond the Russian border. In other news, John Edwards confessed to an affair, giving me yet another reason to dislike a man I never liked anyway.

At the movies, we watched The Mummy III and Indiana Jones IV on the same day — I am still confused about which special effects, lame dialogue, and ridiculous plot twists go with which one. The prospect that I may have watched National Treasure III just adds to the confusion. These types of movies are attractive for only one reason: as an excuse to consume an entire tub of popcorn and a barrel of Coke for the low, low price of $55.

Hurricane season got off to a roaring start in Alabama, as our neighbors boarded up their windows and stocked up on emergency supplies three times in a month — once for Eduardo, once for Faye, and once when they heard Russia had invaded Georgia.

In sports, Michael Phelps won a record eight gold medals in Olympic competition, the Yankees faded from contention, and three Syracuse Orangemen finally get the team in the news — for sexual assault charges.

September:
Hurricanes Gustav and Ike wrought devastation on the Southeast and Gulf Coast, but paled in comparison to Hurricane Sarah from Alaska, who stormed onto the national scene: annihilating the Democratic convention, reviving the floundering McCain campaign, and single-handedly turning around the dying SNL franchise.

A financial meltdown began, as Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, Lehmann Bros., AIG, and Washington Mutual Bank all began to fail, while economists continued to debate whether we were in a recession. In a sign of the times, Canadian currency actually surpassed the U,S. dollar in value for the first time, and Americans are caught sneaking over the border into Mexico.

In entertainment news, Bweinh! blogger Tom injured his finger and became addicted to painkillers; he was caught at 2 AM in a bad section of Rochester trying to buy prescription-strength ibuprofen from an undercover DEA agent. The Syracuse football team started its season 0-2, including a home loss to the mighty Akron Zips. Clearly it\’s going to be a long season.

Goosing the Economy?

12/17/2008, 5:46 pm -- by David | No Comments

The USA Today has the headline today: “Fed GetsÂ Creative to Goose Economy.”

Are you kidding me? Who approved that headline?

Goosing a person involves — to my knowledge — sneaking up behind them and initiating physical contact in a way that only a doctor should perform. The dictionary defines goose (verb) as: Slang, to poke (a person) between the buttocks to startle.

The economy is bad enough as is — leave it alone!

The Year in Review (Part Two)

12/12/2008, 12:00 pm -- by David | 2 Comments

Read part one here!

April:
In politics, one of the largest April Fool’s Day hoaxes in history is pulled off, when an American negotiator suggests beginning a trial placement of Patriot missiles in Poland, then ships a half-dozen missiles with instructions to place them in a corner of each round silo. Chaos ensues as teams work around the clock for several days to accomplish the impossible. President Bush later apologizes, admitting privately that he completely understood the confusion.

In other news, the international space station was rocked by a gust of wind from Earth after Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn is found to be pregnant, and the entire population of the United States screams, “SHE HAS A SISTER?!?!?”

In more entertainment news, world-renowned artist Robert Indiana, famous for his LOVE sculpture that first appeared in 1966, returned to the public eye. His original sculpture — described at the time as groundbreaking — consisted of the letter L, followed by an O canted to the right, standing over a VE. In April 2008 he followed up that success with a HOPE sculpture, consisting of an H, followed by an O canted to the right, standing over the letters PE.

It only took him 22 years to come up with this brilliant follow-up. I hope he had a part-time job or something. Meanwhile, “Hannah Montana” caused a stir when she appeared in a photo shoot, wearing only a blanket, canted to the right, standing over nothing at all.

In the world of sports, the NHL playoffs got underway; the Philadelphia Flyers beat Washington in the first round on the strength of Danny BriÃ¨re’s offense and the stellar goaltending of Marty Biron. Go Flyers!

May:
The Presidential primaries continued to drag on, and Barack Obama\’s campaign took another hit when his pastor, Jeremiah Wright, released a new book: The Racially Tinged Rantings of Jabez. Obama vowed to stick by him. Only a few days later, however, Pastor Wright referred to Obama as a “politician” in a TV interview, causing Obama to denounce him and completely disassociate himself from the church. Hillary Clinton won Pennsylvania and lost North Carolina, but stayed in the race, claiming that she could “galvanize the white vote.”

