Quote of the Day, 5/22/07

05/22/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“No one is so thoroughly superstitious as the godless man.” — H.B. Stowe

Miracle of Life Gone Awry

05/21/2007, 7:43 pm -- by | 2 Comments

Lawn and woodland creatures all over Maxon Corners are expressing shock and dismay over the disappearance of Mother Robin and the death of her four young chicks. The chicks were just 8 days old.

“I swooped over the deck early this morning, you know, just to forage by the rose bushes,” said Jason A. Finch, 2. “It seemed too quiet. So I checked the Robin nest… and they were all dead.”

Woodland police say they suspect foul play, but they have no solid leads.

When questioned by this reporter, the orange stray tabby living in the cellar denied killing Mother Robin.

“Don’t you think that if — and that’s a really big if — I killed Mother Robin, I would have eaten her four helpless, tender, juicy, delicious chicks? But instead, there they are, just lying in the nest, going to waste. That’s not my style,” he said.

Police have also questioned the Red-tailed Hawk, but he could not be reached for comment as of publication.

Funeral arrangements will be provided by Maxon Landscaping, and burial will be in the garden.

The Council’s Ruling — Best Time of Day

05/21/2007, 12:00 pm -- by | No Comments

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — What is the best time of the day?

Djere delivers the ruling of the council, joined by Chloe, Steve, and David:

The best time of day is late summer afternoon into evening. The air is crisp and clear, and the leaves still rustle in the breeze.  The orange hues of the sunset cast deep shadows across the lawn, but shed enough light to play or run or walk or relax by.

 

Josh also concurs in the judgment, joined by Tom:

The best time of day is early evening, after the heat and toil of the day but while daylight still lingers.

 

Job also concurs in the judgment:

The best time of the day is the late afternoon; it’s warm, but not too warm, and there’s still time to have fun.

 

MC-B dissents:

The best time of the day is 2 in the afternoon; the day is still young, but you can get lots of work done by then.

 

Mike played no part in the determination of this issue.

Next week: the best invention of all time!

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Months of the Year

05/21/2007, 9:45 am -- by | 2 Comments

This week’s polls could be sponsored by YOU! For as little as a $1000 donation, your corporation, family or 501(c)(3) non-profit organization could have your name and tagline here for the world to see, plus a free tote bag! Call now!

Our favorite months of the year…

Rank Month Points
1. May 26
2. December 23
3. July 17
4. September 14
5. June 13
6. August 11
7. April 9
8. October 8
9-10 (tie) November, January 5
Other February, March 1-3

Joke of the Day, 5/21/07

05/21/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

A woman was leaving a convenience store one afternoon when she noticed an odd funeral procession. There was a hearse, followed by another about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman, dressed in black, walking a German shepherd on a leash. And behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women, walking single-file.

The first woman respectfully approached the one walking the dog and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss, and I don’t mean to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. What happened?”

“My husband died,” the woman in black replied.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!!”

“Yes,” she said, “my dog attacked and killed him.”

“Oh…well, who is in the second hearse?”

The woman answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her.”

“Ah.” The first woman turned to walk away, but then thought for a second. “Do you think… that maybe I could… possibly borrow the dog?”

The woman in black smiled wryly and pointed. “Get in line.”

Bweinh! Goes to Boot Camp

05/19/2007, 7:30 pm -- by | 6 Comments

NavyFor the months of June and July, Bweinh.com will be running a live 9-part series on life in Navy Boot Camp. These essays will be written from the US Navy’s Recruit Training Command as training progresses, and will focus on the practical and trivial aspects, while also highlighting the trials and joys of being salt and light — a Christian serving in our nation’s military.

So be sure to tune in and enjoy my struggles with me!

Bweinh! Soundtrack — Aaron Sprinkle

05/19/2007, 12:00 pm -- by | No Comments

Every weekend, a different Bweinh!tributor will discuss a song or songwriter that inspires or interests them. Read the first seven soundtrack entries here.

I still remember the day during my freshman year that one of my roommates, Erin, burst into the room giggling with a CD in her hand. “Look, look at this guy’s name!” Robin (my other roommate) and I examined the CD. It was Lackluster by Aaron Sprinkle, and it had a big brown fish on its powder blue cover.

