All The Debates
- Best of Bweinh! — The Pope v. Billy Graham
Mike (backing the Pope): “You can mess with a guy named Billy. You cannot mess with a Ratzinger. You wind up trashed, excommunicated…or worse. The man’s first papal encyclical was entitled Deus Caritas Est — ‘God is love.’ Notably absent was any statement of Benedict’s own feelings. The obvious message: God is love, and Benedict ain’t. The man is a flat-out papal bull.”
Job (on Billy Graham’s side): “The very notion that Pope Benedict could somehow best Billy Graham is so ludicrous I almost asked to be recused. No chance in heaven! . . . Graham’s a natural fighter; whether Nixon or Parkinson’s, he handles his problems personally with sleeves rolled up and pride rolled down.”
- Best of Bweinh! — Married/Single Clash
Tom (happily single): “Marriage lets a man grow beyond the boundaries he places on his social life. Many single men prefer the company of a particular group of friends, spending the majority of social time with them, coming to know them well. Once a man is married, these constraints are taken from him, and he can come to full social fruition. New friends he would not have chosen! New activities he does not enjoy! An entire new family with whom to spend holidays, reunions, excruciatingly boring conversations, and arguments!”
Djere (pleasantly married): “Being single has its advantages. Gas mileage, for example. With only one person in the car, you’ll use less gas, you know, when you drive places… alone. And you’ll never have to worry about another person changing your radio stations. In fact, you never have to be exposed to any tastes other than your own! Gosh, that does sound pretty good… cruising down the highway of life — alone — listening to the same old songs on the radio…”
- Clash of the Titans LXI: China
David (China is our enemy): “Anyone remember why Japan bombed Pearl Harbor? America was flexing its economic and military muscles in Asia, and Japan felt they had one choice — expand or die. They gambled on confronting the dominant power in Asia rather than settling for playing second fiddle for the next few hundred years, and they lost. China has the sense to know they will face that same choice one day. It is no secret that they are preparing for it, and so are we.”
MC-B (China is not our enemy): “Friendliness among nations isn’t measured by alliances and military agreements as much as it used to be. Rather, it is measured in dollars, and in economic terms we have seen over and over again that in the era of globalization, ostracizing any one large nation hurts everyone involved far more than cooperation does.”
- Best of Bweinh! — Crosswords v Sudoku
Djere (crosswords): “Unlike the crossword, which requires creativity, logic, and knowledge, Sideko is solved by logic (or luck) alone. And speaking of alone, Saduka is usually solved alone, a testament to the poor social and hygiene skills of its practitioners. The crossword is truly a democratic puzzle — the game of the everyman.”
Tom (Sudoku): “Sudoku’s simple, yet elegant rules can be learned in minutes. . . Compare that to the nuances of a typical crossword puzzle. If there’s an abbreviation in the clue, does that mean the answer is abbreviated as well? In what tense do they want this word? And what’s with all the Latin?”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXIX: Text Messages
Josh (anti-texts): “I like having actual conversations, raising the level of discourse somewhere above three letter quips and emoticons. I like actual human contact and real social interaction, yet I see people surrounded by readily ignored friends, heads down, thumbs blazing. No, thanks.”
Steve (pro-texts): “When my phone buzzes, I’m truly excited — there are all manner of interesting people in my contact list, and I can’t wait to see which one has fired a thought my way. Maybe an interesting observation, maybe a long-forgotten reference to a shared experience, maybe the continuation of a philosophical debate: whichever, whatever, I want to see it. I guess I’m sorry Josh’s friends are so boring.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXVIII: Houghton and Point Loma
Kaitlin (Point Loma): “From the outstanding nursing program to the renowned science department, the school\’s academic departments have few equals in the private Christian university circuit. . . . The faculty are on the whole not only experts within their fields, but deeply involved and mindful of their students\’ personal well-being.”
Job (Houghton): “Ah, Houghton. Remote, yet easy to find (just one exit from the major highway, 14 miles distant), and located in one of the poorest counties east of the Mississippi, Houghton has no city appeal. . . . Houghton, as a destination, is only worth visiting for its express purpose: educating the young Christians of the future.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXVII: Unions
Erin (pro-unions): “Consider for the moment the things that unions still do. They offer an alternative to an expensive (and truthfully, often wasted) college education, instead providing marketable skills, the model of a good work ethic, and a group of people who not only lobby for their needs, but also form a community.”
David (against unions): “Unions have become bloated, self-serving political organizations used to control the actions, assets, and politics of the poor schmucks unlucky enough to trapped by them. They hold wages at an artificially high level and stifle productivity, while often protecting workers who are unmotivated, yet militantly committed to protecting their own livelihood.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXVI: The Olympic Games
Kaitlin (anti-Olympics): “The Olympic Games throw into sharp relief the drastic differences in advantages of rich and poor countries. Between the commercial sponsors and the unavoidably constant testing of the human body to see how far it can go, the Olympics are practically just a giant, corporately backed, international science experiment.”
Steve (pro-Olympics): “In a world where truth seems all too elusive, where postmodernism rips at the foundations of belief, sports offer exactly what we crave: standards and objectivity, doled out by the hands of a clock and the numbers on a scoreboard. Yes. The Games are expensive. But they are also useful, inspiring, fun — and part of what makes us uniquely human.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXV: Where to Park?
Connie (parking close): “My time is at a premium and I must protect it at all cost. I simply cannot afford to park rows away when a spot is available closer. Plus, with the time I\’ve saved, I will be more prepared for my appointment. I will be seated sooner, remembering points or questions I plan to raise or cover.”
MC-B (parking far): “As a youngish man, I simply cannot see a reason to drive around the parking lot looking for a good space and wasting time when I could park at a moderate, or even far distance, and get there almost as quickly. Additionally, there are a number of benefits to parking far. Exercise is probably the most obvious. . .”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXIV: Dressing Up
Job (against dressing up): “Dressing up has become increasingly uncomfortable, inefficient, impractical and at times blatantly immoral ”” if not through the exposure or enhancement of flesh, then by the consuming, metastasized materialism that boils inside those dedicated to looking ‘good.’ ”
Chloe (in its favor): “When Job came to visit Steve, he was dressed in his Navy uniform. The attendant at the toll booth saw his outfit and gave Job a significant discount on his toll. Job has found that when he dresses up in his uniform, he not only gets more respect, he also gets a lot of freebies and discounts.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXIII: Rap Music
Kaitlin (against rap music): “Rap music gives many consumers a false sense of familiarity, a fake compassion. Said Hank Shocklee, a prominent producer in the rap industry and half of rap ensemble Public Enemy: ‘If you\’re a suburban white kid and you want to find out what life is like for a black city teenager, you buy a record by N.W.A. It\’s like going to an amusement park and getting on a roller coaster ride ”” records are safe, they\’re controlled fear, and you always have the choice of turning it off. That\’s why nobody takes a train up to 125th Street and gets out and starts walking around. Because then you\’re not in control anymore: it\’s a whole other ball game.’ ”
Mike (in favor of rap): “I don’t mean to romanticize gangsta rap; I recognize that much of it is not pure artistic response to harsh realities but created by and for a listening market. But listening to it — even the worst of it — keeps me connected to an urban society different from my own. At times, contact with that different culture challenges me to change and ask provocative questions; for instance, we should ask why inner-city America is still overwhelmingly religious while the suburbs are increasingly secular, if not atheistic. That challenges me, makes me think about what is deficient about the brand of Christianity I practice.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXII: Married v Single
Tom (happily single): “Marriage lets a man grow beyond the boundaries he places on his social life. Many single men prefer the company of a particular group of friends, spending the majority of social time with them, coming to know them well. Once a man is married, these constraints are taken from him, and he can come to full social fruition. New friends he would not have chosen! New activities he does not enjoy! An entire new family with whom to spend holidays, reunions, excruciatingly boring conversations, and arguments!”