In personal news, my family attends our nephew’s wedding in New York in a beautiful stone church built in the 1800s, with a reception at the historic Carriage House restaurant. It is a beautiful ceremony with the groom and all his groomsmen wearing tuxedos and flip-flops. For me, the highpoint was still when several of us discovered the letters on the sign outside the reception hall could be rearranged to read “Pirate Lion & Oxen Camp.” And they were.

In sports it was disclosed that Roger Clemens apparently carried on a decade-long affair with country singer Mindy McCready, starting when she was still in her teens. I detest this guy more and more every time I hear his name. Meanwhile, my beloved Flyers closed out their second-round series against the Montreal Canadiens on the strength of eight goals from forward R.J. Umberger. Every long-time fan knows what this means: Umberger will be the first player traded in the offseason.

Meanwhile, in the NBA, Carmelo Anthony was arrested for DUI and the Nuggets flamed out in their series against the Los Angeles Lakers. In baseball, the Yankees’ first season in a dozen years without Joe Torre at the helm began with a slump, while Torre’s new team, the Dodgers, stood five games over .500.

June:
Summer 2008 began with a nationwide scare reminiscent of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!, as people all over the country were sickened by salmonella poisoning purported to be from fast-food tomatoes. The outbreak was later traced to Mexican jalapeno peppers, but somehow Attack of the Killer Jalapenos! doesn\’t roll off the tongue as well, and never got the press coverage it rightly deserved.

Other than that, it was business as usual across the nation; gasoline climbed to over $4 per gallon, the big auto companies suffered devastating losses, the West Coast raged with wildfires, and the Midwest dealt with massive flooding again — all of which, of course, was President Bush\’s fault. Meanwhile, Obama captured enough delegates to claim victory in the Democratic primary, but Hilary Clinton refused to concede until a deal was worked out to include delegates from Michigan and Florida. Eventually, she still lost and had to go home — to Bill Clinton.

In entertainment news, the nation mourned the passing of Tim Russert and George Carlin. Carlin\’s death reminded me of one of his early routines, where he talked about what a great thing the two-minute warning is in football. He went on to say how nice it would be if life worked that way. In his fantasy, an angel would come down just before you die, blow a whistle, and give you two minutes to get everything right. I guess he knows now that it doesn\’t work that way. In sports, the Flyers were eliminated in the conference finals by Pittsburgh, who then lost to Detroit in the Stanley Cup finals. The Boston Celtics won the NBA Championship.

The Year In Review

12/5/2008, 4:00 pm -- by David | No Comments

Note: Dave Barry again refused to write a year in review article for us, so I am once again filling in.

January:
The new year opened with a bang politically, as Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee opened their presidential primary campaigns with big wins in Iowa. Hillary Clinton climbed back into the race with a win in New Hampshire, based mainly on the strength of a tearful moment captured on camera and televised nationwide. Terrell Owens teared up after the Dallas Cowboys’ playoff loss and quickly became the favorite in the upcoming South Carolina primary. In international politics, Iran attempted to attack the US Navy in the Persian Gulf with five rowboats, providing an apt analogy for Ron Paul\’s assault on the Republican front-runners.

In entertainment news, Britney Spears dominated the headlines by suffering a breakdown, losing her children, and facing criticism from Dr. Phil, who told the nation, “She needs help.” She attempted a comeback in a much-panned live appearance at the Grammys. Not only was she fiercely criticized for her physical appearance, but she was further humiliated when a Sea World spokesman noted that much of her routine was eerily similar to their killer whale show. “Other than eating live fish and splashing the crowd, everything she did can be seen every day at the 10:20, 2:20, or 4:20 shows.”

In sports, the unsinkable Jose Canseco floated to the surface again with new charges against Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez, and Sen. Henry Waxman of California. The confusing charges involved an alleged Clemens appearance at a Canseco cookout, and a confirmed Clemens appearance at a congressional hearing — where he brought in his nanny, who later confirmed, under oath, that Waxman, chairman of the hearing, was in fact the ugliest man she had ever seen.

February:
In politics, the primary season was in full swing, and John McCain solidified his place at the head of the Republican pack, while Mitt Romney ducked out to allow the administration to focus on the wars in Iraq & Afghanistan. Huckabee vowed to stay in until the bitter end, running on a shoestring budget. Although the decision was initially praised, his campaign soon suffered bad press when, at a rally in Texas, a man holding a “We Need Change” sign turned out to be his budget director, panhandling for the campaign.