“Sprinkle?” I said. “That’s unfortunate. You would think he would change his name to sell more records.”

Erin giggled some more and nodded. “It was only five dollars at the Campus Store, so I had to get it.” She put the CD in, placing it in the annals of roomie history and forever cementing in our hearts a love for Aaron Sprinkle. This man with a ridiculous name was good. He reminded me of Elliott Smith, minus the emo lyrics and eventual suicide. Sprinkle is happy, and even “Colorblind” (a song to an ex-girlfriend who left him, took everything and ruined his reputation) features a friendly harmonica and an upbeat tempo.

My roommates and I fell in love with him. On the first night of snow, which both Robin and Erin considered my first real snow, Erin turned on “Sweeter than Me,” a soft, meandering song about an elderly woman losing her mind. It was a perfect first snow, staring out the window with two dear friends and listening to “You’re much sweeter than me by far:” Perhaps what was even better about Aaron Sprinkle was that he was the only artist we were aware of who would sing a song about someone suffering with Alzheimer’s.

We later learned that Sprinkle, currently employed with Tooth and Nail Records as a record producer, not only sang and played guitar for his album, but also did much of the bass, keyboards, programming, percussion, mixing and production.

Talented doesn’t quite seem to capture him.

My Best Teacher

05/18/2007, 3:00 pm -- by | No Comments

It seems a bit strange to think of him as my best teacher. There were certainly times when his style left me cringing. But in a way, coming through our clashes in style with my affection for his teaching still intact, is what confirms for me that he was my best.

He taught me freshman high school geometry, and he was certainly brilliant, and a bit eccentric. We walked in the first day to be greeted by a video camera. We each took our place, one at a time, front and center, said our first and last names, and he called out a row and seat from his memorized seating chart.

When my turn came, I dutifully called out, “Joshua Jones.”

“Joshua Douglas Jones?”

“Yeah.” I was puzzled. How many Josh Joneses were in this class anyway?

It turned out he just really liked my middle name, and rarely referred to me by any moniker that didn’t include some version of it. Joshua Douglas, Mr. Douglas, even J.D. Jones. It’s the kind of thing that in high school will simultaneously embarrass you and endear someone to you.

More importantly, he was a man with a passion for teaching that came through in everything he did. He was the teacher who used any object lesson or memory device, no matter how goofy. He would stretch you by making you figure things out rather than just telling you all the answers. He gave plenty of extra credit, for everything from solving the toughest problem first to memorizing pi to 100 places — even for bringing in comic strips referring to geometric properties. One time he brought in a box of donuts and gave them out, one by one, to the students who correctly solved that day’s class problems quickest. As someone who possesses both a quickness in problem solving and a strong love of donuts, this was my ideal form of education.

There was only one real problem — the man believed very strongly in homework, at least an hour’s worth per night. I, on the other hand, would eventually be labeled by him as “philosophically opposed” to it. That may have given my ninth grade ideology a bit too much credit, but the fact remained: I didn’t do most of the assignments. This would have posed a problem, except I was absolutely killing all his tests and quizzes, including those of the pop variety that occurred at least a couple times per week. I wasn’t unprepared for class, or failing to learn — I just prepared and learned in my own quicker, more efficient manner.

And so, eventually, as an educator, this posed a problem for him.

For a while he tried to break me, assigning quiz values to random homework assignments. I figured out a way to anticipate the most likely culprits, ensuring those were done. Then he tried to get me to come in after school before my bus arrived to do the assignments before going home. I found reasons to be unavailable. The only thing I truly feared was public humiliation in front of my classmates, but he was too good a man to apply anything more than the gentlest of pressures in the class setting, despite my unlucky seat directly beneath his lecturing perch.

As the year progressed and I continued to outperform most of my fellow students in class while ignoring most of his assignments out of class, he began to soften. Finally, one day another teacher came in and he asked her in front of the class, “Is there a point to forcing a student to do homework assignments if they can learn the material without it? What is the purpose of homework?”

I don’t remember her answer. I don’t think he even really wanted one. I knew he was talking to me.

I got through the year, grades intact. The next year his homework policy was changed to allow students to turn in their assignments with items omitted if the students deemed them redundant or unnecessary.

