News in Brief, 9/7/07

September 7, 2007, 4:09 pm; posted by
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In Freeze-dried pollenator news, scientists have discovered just how complicated the humble honeybee is – identifying eight species of bacteria, four lineages of fungi, and seven different viruses.

Scientist turning on honeybee grinding machine – “Uh huh, life’s like this…”
Bumblebee Man – “¡Ay, Dios no me ama!”

In psychotic, self-important murderer news, everybody’s favorite terrorist struggling to stay relevant Osama/Usama bin Laden released a new diatribe today. Thank God for the New Testament.

Osama – “All praise is due to Allah… and from His Law is retaliation in kind: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and the killer is killed.”
Jesus – “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”


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