In entertainment news, the writers’ strike finally came to an end, and no one noticed the difference.

In sports news, baseball’s spring training began, with 63-year-old Roger Clemens bench-pressing a Greyhound bus while denying that he ever took any performance-enhancing substances. In football, Eli Manning led the New York Giants to a Super Bowl win, marking the first time in league history that back-to-back Super Bowls were won by goofy-looking guys with big ears.

March:
In the world of politics, Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York was caught by a wiretap (which he approved) ordering and consorting with prostitutes. It is reported that he spent more than $80,000 on the service, suggesting “multiple occurrences.” If not, the sum would certainly explain his trouble balancing the state’s budget. He was immediately replaced by the lieutenant governor, who is legally blind — explaining why he made such a good sidekick for Spitzer in the first place.

In a further sign of Russia\’s rapid democratization, Russia’s Vladimir Putin appeared at a press conference wearing a sock puppet named “Winky,” and nominated him to replace Putin as president. The sock puppet accepted (while Putin drank a glass of water, spilling much of it on his shirt) under one condition: that Putin assume the title of prime minister. Winky was then shifted to Putin\’s right hand, where he quickly signed a bill giving the prime minister all powers formerly assigned to the president.

In election news, Hilary Clinton angered Barack Obama by offering him a part-time job stuffing envelopes for her campaign, though she still trailed him in the delegate count. She quickly changed the offer to the role of vice-president, however, calling it the “dream ticket.” Obama quickly told her to dream on. Meanwhile, Obama\’s campaign took a hit when his pastor released a series of motivational videos, including: “Death to White America,” “The Nation You\’ve Always Hated in Flames in 15 Days,” and “Your Best Revolution Now.”

In sports, the baseball season opened with games between Boston and Oakland in Japan. The series nearly ended in disaster when David Ortiz visited a beach and became the center of Greenpeace protests over whether he should be left alone or returned to sea. In the entertainment world, Al Gore admitted that he was originally cast in the title role for Brokeback Mountain. The deal fell through when he could not lose weight fast enough to meet production schedules, leaving the role of the mountain for America’s sweetheart, William Shatner.

Bible Discussion — Acts 27-28

12/3/2008, 12:30 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com moves on to the final two chapters of Acts!

PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS:
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14-15 | 16-17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
Esther: 1-2 | 3-5 | 6-8 | 9-10
Acts: 1 | 2 | 3-4 | 5 | 6-7 | 8 | 9-10 | 11-12 | 13-14
15-16 | 17-18 | 19-20 | 21-22 | 23-24 | 25-26

INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
Paul’s voyage and arrival at Rome are chronicled in these final two chapters: it’s exciting stuff.

David:
The life of Paul, as recorded in the Bible, ends with the book of Acts — but his doctrine fills the rest of the New Testament.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
The ships of the time were big enough to hold 276 men, plus provisions.

Connie:
Even then, they named the differnt weather phenomena. One of the winds that gave them trouble on the voyage was called Euroclydon.

David:
When the angel appears to Paul during the storm, he specifically mentions the need for Paul to testify to Caesar. How important was this one mission? Everything in the last half-dozen chapters has pointed to it as inevitable and inescapable.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
David: Publius
Josh: Twenty Fathoms; The Shipwreck
Connie: Euroclydon
Steve: To the Lee

Continued here!

The Second Thanksgiving

11/25/2008, 10:30 am -- by David | No Comments

So much has been written about the First Thanksgiving in 1621 that the follow-up celebration in 1622 has been all but forgotten, by historians and citizens alike. At this time of year, I think it would be helpful to look back at that second celebration, to glean what we can from the complex Pilgrim-Indian interplay that helped found this great institution.

Everyone knows that Thanksgiving originated with the feast held in the autumn of 1621 by the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag to celebrate the colony’s first successful harvest. It was well-attended by over 90 Wampanoag braves, the great Indian king Massasoit, and his daughter, Princess Pocahontas, who had recently married Cpt. John Smith, precipitating her invitation by Gov. Miles Standish.

The second year was a little different. To begin with, when John Smith informed Pocahontas of the upcoming celebration — and the expected attendance of her relatives — he was rebuffed by her argument that they had “spent every Thanksgiving with his people,” so this year they would spend it with her parents in the Wampanoag encampment. Miles Standish was informed of the change, and after much discussion, he decided that the colonists would make the trek to the Wampanoag Casino Resort Hotel (located near present-day Piscataway, New Jersey) and celebrate by partaking in ancient American rituals including blackjack, roulette and three-card Monte.

