The Council’s Ruling — Most Manlike Animal

April 21, 2008, 12:00 pm; posted by
Filed under Council  | 1 Comment

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — Which animal is most similar to man?

Tom delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Djere, MC-B, Kaitlin and Connie:

The chimpanzee combines a 94% identical genome with the ability to fashion and use tools, a sophisticated social structure and an expansive ability to communicate among its kind and with ours.

 

David dissents, joined by Steve and Erin:

Dogs. They go through life clueless and depending on the kindness of a greater power — but as soon as that power turns his back, they tear up the trash, escape from the yard, and run wild.

 

Erin dissents, joined by David:

Dogs, because we’re both messy, stupid, and love company.

 

Steve dissents, joined by Mike:

Only the cat combines senseless (often violent) behavior with a limitless superiority complex.

 

Chloe dissents, joined by Mike:

Sloths. Slow. Bored. Boring. Stinky. Freaky-odd.

 

Josh dissents:

I was going to say “woman” to be funny, until I remembered that they’re nothing like us, so let’s go with armadillo.

 

Job played no part in the determination of this issue.

 

Next time: At what age should a child be permitted to pursue a romantic relationship?


Comments

1 Comment to “The Council’s Ruling — Most Manlike Animal”

  1. Tom on April 22nd, 2008 6:04 pm

    How fitting I deliver our ruling on most man-like animal after serving as our ruling on most animal-like man.

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