Best of the Polls — The 12 Days of Christmas
Which of the famous gifts in the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ song would we like to receive?
Rank | Gift | Points | ||
1. | 5 golden rings | 35 | ||
2. | 6 geese-a-laying | 19 | ||
3-4 (tie) | 3 French hens; 9 ladies dancing | 16 | ||
5. | 10 lords-a-leaping | 14 | ||
6. | 11 pipers piping | 9 | ||
7. | 8 maids-a-milking | 7 | ||
8. | 4 calling birds | 6 | ||
9. | 12 drummers drumming | 5 | ||
10. | 2 turtle doves | 4 | ||
Other | 7 swans-a-swimming; a partridge in a pear tree | 2 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Cheese
Today’s — perhaps the last — Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by our longsuffering patron, Air Transat. The worst airline in the world, bar none!
One last satisfied customer writes:
“I objected to paying what would be an extra £60 for a service most other airlines can provide without payment. The representative cut me off . . . Frankly, I don’t believe them, but I can’t afford to take the chance . . . It’s little short of blackmail. Air Transat will get that extra £60 but it comes at the cost of my never flying with them again irrespective of the service.”
Air Transat — it’s little short of blackmail!
Here’s the world’s best cheese!
Rank | Cheese | Points | ||
1. | Mozzarella | 28 | ||
2. | Extra Sharp Cheddar | 24 | ||
3. | Provolone | 15 | ||
4. | American | 12 | ||
5. | Red Leicester | 9 | ||
6. | Swiss | 8 | ||
7. | Cream Cheese | 7 | ||
8-11 (tie) | Muenster; Irish Cheddar; Havarti; Cheddar | 5 | ||
Other | Mature English Cheddar; Brie; Bleu; Mild Cheddar; Pepper Jack; Smoked Cheddar; Colby Jack; Sharp Cheddar; Gouda; Cheez Whiz; Colby; Ricotta; Cheez Whiz; Feta; Parmesan; Hunter Jack; Head | 1-4 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Clothes
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by the National Invitation Tournament, America’s longest-running postseason basketball tournament! 71 years of second-best!
The best clothes that exist —
Rank | Clothes | Points | ||
1. | T-Shirts | 17 | ||
2. | Shorts | 16 | ||
3-4 (tie) | Heavy Socks; Pants | 10 | ||
5-6 (tie) | Scarves; Shoes | 9 | ||
7. | Jeans | 8 | ||
8. | Sweaters | 6 | ||
9-10 (tie) | Hats; Hoodies | 5 | ||
Other | Baseball Caps; Sandals; Medieval Festival Costumes; Turtlenecks; Brian St. Laurent Silk Cravat; Underwear; Accessories; Long-Sleeve T; Purple Bra; Skirts; Louis D’Orieo Black Heelguards; Comfy Lounge Pants; Sweatshirts; Suspenders; Birthday Suit; Summer Dresses; Suits; Running Shoes; Gloves | 1 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Rooms of a House
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is made possible by antibiotics! Saving our lives in the 20th century; ending them in the 21st!
Here are the tip-top rooms in a house!
Rank | Room | Points | ||
1. | Living Room | 21 | ||
2. | Kitchen | 19 | ||
3-4 (tie) | Library; Bedroom | 14 | ||
5. | Screened-in porch | 9 | ||
6-7 (tie) | Den; Bathroom | 7 | ||
8. | Sunroom | 5 | ||
9. | Family Room | 3 | ||
10-11 (tie) | Office; Dining Room | 2 | ||
Other | “Anything with a window seat”; Foyer | 1 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Precipitation
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by the GEM operating system — a wonderful graphical interface that you can still install today!
If something has to fall from the sky, here’s what we’d prefer.
Rank | Precipitation | Points | ||
1. | Snow | 23 | ||
2. | Rain | 18 | ||
3. | Hail | 15 | ||
4-5 (tie) | Mist; Sleet | 7 | ||
6. | “Cats and Dogs” | 4 | ||
7-8 (tie) | Drizzle; Freezing Rain | 3 | ||
9-11 (tie) | Wintry Mix; Fog; Hard Rain | 2 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Donuts
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by the letter W and the number 8.
And Desenex.
The most delicious donuts in the world appear below!! Or, at least, their names.
