Yerma
Federico GarcÃÂa Lorca was a Spanish author who lived from 1898 until 1936, when he was executed by members of the Nationalist party for reasons that may have included his political affiliations, his homosexuality, and the content of his works. Although this beginning may sound a little bit (okay, a LOT) similar to a poorly written biographical piece (read: Wikipedia article), it’s not really what I’m on about. I think that to understand the play Yerma, one needs a bit of background knowledge on the struggle and unpopularity of its author.
Yerma takes place in rural Spain at the turn of the last century, and focuses on the struggles of its titular character whose name means, quite literally, “barren land.” Yerma is married to Juan, a farmer, and encounters many townspeople (never given names more specific than “First Girl” or “Second Sister-in-law”), as well as a few other central characters: VÃctor, MarÃÂa, the Old Woman, and Dolores.
The plot hinges on a single, bitter fact: Yerma has no children. In a day where a woman’s purpose in life stemmed from her role in the home raising her children, she is inútil, useless, and nothing that she can say or do for Juan gets through to him. Her desperation is markedly worse every time we encounter her, causing her to hallucinate sounds or smells, to refuse to speak to her sisters-in-law who come to stay with her family, or to sneak out of her home at night to meet Dolores, a woman of reputed spiritual/magical skill.
Without giving away the end of the play, I wanted to share this beautiful peace of prose-poetry-drama with any Bweinh! readers who enjoy gems of literature. The play is, in my opinion, one of the best I have read in my lifetime for a few reasons.
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Board Games (#2)
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by Nintendo! It’s our second list of board games, and this time there’s a new leader!
| Rank | Game | Points | ||
| 1. | Settlers of Catan | 18 | ||
| 2. | Scrabble | 16 | ||
| 3. | Cranium | 15 | ||
| 4-5 (tie) | Apples to Apples; Monopoly | 12 | ||
| 6. | Dictionary/Balderdash | 8 | ||
| 7. | Risk | 6 | ||
| 8-11 (tie) | Life; Parcheesi; Candy Land; Snakes (or Chutes) & Ladders | 5 | ||
| Other | Age of Mythology; Trivial Pursuit; Chess; Wise and Otherwise; Encore; Stratego; Bethump’d; Clue; Aggravation; Oligopoly | 1-4 |
Quote of the Day, 1/31/08
“I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot.” — A. Lincoln
Bweinh! Goes to the Movies: Rambo
I’ll tell you one thing — Rambo is by no means Sylvester Stallone in the feel-good picture of the year. But he has his moments.
The story revolves around sexagenarian John Rambo and a squad of mercenaries who rescue missionaries from the evil clutches of a brutal, dictatorial, oppressive, homosexual, Southeast Asian general and his raping, pillaging, murderous goon-filled death squads. Overall, the plot itself is fairly standard for 1980s-level action films, just with a higher production value.
Rambo himself is as murderous a killing machine as he is inventive, eliminating enemy soldiers with knives, bows and arrows, pistols, truck-mounted machine guns, and even by attaching a Claymore to an unexploded WWII British bomb. Oh, and he also rips out a man’s throat. Wicked. But it’s all for a good reason, so he’s kind of a nice guy at heart, you know?
Other characters lack depth (unlike the ever-multifaceted Rambo’s two sides — kill and slur). The missionaries are presented as pigheadedly bent on complete nonviolence as they infiltrate the border of a war zone for “the greater good.” The mercenaries are completely off the handle, screaming and swearing at Rambo, one another, trees, boats, rain, missionaries, enemy soldiers… in this movie, just about anything that can be screamed or sworn at is.
The death squads are believably evil, but why Stallone chose to include a scene of a young boy’s private late-night visit to the general is beyond me. I mean, seriously. We just watched this guy order a village hacked to bits and pieces, we get that he’s kind of a bad dude. Why add that he’s also into little boys? Is genocide not bad enough? Will American audiences think, “I still see the good in that man, even past his 1970s sunglasses and creepy mustache — but now that they’re implying he’s gay, I think he deserved to be hacked in half with a machete by John J. Rambo.”
The action scenes at the end of the movie were intense, too intense. I had no clue who was killing whom or why, except when the head missionary avenged all the others by bashing a soldier’s head in with a rock. Very Cain and Abel-esque.
Overall, I don’t think anyone should be exposed to the violence of Rambo, but I’m not going to lie to you. I enjoyed it.
Yo, Adrian!!!
I ♥ Grocery Shopping
The other day, a friend of mine was talking about “retail therapy,” which means going on a shopping spree until unhappy feelings go away. I declared that I was going to do that on Friday, and she said, “Ooh, where are you going?”
“Um. . . Wegmans,” I answered sheepishly.
“I don’t think grocery shopping counts,” she answered, but I still think it does.
I have never in my entire life been so excited to go grocery shopping. I made a list in class today of all the things I intend to buy. It was two pages long, and included such things as “cheeses” (you can never have enough cheese, and only one kind won’t do) and “ingredients for cookies,” which means any possible ingredient for cookies I could conceivably imagine in my wildest sugar-deprived dreams.
I’m ecstatic about the culinary delights that lie before me. My grandmother’s best dishes, my childhood favorites, my church’s famous potluck inventions…even a top secret recipe from Germany, for which I promised my firstborn son and daughter. Believe me, it was worth it. It was a cookie recipe.
I never thought I’d be thinking day and night about all the things I could buy at the grocery store, as if it were a stationery shop or shoe outlet. Those of you who have been college students may understand. Those of you who have been poor will understand even more. And those of you who have been both — you’ll know exactly how I feel.
But if you have never been any of the above, try spending $20 on groceries for a month and see how you feel afterwards. Suddenly the grocery store will look to you like Toys-R-Us looks to kids, a week before Christmas.
Battle of the Bands XLIII
Here are the next batch of band names from Luke (Through the Roof moves on!)
Bible Discussion — Luke 6
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter of Luke, Luke 6.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5
INTRODUCTION:
Steve:
Jesus’ sermon in this chapter will never cease to be countercultural, because at every turn it challenges the default setting of humanity, to seek selfishness and success.
David:
In the last chapter, Jesus scolded the people for trying to mix New Covenant and Old Covenant concepts in their question about fasting, likening it to placing new wine in old skins. Now He begins to use His teaching to turn the Jewish religion upside down, overturning their ideas about the Sabbath, wealth, popularity, judgment, mercy and what constitutes real righteousness.
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
David:
After leaving the guy with the splinter alone, and pulling the beam out of my own eye, I am actually allowed to go back and say “OK, now about that splinter:”
Erin:
Before Jesus chose the twelve disciples, He spent an entire night praying. Talk about careful consideration! And yet, all of these men were flawed, said and did things that were less-than-upbuilding to Jesus or His ministry (Peter, etc.), and often seemed so dense when Jesus spoke to them that it is hard to understand why He chose them to be His “inner circle” of followers.
Chloe:
Jesus is talking to people from Judea and Jerusalem, which means He’s talking mostly to Jews. And yet He says, “For that is how their fathers treated the prophets,” ‘their’ referring to the ones who persecute ‘you.’ Already the believers have been set apart from the rest of the Jewish nation.
Steve:
I hadn’t noticed what Chloe just said until I read this discussion, so I’m going with that.
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Blind Guide
David: Plankeye
Erin: Simon Called Peter
Chloe: False Prophets
Steve: Bramble Bush
Joke of the Day, 1/30/08
A drunk man sat down on the subway, next to a priest. He opened a newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”
“It’s caused by loose living, wicked women, alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.”
“Wow, you don’t say,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest thought for a minute, then nudged the drunk man.
“I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
“Oh, I don’t, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
Clash of the Titans LXV: Surveillance Cameras
| In this corner, supporting public surveillance cameras, is Connie! | And in this corner, opposing their use, is Mike! | |
|
June 2, 2007 — Kelsey Smith, 18, was abducted and strangled by Edwin Roy “Jack” Hall, outside a store where she had purchased a present for her boyfriend. Hall’s identity and apprehension was aided by the store’s use of security cameras. On his MySpace page, “Jack” called himself a “Sweet Troubled Soul,” interested in “eating small children and harming small animals.” Prosecutors are considering the death penalty. February 1, 2004 — Carlie Jane Brucia, 11, was returning from a sleepover when she cut through a car wash. There she was led away by a man, never to be seen alive again. The camera at the car wash showed a man in a uniform shirt approaching Carlie, talking to her, and then leading her away. NASA assisted by enhancing the image, and the FBI helped find Brucia and her abductor. Police arrested Joseph P. Smith, who had been arrested at least 13 times in 11 years, and had been previously charged with kidnapping. Carlie’s family described her as a beautiful young girl who loved her cat named Charlie and enjoyed time with her friends. February 12, 1993 — Jamie Bulger, 2, was kidnapped from a mall in Liverpool, England, by two 10-year-old boys, who then took him for a long walk which ended with them senselessly beating him to death and tying him to train tracks. The boys, Jon Venables and Robert Thompson, had been stealing things all day at the mall. Caught on CCTV with James, the boys were convicted of his abduction and murder. May 30, 2005 — Natalee Holloway, 18, disappeared while on a post-graduation senior trip in Aruba. She was last seen leaving a popular nightclub with three young men — Joran van der Sloot, Deepak Kalpoe, and Satish Kalpoe. All three men were arrested but released, and there was no security tape available of her on the island. Her family and friends hold out hope for a miracle, and her mother travels to churches, sharing her testimony of God’s strength and presence in her life, despite these devastating circumstances. I could have listed numerous cases of missing kids where cameras could have provided some needed answers and valuable closure. I personally believe that when you are in public, you and your actions are public property. |
The argument in favor of surveillance cameras is a touching one. How many crimes against innocents — especially children — could be prevented? Isn’t saving a life — just one life — worth any qualms we might have over privacy issues? Of course, exactly the same argument could be raised for banning McDonald’s. Many more people die from the results of overeating than are murdered each year. Shouldn’t our government be concerned with this? Isn’t saving lives the point? While people who feel this way (including my worthy adversary) are to be commended for their humanitarian spirit, I don’t understand the role of government in this way. Government doesn’t exist to save the lives of its citizens, it exists to preserve the rights of its citizens without which freedom is a hollow word. The genius of the seminal documents of our nation is that they recognize the dangers of totalitarianism: give all the power to the state and watch the state misuse it. The right to privacy implied in the Constitution provides an important safeguard against this. I may occasionally choose to give up my right to privacy. With a club card, I allow the grocery store to know what I purchase in return for discounts. I allow cookies on my computer in order to use internet services I enjoy. I am willing to compromise my right to privacy in extraordinary circumstances, or simply for something special I enjoy. But I am unwilling to compromise my right to privacy simply to walk around town or use the subway. Does that mean that occasionally people will violate the rights of others, even the sacred right to life? Yes, of course, and those people should be punished appropriately. But violating the basic rights of all to protect against a few predators is simply unacceptable. |
Snow on Snow
Perhaps you’ve heard of Wilson “Snowflake” Bentley, a Vermont farmer, turned amateur photographer, turned amateur scientist, turned mild sensation. In the early 1900s, Bentley used his 5,000+ collection of snowflake photographs to prove in a series of articles in National Geographic that no two snowflakes are exactly the same.