Although many colonists were skeptical, they soon took to the ceremonial tents with fervor. Especially intriguing were the “One-Armed Totems,” which allowed a user to deposit a small coin for a chance to receive a small measure of parched corn; the amount varied depending on the alignment of certain mystical figures that spun on three sticks. The bar, the cherry, and the lemon, among other powerful symbols, could produce anywhere from 5 to 500 kernels of corn on a single turn. Many colonists soon found that a simple sack of coins could win them several pockets full of meal. Consider that the “All-You Can-Eat Buffet” was complimentary for anyone who spent the equivalent of five gold sovereigns, and you can see why this should have been the ideal celebration.

But, as everyone knows, the original celebration was three days long, and that’s where the real trouble started. On day two of the second feast, while some of the men were still deeply engaged in ritual wagering, some others had assembled on a green to watch the Redskins play the Pilgrims in a friendly game of touch football (this game, of course, took place before the Pilgrims moved to Dallas and became the Cowboys under Tom Landry). Many female colonists — including Pocahontas — rebelled, announcing that they would not spend the first shopping day of the Christmas season watching football. The women stormed off, in search of a mall rumored to be under development by the Massapequa Indian tribe to the north.

In the fourth quarter, with the Redskins trailing by 2 points, the Pilgrims were expecting an upset. They appeared to hold the home team to a three-and-out with under three minutes remaining, but the Redskins elected to go for it on fourth down. The ensuing play-action pass resulted in an incompletion to the left side, but an Iroquois official threw a late flag and whistled pass interference on the Pilgrims. This put the Indians in field goal range and they nailed a 43-yard kick to win the game.

Needless to say, the colonists were not happy. They had lost their money to the gaming tables, their wives to the mall, and now a shot at the playoffs to what was obviously a “homer job” by a biased official. So that, my friends, is why there was no third Thanksgiving celebration with the Native Americans — and why today we still celebrate separately.

The Wisdom of Ecclesiastes

11/20/2008, 10:30 am -- by David | No Comments

I saw a car yesterday in traffic, a mid-’80s compact model, and it reminded me of something that I hadn\’t thought of in years. Two decades ago, I was working as a salesman — like I am now, only with far less success — and I wandered into a car dealership to make a sales call. It was yet another rejection when I desperately needed a sale.

The salesman noticed me eyeing a brand-new compact car and began giving me his pitch on the way out. He opened the door and made me slide in; I experienced that “new car smell” and took in the spotlessly clean interior. It was mesmerizing, and as far out of reach as the constellations in the sky. I thanked him, turned down a test drive, and slogged through the snow back to my old junker, which I drove off into the gathering gloom of a wintry evening.

I thought about that car forever, struggling to make ends meet raising a family on my income while my wife stayed home to raise our children. I marveled at a world that seemed so far beyond my reach: a world where people could buy a house, not rent; where people bought their children new clothes whenever they needed them; where people could walk into a dealership and buy a new car if the mood struck. All I could see was my poverty, and I was convinced that this other world would be a happy one indeed.

When I saw that same model, dented and rusted, smoking its way through traffic the other day, I was amazed at how small and unspectacular it really was. I\’m 47 now, almost 48. My wife went back to school after the kids were grown, and now she teaches. We certainly aren\’t rich, but we have bought and discarded a half-dozen new vehicles that all put that low-end GM product to shame. The poverty that shamed me and left me feeling so helpless at times is just a distant memory. Like all young couples, we struggled. but God was always faithful to provide what we needed — we never went without.

We’re reading through Ecclesiastes in our Bible study, and someone asked what value the book holds for a Christian. Well, when you understand it was written by a man of unlimited wealth, who sought to test the limits of the happiness it could buy, always coming up empty, then you see the wisdom of Ecclesiastes.

There is no “other world,” where material wealth brings forth a joyous existence of unbounded peace and contentment. Test if you must, but my experience with automobiles shows me that Solomon knew what he was talking about: “Vanity, vanity! All is vanity!”

Music by Bweinh! — Incorruptible

11/14/2008, 3:00 pm -- by David | No Comments

Listen to or download the song here (for a limited time)!