Djere (pleasantly married): “Being single has its advantages. Gas mileage, for example. With only one person in the car, you’ll use less gas, you know, when you drive places… alone. And you’ll never have to worry about another person changing your radio stations. In fact, you never have to be exposed to any tastes other than your own! Gosh, that does sound pretty good… cruising down the highway of life — alone — listening to the same old songs on the radio…”
- Best of Bweinh! — Women In Ministry
David (different roles): “It would be wrong to suppose, just because I am on the opposing side of this issue, that I favor a ban on women in ministry. My first two pastors were women and I have nothing but the utmost respect for the role they played in my early development as a Christian. I simply think there are unavoidable Biblical statements that must be incorporated into our understanding of what is and isn’t appropriate for how women function in the body of Christ.”
Steve (ordaining women): “I do believe that in general, men and women are called to different roles in the family and church. But God has made us all unique, with different gifts. Not all women have the gift to encourage; not every man can teach. It would be improvident to suggest, based on two passages and the Fall, that we should limit the use — or even the context of the use — of some of God’s gifts to half of His people.”
- Clash of the Titans XVIII: Hockey Fights
Mike (anti-fighting): “A near-apocalypse would happen if a dozen (coincidentally?) mostly black NBA players cleared the benches and brawled; lengthy suspensions would result and white America would cluck their tongues at how bad the NBA’s getting. But if we have a “code” for mostly white players to live by, with consequences like getting your teeth knocked out, then suddenly it’s quaint!”
David (pro-fighting): “I’m going in a different direction — economic concern. For the Goons — what else can these guys do for a living? These are not, as one athlete has said, ‘the brightest tools in the shed.’ These people have struggled to learn human speech and have even found a meaningful way to contribute to society that (usually) doesn’t involve violent crime. Why turn them out?”
- Clash of the Titans LXXXI: Prose v Poetry
Chloe (prose): “Think of all your favorite authors when you were little, all the people you learned to read from. Tell me, how many of them were poets? I\’ll wager not a lot, because kids can\’t learn to read on poetry. Why? Because it doesn\’t make sense! . . . Poetry is nice, I\’m sure, for those ten people in the United States who get it. For the rest of us, though, prose is the more interesting, accessible way to go.”
Erin (poetry): “I think that poetry is about something deeper than the conveying of information: it\’s about the beauty inherent in everything that there is to convey. Even tragedy or atrocity point to what could be beautiful and no longer is. Poetry isn\’t necessarily about an argument, or a description, or a collection of thought; and that is why it is wonderful.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXX: Short-Term Mission Trips
Job (against short-term missions): “Dear ____: While our youth group leader isn\’t sure yet where he feels ‘led’ to take the youth group on our annual summer mission trip to any non-American place that\’ll have us, we\’ve been told to raise $3000 anyway. So I’m writing you! Won\’t you please donate $100 so I can spend a day traveling to Honduras or somewhere, a day to recover from jet lag, four days to hammer away on a roof or something, another day to sight-see, and then a day flying home?”
Josh (in favor): “Many people have ministries almost entirely defined by the short term, including the apostle Paul, and — in a way — Job’s own pope-whuppin’ hero, Billy Graham. One man plants, another waters, you know the drill. And who said a missions trip has to be to the other side of the world? Job correctly recognizes that there are fields to be harvested right in our backyard, and yet he still frames this debate in caricature. Having personally led student-based mission teams all over the northeast United States, I can assure you that not every effort fits that mold.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXIX — The Stanley Cup
David (Philadelphia): “Why was I so sure (after game 1) that Philly would win the series and have a shot at winning it all? Because, while weathering the first game storm, they still scored four times — and each goal was effortless. Washington scored five goals in a frantic pace they could never sustain, but the Flyers sat back, played patient hockey, and netted four effortless goals. It takes three things to win the Stanley Cup — solid defense, opportunistic offense and hot goaltending. The Flyers show all three. ”
Djere (the Flyers): “Today, things are changing. Eclipsing even the shadow of One Liberty Place is the new Comcast Center, the tallest building in all of Pennsylvania. How will this change the sporting atmosphere of Philadelphia? Comcast owns the Flyers and the 76ers — and attached to the tallest beam on the skyscraper is a statue of William Penn. From his new perch, high atop the Comcast Center, ol’ Billy Penn can finally stand at ease as the tallest man in his woods, lifting his curse with him.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXVIII: Co-ed Dorms
Erin (co-ed dorms): “Keeping women in one dorm and men in the other warps the ideals that either gender has of each other. . . when women live together in one place, warped expectations emerge as regards how men act on a day-to-day basis. I’ve lived in close proximity to unrelated men for extended lengths of time, and every time, I came away thinking about the differences between the sexes — and appreciating them!”
Steve (single-sex dorms): “Co-ed dorms do not reflect real life, because they are not much like reality. They are a contrived environment vastly unlike any other in the world, and if you think they’ll help you learn about men, I expect you’ll learn the wrong things. Besides, living with the opposite sex is not the same as knowing them. . . I don’t understand how seeing female classmates brushing their teeth in pajamas would have improved our interaction — or much of anything, really… At least anything worth improving.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXVII: Basketball
Mike (backing B-ball): “Basketball is the most egalitarian game one can play. A $10 basketball and a neighborhood court, YMCA, or high school gym, and you can play. No bats, no helmets, no pads. There are no height requirements; there are advantages to being small and quick, and advantages to being a giant though slow afoot. . . Basketball also can serve as a language when words will not do.”