Rank | Donuts | Points | ||
1. | Apple Cider | 19 | ||
2. | Chocolate Glazed | 12 | ||
3. | Boston Creme | 10 | ||
4-5 (tie) | Peanut; Powdered Cinnamon | 8 | ||
6-7 (tie) | Apple Fritter; Krispy Kreme Glazed | 7 | ||
8-12 (tie) | Devil’s Food; Long John w/yellow custard; Vanilla Frosted; Cream; Custard-filled | 5 | ||
Other | Orange Glazed; Blueberry; Cinnamon Roll; Toasted Coconut; Bismarck; Chocolate Sprinkle; Sour Cream Glazed; Chocolate Cake; Maple Walnut; Chocolate and Vanilla; Maple Frosted; Jelly; Powdered Sugar; Glazed; Chocolate Creme; Lemon; Plain Cake | 1-4 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Animals to Eat
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by our hosting company, whose reliability I have never before had cause to question, but who is walking a dangerous line indeed.
Need help choosing an animal to eat? Here’s the list!
Rank | Animals | Points | ||
1. | Cow | 42 | ||
2. | Chicken | 34 | ||
3. | Pig | 28 | ||
4. | Shrimp | 16 | ||
5. | Turkey | 10 | ||
6-7 (tie) | Crab; Emu | 5 | ||
8-9 (tie) | Mussel; Ant | 4 | ||
10-11 (tie) | Codfish; Quail | 3 | ||
Other | Deer; Elk; Scallops; Fish; Duck; Tilapia; Rabbit | 1-2 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Cookies
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by Air Transat: the worst airline in the world!!
Here’s what one customer had to say —
“My husband and I had the most horrific experience of our lives taking Air Transat from Paris back to Toronto. . . [after going to the wrong terminal because of a mistake on the ticket], we were 5 minutes past the boarding cutoff time, which meant the flight didn’t leave until another 40 minutes. We begged them just to push us through as it wasn’t that busy, but they refused. . . [W]e had to pay approximately $500 more to get to Montreal, which was 6 hours away from our destination, and we had to sleep at the airport for 24 hours as we didn’t have any money left for a hotel.”
Air Transat! Your money or your life!!
Here are the best cookies in the world.
Rank | Cookies | Points | ||
1. | Chocolate Chip | 31 | ||
2. | Oreo | 15 | ||
3. | Monster | 13 | ||
4. | White Chocolate Macadamia | 12 | ||
5. | Oatmeal Raisin | 9 | ||
6. | Molasses | 7 | ||
7-10 (tie) | Cheryl & Co.; Raisin Oatmeal Creme; Sugar; Keebler Thin Mints | 5 | ||
Other | Spellbinders; Chloe’s Oatmeal Coconut Chocolate Chip; Keebler Chips Deluxe; Chocolate White Chocolate; Peanut Butter; Butterscotch Chip Pudding; Fig Newtons; Peanut Clusters; Double Chocolate Chip; Hermit Bars; Chocolate Peanut Butter; Chocolate No-Bake; Buckeyes; Snickerdoodles; Vanilla Wafers; Judy’s Christmas Cookies | 1-4 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Pizza Toppings (#2)
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by “love.” “Love” — patient, kind and modest. Try it today!
Time to crown a new king of the pizza!
Rank | Toppings | Points | ||
1. | Sausage | 23 | ||
2. | Pepperoni | 18 | ||
3. | Extra Cheese | 13 | ||
4. | Mushrooms | 9 | ||
5. | Pineapple | 7 | ||
6. | Green Peppers | 5 | ||
7-10 (tie) | Bacon and Bleu Cheese; Bacon; Buffalo Wing Sauce; Buffalo Chicken | 4 | ||
Other | Olives; Ham; Garlic; Anchovies; Red Peppers; Canadian Bacon; Green Chile | 1-3 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — ‘Big Box’ Stores
A day late, today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by the reason for our tardiness: WINC Communications, which is about one more multi-day outage from earning Air Transat status.
Here are our favorite massive stores! Adam Smith be praised!
Rank | Stores | Points | ||
1. | Wal*Mart | 19 | ||
2. | Target | 18 | ||
3. | Barnes & Noble | 16 | ||
4. | Sam’s Club | 14 | ||
5. | Lowe’s | 12 | ||
6-7 (tie) | Borders; Best Buy | 8 | ||
8. | Circuit City | 6 | ||
9-10 (tie) | Old Navy; BJ’s | 5 | ||
Other | Staples; Mike’s Bargain Store; JC Penney; Hobby Lobby; Meiger; Autozone; Home Depot; Ikea; Kohl’s; Aldi | 1-4 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Books of the Bible (#2)
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by Salman Rushdie, Shia Muslim-turned-atheist who receives a life-threatening Valentine each year from our tolerant friends in Iran!
