Chick Tract Quiz Answer!

02/19/2008, 12:10 am -- by Steve | 2 Comments

Who gets “The Bull” saved??

If you picked “Jack Chick, of course,” you’re a winner!!

Yes or no, Turkey?!

Holy Sadness

02/18/2008, 4:05 pm -- by Mike | 3 Comments

“There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our lives…even in the most happy moments of our existence, we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is the fear of jealousy . . . In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance . . . in all forms of light, there is surrounding darkness.” ~ Nouwen

I read an article in Newsweek recently called “Happiness: Enough Already.” (Find it here.) Its point was that in modern times, we tend to view sadness as a condition to be corrected by therapy and/or medication. The author argued that while there of course are times when a person’s sadness overtakes them and should be managed by medicine, sometimes people are just sad naturally and it is a normal part of life.

I think Henri Nouwen, the great Catholic devotional writer, would agree. Perhaps he was just melancholy, but I think he’s on to something. Even in our brightest moments of joy, we can feel sad that the joy is fleeting, not here forever. Each embrace makes us realize all of life is not an embrace; each friendship makes us realize that there is a measure of distance between us and others. Essentially, each happiness reminds us that not all of life is happy.

Are these just the musings of a depressed individual? I don’t think so. I think this is someone who has a holy dissatisfaction with life. Each human joy brings with it a reminder that we do not yet know complete joy. All human intimacies, no matter how rare and delightful, remind us that we were created “naked and unashamed,” totally vulnerable with each other, until sin fractured our intimacy and left us alone. Each human joy reminds us that we have not yet arrived at the fullness of joy.

Nouwen’s ever-present sadness marks a man who is simply longing for his home. May such a holy sadness accompany us — not so we can mope around this world, but so that we can live all of life with the awareness that better things await.

The Council’s Ruling — Strangest American Tradition

02/18/2008, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — What is America’s strangest cultural tradition?

Tom delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Mike, Djere, and MC-B:

Line dancing. Invented, chiefly practiced, and (arguably) perfected here, but you have to ask yourself – what’s the point?

Connie dissents, joined by Erin and Job:

Halloween. If people actually knew the customs behind it, they’d probably be amazed, but they dress up their innocent little children and send them out into the dark every year to imitate a pagan ritual that they don’t even understand.

Chloe dissents, joined by Erin:

Therapy — you pay someone to listen to you talk, then teach you how to think entirely for yourself and not for anyone or anything else because the universe really does revolve around you. Did I mention you’re paying for this?

Steve dissents, joined by Josh andDavid:

The idolatry of fame as a goal. It makes sense that a nation with far less work to do would seek entertainment to fill the gap, but so many people are willing to humiliate themselves just to become well-known. Many cultures would consider this a supreme dishonor.

Next time: Which sense is most valuable?

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Cookies

02/18/2008, 10:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by Air Transat: the worst airline in the world!!

Here’s what one customer had to say —

“My husband and I had the most horrific experience of our lives taking Air Transat from Paris back to Toronto. . . [after going to the wrong terminal because of a mistake on the ticket], we were 5 minutes past the boarding cutoff time, which meant the flight didn’t leave until another 40 minutes. We begged them just to push us through as it wasn’t that busy, but they refused. . . [W]e had to pay approximately $500 more to get to Montreal, which was 6 hours away from our destination, and we had to sleep at the airport for 24 hours as we didn’t have any money left for a hotel.”

Air Transat! Your money or your life!!

Here are the best cookies in the world.

Rank	Cookies	Points
1.	Chocolate Chip	31
2.	Oreo	15
3.	Monster	13
4.	White Chocolate Macadamia	12
5.	Oatmeal Raisin	9
6.	Molasses	7
7-10 (tie)	Cheryl & Co.; Raisin Oatmeal Creme; Sugar; Keebler Thin Mints	5
Other	Spellbinders; Chloe’s Oatmeal Coconut Chocolate Chip; Keebler Chips Deluxe; Chocolate White Chocolate; Peanut Butter; Butterscotch Chip Pudding; Fig Newtons; Peanut Clusters; Double Chocolate Chip; Hermit Bars; Chocolate Peanut Butter; Chocolate No-Bake; Buckeyes; Snickerdoodles; Vanilla Wafers; Judy’s Christmas Cookies	1-4

Quote of the Day, 2/18/08

02/18/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“Those seeking to respond to the Spirit’s call for renewal and restoration must be ever so careful that self-seeking, resentment, frustration, and desire for power do not lead them beyond what is truly from the Spirit of God.” — R. Martin

All Hail the Giants

02/15/2008, 3:30 pm -- by Josh J | 3 Comments

Not that New Yorkers need another excuse to litter, but they sure do love a ticker tape parade. And I love the Giants, so as a current New York City resident, there was no way I was missing last week’s first-ever victory parade for them, after the greatest Super Bowl of all time.