This sparked a romantic intrigue in readers and scientists alike, and his assertion was later proven true — that no matter how hard storms may precipitate, blanketing the vast acres of land in Siberia, Alaska, Tibet or Vermont, no snowflake will ever have an exact duplicate.
This is a compelling idea to consider as we step on, shovel through and wipe from our windshield the relentless number of snowflakes that visit us each year. I was recently indulging in this mind-expanding exercise while I watched it snow steadily, in weather warm enough that it was also melting and dripping off the roof in a reflection-inducing rhythm. Once perfectly unique crystals, now joined with others in a similar globular fate, speeding their melted way to form a drop falling off an eave. Never documented, never looked at, and never to be seen again.
The intricacy of a snowflake’s formation is too intense to ever truly comprehend, but its fragility pounded home to a level this human could master. I thought of a fetus — how at its very conception, it is immediately distinct, unique, exclusive and unrepeatable. 
But unlike a snowflake, it is not made by the chance encounter of high and low pressure systems, but rather the massive chemistry of human biology, emotion and decision.
And unlike a snowflake a fetus is not meant to quickly melt but rather grow, breathe, emote, possess fingerprints, and wrinkle. Despite its small size, a fetus — like a seed — carries the complexity to burst out, to mature into something astonishingly more. In fact, this is its very design, inexorable and compulsory.
But perhaps a fetus is most unlike a snowflake because one snowflake doesn’t require others to see it through to maturation.
And perhaps they are most similar in that all snowflakes — and all fetuses — have the same end together, in the ground.
Quote of the Day, 1/29/08
“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.” — G.K. Chesterton
9/11 “Truth”
I like people of every political stripe. We might disagree on every issue, but I can almost always understand where they’re coming from. I can’t support abortion, or breaking our alliance with Israel, or Obama’s foreign policy, but I can see why you might. We can certainly still be friends.
So if you want to lose the right to engage in rational discussion with me, there are only a few positions you can take. You can be explicitly sexist or racist, and tell me that one group of people is inherently superior to the rest. You can demand I convert to your religion on pain of death, threatening the future of my country and my faith.
Or you can tell me with a straight face that our government was involved in the attacks of September 11. Do that, and I will gladly defend your near-absolute right to say such things under our Constitution. But I will never again respect you.
Chloe had never been to New York City before, so we came across on the Staten Island ferry to see the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyline. We walked around admiring the architecture, and I pointed us up toward where the Twin Towers had stood.
As we neared the PATH station, I heard a man screaming. Behind him were banners for the despicably misnamed “9/11 truth movement,” encouraging passers-by to explore the many “unanswered questions” behind the attacks. As we moved toward the temporary memorial, stark columns of the names of the departed, rage welled up inside me. How dare he.
I was compelled to confront him. In a loud voice I let him know he was a disgrace to his nation, and to the men and women killed on the ground where he stood and spread his despicable filth.
His voice dropped immediately, to a soothing tone, as he had been programmed. “I totally understand your negative reaction. I mean, people died here, and it was a terrible thing. So if you want to have a conversation, let’s have a conversation, but I don’t want to yell.”
I did. “Do you actually believe this crap? How were you brainwashed into believing that a government that can’t keep anything a secret from the New York Times could not only be responsible for the deaths of thousands of US citizens, but that everyone responsible would keep it a secret for the past six years?”
“I was there, in the room, when the 9/11 Commission Report was written –”
“What do you mean, you were there when it was written; it’s a huge document!”
Chloe pressed him on why he thought it was right to do this at the site of the attacks, where families and friends of the victims would have to hear.
“Relevance,” he answered. “Here, people don’t have to be reminded of what 9/11 was all about, they can see it for themselves. And I was there, with the victim’s families, when President Bush and Dick Cheney came to testify before Congress, and that’s where this movement came out of, the victim’s families, they started this –”
“No!,” I yelled. “The President never testified before Congress. And this wasn’t started by the victim’s families; it was started by lunatics on the far right and left who think government conspiracies are responsible for everything bad in the world!”
“Can I ask you a question?,” he said. “What would you do if this” — he brandished his flyer — “were true?”
“I’m not going to answer that question; it’s irrelevant. I know it’s not true.”
“No, just answer the question! What would you do if this were true?”
“Well, what would you do if I were a unicorn?? Would you get on my back and ride me?”
He started to go on, but Chloe interrupted. “Answer his question! Would you get on his back and ride him?”
“I’m a unicorn!,” I yelled, bending over and trumpeting loudly, for the benefit of his gathering crowd of supporters, probably hoping I would decide it was time to back up my words with violent action.
He pressed on, God bless him. “I’ve read the books, I’ve watched the movies, and I’ve done the research, and I’m telling you that this is the truth.”
I turned to Chloe. “Ohhhh, never mind. This guy’s read books! I’m convinced! He must be right!”
He started in again, but Chloe interrupted and told him we had to catch the next ferry. As we walked away, we didn’t hear him yelling anymore, so I wonder if he took a break and let someone else catch the flak for a while. I was just disappointed to see small groups of people huddled around their propaganda posters.
Now don’t you dare tell me I didn’t listen to this guy. I DIDN’T NEED TO. I’ve read all of his crappy, illogical, paranoid arguments before, a hundred times, and I know that they’re all wrong. I’m not afraid of what he had to say either; I’m just deeply disturbed that some people are actually foolish enough to believe it.
It takes a special breed of deluded half-wit to look at the events of September 11 and conclude not only that our own government made a conscious choice to slaughter its own people, but that it was then competent enough to hide that from the world forever, except for the heroic efforts of a few who dare to tell the world the “truth.”
It is illogical, it is immoral, it is incomprehensible, and it is evil. And though I agree that he had the right to stand in that hallowed ground and spew his lies, I would sooner repeat them myself than let them go unchallenged.
The Council’s Ruling — Old Age
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — At what age is a person old?
Josh delivers the ruling of the council, joined by Chloe, Erin, Tom, and MC-B:
65. It’s time to retire, and it’s pretty impossible to still look young at that point.
MC-B concurs, joined by Connie and Djere:
With people living longer, one has to be at least 65 to be considered truly old and not just over the hill.
David dissents:
Everyone knows that you can’t trust anyone over 30. 40? 50? 60? Who cares? They’re just extensions of 30.
Job dissents:
50 is old and the age at which the reader of an obituary doesn’t wonder what caused the death.
Steve dissents:
70. Average life expectancy is 78 now, and these days, it’s only during the last 10% of your life that you’re truly old.
Mike played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time: Is a white lie always wrong?
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Sports (#2)
In today’s Ask Bweinh! poll, we return to the question of favorite sports, sponsored by AAMCO, who reminds you to be safe — trust the Midas touch.
| Rank | Sports | Points | ||
| 1. | Football | 27 | ||
| 2. | Basketball | 22 | ||
| 3. | Baseball | 20 | ||
| 4. | Soccer | 18 | ||
| 5. | Hockey | 12 | ||
| 6. | Volleyball | 8 | ||
| 6-7 (tie) | Racquetball; Jai Alai | 5 | ||
| 8-10 (tie) | Golf; Tennis; Kayaking | 3 | ||
| Other | Bullriding; Badminton; Kites; Pitch; MIFFLE (Midget Indoor Flag Football League); Bowling; Skiing; Dodgeball | 1-2 |
Joke of the Day, 1/28/08
When is a hamburger not a hamburger?
When it turns into a big, angry gorilla!
Best of Bweinh: The Dinosaur Clash
Originally ran on July 3!
| In this corner, claiming the superiority of the tyrannosaurus rex, is Djere! | And in this corner, backing the apatosaurus (nee brontosarus), is MC-B! | |
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It’s good to be the king. The Tyrant King of the Lizards, that is. T. rex is the epitome of dinosaur. Weighing four to six tons, 40 feet long, 20 feet tall, and with a four-foot jaw filled with razor-sharp teeth upwards of 12 inches, T. rex was not built for play dates. He was a killing machine that ate meat. The image of dinosaur conjured up in every mind is of an enormous Tyrannosaurus, standing over the body of a lame dinosaur like a Triceratops, Stegosaurus, or an Apatosaurus, roaring in delight. Oh, I’m sorry, did I say Apatosaurus? Perhaps I meant Brontosaurus. While the incorrectly named Brontosaurus would passively graze, staring around with its vacant, cow-like eyes and walnut-sized brain, Tyrannosaurus stalked the primordial jungles of Laurasia, with a brain over twice the size of herbivorous dinos. That’s right, Laurasia, or present-day America. If America were a dinosaur, it would totally be T. rex. Broadly speaking, the only lame thing about the T. rex is the disproportionate size of its teeny forearms. But recent discoveries show that the arms, while small, were incredibly muscular, designed to hold its prey in place while it was devoured. So who’s it going to be? The Tyrant Lizard King, with his gigantic brain, or the dim-witted, hopelessly lame, salad-eating “thunder lizard”? |
Today is “July 4th Eve,” the day before we celebrate the birth of our wonderful nation. The story involves a small group of poorly-armed militiamen successfully fighting off the forces of a terrible king and rising to become a mighty colossus. It would be nigh on sacrilegious if, on today of all days, the readers of Bweinh! selected a tyrant as their favorite dinosaur. Once you get past the hype surrounding the T-Rex, what is it? For what does it use its kingship over the other dinosaurs? According to Calvin and Hobbes (a reliable source if there ever was one), T-Rex was either a fearsome predator or a loathsome scavenger. Regardless of Calvin’s answer, we should be unwilling, as Americans or Christians, to accept a dinosaur fitting either description as our favorite. There are better paths than predator or scavenger. Enter the brontosaurus. Simple- minded and simple-living? Probably. Defenseless? Hardly. Strength has always been a prerequisite to peace and the brontosaurus is built to last. No teeth or claws to speak of: just pure size and a willingness to group together with others when necessary. Its name means “thunder lizard,” and it is indeed mighty, a force of nature — at least 23 metric tons to the T-Rex’s 6.8. With this in mind, the brontosaurus now seems more like the mighty United States (its fossils have also been found here). And the T-Rex is placed squarely with the North Koreas and Irans of the world: noisy and fussed over for weaponry, but in the end unable to match the sheer size and power of its mighty adversary in a fair fight. Do not reject America’s proud heritage of reluctant heroism and unmatched power in exchange for tyranny and a set of shiny teeth. |
Blessed Are Those Who Mourn
I once heard a preacher say that for every atheist who dies from cancer, a Christian dies too — so the world can see how a Christian faces death. That is an obvious overstatement, but the fact remains “that the rain falls on the just as well as the unjust” for just such a purpose — so the world can see what it means to place your faith in Jesus and to live for the next world, not this one.