Today we again examine our favorite books of the Bible. Last time we went with I Corinthians, but now we have a new and synoptic champion!
Rank | Books | Points | ||
1. | Luke | 16 | ||
2-3 (tie) | Matthew; Genesis | 14 | ||
4. | Romans | 12 | ||
5-6 (tie) | Psalms; I Corinthians | 9 | ||
7-8 (tie) | Acts; John | 6 | ||
9-12 (tie) | I Samuel; Colossians; Proverbs; Galatians | 5 | ||
Other | Isaiah; Jeremiah; Job; Hebrews; II Kings; Mark; Exodus; Esther; I Timothy; James; Ecclesiastes; Revelation; Colossians | 1-4 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Dangerous Countries
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by the letter D and the number 1.
Here are, apparently, either the most dangerous countries TO the world, or the most dangerous countries TO BE IN the world, depending on the interpretation of the answerer!
Rank | Countries | Points | ||
1. | Iran | 26 | ||
2. | China | 20 | ||
3-4 (tie) | North Korea; Pakistan | 12 | ||
5-7 (tie) | Egypt; Somalia; Kenya | 5 | ||
8-11 (tie) | Congo; Russia; Iraq; East Timor | 4 | ||
Other | Saudi Arabia; Trinidad and Tobago; Vatican City; Mexico; Venezuela; Syria; America; Israel; Canada | 1-3 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Board Games (#2)
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by Nintendo! It’s our second list of board games, and this time there’s a new leader!
Rank | Game | Points | ||
1. | Settlers of Catan | 18 | ||
2. | Scrabble | 16 | ||
3. | Cranium | 15 | ||
4-5 (tie) | Apples to Apples; Monopoly | 12 | ||
6. | Dictionary/Balderdash | 8 | ||
7. | Risk | 6 | ||
8-11 (tie) | Life; Parcheesi; Candy Land; Snakes (or Chutes) & Ladders | 5 | ||
Other | Age of Mythology; Trivial Pursuit; Chess; Wise and Otherwise; Encore; Stratego; Bethump’d; Clue; Aggravation; Oligopoly | 1-4 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Sports (#2)
In today’s Ask Bweinh! poll, we return to the question of favorite sports, sponsored by AAMCO, who reminds you to be safe — trust the Midas touch.
Rank | Sports | Points | ||
1. | Football | 27 | ||
2. | Basketball | 22 | ||
3. | Baseball | 20 | ||
4. | Soccer | 18 | ||
5. | Hockey | 12 | ||
6. | Volleyball | 8 | ||
6-7 (tie) | Racquetball; Jai Alai | 5 | ||
8-10 (tie) | Golf; Tennis; Kayaking | 3 | ||
Other | Bullriding; Badminton; Kites; Pitch; MIFFLE (Midget Indoor Flag Football League); Bowling; Skiing; Dodgeball | 1-2 |
Ask Bweinh! Poll — Restaurants
Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by Air Transat — the worst airline in the world!
Just listen to yet another thrilled guest: “I thought it was easily the worst flight I have ever taken. Service, seats, food — terrible. I would only consider Air Transat as a last resort. . .”
Air Transat: I still loathe you!
Our favorite chain restaurants, of any type —
Rank | Restaurants | Points | ||
1-2 (tie) | In-N-Out Burger; Olive Garden | 10 | ||
3. | Cici’s Pizza | 7 | ||
4-5 (tie) | KFC; Wendy’s | 6 | ||
6-11 (tie) | Pizza Hut; Applebee’s; Subway; Sonic; Longhorns; Ruby Tuesday | 5 | ||
Other | Chili’s; Chic-Fil-A; Texas Steakhouse; Bweinh.com; Claim Jumpers; Little Caesar’s; Bennigan’s; Dunkin Donuts; McDonald’s; Outback Steakhouse; TGI Friday’s; Village Inn; Logan’s Roadhouse; Holy Cats Monday; 99; Taco Bell; Burger King; Cracker Barrel; Wings Over; Denny’s | 1-4 |