Our Latest JokeJoke of the Day, 2/10/08
A preacher concluded his service by saying, “Next Sunday I will preach on lies. In preparation for the sermon, I would like you to read the 17th chapter of Mark.”
The following Sunday, the preacher said, “Everyone who did as I requested and read Mark 17, please raise your hands.” Almost every hand in the congregation went up.
The preacher continued. “You’re just the people I want to talk to! See, there is no 17th chapter in Mark.”
The Last Twenty
- Joke of the Day, 2/10/08
- Joke of the Day, 1/27/09
- Joke of the Day, 1/6/09
- Joke of the Day, 12/18/08
- Jokes of the Day, 12/16/08
- Joke of the Day, 12/9/08
- Joke of the Day, 12/4/08
- Joke of the Day, 12/2/08
- Joke of the Day, 11/20/08
- Joke of the Day, 11/18/08
- Quote-Joke Hybrid of the Day, 11/12/08
- Joke of the Day, 11/6/08
- Joke of the Day, 10/30/08
- Joke of the Day, 10/21/08
- Joke of the Day, 10/17/08
- Joke of the Day, 10/9/08
- Joke of the Day, 10/7/08
- Joke of the Day, 10/2/08
- Joke of the Day, 9/25/08
- Joke of the Day, 9/23/08
Previous Five JokesJoke of the Day, 1/27/09
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
Joke of the Day, 1/6/09
During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud, a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
“Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
“Nope,” replied the colonel, handing him the keys. “Yours is.”
Joke of the Day, 12/18/08
What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
Jokes of the Day, 12/16/08
How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.
“Waiter! Waiter! What’s this robot doing in my soup?”
“It looks like he’s performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain.”
Joke of the Day, 12/9/08
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year. Every year Morris would say, “Esther, I\’d like to ride in that helicopter.”
Esther always replied, “I know, Morris, but it’s fifty dollars — and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”
One year they went to the fair, and Morris said, “Esther, I\’m 85 years old. If I don\’t ride in that helicopter now, I might never get another chance.”
Esther replied, “But Morris, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”
The pilot overheard and said, “Folks, I\’ll make you a deal. I\’ll take both of you for a ride. If you stay quiet the whole time, I won\’t charge you! But if you say a word, it\’s fifty dollars.”
Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers and daredevil tricks, but not a word was heard from his passengers. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell, but you didn\’t. I\’m impressed!”
Morris replied, “To tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars!”