Rick Burgess, half of the popular Rick & Bubba Show here in the South, lost his 3-year-old son William Bronner Burgess, in a tragic drowning accident this week. I have to admit I had never listened to the show, assuming that it would be funny, but laced with off-color redneck humor like Larry the Cable Guy or even Jeff Foxworthy’s material. After hearing what happened, a co-worker turned the show on in the company truck for me, and I listened, amazed and dumbfounded, to the latest proof of my hidden prejudice.
When we turned it on, Bubba and a pastor friend were counseling a caller, leading him to Christ over the air. What would have overwhelmed some men with grief, spawning bitterness against a God who could allow such tragedy, has been embraced by the family as an unknowable mystery that must be walked through, while giving glory to God and reaching out to as many people as they can.
Their web page is here; I encourage everyone to listen to Rick’s address at his son’s memorial service. As the Bible says, “We don’t mourn as those who have no hope” — but please keep this family in your prayers.
Quote of the Day, 1/25/08
“If a thing isn’t worth saying, you sing it.” — P. Beaumarchais
Is Good News A Myth?
I check the news daily, but I rarely read any of it. It’s not that it’s bad writing (though it is) or that it’s slanted reporting (though it is). It’s not even that I’m bored with it (though I am). The reason I haven’t been reading the news is because it gives me nightmares. It makes me sick to read the headlines of FOX News and CNN, because their style of reporting is more like a parade of freakishly heinous crimes rather than anything resembling journalistic integrity.
I took a sampling this week of the headlines on the two sites. One day I had to copy nearly every single headline. These are just a few exemplary examples of the daily dose of bad news:
Sri Lanka clashes kill 59 rebels
Cops arrest 66 in online prostitution sting
Stabbed Woman, 4 kids found dead in burning home
Cops: Mom put son in oven as punishment (with video)
Bad Day: Doc delivers baby, watches house burn down
Macedonian army helicopter crash kills 11 (with photos)
Man found with maggots in eyes dies
Marine slaying crime scene photos
Our world is fallen. We can’t close our eyes to the fact that these types of things happen every day. However, I cannot stand any longer for their use as entertainment. The only reason news agents write articles like the above is because people read them. If it’s not bloody and bizarre, it’s not worth reading. It’s like ambulance chasers, or people who slow down at the scene of a car crash, trying to spot a mangled body or some bits of gore. It’s sick. There’s no other word for it.
But there’s some good news! Literally! I went searching for something to ease my discomfort after reading those headlines, and I found the Good News Network. GNN was started by Geri Weis-Corbley, a TV news producer who was exhausted by the inundation of bad news in her profession. Now it boasts such lines as “Johnny Depp donates $2M to Children’s hospital,” and “Couple reunited after 60 years apart since the war.”
This is what I was looking for. It’s just good news — in business, civics, earth, family life, health, recreation, and other fields. So if you feel burdened by the daily news reports, visit GNN. It’s a refresher and a reminder that though our world is fallen, good things still do happen.
Battle of the Bands XLII
Here are the next batch of band names from Luke (Hometown Prophets moves on!)
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Restaurants
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by Air Transat — the worst airline in the world!
Just listen to yet another thrilled guest: “I thought it was easily the worst flight I have ever taken. Service, seats, food — terrible. I would only consider Air Transat as a last resort. . .”
Air Transat: I still loathe you!
Our favorite chain restaurants, of any type —
| Rank | Restaurants | Points | ||
| 1-2 (tie) | In-N-Out Burger; Olive Garden | 10 | ||
| 3. | Cici’s Pizza | 7 | ||
| 4-5 (tie) | KFC; Wendy’s | 6 | ||
| 6-11 (tie) | Pizza Hut; Applebee’s; Subway; Sonic; Longhorns; Ruby Tuesday | 5 | ||
| Other | Chili’s; Chic-Fil-A; Texas Steakhouse; Bweinh.com; Claim Jumpers; Little Caesar’s; Bennigan’s; Dunkin Donuts; McDonald’s; Outback Steakhouse; TGI Friday’s; Village Inn; Logan’s Roadhouse; Holy Cats Monday; 99; Taco Bell; Burger King; Cracker Barrel; Wings Over; Denny’s | 1-4 |
Joke of the Day, 1/24/08
A man was struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lay dying on the sidewalk and a crowd of spectators gathered.
“A priest! Someone get me a priest!,” the man gasped.
None could be found, but finally an old man stepped out of the crowd. “Officer, I’m not a priest — I’m not even Catholic! But for 50 years I’ve lived behind St. Mary’s on 78th, and every night I hear the Catholic litany. Maybe I can bring this man some comfort.”
The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to the dying man. He knelt down, leaned over the man, and began reciting, in a solemn voice: “I-21, I-21. G-54, G-54…”
How to be Useful
Sister Janice Brown said to me last Sunday, “Erin, you’ll know my car by the gold emblems on the back where it says Nissan — you know us black people, we always got to have our gold and nice stuff.” She said to me yesterday, “You’ll hear a lot of open talk from me about race, about racism. You can’t hide from it, not here.” She then launched into a story about one of her previous interns who was white-as-white-can-get, and how she did her best to train him in the city, but wasn’t entirely successful. The whole time she spoke, I thought to myself, oh, God, that’s me, isn’t it?
Every time I enter Sister Brown’s house (only a few times thus far), she tells me to be at peace, to be blessed of God, to have the Spirit rest on me and nourish me. She is on the pastoral staff at the Pentecostal Miracle Deliverance Center Church (PMDCC), on the corner of St. Paul and Upper Falls Boulevard in Rochester, but she wears about as many hats as there are townhouses in the 19th Ward. When she speaks, her words are almost always teasing, instructing, or praying; sometimes all three.
This weekend when I worked for my internship at her house/office, I felt useful, which is a lot more than I can say for much of my college experience. That ‘experience’ has usually consisted of cramming, reading, writing, and generally getting on the nerves of those unfortunate enough to live with me and not be in the Kierkegaard seminar (consider this my apology, housemates). The oddest thing about this feeling, however, was the fact that what I did seemed so minor. So what if I showed Sister Brown how to look up articles on segregation vs. integration on the internet? So what if I put together a program for a Youth Association rally? So what if I semi-translated and reformatted a registration form? So what if I played soccer with Yaser, Roby, Mateo, Carmilo, etc.?
Why, if all of these seem so minor to me (and, no doubt, to you), did I feel like I actually did something — or that I am doing something?
I grew up being taught that if I didn’t take initiative when I saw something wrong or something out of place, then it was my fault if the conditions turned worse. Usually, this was just my mom’s way of telling me to do laundry when the laundry room got so full that we couldn’t step inside it, but I really value the point that she made and it has stuck with me. There is something to be done. There are new ways to be learned.
And if I am in a position where I can learn those new ways, where my stupid I-just-met-you-so-I’m-kind-of-shy tendency can be stretched to teach me what it truly means to have interracial friendships, to work with teens who have never known the luxuries I have known (and now feel almost desperate to leave behind) — then by all means, I want to do this! I want to feel like in some small way, I am useful. That I am serving and learning at the same time. That my future isn’t as bleak as it sometimes seems.
This may be nothing more than a rant for hope from a hopelessly idealistic student. But I think the answer to the question ‘How can I be useful?‘ is strikingly simple: find a need. Fill it. And if you can’t find a need where you are, go somewhere else.
Bible Discussion — Luke 5
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter of Luke, Luke 5.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4
INTRODUCTION:
Steve:
Miracles are on display in this fast-moving chapter. Jesus’ ministry is getting started, and woe to the demons, paralysis, or fish that get in His way!
Connie:
Jesus continues His new ministry by choosing disciples and irritating the local religious leaders with unorthodox and amazing healings.
David:
Peter is called and forsakes his fishing business to follow Jesus, but this is not the first time for Peter (Matthew 4:18) nor the last (John 21:16). Peter always manages to end up back in his boat, fishing again. Peter and I (and perhaps you too) have had to deal with this issue more than once. It’s interesting that in the famous water-walking text, Jesus is again urging Peter to get out of the boat. “Do you love me? Then feed my sheep.”
Erin:
This chapter is just one of the many that make up Luke’s account of Jesus’ ministry. I am both interested and frustrated at Jesus’ willingness to heal (in some instances), His intentionally vague parables, and His choice of disciples. But that’s why many have called our faith a “mystery”!
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
Just before Jesus forgives the paralytic, it says that Jesus “saw their faith.” Not his faith, but their faith. I know that ultimately we all have to make faith decisions for ourselves, but I also believe strongly that there are times when we just have to have enough faith to carry our friends through to that point.
Erin:
After the leper is healed (v. 13), people start flocking to Jesus, and the need for Him to be alone with His Father seemed to increase — it seems to me a sign of Jesus’ humanity that as the pressure of his ministry increased, communing in prayer with God became even more important.
Steve:
I never noticed the reaction of those who witnessed Jesus forgiving and healing the paralytic — “We have seen strange things today!” I can tell you — I’ve left some meetings with that same testimony.
Connie:
Verse 17 — “…and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.”
Chloe:
Luke points out an important aspect of Jesus’ character in verse 6: “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” This made me think about what I do when I’m emotionally drained, as I’m sure Jesus was (and much more than I) throughout His ministry. Typically, I read a book, or turn on some music and play a game online. I don’t pray. Prayer sounds exhausting to me, and I need to relax. Prayer as an emotional refresher is something that never really occurred to me.
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Chloe: Water’s Edge
David: Whither Thou Wouldest Not (WTWN)
Steve: A Certain City
Connie: Follow Me
Erin: Sons of Zebedee
Josh: Through the Roof; Dinner with Sinners
Quote of the Day, 1/23/08
“I feel like King Kong, hideous, but with a soft and tender heart.” — Y. Zhenhuan, the world’s hairiest man
Farewell, Fred
The candidate who topped our latest presidential poll has dropped out of the race today, leaving many of us with an uncomfortable decision. I had Fred at position 1B, so I’m not switching horses myself, but it still makes me sad to see the most consistently conservative candidate in the race depart.
If you’re wondering where to go next, I’ll give you a brief tour of the remaining major candidates, as I see them. You can click each candidate’s name to get a better idea of where they stand on each individual issue that might be important to you.
In (my own) descending order . . .