The voice said, “Cry out!”
And he said, “What shall I cry?”
“All flesh is grass,
And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
Because the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”
Isaiah 40:6-8 (NKJV)

This is the section of Scripture I had been meditating on when I wrote the words for the poem that became “Incorruptible.” It was so different from anything else I had ever read. Isaiah relates it abruptly, in the third person, with no introduction — just an announcement about what the voice had said.

And “he” (whoever he is: Isaiah, John the Baptist…) answers, “What shall I cry?” and it struck me that the burden to preach preceded any thought of what might be said. I have preached like that many times and it has been the absolute best preaching I have ever done. I have no idea what I will say when I open my mouth, but suddenly the message appears, fresh and relevant.

The message given here is one of hopelessness. It uses images of grass and flowers to explore the frailty and transience of man, and his complete lack of hope to stand before an almighty God whose standards of holiness are inescapable. This theme is also explored in the New Testament, where it expands on the hope expressed in the last verse here. For all our frailty, as Peter says, we can be “born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever.”

Bible Discussion — Acts 23-24

11/12/2008, 11:00 am -- by Bweinh | 1 Comment

This week, Bweinh.com moves on to the next two chapters of Acts.

INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
Paul’s day in court dawned — but if he thought that meant his ordeal would soon be over, he didn’t know Felix’s nickname was “The Procrastinator.”

David:
In Isaiah 58:4, God rebuked Israel, saying, “Indeed you fast for strife and debate, and to strike with the fist of wickedness.” Here is perfect example of what God was talking about — fasting to kill Paul.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Steve:
The sheer volume of Roman might that accompanied Paul to Caesarea (23:23). It was 38 miles to Antipatris and another 26 to Caesarea — those were significant distances 2000 years ago. Were those soldiers headed up there anyway, or was it all for Paul?

Connie:
Paul’s reaction when he was first struck by Ananias. He was beaten many times, but this is the first time I can remember reading that he lost his temper and yelled back. And after he recovers, he says he was wrong; God’s word compels us not to react that way to those over us. Oy, such composure. He’s no Glenn Beck.

David:
I like how the chief captain lied in his letter to Felix, claiming he rescued Paul because he knew Paul was a Roman. He actually found that out after he was getting ready to scourge him.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: House Divided; Bribing the Governor
Connie: Herod’s Praetorium
David: Judgment Hall
Steve: Drinking Oath

Continued here!

Today’s Economic Forecast

11/10/2008, 12:00 pm -- by David | 1 Comment

More bad news out of the financial sector today, as Goldman Sachs reported that although orders of durable goods were up 3% over the last quarter, those orders, due to a filing error, were placed in a back room under a bag containing Pork Belly Futures — ruining the orders and causing a downturn in the short-term manufacturing market.

This news was especially troubling on the heels of an announcement that Sweet Light Crude Oil had risen $8.75 per barrel to close at $182.50 for spring delivery. Medium, Dark and Extra-Roast Sweet Crude have fallen in late trading today while Mocha Latte No-Foam Skinny-Boy Crude remained steady at $167 per barrel.

In other Wall Street news, Fed chairman Ben Bernanke found himself in an uncomfortable position today, when he announced another Â¼ point drop in the Fed’s major interest rate today, only to have reporters point out that the rate was at 3.25% in February and has been cut a total of 8.75 points since. An embarrassed Bernanke admitted that since the rate is used to determine the interest banks charge each other, and no bank is currently “stupid enough” to loan money to another bank, the rate is “at best, a theoretical exercise.”

When pressed to identify the actual status of the rate, Bernanke said, in effect, that since the average person in America has no idea what the heck happens on Wall Street, he simply makes sporadic announcements in the hope that they will somehow stimulate the economy.

Finally, Alan Greenspan appeared before Congress today and admitted that his policies over the past two decades were fatally flawed in ways that he is just now realizing.

“We thought that banks would police themselves when it came to subprime lending practices,” Greenspan said. “We never dreamed they would bow to federal regulations that required them to make bad loans, in bad neighborhoods, to people with no visible means to repay the debts.”

When asked about the wisdom of assuming that people could buy a house with no money down and no regular paycheck, then somehow pay the money back in a timely fashion, he quoted a line from the classic sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati: “As God is my witness — I thought turkeys could fly!”

Let Freedom Ring!