That morning when I got to the platform of the Staten Island Railroad, I was excited to see a father and his sons wearing jerseys — a few Staten Islanders heading over for the parade with me, I thought. I was completely unprepared for what happened next. The train pulled up and was wall-to-wall blue.

I crammed my Phil Simms in by the door and rode to the Ferry Terminal, which was also completely packed. The boat arrived and we poured on. The energy was palpable. I looked around and saw Mannings, Strahans, Jacobses, and throwback Bavarros, Taylors, and Carsons. I even saw an entire family in throwbacks, mostly Taylors and Simmses, with the father randomly wearing a Jim Burt. Since most people don’t wear center jerseys, I spoke up.

“Jim Burt. Now that’s an old school fan.”

He smiled and simply said, “Jim Burt.” Looking back now, I actually think he might have been introducing himself. He was the right size and age. I have no idea where Jim Burt lives now and am far too lazy to do research that would ruin a perfectly good story. As a matter of fact, forget I said anything. I met Jim Burt on the ferry.

As the Manhattan skyline came into view, the whole boat broke into chants of “Let’s go, Giants (clap, clap, clap clap clap).” As we docked, the stampede barely waited for the ramps to be put in place before bursting through.

As I emerged into lower Manhattan, I quickly realized today would be unlike any other. Everyone was happy. Everyone loved each other. Everyone was a Giants fan.

Of course, the thing about New Yorkers is that their jubilance sounds a whole lot like everyone else’s hostility. The chants of “Let’s go, Giants,” very quickly gave way to chants of “18 and 1,” and “Boston sucks.” And those are the ones I can print.

As I settled into the best vantage point I could find, waiting for the parade to begin, someone across the street pulled out a football and threw it across. People cheered as the ball went back and forth. Then someone with a weak arm came up short; the ball landed between the barricades.

And we booed him mercilessly.

Finally, the parade began, and everyone pressed forward to see, cheering our passing heroes. Between floats of players there were open-top buses of team employees and players’ families, leaving plenty of time for chants of “Who are you?,” or “Call me,” when a bus full of attractive women went by.

My favorite moment came when a random guy rode by, holding up a sign that said “Let’s go Defence!” He tried to get the crowd to start chanting it with him, which almost worked, until it was overpowered by chants of “You can’t spell,” as he hurriedly hid the sign away.

In my section we talked with joy and reverence about this team and that game, while of course still finding time to bash Tiki Barber. I told my friends that I went to the parade alone, but that wasn’t true. I went with a million of my brothers and sisters, and I have never been happier to be in New York.

Clash of The Titans XIII: Fire

02/15/2008, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Originally printed on April 13, 2007.

In this corner, arguing that fire is overrated, is Job!

And in this corner, supporting fire, is Djere!

Fire as a survival tool? Yeah, whatever. Fire? You’re dead to me…

I understand that when man first left the Garden, fire may have played a very important role in the survival and perpetuation of our species. Whether it was used for cooking bacteria out of meat or as an agent of warmth, I’m sure fire proved priceless to our ancestors.

But I believe we need to ask ourselves, “Fire, what have you done for me lately?”

If my little single-engine plane crashed in Alaska, leaving my bush pilot dead and me miraculously alive, you best believe I ain’t wastin’ none of my precious time or energy runnin’ around like JoJo the Idiot Circus Clown, trying to make fire. What’s it gonna do, really? Warm my extremities? Cook the snow rabbit I’ll never catch? I’m sure that’s how most search and rescue people find their targets — hunched over some feeble kindling and moss, the face of their watch frozen in their hand, telling the tale of their futile and desperate efforts to refract sunshine into flame.

Me? They’ll find me back at base camp, ripping through some MREs, reading the newspaper, and telling them where I left the bush pilot. Wanna know why? I didn’t stay put and waste my time on combustion; I sucked it up and com-busted my way right outta there!

Okay, I can hear you now. “Job, you’re an idiot!” “Job, you’re gonna die.” “No, Job, seriously, you’re an idiot.” But perhaps I’m just forward-thinking. For centuries people thought Earth was flat, and as a result, tethered themselves to familiar ports, afraid to sail off the edge of the world. Similarly, for centuries, people in survival situations have trusted Fire to save their sorry selves, and they’ve stayed tethered to their locations, rubbing sticks together and acting like they actually know what flint is, SOSing themselves crazy.

But me? I’m a latter-day Columbus, willing to thumb my nose at accepted science and Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria-ing myself to new frontiers.