8 — John Edwards
Disadvantages: 100% pro-abortion voting record; ardently anti-business economic rhetoric; borderline-crazy expansion of public university system; thinks he can take away Congressional healthcare to encourage a mandatory universal system; opposes the war in Iraq; opposes the Patriot Act; head in the sand on Social Security (no privatization, no decrease in benefits, no increase in retirement age)
Advantages: Uh… His hair looks nice?
Why I could never vote for him: I couldn’t disagree with this man more.
7 — Hillary Clinton
Disadvantages: Named “Clinton”; many ethical problems; supports a ‘right to education’ through college; strong supporter of ‘campaign finance reform’; consistently pro-abortion; tries to take both sides of issues; wishes to end tax cuts; pushing a quick withdrawal from Iraq
Advantages: Pragmatic politician willing to compromise; (mostly) realistic foreign policy; has a certain level of experience
Why I cannot vote for her: The few areas where we agree are outweighed by the many on which we disagree. If a Democrat has to win, though, I actually hope it’s her.
6 — Barack Obama
Disadvantages: Very young and inexperienced; voted against banning partial-birth abortion (among other things); used and sold drugs as a youth; poor on foreign policy (including odd comments about invading Pakistan); attends a church with a very radical pastor; voted against both of Bush’s highly qualified Supreme Court nominees; holds almost entirely liberal positions
Advantages: Talks about changing Washington in a way that makes you actually believe him; genuinely intelligent and likeable; supports nuclear power
Why I cannot vote for him: Sometimes I think I won’t mind it when he becomes president. Then I remember that he believes in more than just hope and change, and that his principles are uniformly liberal ones.
5 — Ron Paul
Disadvantages: Absolutely loony foreign policy that involves removing troops from all overseas bases; economic plan depends on a totally unrealistic return to the gold standard; constant and continued association with many unsavory elements, some of whom apparently ghostwrote his newsletters for a period of many years; anti-Israel; opposes the Patriot Act and the Iraq War
Advantages: Wonderful (if oversimplified) understanding of the Constitution; solidly socially conservative; generally good on federalism; his election would result in four fascinating years of gridlock and government reduction
Why I cannot vote for him: I agree with him on quite a few things, maybe more than I disagree, but I absolutely cannot vote for someone with his foreign policy positions.
4 — Rudolph Giuliani
Disadvantages: Repeated and terrible scandals in personal life; moderate to liberal on social issues; often stubborn and cruel; supports increased gun control; likely to lead to a pro-life third-party candidate, electing the Democrat as a result
Advantages: Promised to nominate conservative judges; strong on crime as NYC mayor; strong leader after 9/11; will not close Guantanamo; understands the enormity of the war on terror
Why I don’t want to vote for him: He is not an honorable man, and although I could live with his election (and even vote for him), I do not wish to support it or work toward it in any way.
3 — Mike Huckabee
Disadvantages: Raised taxes and grew government as governor of Arkansas; has an absolutely unworkable plan to replace the income tax with a national sales tax; rapidly moving to the right on several issues, including immigration; seems unable to appeal to non-evangelical voters; criticized Bush’s foreign policy; highly questionable ethics as governor
Advantages: Strong pro-life record; endorsed by Chuck Norris; evangelical Christian; unwilling to cede American sovereignty; promised not to raise taxes; friendly, funny and personable
Why I don’t want to vote for him: I don’t think he rightly understands the federalist nature of our government, and I don’t want another president who wants to expand government power over our personal lives, Christian leader or not. His ideas are often good ones, but they aren’t ideas for government to impose. He should work to get the Body of Christ to do something.
2 — John McCain
Disadvantages: Co-authored terrible and unconstitutional campaign finance reform law; joined with Senate Democrats to limit Bush’s judicial nominees; supports amnesty for illegal immigrants; favors bringing enemy combatant detainees into the United States, thus granting them constitutional rights; strong proponent of American action on global warming; old and cranky; opposed Bush tax cuts
Advantages: Socially conservative; strong supporter of the war on terror; always tells you what he thinks regardless of what you think of him; appeals to independents and moderates; legitimate war hero who was tortured for his country for years; strongly supports free trade; experienced
Why I don’t plan to vote for him: I believe his desire to be a “maverick” has led him to many unnecessary and unwise compromises, and his attack on free speech through McCain-Feingold continues to be maddening. But I could certainly vote for him — if I had to.
1 — Mitt Romney
Disadvantages: Changed his mind on abortion while governor of Massachusetts; practicing Mormon; seems robotic and impersonal; associated with some big government-type programs as governor; would not support Bush tax cuts as governor; accused of pandering to voters and changing positions
Advantages: Very successful businessman; saved the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics from financial ruin; successfully governed a very liberal state; very intelligent; excellent problem-solver; strong on foreign policy; favors private Social Security accounts; favors lowered taxes; opposes abortion; favors nuclear energy; supports the Patriot Act
Why I plan to vote for him: Look, I know Mitt Romney is not nearly the perfect candidate. But his “conversion story” on the abortion issue is entirely plausible (especially since it came while he was in office, and he acted accordingly), and he is the candidate most likely to unite the party.
He is socially conservative — now — with strong family values, and he has said these beliefs will control his administration, and that he will appoint solid judges. He is economically conservative, and not only does he preach that on the campaign trail, but he governed like it, balancing his state budget while not raising taxes. And he is conservative on foreign policy, with an understanding of the threat we face and the proper ways to address it — without pandering to the media or attacking our president. Plus, he has a record of success in everything he has done, and he is unquestionably intelligent, which (to be honest) would be nice to have in a candidate.
It’s Romney for me. What do you think?
And You Love Them Too!
What did Grandma tell Ice Man??
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If you picked “The cop he was planning to kill once saved his life,” you’re a winner!!
Make way for Grandma!
©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).
Joke of the Day, 1/22/08
There were two fish in a tank. One turned to the other and said, “Do you have any idea how to drive this?”
The Council’s Ruling — Appliance
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — Which kitchen appliance, besides the fridge, do we appreciate the most?
The Council delivers the ruling of microwave, although it was unable to agree on a rationale.
Josh offers this opinion, joined by Job and MC-B:
The microwave allows a hopeless bachelor to prepare actual hot food quickly enough to hit the window between when he first feels hungry (and thus bothers to begin any food preparation) and when his hunger pangs would inevitably overwhelm him (thus causing him to eat out, abandoning whatever was in a conventional oven).
Djere offers this opinion, joined by Chloe:
Over-the-range microwave oven — microwave, fan, light, clock, timer, instant popcorn maker…
David dissents, joined by Connie:
The coffee maker.
Erin dissents:
Mixer. An essential for virtually every recipe.
Steve dissents:
Hands down the dishwasher. It saves so much time and effort, and it gets dishes cleaner too.
Tom dissents:
The stove, the appliance closest to the primal ways of our forebears. Open flame anyone?
Mike played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time: At what age is a person old?
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Colors (#2)
Today’s poll is a repeat performance — we first considered the question ten months ago, right here! And the champ holds onto its title.
| Rank | Color | Points | ||
| 1. | Blue | 25 | ||
| 2. | Green | 21 | ||
| 3. | Orange | 15 | ||
| 4. | Red | 11 | ||
| 5. | Black | 9 | ||
| 6. | Brown | 7 | ||
| 7-8 (tie) | Lime Green; Olive | 5 | ||
| 9-11 (tie) | Silver; Burgundy; Yellow | 4 | ||
| Other | Cyan; Magenta; White; Mauve; Cobalt Blue | 1-3 |
Quote of the Day, 1/21/08
“I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.” — M.L. King, Jr.
Why We Believe: Vol. 8
This and following weekends, we will share the brief salvation testimony of each Bweinh!tributor. Read the previous seven right here.
There was a time in my life when I was living with a woman who was not my wife. I spent half my day crying and screaming in fits of inconsolable rage, drinking between 2 and 3 bottles a day — and then I turned two and moved onto solid foods.
This was how Houghton College’s Dr. Doug Gaerte began his chapel testimony, before a shocked, then hushed, then suddenly relieved student body, as he was one of the most gentle and Christlike professors on campus. He went on to explain that he had avoided giving his testimony before then because he felt, as do I, that his testimony was simply just not interesting enough. Like me, he was born into a Christian family and had been through the blitz of Sunday School and VBS to such a degree that the exact sea change of his soul was hard to pinpoint. And like me, he had to agree that that is a great testimony in and of itself.
But the fact remains that while a Christian heritage breeds a certain lifestyle that can be blessedly cyclical, the giving of one’s soul to Christ is not something that can be done for you. While I had a firm understanding of Jesus, and of grace even, at a tender age, it would take years to wrap my mind around my own salvation. My testimony doesn’t climax with my first altar experience at a camp in Northern Maine when I was 14, or at my baptism, or on a missions trip to Mexico when I was 16. These usual suspects were all pivotal, but they are, by no means, the true meat of my salvation.
As most people who know me somewhat intimately will tell you, I rarely exhibit Christ in any classic manner. I’m argumentative, counter-cultural, judgmental and oftentimes appallingly solo in my use of time, money and talents. I must strike many fellow believers as a builder who laid a real humdinger of a foundation, but seems content to live in a ramshackle lean-to atop it.
My struggles with other Christians and the constructed institution of Christianity is such an oozing scab that some might think a testimony from me — the clay that is apparently still drying — is a bit previous. But when I testify my faith, I feel no need to tell my story, so decidedly unfinished, unglamorous and incongruous. I’d just rather tell the story, as I glow with joy, of Christ’s death and resurrection — and no matter how I grapple with theology and fellowship, I do BELIEVE in it! I believe in the Jesus of the gospels and am never shy or ashamed of that.
For all of my faults, and the clumsy manner in which this testimony continues to grow and fester, I know I have a love for Jesus that will always rally. This hardest of hearts will always rise to the occasion, from no doing of my own but from a deeply seeded faith, as relentless and compulsive as gravity itself. This is Christ in me. This is my story. His story is my story, and I am plotless without Him.