Tom (anti-basketball): “From the super-short super-tight shorts of the 70s to the ridiculously baggy ones popular today, basketball has long acknowledged its status as court jester in the kingdom of sport. Yes, basketball remains true to its roots: slapdash construction of a peach basket with a hole in it, dreamed up by some Canadian to give his students something to do when it was too wet to go outside and play a REAL sport.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXVI: Cats and Dogs
Connie (cat lover): “Thanksgiving ’98: I run home for a stick of butter I left on my kitchen counter. As I enter, I encounter a strange smell that could only be described as “fouler than death,” and the butter is missing. When I call my dog, she slinks over to me. Suddenly, I see why: there is butter-induced dog puke all over my kitchen — and my living room. But we weren’t finished! To top it off, she left a cow liver in the hallway!”
David (pro-dogs): “Dogs are working animals. Blind people use seeing-eye dogs to navigate the world, and policemen use specially trained dogs to search for drugs, firearms, and explosives. Dogs control crowds; they find escaped criminals and lost Boy Scouts. Ranchers use dogs to round up sheep and cattle — nursing homes use them to improve the mental and physical health of the elderly. What do cats do, again? Oh yes, nothing.”
- Best of Bweinh! — MySpace Clash
Steve (against MySpace): “I just hate MySpace. I hate its clunky, horrifying design, strips of blue flanking unreadable text links and unending advertisements for insurance, movies, and ladies’ underwear. I hate Tom. . . And I hate, more than anything, how every time I go on the blasted site, I have to clear out solicitations from seminude women, advertisements for natural male enhancement, and spam comments full of broken images and Trojan horses.”
LaKendra (totally for it): “DO you know whats on most girl’s minds but they won’t tell you or will they. I am telling you this because it is the honest truth, look I should know… Anyway you won’t believe this. that day I just filled my zip and my address in a form. A few days later I got a Visa Gift Card worth $500,and was told it can be used at any store!!! It really worked when I trying to buy an iPod!! Cost me nothing! LOL…. ”
- Clash of the Titans LXXV: Money in Politics
Erin (too much money): “The current congressional salary (2008) is $169,300 per year. The annual salary of the president was increased to $400,000 per year, including a $50,000 expense allowance, and the vice president makes $221,100. . . So are they being paid too much? I think so. . . The bigger idea that I want to address is that there is too much money in society as a whole.”
Steve (not enough money): “Presidential candidates in 2004 spent about $661 million in that race. That sounds awfully high, doesn’t it? But it turns out McDonald’s spent $635 million in advertising by itself — back in 2001! General advertising for “cooking products and seasonings” topped $675 million four years before that! And way back in 1998, $720 million was spent on alcohol advertising JUST INSIDE STORES. I happen to think that the future of our country — the First Amendment — is a little more important than Mrs. Dash and Captain Morgan.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXIV: The United Nations
Djere (no UN): “The UN still can’t decide whether the crisis in Darfur is regional unrest, civil unrest, or just plain, old, run-of-the-mill GENOCIDE! Oh, sorry, the UN-sanctioned term is ‘gross violation.’ So, sorry, 200,000-400,000 dead Sudanese, you haven’t been genocided, you’ve been ‘grossly violated.’ What I propose is simple: relegate the UN to the minor leagues and start our own global organization devoted to awesomeness and peace through strength.”
MC-B (pro-UN): “The UN was created partially to fill a perceived need for world government, but it is not particularly effective politically. As a result, it instead finds its strength in coordinating and administering humanitarian responses, and it has performed these types of missions very successfully. Whether or not the UN could be 1000 times better than it is, its existence has helped the world.”
- Best of Bweinh! — Hot v. Cold
Steve (pro-cold): “It’s true people are more comfortable in warm-weather attire, but let’s think about extremes. If you’re too cold, you can always put on warmer clothing, or more of it. But when it’s hot outside, there’s a pretty strict legal limit on how high you can, uh, let your freak flag fly. Even if you can get nekkid, there’s no guarantee that unfortunate decision will cool you down enough to be comfortable.”
Chloe (pro-heat): “[Y]ou can easily move in the attire required for a hot day, which is next to nothing. More importantly, school can’t be canceled in the heat because there is no school! That means days filled with tans, swimming pools, water fights, picnics, sports, and siestas. Oh, yes, siestas. It’s a physical impossibility to work when it’s 105 degrees out, ladies and gentlemen. That means you quit at 1:00 and don’t start up again until 6:00, if at all!”
- Best of Bweinh! — Is Hell Eternal?
Job (finite hell): “While I can find a duality of thought in some verses, this one [1 Corinthians 1:8-10] is far too straightforward to be renegotiated per the notion that the damned are due the déjà  vu of recurrent scorched skin. Paul infers nothing but a totality of dismissal from consciousness.”
David (eternal hell): “[M]y belief in eternal hell is not based on [C.S.] Lewis’s work or personal preference, but the authority of the Bible. It is stated clearly in Matthew 25:46 that “these [the wicked] will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” . . . The punishments of hell are just as eternal for the wicked as eternal life is for the righteous, whether we consider purgatory or annihilation.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXIII: City v Country
Chloe (country): “On the way home [from work in the country], I’ll wave at the people I pass on the mountain. Some I recognize, others I don’t. When I get home, Grandma and I will eat dinner on the porch and watch the thunderstorm march over the valley. We’ll take the dogs on a long walk before settling down with some hot chocolate and a good book by the time the storm breaks over us.”
David (city): “I once lived on a farm for a summer, and I can assure you, it gets boring when your nearest neighbor is a mile or more away. What good is a chess set with no one to play? What good is a softball field if all you can do is bat rocks with a stick while playing an imaginary game in your mind? Any truly joyous activity requires the presence and participation of other human beings. And you can find them in the city.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXII: Toilet Paper
Today, Bweinh.com welcomes two special guest contributors to argue the classic question: should the toilet paper be rolled from the front or the back?
Tawny (front): “See, when it comes to toilet paper, there’s one way, period. And if any of you ever try to bring those weak backwards ways into my bathroom, I’ll shiv you with the roller, wrap you up with Charmin King Tut-style, and drag you out to my trunk in the dead of night. The police will never find your body.”
Agnes (back): “No, no, my friend. The paper belongs in the back. It’s prettier. It’s more elegant. It’s safer from the claws of my four cats (Muffin, Muffin II, Chatty Catty Kitty, and Muffy). It balances the energies in my bathroom and restores me to a state of inner peace. And if you disagree with me, may God have mercy on your soul.”
- Clash of the Titans LXXI: White Meat v Dark Meat
Job (white meat): “White meat is not only healthier, easier to handle, and not disgusting — but it complements, and is complemented by, other foods. It doesn’t demand a stage all to itself, but instead favors a team effort in pleasing your palate. From gravy to casseroles to cold sandwiches to soups, white meat knows how to delegate.”