11/6/2008, 9:30 am -- by David | No Comments

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ”˜We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.\’ ”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whatever Barack Obama was on Monday, today he is my president. I know that many of us — and by “us,” I mean conservatives and Republicans — watched the results of the election with a sense of dread, borne either by the fear of what a liberal president might do to the “right to life” cause, or the terrifying shadows of campaign rhetoric that somehow Obama will turn out to be a Muslim extremist or an agent for socialist change in America. But I think America is bigger than the sum of all those fears, real and imagined.

We must not let our short-term political disappointments cloud our senses and rob us of what should be a time of great rejoicing. I read through the text of King’s “Dream” speech this morning, and I have to say it gave me cold chills. In a way, it set my heart rejoicing. He noted that he had been asked, “When will you (the devotees of civil rights) be satisfied?” His answer was to quote the book of Amos: when “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

It reminded me of Lincoln’s second inaugural address, when he wondered aloud if the horrible war they were fighting was God\’s judgment on slavery, and noted: “Fondly do we hope — fervently do we pray — that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue, until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s 250 years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said 3000 years ago, so still it must be said: “the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.”

I cannot help but rejoice at the setting to rights of this nation’s past history of injustice. Perhaps it is because I live in the South, where the wound still aches in the sneers and smart remarks of my fellow white companions. Perhaps it is because I still remember the day I used the “N-word” — a word I had heard from my father many times — on the lone black girl at State Street School in Watertown, NY.

I remember how she followed me all over the school yard, smoldering anger in her eyes as I ran away. She never caught me, but the janitor, Mr. Allen, did. And when he found out what I had said, he slammed me against the wall and told me to never use that word again.

He was a white man. It was the first time I had ever seen a white man stand up for a terrified and helpless black child. It was the first time I saw that what I was learning at home from my father might not be right.

I rejoice that hopefully today 250 years of slavery is answered — every lash, every drop of blood — and that indeed “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Why Hillary Clinton — no, Barack Obama — Will Be Our Next President

11/5/2008, 8:00 am -- by David | No Comments

Originally published November 2007, and resubmitted October 31, 2008.

No, I don’t like ~~her~~ him. No, I would never support ~~her~~ him. Yes, I really believe she will be our next president.

Why do I think this?

First, it’s the Democrats’ turn. One of the best practical jokes I was ever a part of involved a camper trailer, me, a massive former football star, a small musician/ladies’ man, and several children. I put the kids in the trailer and worked out signals, so that when Henry (the small guy) lifted the tongue of the camper while I moved the stump to level it, the kids scurried to the back, making it easy for him to lift. But when Tim (the big guy) tried, I had them scurry to the front, making it impossible to lift. With the wheels as a fulcrum, 5 or 6 small kids made the job either easy or impossible — tricking Tim was great fun.

The weight, I believe, is shifting back to the Democrats. The strongest candidate we can muster won’t be able to overcome even the feeble challenge of a liberal ~~female~~ inexperienced candidate.

People in this nation seem to love the underdog, and they get tired of the same people being in power — especially when those people promised they would “remember you” when they got there, but quickly forgot, amid their newfound life of luxury. Remember the right-wing revolution? The Contract with America? People gave conservatives the presidency and both houses of Congress for the first time in a bazillion years, and we were going to reform lobbying and campaign finance, set term limits, and fix every other advantage held by the inside-the-Beltway boys? Yeah, they slacked off on those promises and never did get around to reforming all that’s wrong with our national government.

*loud whistle* “TIME! DEMOCRATS! YOU’RE UP NEXT!”

But it’s not just that, it’s also the economy again. It’s kind of like having only two grocery stores in town — when you get sick of the one you shop at now, you go back to the one you left eight years ago. It’s bound to happen. Prices go up everywhere, but you still go back to the old store.

I know no one is saying we’re in a recession, but the man on the street can sense these things long before the big shots admit it’s happening. Gasoline affects every other sector of the economy. Everybody needs transportation to get back and forth to work; everyone has to get their product from point A to point B. Everyone I know is struggling paycheck to paycheck. Every business owner I know is looking at a bad year. Our business did $1.2 million last year, but we won’t come close to a million this year. Like it or not, people are ready for change.

Then there’s the war. It was the right thing to do; it’s still the right thing to do, but it’s draining away revenue we don’t have, and creating a huge deficit again. Right or wrong, people vote with their wallets, and right now, those wallets are leaning to the left. There’s no one out there I can see who will turn them back.