If I’ve had one problem with institutional education, it’s been that too many people, students and teachers alike, forget that the point of the whole exercise is learning. He didn’t. He let me learn to my full ability.

I never really thanked him.

Clash of the Titans XXIII: Wikipedia

05/18/2007, 11:30 am -- by | 9 Comments

In this corner, arguing for Wikipedia, is Mike J!

 And in this corner, arguing against citing Wikipedia, is Steve!

Let’s be honest and first admit that Wikipedia has its shortfalls. The accuracy of many articles is a concern, and it the format also has difficulty when the facts about a person are beyond question, but open to several different interpretations. My dissertation will be on revival evangelist Charles G. Finney.

His Wikipedia entry has a tag warning that the information provided may not be neutral. Why? The biographical facts of Finney’s life are unquestioned, and much of his writings survive. But Finney is a controversial character because people are not sure how to interpret his legacy. Was he a Calvinist? Was he not? Did he save American Christianity or kill it? Were his methods of evangelism a consistent mechanism for the Holy Spirit’s act or a clever substitute for the Spirit? Everyone who thinks about Finney has a stake in the answers to those questions and so his Wikipedia entry can be a battleground.

Yet let’s also be honest and confess that complete and total accuracy and neutrality is not the role that Wikipedia plays in our culture. It may well be true that Wikipedia is not completely accurate or neutral; it also is no doubt true that I don’t have four wheels and a horn. That’s because I’m not a car, nor should I apologize for not being one.

In the same way, Wikipedia is not a completely accurate or neutral source for information, nor should it apologize for not being one. The site itself even says so: on its “about” page, we are warned that especially newer articles may contain “significant misinformation, unencyclopedic content, or vandalism.”

No, you can’t cite Wikipedia authoritatively. But you can learn from it. When I needed a jumpstart for another paper on Finney, Wikipedia led me to a site with all of Finney’s works. The links also led me to a bit of interesting debate from varying perspectives on Finney, as well as the website of the church he founded. While I couldn’t cite anything directly from the site, I found it helpful in getting off the ground.

Wikipedia is also able to cover more arcane and interesting topics than a normal encyclopedia. Hitting the “random article” button five times gave me articles on HSY (a Korean fashion label), Tagin (an Indian people-group), ’70s Rock Must Die (a 2000 album by a group called “Lard”), Carson High School, and Kirkland House (one of the undergrad houses at Harvard). Who else would cover all of these things at all, even if their coverage wasn’t completely bias-free (as if any coverage ever is)?

You also can enjoy Wikipedia. Some people decry the vandalism and turf wars that go on — I sort of like it. It’s a case study in people being people — sort of like Survivor on the internet. If people want to waste their lives arguing on Wikipedia, isn’t it at least nice that we can be amused by their foolishness?

So instead of being disappointed that Wikipedia refuses to be respectable, let’s enjoy its strengths: it has potential to provide new information on esoteric topics and provide geek drama at the same time.

What’s not to like?

There’s a lot to like about Wikipedia, conceptually. There are millions of frequently enlightening articles, especially those on uncontroversial matters, ephemeral lists, and complex topics. Most of their guidelines and principles are wise and thoughtful, and no one denies it’s an educational and entertaining way to spend an hour.

But other than this article, I will never cite to it here.

Wikipedia often reminds me of feudal Europe in the Middle Ages — rule by the whims of the few. You know the party line — anyone can edit anything — but in truth, the site is like any other bloated bureaucracy, full of ardent protectors of power and self-interest.

If an article has a wise, benevolent ruler, or a good group of editors, it may be neutral and well-sourced. But in the frequent event there’s a turf war among users who each want it their way, it becomes part-faculty meeting, part- soap opera, a storm of endless bloviation about complex acronyms and ‘sockpuppets.’ Kissinger once said, “University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.” I think he used that example only because he wasn’t yet able to watch “Netscott” and “Radiant!” argue for days about whether discussions or surveys were better to “build consensus” on Islam and Slavery.

More than just the culture irks me. When researching our Council question about drugs, I read the Wikipedia article about the War on Drugs. It had a questionable claim that marijuana was America’s largest cash crop, and cited an article in a British newsletter, which in turn cited a report from something called the Bulletin of Cannabis Reform. Apparently, as long as information is cited, it can come from the most biased sources. In fact, most of that article reads like the platform of the Marijuana Reform Party, but good luck getting its defenders to let you change that. People, even those who should know better, frequently defend their work like it was their child, especially about politics.