Connie (dark meat): “I’ve heard all of the stories about how dark meat contains more fat, but for years, I’ve been singing the old song, “If loving you is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.” And now, I’ve been vindicated — as you shall see from my research. By the way, that research says red meat belongs in the the dark meat family, so a vote for the pasty white stuff is a vote against the good old American Porterhouse!”
- Clash of the Titans LXX: Oprah
Mike (PROprah): “[W]e often forget the remarkable good Oprah has done. I’m not simply talking about her new South African school or other big donations, important though those are. I’m talking about a far greater accomplishment. I’m talking about the fact that I have been in many gatherings of white women, my grandmother’s age, talking about a black woman seriously.”
Josh (NOprah): “When it comes to the hero worship of the big O, I just don’t get it. Other than going on several semi-successful diets and giving away more cars than Bob Barker, what has she done that’s all that impressive? I mean, besides all that charity work. More to the point, what has she done for me?”
- Clash of The Titans XIII: Fire
Job (fire is overrated): “If my little single-engine plane crashed in Alaska, leaving my bush pilot dead and me miraculously alive, you best believe I ain’t wastin’ none of my precious time or energy runnin’ around like JoJo the Idiot Circus Clown, trying to make fire. What’s it gonna do, really? Warm my extremities? Cook the snow rabbit I’ll never catch?”
Djere (fire will save your life): “When the sun goes down, Earth loses its heat source. When the planet loses its heat source, so do you. And a survival situation is more than just the discomfort you face while jogging six blocks down the street to Starbucks to get warm, Job. When base camp is hundreds of miles away, when there are no straight lines to gauge direction and distance, when you’re injured and you can’t just follow your nose back to your Froot Loops, what will you do?”
- Clash of the Titans LXIX: Crosswords v Sudoku
Djere (crosswords): “Unlike the crossword, which requires creativity, logic, and knowledge, Sideko is solved by logic (or luck) alone. And speaking of alone, Saduka is usually solved alone, a testament to the poor social and hygiene skills of its practitioners. The crossword is truly a democratic puzzle — the game of the everyman.”
Tom (Sudoku): “Sudoku’s simple, yet elegant rules can be learned in minutes. . . Compare that to the nuances of a typical crossword puzzle. If there’s an abbreviation in the clue, does that mean the answer is abbreviated as well? In what tense do they want this word? And what’s with all the Latin?”
- Clash of the Titans LXVIII: Racial Profiling
Erin (anti-racial profiling): “[H]ow is it even possible that racial profiling — the practice by law enforcement officers of taking into account racial or ethnic background when taking action — could seem right? . . . What gives our law enforcement officers the right to arrest someone based on the way that they look instead of their behavior? Nothing gives them the right. It is systemized racism, and should not be tolerated.”
MC-B (supporting it): “If a white male of average build has brutalized someone while walking down the street, does it infringe on anyone’s constitutional rights if . . . a few white males of average build are taken aside and questioned? We are at war with certain parts of the world whose inhabitants happen to look a certain way, and we need to react to that fact with smart policies designed to prevent attacks rather than kowtowing to PC sensibilities.”
- Clash of the Titans LXVII: Illegal Immigration
Steve (enforce immigration laws): “Illegal immigration continues [a] pattern of shameful exploitation, success on the backs of the poor and powerless. . . The farm lobby lies through its greedy, manure-specked teeth when it says enforcement of our laws would drive lettuce to $35 a head. What big business truly wants is a permanent underclass of simple-minded drones, human machines who can be replaced at will, paid a pittance, and discarded when necessary.”
David (loosen the restrictions): “Could you really tell a man whose child is starving, ‘Fill out this form and leave it at the desk, we’ll call you if something comes up’? I couldn’t. I wonder what you would do if your family was living in poverty, while 50 miles to the north, there was enough money to lift them out of despair and sickness — all you had to do was get there and work for it. Would you not do everything in your power to help them, regardless of the rules?”
- Clash of the Titans LXVI: US Troops to Darfur
Job (pro-intervention): “This can’t be misconstrued as a search for oil or hegemonic dominance. This is an instance where the darkness of the world is winning, while we do nothing about it . . . a darkness of ideology that continues to dim the value of life and the vigor of freedom all over the world. Our indifference to the plight sickens me on a personal level and frustrates me on a policy level.”
Chloe (anti-intervention): “[H]ow could anyone say that the U.S. shouldn’t send troops to Darfur? It’s simple — sustainability. History has taught us that the only way improvements can occur is through sustainable development. . . Consider intervention like a drug. Morphine is meant to alleviate pain. Unfortunately, if it’s administered without prudence and discretion, the recipient will become addicted, and the drug will destroy his life.”
- Clash of the Titans LXV: Surveillance Cameras
Connie (pro-cameras): “Natalee Holloway, 18, disappeared while on a post-graduation senior trip in Aruba. She was last seen leaving a popular nightclub with three young men [who] were arrested but released, and there was no security tape available of her on the island . . . I could have listed numerous cases of missing kids where cameras could have provided some needed answers and valuable closure. I personally believe that when you are in public, you and your actions are public property.”
Mike (anti-cameras): “I am willing to compromise my right to privacy in extraordinary circumstances, or simply for something special I enjoy. But I am unwilling to compromise my right to privacy simply to walk around town or use the subway. Does that mean that occasionally people will violate the rights of others, even the sacred right to life? Yes, of course, and those people should be punished appropriately. But violating the basic rights of all to protect against a few predators is simply unacceptable.”
- Best of Bweinh: The Dinosaur Clash
Djere (T-Rex): “Broadly speaking, the only lame thing about the T. rex is the disproportionate size of its teeny forearms. But recent discoveries show that the arms, while small, were incredibly muscular, designed to hold its prey in place while it was devoured. So who’s it going to be? The Tyrant Lizard King, with his gigantic brain, or the dim-witted, hopelessly lame, salad-eating ‘thunder lizard’?”
MC-B (bronto/apatosaurus): “The brontosaurus now seems more like the mighty United States (its fossils have also been found here). And the T-Rex is placed squarely with the North Koreas and Irans of the world: noisy and fussed over for weaponry, but in the end unable to match the sheer size and power of its mighty adversary in a fair fight. Do not reject America’s proud heritage of reluctant heroism and unmatched power in exchange for tyranny and a set of shiny teeth.”
- Clash of the Titans LXIV: Star Wars v. Star Trek
Josh (Star Wars): “Star Wars has so much more to offer. They have better characters and better actors (not that it’s that hard to overcome the ongoing intentionally unintentional joke that is William Shatner). There’s the charisma of Han Solo, ably played by Harrison Ford, easily the most successful actor from either franchise. There’s the mystery and wisdom of Obi Wan Kenobi, originally thanks to the legendary Sir Alec Guinness. There’s spunky old Yoda and his beloved verbal patterns, part of a genius partnership with Jim Henson. And of course, there’s the terrifying Darth Vader, with the booming voice of James Earl Jones — consensus choice for the greatest screen villain of all time.”