Clash of the Titans LXIV: Star Wars v. Star Trek
| In this corner, claiming that Star Wars is best, is Josh! | And in this corner, arguing for the supremacy of Star Trek, is Tom! | |
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To the uneducated eye — otherwise known as people who think fans of any “Star” franchise are just a bunch of dorks — there’s not a lot of difference between Star Trek and Star Wars. But I’m here to tell you, despite the Trek’s mountainous advantage in total number of TV shows and movies, I’ll take quality over quantity. Allow me to take you to a galaxy far, far away… I guess I should start by admitting that I am far from an expert in Trek matters. But as near as I can tell, Star Trek’s contributions to our world consist of little more than “Beam me up, Scotty,” and the worst fight scene ever. Star Wars has so much more to offer. They have better characters and better actors (not that it’s that hard to overcome the ongoing intentionally unintentional joke that is William Shatner). There’s the charisma of Han Solo, ably played by Harrison Ford, easily the most successful actor from either franchise. There’s the mystery and wisdom of Obi Wan Kenobi, originally thanks to the legendary Sir Alec Guinness. There’s spunky old Yoda and his beloved verbal patterns, part of a genius partnership with Jim Henson. And of course, there’s the terrifying Darth Vader, with the booming voice of James Earl Jones — consensus choice for the greatest screen villain of all time. And there’s more to love. Light sabers, for instance. If you try to tell me you’ve never wanted a light saber, you’re lying through your teeth. That goes double for Jedi powers. The entire Star Wars universe is just a more intriguing place to be, which accounts for the massive popularity of the entire line of Star Wars video games that put you right there (Incidentally, I highly recommend Lego Star Wars, Battlefront II, or Knights of the Old Republic, depending on your genre of choice). The creative genius of George Lucas brings all this to life, with an attention to detail that makes everything more authentic and a superior sound track that makes everything seem more important. So if you’re ready to vote for Star Wars, may the force be with you. And if you’re not, then this isn’t the clash you’re looking for. Move along. |
Space. The final frontier. If you’re anything like me, when you read those words, you began to hear the haunting strains of a string orchestra begin to swell. In your mind’s ear, each phrase was delivered with the firm, yet understanding tones of a Royal Shakespearean Company-trained actor. And in your heart was awakened a yearning — a yearning to be entertained. Those four words (for those of you who may not know) are the opening to Star Trek: The Next Generation, the second well-known television series in a series that to date has numbered seven incarnations. Ten films have been spun from the original concept, with an eleventh currently in production. Compare that with a measly three good Star Wars movies, with another few that even die-hard fans loathed. But commercial success can’t be our only basis for comparison. With that in mind, how do Wars and Trek really compare in a number of key areas? Robots Muscle Character With Big Ears Jar Jar Binks. |
Undecided Voter Craves Attention
–ORANGEBURG, S.C.
Family and friends of local accountant Aaron Johnson, 54, describe him as a quiet, unassuming man, friendly and forgettable.
But then the South Carolina primary came around, and the tax code took a back seat to handshakes and barbecue. Now the mild-mannered number-cruncher is at the center of a fury of political activity — and friends and relatives suggest his motives are less than pure.
“My Aaron didn’t care a lick about politics as a boy, but now I see him on the Fox channel, spinnin’ dials and talkin’ about federalism or some such! I think he just likes the attention,” said Johnson’s mother Dorothy, 79.
“That handsome Mr. McCain is the cat’s pajamas,” added Dorothy’s sister, Ethel Jones, 84.
A review of public records appears to show the sisters’ accusations are true. Johnson’s pattern of vacillation apparently started at Orangesburg-Wilkinson High, where he refused to express a preference between Mary “Iron Legs” Carter and Elizabeth “Purty Grits” Burleson in the hotly contested 1971 race for prom queen, leading to a series of “private caucuses” with the candidates, hosted in the office of Sam, the one-eyed janitor.
Since registering to vote, Johnson has expressed little interest in current events, apart from brief periods every four years, when his unwillingness to commit to public support of any candidate makes him, for a time, the most sought-after man in all the Midlands.
Many South Carolinians seem annoyed by Johnson’s continued neutrality.
“The only reason I can see that someone wouldn’t know who to vote for is they was either stupid or dead,” said Frank Brady of Columbia. “They all been on the TV for months now, I reckon. I know Fred Thompson had me back in November, when I first heared him say, ‘Heeeeeeeeeelllllllllll—lllloooooooooo.’ ”
“I don’t even think A.J. votes,” offered his pastor, Apostle Sammy Smith of Grace Cathedral Christian Fellowship in Sumter. “Back in 2000, I seen him go from pollin’ place to pollin’ place, just chattin’ up the volunteers on the outside, pickin’ up T-shirts and fresh barbeque at every turn.”
Smith held his head in his hands and whistled softly. “Boy’s a wolf in cheap clothing.”
Attempts to reach Johnson at his home were made difficult by the crush of candidates and their aides pressed against his back fence, many shouting promises and offering gifts if he would “join the team” — although reports that he was offered the vice-presidency by Mike Huckabee remain unconfirmed at this time.
Reached by phone, Johnson stated, “I would love to refute these lowdown dirty lies, but I’ve gotta go — there’s a mole on my back I need Dr. Paul to look at, and then Mitt’s gonna stop by and help me paint my shed.”
Joke of the Day, 1/18/08
A woman went into the dentist’s office and said, “I think I’d just as soon have a baby as get my tooth pulled.”
The dentist replied, “Make up your mind — I’ll have to adjust the chair.”
Here’s Another Story About The Invisible Mice
My daughter loaned me The Ringing Bell a while back, the new Derek Webb CD, and after listening to it 30 times or so, I’m ready to review it.
It has everything that makes me both love and hate his newer music — great messages when you can decipher them, but lacking the fantastic vocals and rich varied musical sound that I used to love when he was with Caedmon’s Call. For starters, ever since he was criticized for using language that some find offensive in Christian music on a previous CD, Derek no longer prints his lyrics with his CDs, so it’s a bit of a guessing game.
The lead song, The End, starts out something like:
Here’s another story about the invisible mice
The elephant in the room jumping in the light
I so hate hesitating voices in the night
Here’s another story about the invisible wives
I know elephants are afraid of mice, and I have seen an elephant jump into a chandelier to escape a mouse on a cartoon once, but I don’t understand the invisible thing, or why possibly the farmer’s wives from 3 Blind Mice would get involved, and be invisible, unless it has to do with the fact that the mice are blind and can’t see the wives.
It’s pretty confusing.
After a dozen more times through, I thought it might say this instead:
Here’s another story about the invisible knights (KKK?)
The elephant in the room (taboo subject?) jumping in these lights (making headlines?)
Slow hate, hesitating voices in the night
Here’s another story about the invisible whites
If so, perhaps the song is about racism, but I guess we’ll never know until the song is deciphered.
What I do love about his music is the political stands:
Savior on Capital Hill is a biting commentary on our delusion that somehow selecting the right politician in an election is going to make things right for the Church. I love it. It ends with the line:
So don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capital Hill.
I like Huckabee, but God doesn’t need him to win an election to further the Kingdom. They are two separate things.
Name is another great one.
They call you right
they call you left
they call you names of all your friends:
Baby don’t let ’em
don’t let ’em put a name on you!
My sentiments exactly.
There’s no categories just long stories waiting to be told
Don’t be satisfied when people sum you up with just one word.
I belong to no one but Christ and my allegiance answers only to Him.
This Too Shall Be Made Right is another song that explores some of the inequities that will be set right eventually when Jesus returns, as well as looking at our guilt on some of those issues.
Most of the rest of the CD was bland and unattractive to me, but the way the first song (The End) dovetails into the second (The Very End), switching to a beautiful orchestral piece featuring violins is beautiful and worth listening to.
Yeah, so there you have it.
Quote of the Day, 1/17/08
“I think it’s a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist, and it’s something that you have to earn, because a Scientologist does. He, or she, has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions. Uh, being a Scientologist, you look at someone and you know absolutely that you can help them . . . Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it’s not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you’re the only one who can really help . . . We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind . . . we are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures . . . “ — T. Cruise
Watch the crazy man here! My ‘favorite’ part is his crazy-man crazy laughter with 5 minutes to go, talking about SPs, or ‘suppressive people.’
I Love Chick Tracts!
 
©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody). |
Battle of the Bands XLI
Here are the next batch of band names from Luke (Children of Rock moves on, along with Quirinius and In the Deserts)!
Bible Discussion — Luke 4
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter of Luke, Luke 4.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38
INTRODUCTION:
David:
John lists three things that drive the flesh: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. Eve exhibited all three in man’s fall, finding the fruit good for food, pleasant to look upon, and desired to make one wise.
Jesus too faced all three in the wilderness: hunger, the glimmering apparition of all the world’s glory, and a challenge to his pride that began with, “If you really are the son of God:” Our fall is completely reversed in what Jesus faces to start off this chapter.
MC-B:
In this whirlwind passage, Jesus meets the Devil, becomes famous, heals the sick, and declares Himself to be the fulfillment of the prophesies of the Old Testament.
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
MC-B:
I missed Jesus’ explanation of how no prophet is accepted in His hometown, probably because when I’ve heard this chapter covered in the past, the focus has been on Jesus’ reading from Isaiah.
Connie:
How much deliverance Jesus did at the start of His ministry. Initially it just mentions that He teaches, but when it comes to hands-on ministry, he deals the most with deliverance — because tormented people cannot listen/hear.
Josh:
I’d never paid much attention to the story of Jesus in the synagogue. I just imagine what it would be like today for someone to stroll into my church, pick up a Bible and read it aloud, then basically say, “Yep, that’s me.”
Steve:
I never really thought about how Jesus escaped from the crowd who wanted to kill Him in verse 30. Wouldn’t it be interesting if He just snuck out somehow, hiding behind some fat guy or something? I know that He could have transported Himself elsewhere, blinded His foes, or jumped off the cliff and flown away, but wouldn’t it be more in fitting with His character to just humbly sneak away?
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
David: Brokenhearted
Steve: High Fever
Josh: Hometown Prophets, Screamin’ Demons
MC-B: Highest Point
Connie: Simon’s Mother-in-Law
Joke of the Day, 1/16/08
A farmboy accidentally overturned his wagon of corn in a ditch. The farmer who lived nearby heard the ruckus, and yelled over to the boy, “Hey, forget your troubles! Come in and have dinner, and then I’ll help you get the wagon out.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” the boy answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.”
“Nah, come on in,” the farmer insisted.
Finally, the boy agreed. “Okay, I’ll come over, but I’m telling you Pa won’t like it!”
After a hearty dinner, the boy thanked his host. “I feel much better now, but I know Pa’s gonna be real upset.”
“I’m sure he’ll understand,” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”
“Under the wagon.”
Arthritis
I remember from hours upon hours of studying for those Scripps-Howard Spelling Bees in middle school (yes, I was a hardcore speller) that the word arthritis was technically a compound word. “Artho-“, I learned, was Greek and had something to do with the joints of a vertebrate animal. “-itis”, as a suffix, meant some kind of problem, sickness or malady. Put them together and you have the reason your aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other lovable elders complain that they can “feel the weather changing in their bones.” We get old — so do all the nuts and bolts that hold us together.
But the reason arthritis has been in my head lately is not because of the (utterly amazing!) elderly people at my church either here or at home, nor is it because of too much time spent with my grandparents, hearing their complaints. I’ve been thinking about it today because my knuckles are quite sore, and I know that I don’t have arthritis.