Remember Richard Gere publicly kissing that actress in India? I looked her up, and the second result was , which called her an “AIDS sufferer.” That didn’t seem right, so I looked further — turned out she only PLAYED an AIDS sufferer in a movie; she was actually an AIDS activist. And “activist” was on Wikipedia for weeks, until someone changed it slyly. And there it stood, proud and unchallenged, for over a week, until I came along.

This is why I can’t and won’t cite Wikipedia — you can’t trust it. And you can’t count on anything to still be there in two minutes, let alone two weeks. For instance, “DanEdmonds” decided it was inappropriate to include “AIDS activist” in the article, so he removed it.

I went to the Wikipedia ‘drugs’ article as I wrote this, and its first sentence read: “Drugs are good for you.” I changed it back immediately; the sentence had only been up an hour. But in the past 24 hours, there have been 19 similar attacks by vandals — it’s almost all that’s done to change the page. What a waste of time!

You know quite well how many morons and troublemakers there are in the world. If you still want to trust a vast random sampling of humanity to be authoritative about any subject, be my guest. I’ll stick to using it to find Sir Mix-A-Lot trivia. Did you know politics are “important” to him?

{democracy:38}

Quote of the Day, 5/18/07

05/18/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.” — F. Allen or E. Kovacs

Immigration and Justice

05/17/2007, 4:19 pm -- by | No Comments

I have always been focused on justice. I was quite concerned in my youth that fairness was not being upheld, to the point of complaining vocally if a younger sibling was allowed to bend the rules in softball to get on base safely. It wasn’t really about who won — at least not once I got past age 10 or so — it was about what was right and just. Or more correctly, what I thought was right, frequently not quite the same thing.

And this brings us to the President’s remarks today (emphasis mine):

The bipartisan solution the senators agreed to today requires us to meet important goals in addressing border security and enhancing interior and worksite enforcement. Once those goals are met, the plan would create a temporary worker program to address the needs of our growing economy and take pressure off the border by allowing workers to come to this country for a short period of time and fill jobs Americans are not doing.

This sort of blatant, unjust lie infuriates me! Jobs Americans are not doing? What on earth is the President talking about? I’ve watched Dirty Jobs enough to know that Americans are perfectly willing to do almost anything for a living — we collect bat guano, clean septic tanks, turn roadkill into sculpture, and crawl into the bowels of coal mines. I would much rather clean buildings, cook dinner, watch children, and pick grapes than do any of those four things. So what’s really going on here?

Now I know people who support amnesty for illegal immigrants, and they usually have a strong sense of justice as well. They will tell me it’s not fair for this tremendously rich nation to benefit from the hard work of these generally good and decent people, while denying them an opportunity to truly become part of our society.

Well guess what? I couldn’t possibly agree more. I think it’s terrible that the United States has effectively shifted the burden of some of its most menial and physical (but frequently necessary) jobs to a group that isn’t represented in our government and isn’t as well-protected by our laws.

But pay close attention to this point — THIS ONLY MAKES IT WORSE!

Repeating the lie that there are jobs “Americans won’t do,” and using it to create an amnesty program, doesn’t benefit the illegal immigrants currently doing those jobs — it only helps the large corporations, well-off ranchers, and rich couples who are all too willing to pay these people a wage made artificially low by unfair competition!

If there is really a job that “Americans won’t do,” there’s an easy solution: OFFER MORE MONEY TO DO THAT JOB. You better believe the guano collectors of the world are making more than $10 an hour. Let’s stop thinking about these as jobs that need to be filled by illegal immigrants who are willing to accept the offered pittance, and start treating the problem from the side of the business. Whether that means increased mechanization or increased pay, we should provide something beyond the thinly veiled condescension of amnesty and the promise of continued slavery at a dead-end job!

That is unjust.

We have people — intelligent, well-educated scientists and doctors — who would love to come to this country to live and work, from countries like India. But instead of changing our immigration policy to bring in more of those high achievers, who would compete for white-collar jobs and force our educational system to improve, we’ve decided to give our official blessing to workers who provide a far lower benefit to society, compete with native low-skilled workers with few other options, and exhibit disregard for the laws and sovereignty of our nation.