And that’s the last reason. There is no conservative Republican candidate generating the type of interest needed to energize the Christian vote. You may think I’m crazy, but I know Christians who voted for Bill Clinton when he ran for re-election. Four years of his shenanigans, and still they voted for him.

When I hear people here in Alabama, a solidly conservative Republican stronghold, entertaining the possibility of an~~other Clinton~~ Obama administration — and hinting that it might not be so bad, I think the tide has turned.

Presidential Haiku Prediction 4

11/3/2008, 2:50 pm -- by David | No Comments

Obama rises
Victorious with Biden
Dorks have won the day

Bible Discussion — Acts 21-22

10/29/2008, 11:26 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com moves on to the next two chapters of Acts.

INTRODUCTION:
David:
Paul is the epitome of “all things to all people” in this section. He bows to pressure from James and the elders to partake in some sort of Nazarite vow; he speaks Greek to the captain who rescues him and Hebrew to the crowd of Jews who demand his head; he throws around his Roman citizenship and knowledge of Roman law when they bind him and try to scourge him, uncondemned. He could be quite the diplomat in a pinch.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Steve:
Paul’s defense was a reiteration of his testimony, and unsurprisingly, he didn’t get much farther than telling the Jews how he always knew the Jews wouldn’t listen to him.

Connie:
The comment from the guard leading Paul to prison, asking him if he was the Egyptian who led a rebellion and escaped to the desert with 4,000 assassins. Really? How did I miss that?

David:
Paul publicly confesses his complicity in the murder of Stephen in 22:20 — and he was bound with “thongs” in 22:25 (NKJV).

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Connie: 4000 Assassins
Josh: Mob Justice
Steve: Mnason; A Citizen
David: The Elders

Continued here!

Meka Has Fallen!

10/23/2008, 12:00 pm -- by David | 1 Comment

Meka has fallen. For those of you unfamiliar with Meka, she is the minor deity of considerable girth who reigns over the convenience store where I buy my coffee and newspaper everyday. She sits behind the counter, on a high throne that, to the uninitiated, appears to be a simple barstool. She rules the coffee maker and the racks of honey buns; she dispenses alcohol and tobacco products to the throngs of adoring devotees. All things considered, her reign has been a good one.

She arrived about a year ago, and her time has been marked by a magnanimous beneficence that had been greatly lacking in her predecessor. When I buy the USA Today and a cup of coffee each day, my total comes to 75 cents. If you know anything about the world of convenience stores, you know that the paper alone costs 75 cents. I’m not sure whether I get the coffee or the newspaper free, but I like the arrangement.

When Meka is not there, the owner charges me $1.25 for the same combo. On the rare day when they are both there, Meka charges me $1.50. I never flinch when this happens, not wanting to bring any ill fortune on her. Meka giveth and Meka taketh away. Blessed is Meka.

Her predecessor was known as the Elephant Woman, not because of her size, but because of her short, compact stature, and the general grayness that seemed to infuse her entire appearance. She reminded me of a character from Babar. Before her, there was a red-haired girl of gothic bent, whose name I don\’t recall, but who loved to talk about her pet squirrel Ralphie. At the time, oddly enough, we had a pet squirrel named Billy, and so there was common ground.

There was never a doubt about who was in charge during Meka’s reign. There is a license plate-sized placard behind the counter with the words “PERSON IN CHARGE,” and every day, “Meka” was written there in large red letters. And although I cannot prove it scientifically, things have been better under her rule. Slothman Cabdriver has not blocked my coffee access in months, his slow stirs costing me precious minutes so I pull into work at 8:02, not 7:59. I also have not been accosted by panhandlers lately. I like Meka.

All good things must come to an end, though. When I entered the store Monday morning, the sign loudly proclaimed: “PERSON IN CHARGE — Jesus, honey!”

So Meka was gone, but how could I be dismayed? I was shocked and elated; all I could do was ask the owner (to his utter confusion) if Jesus would still be selling beer and alcohol. I didn\’t mention the wine because I hate taking a nearly indefensible position in a debate.

To my great delight, Meka was back today, but the sign remained. She explained that she was tired of Jehovah\’s Witnesses coming into the store, “readin\’ they scriptures to folks and stuff,” so she made the change herself. Things can only get better now that Meka has yielded control of her small kingdom to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

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