Why should you care about this? Well, perhaps you can identify with my situation. In the last few hours, I have typed probably close to fifty emails, reminders, and schedule changes. I have taken down agendas, written to-do lists for myself and for others, taken notes, and begun to (electronically) organize events. And so, in a very melodramatic (and typical, my friends will tell you) fashion, I resort to hyperbole (“I feel like I’ve got arthritis!“) to voice my complaint at the hectic pace into which I seem to be descending.
I wonder why so many of us (perhaps not just at Houghton, as a great part of Bweinh’s readership has never visited the bloody — er, blessed — place) feel the need to keep up this pace. Now, God has indeed given us gifts of time management, organization, passion, opportunity, and guidance to keep us sane through the insane times. God continually shows me that when I seem to be at my lowest, my busiest, my most dead-from-exhaustion, that is when GOD, not I, is glorified.
All that taken as it is, and it is truth, can it really be good for us, in the service of our Master, to fill our plates to overflowing? From the one to whom much is given, much is required…so also God can (and does) give us the ability to know how much we can handle — it’s part of His reaffirming love and support.
So although I must conclude this post by apologizing for the misleading title (those of you who expected a thrilling psychosocial, or even biological, discourse on arthritis, your disappointment is my fault alone), I hope that if, in the next few days, your knuckles are sore from the drudgery of work, you will inhabit some time asking God for wisdom and discernment with your busy schedule. And then put that wisdom and discernment to use.
Best of Bweinh! — Metric/Imperial Clash
Originally printed on April 17, 2007!
| In this corner, supporting the metric system, is Tom! | And in this corner, supporting the imperial system, is Mike! | |
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As a people, Americans have always paid our collective independence more than its share of lip service. We claim to be a land of freedom, say we have thrown off the bonds of tyranny that yoked our nation in her infancy, and present ourselves to the world as a paragon of liberty. Yet we persist in using a system of weights and measures based not on any semblance of sense, but on the whims and physical characteristics of the despotic few who governed the monarchies of antiquity. The standard system ruled the roost of world business for centuries, growing comfortably fat off the toil of our brows and calculating machines. Wide rolls of strange numerical conversions began to hang from its jowls as it glutted itself at the table of commerce. Was this monster decimal? Octal? Dodecahedral? Who could afford to question? Time was better spent trying to determine the number of ounces in a hogshead, or inches in a furlong. But a new wind was about to blow. Amid the tumult of the last time the French showed any collective semblance of bravery, a few daring souls decided to forge a universal system of measure. Rather than the length of a king’s thumb, or the volume of your average sheep bladder, they selected a length they would use for a base, a length of the people. The world was changing! The king was dead; he could no longer force the people to memorize numbers like 12, 16, 1160, or 5280! Instead, they counted their fingers, counted their toes, averaged the result and arrived at the number 10. That’s right, the same number upon which our entire system of numbers is based. Not only can you convert between a nanometer and a kilometer just by moving a decimal place, you can even move between two and three dimensions without straining. Without measuring someone’s anatomy. Without consulting a council of bearded elders, table of ciphers or magician’s grimoire. When was the last time a child was able to proudly tell his teacher the number of cubic inches in a gallon? But any precocious tot can be instructed that a thousand independent little cubic centimeters together become a proud, powerful liter. In a time of increasing foreign tension, should we really be raising the next generation to measure the world in a way foreign to the others who call it home? Is it worth enduring the confusion and inconsistency of the standard system, just so our grandchildren will measure their ice cream in the manner of our fathers? Just look into your heart, and count your toes. I think you’ll find they hold the answer. |
I pastor a church in a threatened part of the world. Chester County, Pennsylvania, just east of Lancaster, is a county of rolling hills and mushroom farms, and is a traditional home to horse trainers. You can still pass an idyllic Saturday in the southern part of the county watching the county as it used to be. But the town where I pastor, Exton, has long been under threat. Every chain restaurant in the world, it seems, has moved in. I live about twenty minutes away, in Coatesville; a mere ten-minute drive from our church or home could take you to five McDonald’s, three Wendy’s, two Friendly’s, three Applebee’s, and countless other familiar restaurants that have conspired to all but destroy local cuisine. We don’t need more themed chain restaurants beating the individuality out of us, and we sure don’t need a metric system forcing us all into a mold, even if it is a perfectly square, perfectly sensible, extremely user-friendly mold. Do you really prefer the meter to the yard? We know how the meter came into being: it was a product of the “pure reason” so popular (and so stunningly bloody) in the French Revolution. Indeed, in 1799, the French stored away the originals of the meter and the other metric units, adorning the metric system with the motto, “For all men, for all time.” On the contrary, we don’t know precisely where the yard comes from, only that its origin lies in charmed tradition. The girth of a person’s waist? The distance from Henry VIII’s nose to the tip of his outstretched thumb? No one knows for sure–all we know is that it’s a much better story than a bunch of progress-minded revolutionaries laying off the bloodshed long enough to standardize something random, then attempting to force the rest of the world to use it. And they have tried to force the metric system. Don’t believe me? Ask the “Metric Martyrs,” a group of five English grocers who were fined for failing to measure their produce in metric units. Ask any Canadian you want. Their government went to the trouble of creating a logo to demonstrate their allegiance to metric’s new world order, pushing imperial users into underground quietness. Like Narnians, they must patiently await their chance to again enjoy their nation as it used to be. So, go ahead, vote for the metric system. And while you’re homogenizing the world, would you also cast a ballot for eradicating local accents, closing the family-owned hardware store, and creating a list of state-approved songs for worship? Thanks so much. |
Quote of the Day, 1/15/08
“I am not attempting to be exonerated because I meet your standard of reasonableness, because first of all I don’t care what your standard of reasonableness is . . . I don’t grant you at all the right to sit in judgment of whether or not I’m reasonable. I’ll grant that to my advertisers, I’ll grant that to my readers, I’ll grant that to friends and people in the social society who may marginalize me or shun me if I’m too rude . . . I will suffer the penalties of civil society, I will suffer the marginalization of polite company . . . I will suffer that from my fellow man voluntarily, but I do not grant to you or any other instrument of the state the right to tell me whether or not I am reasonable enough to pass your test.” — E. Levant
The Council’s Ruling — State to Sell
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — If we had to sell a state to pay off the national debt, which should it be?
Steve delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Chloe, Tom, David, and Djere:
Hawaii — it’d fetch a tremendous price, it wouldn’t give a foreign nation a foothold on our mainland, and it lacks Alaska’s tremendous resources.
Erin dissents, joined by Mike:
The entire Eastern Seaboard. It would bring the most yield and be least missed.
Connie dissents:
Arkansas — because they must be held responsible.
MC-B dissents:
California. Riddled with earthquakes and hippies, getting rid of it can only due us good. We’ll move Silicon Valley somewhere else.
Josh and Job played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time: Which kitchen appliance, besides the fridge, do we appreciate the most?
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Most Admired People
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by OxiClean: now specially formulated to clean your . . . baby?!?
| Rank | Person | Points | ||
| 1. | George W. Bush | 11 | ||
| 2. | Ronald Reagan | 9 | ||
| 3-4 (tie) | Job Tate; Tom Selleck | 8 | ||
| 5. | Billy Graham | 7 | ||
| 6-10 (tie) | Mother Teresa; Josh Jones (2018); Richard Dean Anderson; Rich Mullins; St. Francis of Assisi | 5 | ||
| Other | Robin Roberts; AC Green; Peter Furler; JMW Turner; TS Eliot; Derek Webb; Omarosa; Glenn Beck; Charles Stanley; Matt Redman; Danny Wegman; Justin Guarini; Bill Cosby; Bart Simpson; Billy Mays; L. Ron Hubbard; Elizabeth Edwards; Tom Cruise; Bigfoot; O. Henry (candy bar) | 1-4 |
Joke of the Day, 1/14/08
A drunk guy walked into a bar and looked up to see a woman with a French poodle in her arms. The drunk slurred, “Where’d ya get that pig?”
The shocked lady snapped back, “I’ll have you know this is a Frrrrrrrrench poodle!”
The drunk looked back at her. “I was talking to the French poodle!”
Bramble for President!
I know it doesn’t show but I’m a cynic at heart. It wasn’t always that way; I came into the world wide-eyed, trusting and naïve. When my older brother took me out behind our garage on Olive Street at the tender age of 6, handed me a lit cigar, and said, “Inhale this as deep as you can,” I truly believed he had only my best interests at heart — and surely was not doing something just to amuse him and his best friend.
So whether I can blame him, or the first used car salesman I ever met, I don’t know, but I am what I am. Maybe it’s just an accumulation of impressions formed over the 46 years of fun I’ve had on this big, warm and fuzzy blue playground of a planet we call home.
Anyway, my favorite parable in the Old Testament appears in Judges chapter 9, and I always think about it during election years:
The trees went forth on a time to anoint a king over them; and they said unto the olive tree, “Reign thou over us,” but the olive tree said unto them, “Should I leave my fatness, wherewith by me they honor God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?”
And the trees said to the fig tree, “Come thou, and reign over us,” but the fig tree said unto them, “Should I forsake my sweetness, and my good fruit, and go to be promoted over the trees?”
Then said the trees unto the vine, “Come thou, and reign over us,” and the vine said unto them, “Should I leave my wine, which cheers God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?”
Then said all the trees unto the bramble, “Come thou, and reign over us,” and the bramble said unto the trees, “If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow:”
They chose the tree that had nothing else going on in its life, the tree that would be useless and avoided at all costs, if not for their desire to have someone rule over them. They want a leader in the worst way — and that’s exactly what they get.
I’m no theologian, but the implication seems clear enough to me. The choice, for the trees, seemed to come down to being fruitful, productive citizens who refreshed their fellows with their rich and varied natural gifts — or becoming “public servants” who did none of those things. I hear all the rhetoric about “public service” and “civic duty,” but yeah, right. I don’t buy it.
My feeling has always been that the various hoops we make people jump through to get into high office almost invariably produce brambles. It has always saddened me to see how many young men and women are willing to give up a chance at good, honest employment for bramblehood.
It reminds me of Rich Mullins, who mentioned an ancestor of his who was elected to public office, but added something like: “We were able to overcome that as a family, and lead honest, productive lives.”