Tom (Star Trek): “Star Wars gets points for sheer numbers, but let’s face it: their robots are annoying. Neurotic gold-plated three-dollar C3PO flutters around uselessly, his talents for “interpreting” rendered useless by a voice that engenders a burning hatred in the end-user. Data, on the other hand, is a positronic-brained android of the classic Asimov model, neither annoying nor metallic-looking. Sure, he may not look human, but he wants to be, which is more than you can say for the whirring, beeping R2D2.”
- Best of Bweinh! — Metric/Imperial Clash
Tom (pro-metric): “Not only can you convert between a nanometer and a kilometer just by moving a decimal place, you can even move between two and three dimensions without straining. Without measuring someone’s anatomy. Without consulting a council of bearded elders, table of ciphers or magician’s grimoire. When was the last time a child was able to proudly tell his teacher the number of cubic inches in a gallon? But any precocious tot can be instructed that a thousand independent little cubic centimeters together become a proud, powerful liter.”
Mike (pro-imperial): “Do you really prefer the meter to the yard? We know how the meter came into being: it was a product of the ‘pure reason’ so popular (and so stunningly bloody) in the French Revolution. . . On the contrary, we don’t know precisely where the yard comes from, only that its origin lies in charmed tradition. The girth of a person’s waist? The distance from Henry VIII’s nose to the tip of his outstretched thumb? No one knows for sure–all we know is that it’s a much better story than a bunch of progress-minded revolutionaries laying off the bloodshed long enough to standardize something random, then attempting to force the rest of the world to use it.”
- Clash of the Titans LXIII: Huck a Conservative?
Job (Huck is conservative): “There is not a soul on the planet that I agree with on everything. . . from W to Huckabee to my own father, I don’t completely agree politically with anyone, although I support all those three with thorough veracity. This is because the greater cause of a person with a conservative worldview is the achievement of a more conservative world — and it is obscene and politically motivated to try to say that Mike Huckabee is not a bona fide conservative, with some of the best traits of that station.”
Steve (Huck is not): “Conservatives share a certain mindset — the underlying principles that have served the movement for years, including respect for life, belief in smaller government and a proper understanding of the Constitution and liberty. Mike Huckabee has the first principle in spades. But in place of the other two, he has something else entirely — a desire to have government solve our problems. This is the antithesis of conservatism. And it’s not at all ‘obscene’ to point that out.”
- Clash of the Titans LXII: Coffee v Tea
Connie (backing coffee): “Lines at the local Starbucks any weekday morning are far longer than the voting lines in November. To say that coffee is a habit, bordering on a national obsession, would not understate the case. Coffee has become such a staple in the West that no social event, public gathering or meal for large masses of people can be held without taking the “coffee factor” into account.”
Djere (fighting for tea): “Ever since Ahmed Al-Starbucki first opened up shop, pushing his harmful wares on Christendom, the price has been ridiculous for coffee, and it’s just getting worse. The only way I’ll touch the stuff is with a healthy dose of milk, chocolate, and sugar, but six bucks for a stupid drink that’s just going to bind me up? Heck no! Tea’s a commodity. You can buy boxes of the stuff for cheap, and all you need is hot water.”
- Clash of the Titans LXI: China
David (China is our enemy): “Anyone remember why Japan bombed Pearl Harbor? America was flexing its economic and military muscles in Asia, and Japan felt they had one choice — expand or die. They gambled on confronting the dominant power in Asia rather than settling for playing second fiddle for the next few hundred years, and they lost. China has the sense to know they will face that same choice one day. It is no secret that they are preparing for it, and so are we.”
MC-B (China is not our enemy): “Friendliness among nations isn’t measured by alliances and military agreements as much as it used to be. Rather, it is measured in dollars, and in economic terms we have seen over and over again that in the era of globalization, ostracizing any one large nation hurts everyone involved far more than cooperation does.”
- Clash of the Titans VII: Youth Ministry
Job (critical of youth ministry): “When I think of what we could do with the funds spent on youth ministry, I get excited. Churches could hire a prison pastor, a pastor for the elderly, a director for service projects. I’m uncomfortable with the fevered sense of inadequacy some bodies feel without a youth pastor, and the depth of our love for this template for success in the face of such a morass of spiritual needs. The preoccupation with youth ministry baffles me.”
Josh (defending it): “If Job wants to know where the urgency and insecurity comes from in churches without an intentional youth ministry, I have a theory — they don’t want their church to die off. Which is exactly what would happen to a group that failed to bring in new, young blood, and is, in fact, exactly what has happened or come close to happening in many churches. ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’ ”
- Clash of the Titans LX: The Simpsons
Erin (arguing against the ubiquity of the Simpsons): “During my time on the camp ministry team this summer, I learned a few valuable lessons. One was never to buy flip flops that you don’t think can take some serious wear ‘n tear. Another is that, not infrequently, teens’ misbehavior is an expression of much deeper psychological issues, not just rebellion. The third is — I can’t stand the Simpsons.”
DjereHoss (loving the Simpsons): “New this past summer was The Simpsons movie, which — in my opinion — was one of the greatest movies of all time. Homer saved a pig and started singing: ‘Spider Pig, Spider Pig, does whatever a Spider Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No, he can’t, ’cause he’s a pig! Watch out — here is a Spider Pig.‘ Meanwhile, he was holding the pig to the ceiling and there were hoof prints everywhere…” - Clash of the Titans LIX: Muslims and Mormons
Steve (arguing the Mormon faith is more similar to Christianity): “I tell you now — it is indisputably true that the Mormon religion is more similar to Christianity than is Islam. I don’t claim the LDS faith is true, so this debate might be about who is ‘more wrong.’ So who cares? Well, in a world where some wrong people are trying to kill you, while others want you to give up Diet Coke, a little exposition of the fine lines might be necessary.”
Job (claiming Islam is more similar to Christianity): “Islam is wrong, but they tell us with equal vim that we are just as wrong. We are not arm in arm, tiring our fingers out counting our comparisons. And so I see Muslims as more like us, the same way I’d see an Iranian sailor as more like me than the fellow dressed as one selling cell phones at the mall on Halloween.”
- Clash of the Titans LVIII: Library Internet Censorship
Tom (against Internet censorship in libraries): “Censorship’s main problem is the inelegance that defines its operation. To function properly, a censor’s parameters must be defined by a person, and enforced by a machine. . . There are many ideas on the Internet with which a given librarian may not agree. . . Restricting access to one arena opens the door wide to restriction for any other, and I fervently believe that the power to restrict people’s access to ideas could and would be misused.”