Fire might be a luxury, but when it comes to survival, it is SO overrated.

Of all the survival tips, tools, and tricks, fire is the American Express: don’t leave home without it.

Any storied mercenary, mountaineer, or adventurer such as myself will tell you that when it comes to surviving the chilling cold winter winds of Siberia, the torrential monsoons of Southeast Asia, or a hostile desert crawling with wildlife, without fire, you will die.

You. Will. Die.

The benefits of fire are obvious and threefold.

First, heat. When the sun goes down, Earth loses its heat source. When the planet loses its heat source, so do you. And a survival situation is more than just the discomfort you face while jogging six blocks down the street to Starbucks to get warm, Job. When base camp is hundreds of miles away, when there are no straight lines to gauge direction and distance, when you’re injured and you can’t just follow your nose back to your Froot Loops, what will you do? When hypothermia sets in, there’s only one way to stave off the cold that permeates, debilitates, and suffocates. Fire will save your life.

Second, protection. Most of the predators that will attack a human in the wild are both nocturnal and opportunistic. Wolves, jackals, jihadists, dingos, and ROUSes all attack under the cover of darkness. Light from a fire will reveal your enemy and, in a pinch, make for an effective weapon. Use of tools separates the higher primates from the lower primates; use of fire separates us from the higher primates. Every other creature is instinctively afraid of the very tool some would so callously cast aside — fire will save your life.

Third, morale. The greatest obstacle to survival is not nature, predators, or enemy combatants. It’s human nature. Fear and hopelessness will debilitate you more effectively than any RPG: from the inside out. If your survival depends on others, keeping morale high will increase your chances immensely. In the cold and dark, fear creeps in, and though light and heat may seem like creature comforts, they’ll keep you sane. Fire will save your life.

As a luxury item, fire is overrated. But as a survival tool, it’s next to none.

Fire will save your life.

{democracy:22}

Joke of the Day, 2/15/08

02/15/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

A man walked into a psychiatrist’s office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me, Doc?”

The psychiatrist said, “You’re not eating properly!”

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Pizza Toppings (#2)

02/14/2008, 10:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by “love.” “Love” — patient, kind and modest. Try it today!

Time to crown a new king of the pizza!

Rank	Toppings	Points
1.	Sausage	23
2.	Pepperoni	18
3.	Extra Cheese	13
4.	Mushrooms	9
5.	Pineapple	7
6.	Green Peppers	5
7-10 (tie)	Bacon and Bleu Cheese; Bacon; Buffalo Wing Sauce; Buffalo Chicken	4
Other	Olives; Ham; Garlic; Anchovies; Red Peppers; Canadian Bacon; Green Chile	1-3

Best of Bweinh! — In Praise of Ethnocentrism

02/14/2008, 10:00 am -- by Steve | No Comments

Originally printed in September 2007.

I’ve been thinking lately — all these people who tell me that diversity is the world’s greatest value, that all cultures are equally worthy of honor, that the West is ruining everything? Those folks are on to something.

I’ve always known and believed that all people are equally worthy of respect and life. But it’s only recently that I figured out that (1) we can’t judge between cultures, but (2) if we could, our culture is totally the worst!

Think about America. Is it really the land of the free, home of the brave, with democracy, liberty, apple pie and all that? I used to think so! Then I found out some Americans don’t have enough to eat, others are being oppressed, and some don’t even have jobs. Soon the whole ball of lies came unraveled.

Can a ball come unraveled? I guess a ball of lies could, if lies are like strings or rubber bands or something.

Anyway — America, freedom? Nonsense! If we were free, couldn’t everybody come to our nation, like the Statue of Liberty promises? And wouldn’t everything BE free? Obviously our central value is hypocrisy! How can speech be free here if everyone can just disagree with you in public?

I guess my real point isn’t that America’s bad — although it is. . . really bad . . . like, awful — what I’m telling you is that we can’t SAY any other cultures are bad, because that would be rude and mean and judgmental and petty.

We’re all the same, you see? It’s great to be the same! You’d know that if you understood diversity! All cultures are equally wonderful!

Kumbaya!

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not moving to Burkina Faso anytime soon. I take my cues from the experts, and they’ve taught me that understanding and solidarity have limits. It’s fine and dandy to express my beliefs right here, from the comfort of home — or better yet, my local coffee shop, with free wireless and expensive mochaccinos. See, the oppressed know that I’m with them, because I sign strongly worded petitions and wear hemp.

Don’t hassle me, pigs, I wear it, I don’t smoke it!

