To Know and Be Known

July 11, 2007, 10:00 am; posted by
Filed under Articles, Chloe  | 2 Comments

When I was in London, there was an unspoken rule to avoid eye contact. Looking people in the eye was some kind of invitation, depending on the person, to badger me for money or scream profanities. I learned that when I went into the city, I should look straight ahead and walk with purpose, like I owned London, in order to be free of the grasping hands that would have my soul with one look in the eye. As a result, I saw little of what the people of London looked like. I was autonomous in that huge metropolis, but I didn’t know anyone except for my classmates and the people at my church. It was lonely.

Here, in Nowhere, New Mexico, I’ve had to unlearn that habit of isolation. Here, I chat with everyone I come across — the post office lady, the gas station clerk, the person who lives at the end of the lane. Here, I don’t just drive by other cars — I wave to the people in them, especially if it’s another big truck with a cowboy hat and/or a dog in the flatbed.

Here, I don’t just serve my customers. I ask their names and where they’re from, what they do for a living and how they like the heat. In return, I give them bits of my life — why I’m here when I live in New York, who I’m related to, what I’m studying, and yes, that fine truck outside is mine, for two more months, anyway. Here, eye contact is as unavoidable as skin contact in church.

When I decided to go to Western New Mexico for the summer, I thought I would be lonely, what with only knowing my grandma. Now, after throwing candy in a July 4th parade and hearing at least three people yell, “Oh, there’s Chloe! Hi Chloe!,” and learning the faces of customers who not only remember my name, but also ask how my boyfriend’s studying is coming along, I question why I ever thought I liked the independent blinders I put on in London. This small-town familiarity is growing on me.


Comments

2 Comments to “To Know and Be Known”

  1. Aarong on July 11th, 2007 5:24 pm

    It’s a sharp downside to living in the American northeast (who’s lineage is directly connected to the isolation, yet imperialistic and unhumble past of Britiania) for sure. Having moved from Boston to KY to west Virginia to Ohio, I’ve seen the difference myself. I like it better here for those reasons, hate it for others.

    One question, what was meant by “Here, eye contact is as unavoidable as skin contact in church”?

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