Chloe (supporting it): “Library computers exist to assist in research and provide those without access to a computer the opportunity to use the Internet. They are not there to enable people to look at pornography or read about methods of violence. If a person wants to expose himself to such filth, he should get his own computer and do so in his own home. But when a free service is provided by public funds, we have the right to impose restrictions.”
- Clash of the Titans LVII: Job Tate’s Existence
Josh (attesting to Job): “Is Job a real person, or is he merely some sort of literary device — a real man with real adventures or just an allegory, meant to teach us a lesson? . . . [W]e have photographic evidence. While many people on the Internet use phony photos to deceive others, this is usually done to upgrade their attractiveness. I don’t see how that could possibly be the case here.”
MC-B (doubting Job’s existence): “I sometimes wish that I could be happily ignorant, believing with all my heart that somewhere out there in the ether a benevolent Job Tate watches all that goes on at Bweinh.com and smiles, but I cannot. I am too rationally-minded to put my faith in children’s fairy tales any longer…anecdotal evidence won’t cause me to put my faith in a concept as ethereal and unreliable as Job Tate.”
- Clash of the Titans LVI: Is Baseball Boring?
David (baseball is boring): ” Upon leaving the “on-deck circle,” the player initiates an “at-bat” by performing a series of rituals, which include spitting, scratching, adjusting his athletic supporter, clearing his nasal passages using either digital extraction or single nostril compression, adjusting the Velcro straps on his batting gloves, rubbing dirt on his gloves, inspecting his bat, and swinging the bat several times to assure it is operating properly.”
Erin (baseball is not boring): “Much of the time, when thinking of baseball, people look instead to a sport such as basketball, and they expect baseball to be roughly the same . . . but baseball is different. It is slower, more careful, but at the same time, it contains all the enthralling moments that make sport so very addicting. It takes concentration and precision to play, and (horror of horrors!) attention and patience to watch, but these just make it even more enjoyable.”
- Clash of the Titans LV: Speeding
Connie (against speeding): “When you speed as a Christian, you compromise your testimony — strike one. When you speed, you waste money, time and resources — strike two. And when you consistently break the law, you put yourself and others in very real danger — strike three. And you’re not just out, you could be dead — or worse, you could have killed the love of your life, or someone else’s. Try living with that.”
Steve (in favor): “I drive about 5 mph over the speed limit on city streets, sometimes lower if no one is around, but often a bit higher when there’s traffic. And that’s the real reason I speed — the flow of traffic demands it. It’s one thing to stubbornly stick to the letter (or number) of the law when you’re Sunday drivin’ down a deserted lane, but driving 30 mph on a busy boulevard will get you tailgated and cursed.”
- Clash of the Titans LIV: Soccer
Djere (for soccer): “Americans want to be entertained. The cure? Soccer! Hands down, the single most aesthetically appealing points in any sport — bar none — are soccer goals. How many times can you see some 11-foot-tall college dropout reach up and place a ball in a basket?”
Mike (against soccer): “Soccer’s big here in the ‘burbs, where people have it all, but are in constant fear of losing it all. The incredibly dull nature of the game gives these people time to ponder the emptiness at the core of their lives and makes them even more agitated about it. Suddenly, a ref’s judgment call turns into a personal attack on my precious little Fiona! Hell hath no fury like a tight-lipped nervous suburbanite scorned.”
- Clash of the Titans XXVII: Legalizing Marijuana
In this corner, supporting the legalization of pot, is Mike! And in this corner, opposing marijuana legalization, is MC-B! Those of you who know me as being perhaps on the theologically liberal end of the spectrum of Bweinh!tributors may be surprised to find out that I am essentially politically conservative. This is something that has […]
- Clash of the Titans LIII: Eating Healthy
In this corner, eating healthy, is MC-B! And in this corner, eating unhealthy, is Steve! Isn’t eating healthy awesome? Yeah, I know it is. Sometimes, you’ll go to the dining center or the kitchen or whatever and be like, “I want something delicious, but not too terrible for me.” Then you remember that big brick […]
- Clash of the Titans LII: Profanity
NOTE: This Clash contains certain words that might be offensive to some readers. Viewer discretion is advised. In this corner, against profanity, is Connie! And in this corner, supporting it, is Chloe! I have to extol the virtues of not using profanity. I bet you think I’ll pull out Scripture like Col. 3:8 (“…put off […]
- Clash of the Titans LI: Television
In this corner, a television supporter, is MC-B! And in this corner, against TV, is Tom! We all know that television is a “vast wasteland”; I don’t think anyone would argue against the idea that television producers could use a little more moderation in the schlock they put on the air. Americans as a whole […]
- Clash of the Titans L: Gas v. Charcoal
In this corner, on the side of gas, is David! And in this corner, backing charcoal, is Josh! Meet the Gutierrez family. After suffering catastrophic health issues in Mexico, they left their native land to emigrate to the United States. Settling (illegally) in an affluent Hispanic community in the lush suburbs of Macon, GA, they […]
- Clash of the Titans XLIX: Universal Health Care
In this corner, against a national health care system, is Steve! And in this corner, supporting it, is Connie! No one wants to see people suffering in sickness without access to health care. I understand the terrible dilemmas faced by the uninsured poor in America, and I know that there really are people who cannot […]
- Clash of the Titans XLVIII: Public Broadcasting
In this corner, opposing PBS, is David! And in this corner, supporting it, is Tom! Public broadcasting is part of an evil plot to subvert our country’s youth by filling their minds with liberal politics, designed to turn them all into leftist car-burning radicals. That being said though, it isn’t really the main reason I […]
- Clash of the Titans XLVII: Ketchup and Mustard
In this corner, on the side of mustard, is Connie! And in this corner, backing ketchup, is MC-B! I married into a ketchup family 30 years ago, and though I’ve raised six ketchup-loving children, some of them like mustard as well. So as the leader of a successful multi-condiment family, I think I’m well-qualified to […]
- Clash of the Titans XLVI: The Drinking Age
In this corner, saying we should lower the drinking age, is Job! And in this corner, arguing to keep it at 21, is Tom! I’ve never had a drink of alcohol in my life. I had it in my mouth once by accident — I was toasting a friend at his wedding and was told […]
- Clash of the Titans XLV: Women In Combat
In this corner, against, is Steve! And in this corner, for, is Djere! Let me get the possibly offensive, yet totally true, arguments out of the way first. Women are weaker than men — significantly weaker. Till adolescence, girls can hold their own in a fight, but the same biological imperatives that turn boys into […]