Clash of the Titans LXIII: Huck a Conservative?
| In this corner, arguing that Mike Huckabee is a conservative, is Job! | And in this corner, arguing that Mike Huckabee is not a conservative, is Steve! | |
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Steve wants me to make the argument that Huckabee is a conservative. While I think this is as easy as arguing that the oceans are wet, Steve seems to think it will require a verbal kung fu of fantastic flips and acrobatic maneuvering to prove. Steve thinks this because he has his own vision of a conservative, and being a consistent Republican gives him some degree of clout in that theatre. However, Steve is not the mold from which all conservatives are born, and it is ridiculous for him to state, unequivocally, that issues such as the pro-life movement (and Governor Huckabee’s lifelong support of it) don’t even begin to align the man from Hope with others who also call themselves “conservative.” There is not a soul on the planet that I agree with on everything. I could probably even make a creepy, Freudian argument that I don’t even agree with myself on everything. From W to Huckabee to my own father, I don’t completely agree politically with anyone, although I support all those three with thorough veracity. This is because the greater cause of a person with a conservative worldview is the achievement of a more conservative world — and it is obscene and politically motivated to try to say that Mike Huckabee is not a bona fide conservative, with some of the best traits of that station. First, Mike Huckabee is the most serious outspoken and unmuddied pro-life candidate in the history of the party. He never engages in double-speak, and harbors true disgust for the attitude towards the unborn in the country. He also is aggressively against homosexual unions and for pulling out of Iraq prematurely. He is against universal health care, which is fast becoming a pan-liberal stance, and he wants to get rid of the income tax — the great golden chalice of American fiscal conservatism. The governor also makes his support for Israel, Taiwan and South Korea a central part of his campaign, and he makes his intention of further pressure on the Cuban dictatorship an integral part as well. Huckabee was the first governor in the country to have a license for a concealed weapon, and his lifetime membership in the NRA is just the beginning of his support for Second Amendment rights — arguably the most authentic and robust of all the candidates. Mr. Huckabee is also a supporter of capital punishment (a point I personally disagree on, but a traditionally conservative one) and is the only candidate who has ordered the execution of inmates. Really though, Steve just wants to rail against Huckabee’s history on taxes and immigration. I throw out immigration immediately. The issue of illegals in this country is too new, too organic, to immediately find its issues falling into political categories. I, with my President, support the guest-worker program. Many conservatives do not. But the supporting of the integration of Mexican people and culture into our country does not yet have a political home. True, Mike Huckabee did aggressively lobby to allow the children of illegals born in this country to qualify for state scholarships — but I think it’s sad I have to teach a civics class to explain that if you’re born here, no matter the circumstances that brought your fetus over the border, you are a United States citizen. And it’s perverse to punish those children for their parents’ crime. On taxes it’s true that the Governor had to raise taxes at times during his term, in response to the demands of his liberal legislature, but the Governor also lowered taxes with every chance he got. I doubt anyone would make the argument that George H. W. Bush is not a conservative, although he himself raised taxes as President. Sometimes, regrettably, tax-raising is a fact of federal life. And frankly, it can require a certain brand of bravery to do it. But, as Steve asks us to do with Romney’s newfound social conservatism, we should dismiss the past and accept the candidate on what he currently runs on, and Huckabee runs on a tax-cutting platform. By every spoken and stated stance he takes, Governor Mike Huckabee is a true blue social and fiscal conservative and it’s painfully laughable that anyone should think otherwise. |
This is not a political website; it is a website about everything, from the perspective of writers and thinkers who seek to follow the example of Jesus Christ. Several of us, and many more of you, don’t care much about politics, and so I try to ensure you won’t be overwhelmed by a flood of political coverage here. But some of the most interesting issues to me (and maybe you) are those bearing on faith. When Mike Huckabee began to take off, largely on an appeal to evangelical Christians, I watched closely. I did a lot of research on the man, what he believes, what he’s done, what he stands for. And I am left to conclude one thing. Mike Huckabee is not a full-spectrum conservative. Maybe you aren’t either! If not, this debate isn’t really that relevant. You might find that the governor’s beliefs match up well with your own, and if so, great! For Mike, those include a desire to close the Guantanamo Bay prison and bring al-Qaeda prisoners into the United States, granting them full constitutional rights and access to our courts — oh, and a promise to sign a federal ban on smoking in all public places, Constitution be darned! And I almost forgot how he freed thousands of prisoners and took hundreds of thousands of dollars in questionable gifts! Ahh, post-modern conservatism. I need to make an admission, though. On social issues, to his great credit, Mike Huckabee is a consistent conservative. He is a friend of life and I will not minimize that for one second. But there are three legs to the conservative coalition, three parts to its whole. Gov. Huckabee possesses only one of those legs, the one, in fact, that the president affects the least. And if you’ve ever had the misfortune to sit on a one-legged stool, you know it won’t hold you up for long — even if it has a winning wooden smile and proudly boasts its status as a “Christian stool.” One of those legs is foreign policy. Gov. Huckabee wrote, in an article he submitted as part of a series in Foreign Affairs, that our nation has been a cocky high school student that “dominates others” around the world. Willfully ignoring the actual history of attempts to gain UN cooperation that predated the Iraq invasion, he went on: “The Bush administration’s arrogant bunker mentality has been counterproductive at home and abroad.” When asked about the biggest foreign policy news during the campaign season — the new National Intelligence Estimate on Iran — Huckabee was ignorant and clueless. Later, his excuse for cluelessness pointed the finger, again, at our sitting commander-in-chief: “President Bush didn’t read it for four years; I don’t know why I should read it in four hours.” Condoleeza Rice finally had to smack him down with the truth. Which party are you in again, Huck? In these dangerous times, I don’t want a candidate who doesn’t know what he’s talking about in Iran or Pakistan, and can’t figure out who his foreign policy advisors are, probably because he doesn’t have any to speak of. The third leg is fiscal conservatism. Job doesn’t mention that the results of Huck lowering taxes “every chance he got” was a net tax INCREASE of $505.1 million. And he wasn’t always “forced” to do it either — that link recounts his requests for tax increases. But now he misrepresents his record. Fiscal conservativism relies on cutting taxes whenever appropriate, and lowering spending whenever possible. That’s not Mike; under him, state spending increased 65.3% from 1996 to 2004, three times the rate of inflation. It is not BRAVE to raise taxes, as Job improbably argues to my left (in so many ways). It is liberal — just like Huckabee’s endless rhetoric bloviating against CEOs and businesses. I sense a pattern. And his hopeless plan to replace the income tax with a national sales tax is not conservative. It’s just crazy. Conservatives share a certain mindset — the underlying principles that have served the movement for years, including respect for life, belief in smaller government and a proper understanding of the Constitution and liberty. Mike Huckabee has the first principle in spades. But in place of the other two, he has something else entirely — a desire to have government solve our problems. This is the antithesis of conservatism. And it’s not at all “obscene” to point that out. |
Quote of the Day, 1/11/08
“Iowa and New Hampshire will do anything to be first. You populous states can’t beat them, because they want it more than you do. They’re like the people who camp out for two weeks so they can be in front of the line to buy tickets for a hot concert, except that instead of a hot concert, it’s a chance to shake hands with Duncan Hunter six different times.” — D. Barry
Human Nature
I like a lot more people than I trust.
Part of this is because I know myself. I’m aware of what I think about and what I have thought about. I remember the things that I have done, wanted to do, could be capable of doing.
Much of it is because I know other people, generally. How they lie. Why they lie. What motivates them. People, in the flesh, in the mind, are not really very different from one another; it’s just a matter of which flaws they possess. One woman can handle huge sums of money faithfully, yet fly into a violent rage when angry at her children. One man might remain untempted to stray from his wife, but struggle with the desire for mind-altering substances.
I get paid to read about people now, sometimes, and the terrible things they have done, to help determine whether their punishment was fair. It would be nice to imagine, as Solzhenitsyn wished, that the solution to evil is simply finding all the bad people and destroying them. Unfortunately, that won’t work — or better put, it works only if done most thoroughly. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
And so I find it can be true that a man guilty of heinous crimes against some children can nonetheless be beloved by others, can be hailed, perhaps rightfully, as a pillar of his church and community. It seems incongruent, it seems wrong. How can a person do both? How can, for instance, a successful and married evangelical pastor purchase (at least) methamphetamine and, in all likelihood, carry on a homosexual affair?
Life is easier and less threatening for us if we can divide people into well-defined, recognizable groups — the inhuman monsters who rape and murder, the unwashed dissolute who “live in sin,” and then the nice people, whether Christians or not, who pretty much get along with everyone and try to do their best.
But by pretending that what drives the ‘worst’ among us is somehow different from the evil that still exists in our own heart, we set ourselves up for a grand disappointment — by ourselves, and by our heroes. And when this self-deception leads us to marginalize our own sinfulness (after all, we’re not beating children or taking meth, right?), we skip happily down the path of slow and steady compromise, the broad way that leads to destruction, an evil anesthesia that scars the heart and leaves us less and less convicted with every sin we rationalize.
Chick Answer — 2008 Edition
How did Curt earn his scholarship??
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If you picked “Dealing drugs and killing people,” you’re a winner!!
Y A A A A A A A A H H H!
©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).
Joke of the Day, 1/10/08
Three explorers were hiking through a vast forest that would eventually become Canada.
“You know,” said the first explorer, “we should name this vast forest we’re hiking through.”
“I know,” said the second explorer. “We’ll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that.”
“Good idea,” said the third explorer. “You go first.”
“Okay,” said the first explorer. “C, eh?”
“My turn,” said the second explorer. “N, eh?”
Unfortunately, before the third explorer could choose a letter, a bear jumped out of the trees and killed and ate all three explorers.
Eventually, some guy came along and named the country after his aunt.
–Comedy Central
Boundaries in Forgiveness
I recently had a conversation with a good friend about forgiveness. She had a painful childhood, but she’s found a way to forgive those who hurt her — forgetting. She remembers who hurt her and the general idea of what happened, but she can’t remember specific fights, words or wounds. She’s moved on, and used the results of her broken childhood to become a brilliantly insightful writer and poet.
Nevertheless, my friend still receives pressure from her extended family to forgive her parents. They believe that forgiveness means making contact with her father, going back to her mother’s house on vacations, etc. Essentially, they want her to act like the sins were never committed and submit herself to the possibility of being hurt again.
I know another woman who had a difficult life, somewhat due to her family. She claims to forgive them, but daily brings up specific incidences when they hurt her. She believes that one can forgive without forgetting, and sees no problem with rehashing those wounds, both with her family and with other people.
These are three different concepts of forgiveness, three coping mechanisms for conflict in the human brain. Jesus instructed us to forgive infinitely, but did he tell us how to treat the people we forgive? Is it healthy to forget? If not, what do we do with those memories? Where do we set up boundaries against those who have hurt us, or should we set up boundaries at all? Take a moment to think about it, and then please leave your comments and experiences, as well as any verses you find particularly applicable.
Battle of the Bands XL
Congratulations to Plan B, the winner of our Romans band name playoffs! It’s apparently so good that a Google search for it turns up at least four or five current bands, including an intriguing “hip hop/a capella” group from the UK!
Past winners were Kindred (Genesis) and Stripe for Stripe (Exodus).
Here are the next group of entries from Luke (Struck Mute moves on)!