Where was I? Or rather, where wasn’t I? That’s Palestine or Tibet or Iran — basically anywhere trendy to talk about that doesn’t demand personal knowledge of the situation. That goes double if The Man thinks the country is dangerous or whatever. I mean, how ethnocentric is that, right? So a leader calls us the “Great Satan” or talks about wiping Israel completely off the map, right? Is it my place to judge? No! It’s my place to try to understand where he comes from! Culturally! And then he’ll do the same, I’m sure!

I’m sure China would be very understanding.

Wait, wait, I know what you’re thinking! You’re saying, Steve, don’t some people do bad things in their cultures? Don’t some subjugate, rape and oppress women as a matter of religious dogma? Don’t some of them actively seek our forced conversion to their beliefs at the price of our lives? Don’t some bind feet, mutilate genitalia, and marry pre-pubescent girls to the local equivalent of Phil Spector? Don’t they even torture political prisoners, kill babies as a national policy, and commit genocide against their own people?

Chill out, man, try the hemp! First of all, you’re forgetting that some Americans are homeless and that George Bush doesn’t care about black people. They stone homosexuals — we don’t let them marry each other. Same thing, dude!

And you’re thinking all Western again anyway! “Bad,” “good,” “right,” “wrong,” what does it all mean anyway? Why choose? We sort of do all that stuff too, or almost the same, like putting people in Guantanamo with just 1 copy of their holy book, limited access to exercise, and only 3 meals a day!

We’re talking cultures here, the way people live their lives! Who are we to judge???

I mean, we can’t look at cultures based on what they produce, or how they’ve improved the world, right? The United States has a GDP of $13.13 trillion (a measure of production), which is 28% of the whole world’s total (source: IMF). You might think, wow, America’s awesome. But wait! We also use a LOT of energy, like, way more than our fair share! 21.5 percent, according to international statistics!! Gotcha, USA!

Plus, some of that GDP is from McDonald’s, so it doesn’t count, okay? Fascists.

Could we possibly fairly judge a culture by the values it espouses? I already told you that we in the West are hypocrites — doesn’t honesty count? I’ll take a madman who’s clear about ruling me based on his interpretation of ancient scripture, including child abuse and chopping off hands, over a guy like our President, whom I just know wants us all under Methodist rule, with mandatory potlucks and baptisms and stuff.

My eyes have been opened and there’s no turning back. Rather than judging cultures based on objective criteria like their accomplishments, respect for life, or peaceful tolerance of dissent, I look at the world through innocent, unbiased eyes. People are basically good, right? So that means we can’t go wrong. I mean, if it was right to judge cultures — if there was an inherently superior way of living, of doing things, of treating people — well, that would mean that someone was wrong.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there are a lot of people like me.

People who would rather die than point out what’s wrong.

Quote of the Day, 2/14/08

02/14/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“Men will always be what it pleases women for them to be; therefore, if you want men to be great and virtuous, teach women the meaning of greatness of soul and virtue.” — J-J. Rousseau

Another Chick Tract Quiz

02/14/2008, 12:07 am -- by Steve | 2 Comments

{democracy:214}

Battle of the Bands XLV

02/13/2008, 12:15 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Here are the next batch of band names from Luke (Marketplace Children moves on!)

{democracy:213}

Bible Discussion — Luke 8

02/13/2008, 12:00 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter of Luke, Luke 8.

Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

INTRODUCTION:
David:
Jesus teaches a wonderful parable about the types of soil we offer God to work with in our life, heals a demoniac and a woman plagued with a life-long infirmity, and then raises the dead again.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Erin:
The people of the Gerasenes were overcome with fear, and that’s why they asked Jesus to leave them. Even after he’d performed a miracle, the people’s fear was what drove Jesus away.

Josh:
One of the women who supported Jesus was the wife of Herod’s steward.

Steve:
Jesus kept the true meaning of the parable of the soils from the crowd, then urged His disciples not to light a lamp and hide it under a jar or a bed. I don’t think this is contradictory, though; Jesus simply knew the same secret that TV producers, secret societies and women use to their benefit: a little mystery is attractive.

Soon what was concealed would be brought into the open, but making the people work a little, to use their minds to discover the Truth, had numerous benefits to the Kingdom and its future followers. Our Lord isn’t into brainwashing.

Connie:
On His way to visit Jairus’ daughter, Jesus has the encounter with the woman with the issue of blood. I couldn’t help but wonder, if she hadn’t come forward and identified herself, would He have taken back the healing? Otherwise, why was He asking? He goes on to say the answer — her answer — was the reason for the healing. But was it the answer, the mere stated words, or the declared faith in those words?

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Hidden Light
Chloe: Broken Chains
David: Came Down A Storm
Connie: Gadarenes
Steve: Drowning Pigs; Abyss

Continued here!