- Clash of the Titans XLIV: “Fantasy” Games
In this corner, backing OGame.org, is MC-B! And in this corner, on the side of fantasy football, is Josh! I’ve got nothing against fantasy football; I’m sure it can be very engaging. However, I’m a person who likes to keep fantasy truly fantastic. If I didn’t have to be who I am right now, is […]
- Clash of the Titans XLIII: Why I’m Hot
In this corner, telling us why he’s hot, is Mims! And in this corner, strenuously disagreeing, is Carly Simon! My heat is well-known and self-evident. No fair observer of American popular culture could conclude otherwise. But in my frequent travels across this great country, I have faced the obvious question, often from schoolchildren and the […]
- Clash of the Titans XXIII: Wikipedia.com
Originally published on May 19. In this corner, arguing for Wikipedia, is Mike J! And in this corner, arguing against citing Wikipedia, is Steve! Let’s be honest and first admit that Wikipedia has its shortfalls. The accuracy of many articles is a concern, and it the format also has difficulty when the facts about a […]
- Clash of the Titans XLII: Meat
In this corner, backing beef, is David! And in this corner, arguing for bacon, is Djere! Last year Americans consumed 28 billion pounds of beef, a new high of 70 lbs. per person. If turned into 1/4-pound patties and laid end to end, that’d be enough hamburger to keep a dork with no life busy […]
- Clash of the Titans XLI: Die Hard v. Pirates
In this corner, on the side of Bruce Willis/John McClane, is Connie! And in this corner, backing Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow, is Chloe! I must say I was somewhat excited about this Clash, and I’m not ashamed to say it was at my suggestion that it is even here for your Clashmusement. I also should say […]
- Clash of the Titans XL: Apples v. Oranges
In this corner, fighting for apples, is Josh! And in this corner, arguing for oranges, is Josh! In the late 1700’s and early 1800’s, John Chapman became “Johnny Appleseed,” by traveling throughout the Midwest planting apple seeds ahead of most pioneers. This choice was neither coincidental nor capricious. There was no Johnny Orangeseed. Why apples? […]
- Clash of the Titans XV: Starbucks Coffee
Originally published on April 20! In this corner, attacking Starbucks, is Steve! And in this corner, defending Starbucks, is Chloe! If only they were included in those annual surveys of whom Americans trust, drug dealers might manage to bump car salesmen and lawyers out of the basement of public esteem. Typified in the collective mind […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXIX: Fish
In this corner, backing up the fish, is Tom! And in this corner, standing against all things piscine, is Steve! A miracle is, by definition, a very special thing. Whether the word is ascribed to the birth of a baby, the parting of the Red Sea, or a game winning 3-point shot at the buzzer […]
- Best of Bweinh! — HPV Vaccine Clash
Originally published on April 27, 2007. In this corner, arguing against a standard HPV vaccine, is Job! And in this corner, arguing for a standard HPV vaccine, is Tom! I am very much not a father. I am very much not a female. But I do think it is somewhat possible that I might someday […]
- Best of Bweinh! — PC v. Apple Clash
Originally published on March 17, 2007. In this corner, arguing for the PC, we have Tom! And in this corner, arguing for Apple, is Djere! The question of which platform is superior between PC and Macintosh is not a trivial matter. Thousands of lines of text in forums decry one, exalt the other, each citing […]
- Clash of the Titans X: The Pope and Billy Graham!
Originally printed April 3, here’s a real interfaith dialogue! In this corner, supporting Pope Benedict, is Mike J! And in this corner, backing Billy Graham, is Job! Sit down, Billy. The Holy Father is about to educate your behind. Seriously, let’s think about this, people. In one corner, you have a backwoods preacher from the […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXVIII: Soda
In this corner, opposing soda, is Chloe! And in this corner, supporting soda, is Mike! So I did all this research for this Clash, 23 pages worth, and it thoroughly convinced me I was right in calling soda (pop) the drink from hell, and then I realized none of you care and you’re going to […]
- Clash of the Titans II: Blondes and Brunettes
From Bweinh.com on March 6th, it’s our take on one classic battle! In this corner, arguing for the supremacy of blondes, we have Tom! And in this corner, arguing that brunettes are #1, we have Josh J! Vickie Lynn Hogan. Norma Jean Dougherty. Two lovely young women. Two talented young women. But two beloved American […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXVII: Deal or No Deal?
In this corner, saying “No deal!”, is your heart! And in this corner, yelling “Deal!”, is your brain! What?? I don’t understand why the offer went down. I think the offer should be higher than that, but I don’t know. Dad, what do you think? You know, that is a lot of money, but it’s […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXVI: Outsourcing
In this corner, supporting outsourcing, is David! And in this corner, opposing the practice, is Chloe! I am 46 and I’ve been a salesman nearly all of my adult life. I don’t know everything, but I know some things. Globalization, outsourcing, whatever else you want to complain about, it’s all inevitable. Without getting deep into […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXV: Dinosaurs
In this corner, claiming the superiority of the tyrannosaurus rex, is Djere! And in this corner, backing the apatosaurus (nee brontosarus), is MC-B! It’s good to be the king. The Tyrant King of the Lizards, that is. T. rex is the epitome of dinosaur. Weighing four to six tons, 40 feet long, 20 feet tall, […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXIV: This Hurts Me…
In this corner, arguing that this will hurt her more than it hurts you, is Felix’s mom! And in this corner, claiming that you don’t understand how much this hurts, is Felix! Felix, I am very, very disappointed in you. It seems like we’ve had this discussion over and over again, and you say you’re […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXIII: Hot and Cold
In this corner, preferring cooler weather, is Steve! And in this corner, preferring hotter weather, is Chloe! Today, Syracuse will swelter. It’s the hottest day of the year. The high will be 95; combined with tropical humidity, this will make it nearly unbearable outside. Last week, I spent 7 days in New Mexico, Satan’s sauna, […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXII: Helmet/Seat Belt Laws
In this corner, supporting mandatory helmet and seat belt laws, is Steve! And in this corner, opposing those laws, is Josh! The case for mandatory helmet and seatbelt laws is simple — they save lives and money, with minimal invasion of individual privacy. My distinguished opponent wears his seatbelt every time he gets in a […]
- Clash of the Titans XXXI: Gun Control
In this corner, opposing gun control, is MC-B! And in this corner, supporting gun control, is David! Hopefully, with every Clash I submit, it becomes increasingly obvious that I’m a staunch moderate on most issues. Gun control is no exception. First of all, many who oppose gun control would cite the “liberty” argument: our Constitution […]
- Clash of the Titans XXX: Barry Bonds