Bible Discussion — Luke 2:41-3:38
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next section of Luke, Luke 2:41-3:38.
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40
INTRODUCTION:
David:
This section offers the one small glimpse of Jesus’ childhood afforded us. If it was important to know more, we would. If he had done astounding miracles and dispensed wisdom destined to be Scripture (as fabricated in other works), we would have seen evidence of that in the Gospels.
Connie:
Jesus grows up and gets ready to begin His ministry. His cousin John is featured prominently in this passage.
Steve:
This part of Luke is very interesting, the opening movement to a great symphony. There are foreshadowing notes of Christ’s power to teach, the compelling counter-melody of John the Baptist, the crescendo at baptism when the two lives reconnect, and then the introductory genealogy, like a drum roll as we wait for the ministry of Christ to begin.
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Chloe:
John addresses the 3 major people groups in his sermon — the crowd (the community), the tax collectors (the sinners or the government), and the soldiers (the outsiders or the law enforcement). Random, but kind of cool.
Josh:
I’d never noticed the wording that people assumed Jesus was Joseph’s son (v. 23). I guess I never stopped to think if it was known among the people at the time that He was not, in fact, Joseph’s blood.
Along those lines, I’ve found it strange that Jesus’ genealogy is traced through Joseph, with whom He shared no bloodline, instead of through Mary, with whom He did. I understand that the custom of the day was paternal lineage, but I’d still be far more interested in knowing Jesus’ actual ancestors.
Steve:
It’s no wonder Jesus is such a popular name among Spanish speakers; one of Jesus’ great-great-great grandfathers was named Jose!
David:
In 3:12, the Publicans called John “Master,” which is the word rabboni. It is a term that shows great respect and admiration. John was not viewed as some jack-leg preacher; he had respect as a learned man of God, and his grasp of OT scripture backs that up.
Connie:
John’s call to repentance is followed by questions from the crowds of “How?” His answer is to love others — by seeing to their needs. Another example of faith without works being useless. And his answer is not to rely on heritage — good fruits were required now.
Erin:
It says that Jesus’ parents didn’t understand what he was saying when he stayed behind in the temple. What must that feel like, to know that your ‘child,’ the Son of God, is speaking beyond your comprehension?
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
David: Son of Arphaxad
Chloe: Unaware
Steve: Custom Feast; Son of Er
Connie: Cosam
Erin: Hill Made Low
Josh: Children of Rock
Quote of the Day, 1/9/08
“I want all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.” — A. Dawson
Chick Tract — 2008 Edition
©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody). |
Focus on the Fancy-Free Vol. 3 — Babies
Read Volume 1 and Volume 2 !
Q. Dear Focus on the Fancy Free: Babies are so expensive, smelly, messy and time-consuming. Should I really have a quiverful? — Jeremiah, New York
A. Thanks for writing, Jeremiah, and thanks for giving me the opportunity to say that most beautiful word — “No.” Not only are babies extremely time-consuming and high-pitched, they are also narcissistic. Their focus on being constantly held, hand-fed and coddled, while making every social event a personal stage for their tears is a classic example of conceit and self-absorption.
In short, babies need Christ — but I do not feel called to that mission field.
I adopt the Shaker stance of non-procreation. The Shakers were a British religious group who came to the States and established a series of hard-working and harder-worshiping colonies of Christians. They believed that if no one had babies, the end times would somehow be expedited, but they were so successful that there are currently only four of them left, in one small community in Sabbathday Lake, Maine. I guarantee they’re not interviewing youth pastor candidates. Their congregation is not rife with petty jealousies, discussions about introducing a drum kit into the worship service, or talk of bake sales — but most importantly, they do not have to endure the spine-shattering wails of an infant.
I would probably become a Shaker if it didn’t require such long hours of intense manual labor — another Shaker tenet.
Anyway, I know it’s a tough question. Many women can’t imagine a life without a baby, and most men can’t imagine a life without those same women. This type of algebra almost inevitably produces tots, with their Oshkosh overalls, plastic sippy cups filled with “juthe,” and back pockets full of crushed Cheerios.
Kids are simply unavoidable, so the discerning male must avoid these bambinos in any great amount. They are all-consuming! One either spends all his time severely spoiling the youth, aggressively rebuking them, or broiling in self-doubt about whether they’re doing one or the other, too much or not enough.
So yeah, have a baby or two. But show some restraint! Skip that third child and buy a nice home in Florida instead. Not only will it prove cheaper, but it will also give the kids you do have a tidy inheritance — which will help assuage their sadness over your years of distant and detached parenting.
Joke of the Day, 1/8/08
A husband comes home early from work and catches his wife with the mailman. Before they see him, he sneaks back onto the porch, finds the mailbag, steams open the letters, inserts coupons from his rug-cleaning business, and seals them tight.
“Ha ha ha,” he snickers. “That lazy mailman who is shirking his duties works for me now!”
–Comedy Central
Ask Bweinh! Poll — 2008 Candidates (#4)
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by C-Span, which has asked us to remind you that today at 1 pm, they will be airing a riveting speech by Nancy A. Nord, acting chairman of the Consumer Product Safety Commission, on “major product safety challenges.”
C-Span! Feel the power!
Four months after our last poll and one day before the New Hampshire primary, we return to the question of our next leader!
| Rank | Candidate | Points | Previous | |||
| 1. | Fred Thompson | 26 (2) | 1, 7, NR | |||
| 2. | John McCain | 26 (1) | 5, Other | |||
| 3. | Mike Huckabee | 24 | 4, 4, 6 | |||
| 4. | Mitt Romney | 23 | 3, 1, 1 | |||
| 5. | Alan Keyes | 13 | NR | |||
| 6. | Rudolph Giuliani | 11 | NR | |||
| 7. | Barack Obama | 9 | Other, 5, Other | |||
| 8-9 (tie) | Dennis Kucinich; John Edwards | 5 | NR; 6, NR, 7 | |||
| 10. | Duncan Hunter | 4 | Other, 10, NR | |||
| Other | Hillary Clinton; Bill Richardson | 1, 3 | NR |
The Council’s Ruling — Christmas Decorations
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — What is the latest day one should still have Christmas decorations up?
The Council was unable to reach a majority ruling on this issue.
Chloe offers this opinion, joined by MC-B:
January 7th. They’re wilting and old, and only make you look back when you should be looking forward.
MC-B offers this opinion, joined by Erin:
January 7th, a week or so after New Year’s.
Tom offers this opinion, joined by David:
That decision rests solely in the heart of a man, specifically in the part that allows him to weather his wife’s nagging.
Connie offers this opinion:
January 4.
Steve offers this opinion, joined by Mike:
February 1. There’s no reason why Christmas decorations, if tastefully done, cannot enliven an otherwise bleak January.
Josh, Djere, and Job played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time (seriously this time): If we had to sell a state to pay off the national debt, which should it be?
Romans Band Name Playoffs — The Finals
It’s time once again to add to the Pantheon of Biblical band names! Here’s our final vote!! Which band name do you prefer?
Past winners? Kindred (Genesis) and Stripe for Stripe (Exodus).
Quote of the Day, 1/7/08
“To be ignorant of the past is to forever be a child. For what is the time of a man, except it be interwoven with that memory of ancient things of a superior age?” — Cicero
Clash of the Titans LXII: Coffee v Tea
| In this corner, arguing for coffee, is Connie! | And in this corner, arguing for tea, is Djere! | |
|
While tea lovers revel in tea’s health benefits, naysayers worry that anything as deliciously stimulating as java must be unhealthful. Most recently, coffee has shed its dangerous reputation, as researchers uncover evidence showing that coffee is safe in moderate amounts and might have some surprising benefits! For instance, drinking more than four daily cups of coffee lowers the risk of diabetes. Tea has no similar effect. Coffee protects seniors against Parkinson’s disease, and is linked to lower rates of liver and colon cancer, while the FDA says more research is needed to support tea’s anti-cancer claims. Coffee is also chock-full of disease-busting antioxidants, the number one source of such chemicals in the American diet. Butsowhat? We don’t really drink it because it has health benefits — that’s just a bonus. We suck it down at a rate of 400,000,000,000 (yes that’s 4 HUNDRED BILLION) cups a year because it tastes so good! Lines at the local Starbucks any weekday morning are far longer than the voting lines in November. To say that coffee is a habit, bordering on a national obsession, would not understate the case. Coffee has become such a staple in the West that no event, public gathering or meal for large masses can be held without taking the “coffee factor” into account. Quick Facts: But what’s the true source of coffee’s momentum? Perhaps it’s the blanket of aromas (ahhhhhhh), the taste (love it!), the hot nutty-sweet bite of flavor teasing our tongue (Vanilla Biscotti from Folgers is hea-venly), or the lush, familiar warmth of our kitchen hearth and bouquet of mother’s cooking. It takes us home again and starts new traditions with our own families. Coffee is a win/win/win. |
Coffee or tea? It’s a question that’s haunted mankind for the ages. It will be answered here, today. From time immemorial, mankind has been drinking medicinal teas for just about every ailment under the sun. Can’t sleep? Have some tea. Nausea? Have some tea. Heartburn? Indigestion? Upset stomach? Diarrhea? For most gastrointestinal ailments, there’s an appropriate herbal tea that, let’s face it, tastes better than the pink stuff. Coffee, on the other hand, can cause insomnia, heartburn, constipation, upset stomach, and the like. Coffee 0, Tea 1. Coffee is one of those foods. You know, the ones that always smell better than they taste? It’s true and you know it. The aroma of coffee is strong and inviting. But the taste just lets you down time and time and time again. One sip and you remember why people have to add flavor, sugar, cream or milk to make coffee bearable. Tea, on the other hand, is as versatile as it is delicious. Feeling Christmassy? Have a nice peppermint tea. Feeling groggy first thing in the morning? Perhaps a nice English Breakfast Tea is in order. Feeling like commanding a starship? “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.” is right up your alley. Equally aromatic, quintessentially delicious… tea is the way to go. Coffee 0, Tea 2. Ever since Ahmed Al-Starbucki first opened up shop, pushing his harmful wares on Christendom, the price has been ridiculous for coffee, and it’s just getting worse. The only way I’ll touch the stuff is with a healthy dose of milk, chocolate, and sugar, but six bucks for a stupid drink that’s just going to bind me up? Heck no! Tea’s a commodity. You can buy boxes of the stuff for cheap, and all you need is hot water. Coffee 0, Tea 3. From tummyaches to mistletoe to Jean-Luc, tea’s just the better choice. And so many choices! Hot or iced, tea has it all! |
Romans Playoffs: Semifinals
It’s time once again to add to the Pantheon of Biblical band names! Take a minute to vote in the semifinal round of the Romans playoffs!
Past winners? Kindred (Genesis) and Stripe for Stripe (Exodus).
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