88 Keys

June 19, 2007, 10:45 am; posted by Job Tate
Filed under Articles, Job | No Comments

From the Best of Job, November 2005.

I destroyed a piano today.

No, seriously, destroyed it — in every way you can imagine.

I got a phone call from my old boss this morning, asking if I was free today to do some work up in Bridgeport. Since almost my entire CD collection was straight-up stolen from my Jeep and I want to replace a few choice discs, I decided to devote the day’s manual labor efforts toward rebuilding my music collection.

Ironic that this involved destroying a piano.

It was actually pretty educational. Mr. Rogers could’ve done America’s youth a great service by doing a segment where he and Mr. McFeely went postal on a grand piano. I finally learned, in sweaty and splintered detail, how those behemoths make the sound they do.

The dude who needed the piano detroyed, moved and placed in a dumpster was named Claus. He came from Sweden, and looking every bit the part of Santa, he gave me (without wrapping) a pick axe, crowbar, hammer and chisel.

English is running a little late in explaining the ineffable pleasure of sending the blunt end of a pick axe into the top of a piano. The reverberation sends shock waves through the axe handle, into your arm and through your spine, while your feet tingle from the overwhelming sensation.

I totally let go. White and black keys flew up around me as I bit my lip and brought the grand to its knees. The back end, composed of the brass fittings and tightly-wound string, fell to the ground with a loud blast of both wood and tone.

Do re mi fa so la ti doooooooooooooo

Blow after blow rained down as old wooden parts, carefully and lovingly glued together by a man long dead, met the sheer force of this millennium’s pick axe. Sentimental feelings asked to come to the surface, but I told them to return a little closer to Christmas.

Today was my day. My day to do something most people can only dream about.

I could go on and on. Destroying that piano will be remembered as the greatest moment of my year. It was indescribable. It was the musical giving tree — she gave up her musical ghost so I could re-purchase The Low Millions album.

88 Keys

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