In this corner, supporting the election of Barry Bonds, is Josh! And in this corner, opposing electing Barry Bonds to the Hall, is Djere! Barry Bonds is the greatest baseball player of his generation, the best player I’ve ever seen and may ever see. To say he’s a Hall of Fame talent gives too much […]
- Clash of the Titans XXIX: MySpace
In this corner, arguing against MySpace, is Steve! And in this corner, supporting MySpace, is LaKendra! I was mildly coerced into getting a personal MySpace page and I regret the decision to this day. It’s not that I think I’m too good for personal networking websites; I love the Facebook and I was using sites […]
- Clash of the Titans XXVIII: Boys v. Girls
In this corner, arguing for girls, is Tom! And in this corner, supporting boys, is Chloe! Discussing the superiority of one gender is like cleaning your bathroom floor with a cup of store brand bleach and a drinking straw. It’s dangerous, you leave with a bad taste in your mouth, and it takes a long […]
- Clash of the Titans XXVII: Marijuana Legalization
In this corner, supporting the legalization of pot, is Mike! And in this corner, opposing marijuana legalization, is MC-B! Those of you who know me as being perhaps on the theologically liberal end of the spectrum of Bweinh!tributors may be surprised to find out that I am essentially politically conservative. This is something that has […]
- Clash of the Titans IV: Diet Coke v. Diet Pepsi
From Bweinh.com on March 13th, here’s an intrafamily battle for diet soda supremacy! In this corner, arguing for Diet Pepsi, we have Job! And in this corner, arguing for Diet Coke, is Josh T! Diet Coke kilt my Pa. Don’t try and tell me he didn’t, eder, cuz I seen it wid my own eyes, […]
- Clash of the Titans XXVI: Women in Ministry
In this corner, arguing for different ministry roles for men and women, is David! And in this corner, supporting the ordination and public ministry of women, is Steve! “I don’t hate women. . . my mother was a woman!” — Mike Tyson It would be wrong to suppose, just because I am on the opposing […]
- Clash of the Titans XXV: Superman v. Spiderman
In this corner, arguing for Superman, is Job Djere! And in this corner, supporting Spiderman, is Josh! Honestly, let’s think this one through. A man who wears tight spandex, shoots webs, and has a “spidey sense” that “tingles” is no match for a man who wears tight spandex, shoots laser beams from his eyes, can […]
- Clash of the Titans XXIV: Wal*Mart
In this corner, arguing for Wal*Mart, is MC-B! And in this corner, arguing against Wal*Mart, is Chloe! I’m not a huge fan of Wal*Mart. When I go there, it’s crowded, I often can’t find what I’m looking for, and customer service is subpar. Their business practices aren’t beyond reproach either. But for all their failings, […]
- Clash of the Titans XXIII: Wikipedia
In this corner, arguing for Wikipedia, is Mike J! And in this corner, arguing against citing Wikipedia, is Steve! Let’s be honest and first admit that Wikipedia has its shortfalls. The accuracy of many articles is a concern, and it the format also has difficulty when the facts about a person are beyond question, but […]
- Clash of the Titans XXII: Is Hell Eternal?
In this corner, arguing that hell is finite, is Job! And in this corner, arguing that hell is eternal, is Dave! I hail from the Advent Christian denomination, the Millennium Falcon of Protestants — old and small. Two main tenets from our statement of faith create the most distance between us and the Empire. First, […]
- Clash of the Titans XXI: Europe v. the US
In this corner, supporting Europe, is Chloe! And in this corner, arguing for the USA , is Djere! I know what you’re thinking. “Europe? I’m not voting for Europe!” But please put aside your ethnocentrism — voting for Europe does not make you a bad American. In fact, many Americans prefer Europe, not because it’s […]
- Clash of the Titans XX: Public Smoking Bans
In this corner, promoting bans on public smoking, is Josh! And in this corner, calling for no further restrictions, is Tom! I still remember a time when nearly all restaurants went through the charade of designating separate “sections” for smoking, separated from nonsmokers by nothing more than the air the smoke wafted right through. I […]
- Clash of the Titans XIX: Electoral College
In this corner, defending the Electoral College, is Steve! And in this corner, attacking the Electoral College, is MC-B! Like almost everything in the Constitution, the electoral college is brilliant. It is not an outdated relic that keeps power from the people, it is a better way. Its abolition would be tragic. National Perspective Anyone […]
- Clash of the Titans XVIII: Fighting in Hockey
In this corner, arguing against fighting in hockey, is Mike! And in this corner, arguing for fighting in hockey, is Dave! Hey, I have an idea. You know hockey? That sport with the small base of rabid fans? What a sport it is! Such speed, as players fly down the ice; such grace, as the […]
- Clash of the Titans XVII: HPV Vaccine
In this corner, arguing against a standard HPV vaccine, is Job! And in this corner, arguing for a standard HPV vaccine, is Tom! I am very much not a father. I am very much not a female. But I do think it is somewhat possible that I might someday father a female and I can […]
- Clash of the Titans XVI: Ireland v. Scotland
In this corner, for the honor of Ireland, is Josh! And in this corner, for love of Scotland, is Djere! “The trouble with Scotland is that it’s full of Scots.” – Edward Longshanks, Braveheart I don’t have anything against the Scots. Really, I don’t. In fact, I’m part Scottish myself. But when considering their contributions […]
- Clash of the Titans XV: Starbucks
In this corner, attacking Starbucks, is Steve! And in this corner, defending Starbucks, is Chloe! If only they were included in those annual surveys of whom Americans trust, drug dealers might manage to bump car salesmen and lawyers out of the basement of public esteem. Typified in the collective mind as a shady, unshaven man […]
- Clash of the Titans XIV: Metric v. Imperial
In this corner, supporting the metric system, is Tom! And in this corner, supporting the imperial system, is Mike! As a people, Americans have always paid our collective independence more than its share of lip service. We claim to be a land of freedom, say we have thrown off the bonds of tyranny that yoked […]
- Clash of the Titans XIII: Fire As A Survival Tool
In this corner, arguing that fire is overrated, is Job! And in this corner, supporting fire, is Djere! Fire as a survival tool? Yeah, whatever. Fire? You’re dead to me… I understand that when man first left the Garden, fire may have played a very important role in the survival and perpetuation of our species. […]
- Clash of the Titans XII: Bananas v. Plantains
In this corner, arguing on behalf of plantains, is Josh J! And in this corner, supporting the banana, is Chloe! I’d like to start the case for plantains by getting my personal biases out of the way. When I was an infant, and my mother took me to the doctor for a checkup, he told […]
- Clash of the Titans XI: Romeo Must Die?
In this corner, arguing that Romeo must die, is Tybalt! And in this corner, claiming Romeo’s not that bad a guy, is Benvolio! The gentleman Romeo, if he can even be called such, has besmirched my family’s honor for the last time, and for this, he must pay with his life. Romeo must die. Please […]
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