Maybe I’ve been wrong before, but I’m pretty sure that’s not fair.

The Mixed Multitude

05/17/2007, 1:00 pm -- by | No Comments

Exodus 12:38 — “And a mixed multitude went up also with them…”
Numbers 11:4 — “And the mixed multitude that was among them fell a lusting…”

When God called his people out of Egypt they were accompanied by a “mixed multitude.” But who were they? Why would they throw their lot in with a band of slaves who had been living under the oppression of the Pharaohs? Why, if they were so enamored with the foods and other comforts of Egypt, would they accompany the Hebrews out into the desert to worship a God they did not know? And how was it that they come to be such a catalyst for discontent? They were the opportunists, the hangers-on, those who wait to see which way the wind will blow, then choose to side with the group winning at that moment. And they will always plague God’s people during times of ease by fomenting rebellion.

During the days of the Exodus the land had been destroyed by plagues. Crops were gone, cattle decimated, and the manhood of Egypt lay dead in cradle and field. A mammoth battle had raged and God had showed himself mighty by delivering his people, leaving a ruined empire behind. For this mixed multitude the only choice was to throw in their lot with the “scum of the earth,” former slaves they would not have shared a meal with before.

And so we see the same thing in 4th-century Rome. Christianity has raged like a wildfire across the landscape. Its early adherents lived as slaves, owning no property, with no rights under the law — yet it conquered. They fed the lions in the Colosseum and served as human torches for the garden parties of the Emperor. Once again God shows his might, but before long, the mixed multitude slunk back to take the coattails of the Christian church and ride out the shift in fortunes. Constantine began to show favoritism to Christians and suddenly it was advantageous to follow Jesus. John Lord’s Beacon Lights of History quotes one pagan general as saying, “If the Emperor would make me Bishop of Rome, I too would become a Christian.” With this the prevalent attitude, the church was soon filled with scoundrels and fortune seekers.

Constantine also issued decrees exempting the clergy from taxes and military service. What a wonderful profession the ministry had now become — no taxes, and other saps must fight the Goths and Vandals. The mixed multitude was among us again, lusting after the flesh, fomenting rebellion and discontent. And how similar! Rome was soon a shell of its former power, sacked by barbarians thrice the next century, abandoned even by the Emperor.

The mixed multitude was then absorbed, changing the church completely, until finally Leo the Great ascended to the bishopric of Rome in the 5th century, filling the void of power by forging the Catholic Church from this half pagan-half Christian multitude. It became a world power modeled after — sitting on the foundation of — the fallen empire.

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Pizza Toppings

05/17/2007, 9:45 am -- by | No Comments

It’s the semi-weekly Ask Bweinh! poll! A special thanks goes out to our longtime sponsor, the U.S. Navy. The Navy: 14 times as many airplanes as boats!

What will Bweinh! take on our pizza?

Rank Topping Points
1. Pepperoni 26
2. Sausage 23
3. Extra Cheese 18
4. Peppers 15
5. Mushrooms 13
6. Ham 10
7-8 (tie) Pineapple, Anchovies 6
9. “My teeth” 5
10-11 (tie) Bacon, Olives 3
Other Green Chile, Onions, Paprika 2

Joke of the Day, 5/17/07

05/17/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

Two hunters were out in the woods when one of them fell to the ground. He didn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes rolled back in his head, so the other guy whipped out his cell phone and called 911.

“My friend is dead!,” he gasped. “What can I do?”

The operator replies, “Take it easy, I can help. First, you’d better make sure he’s dead.”

There were a few seconds of silence, then two shots.

“OK, now what?”

Battle of the Bands XI

05/16/2007, 2:00 pm -- by | No Comments

Last week’s winner was Scarlet Thread! Oh, and don’t forget we’re still fighting for the honor of Best Religion Blog! We’re hanging in at a solid 26th or 27th right now with 85 votes. If you were one (or more) of those votes, you have my sincerest thanks!!

Here are the newest proposed band names! The best two will move on this Saturday.

{democracy:37}

« Previous Page — Next Page »