New Dan Brown Novel Asserts Jesus was Just Feeding His ‘Network’

December 3, 2007, 10:38 pm; posted by
Filed under Articles, Featured, Humor, Job  | 2 Comments

In a controversial follow-up to the best-selling The Da Vinci Code, author Dan Brown will assert that Jesus Christ was merely “feeding His network” when he reportedly fed 5,000 people at one time in Galilee, circa 30 A.D.

Brown recently appeared on Larry King Live to discuss his new book, Jesus Crisis, and Brown’s main theory that Jesus was a loyal Verizon Wireless customer who would have been a challenge to the network, requiring them to traverse rough terrain and savage deserts. Having to feed His network would’ve logically been a subsequent trial.

Brown pointed to the passage in Matthew 14 where Jesus was said to feed 5,000 with just a few loaves of bread and two fish, then noted that just a chapter later, Jesus fed only 4,000. “Obviously,” Brown told King, “He was in a place with poorer reception.”

The new book also alludes to the “Bill of Turin,” which apparently shows incontrovertibly that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a “family plan.”


Comments

2 Comments to “New Dan Brown Novel Asserts Jesus was Just Feeding His ‘Network’”

  1. David on December 5th, 2007 9:18 am

    Jesus is on that main line, tell him what you want…”

  2. Steve on December 5th, 2007 9:20 am

    Let’s make it a medley! “Life is like a mountain railroad . . . with an engineer that’s brave…”

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