Quote of the Day, 11/26/08

11/26/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” — J.F. Kennedy

Puzzle of the Day, 11/25/08

11/25/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

What is the probability, within 0.5%, that a randomly chosen whole number will contain the digit 4?

Any correct answer received by November 28th at noon, either as a comment or by email to steve@bweinh.com, will have an equal chance to win $4.

Quote of the Day, 11/24/08

11/24/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“It is literally true, as the thankless say, that they have nothing to be thankful for. He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient. But a thankful heart hath a continual feast.” — W.J. Cameron

Best of Bweinh! — Married/Single Clash

11/21/2008, 11:00 am -- by Bweinh | 3 Comments

In this corner, defending the sanctity of marriage, is Tom!

And in this corner, loving the freedom of the single life, is Djere!

Married life is the best kind of life there is. Trading freedom for security has always been the way we roll here in the U.S. of A! So many rough areas of a man’s life can be smoothed out by the delicate touch of a feminine hand.

Decision-making is a prime example. Making decisions is a lot of work. Where to live, what job to take, what to wear? Who has time to figure out the proper choice in all of these important areas? Most single men learn to make decisions quickly, weighing options and coming to decisions so fast that the process seems almost primitive in its simplicity.

The married man can still quickly reach a simple decision, but it is never the end result. Instead, it’s just one stop on the interminable amusement park ride central to any marriage: the discussion. By looping around and around the many possible choices, a man with a skilled spouse eventually comes to see the ignorance of his original choice, and the unparalleled superiority of the course his wife has already selected. Eventually these “discussions” can strip a man of his desire to make an initial choice, streamlining the entire process!

Marriage also lets a man grow beyond the boundaries he places on his social life. Many single men prefer the company of a particular group of friends, spending the majority of social time with them, coming to know them well. Once a man is married, these constraints are taken from him, and he can come to full social fruition. New friends he would not have chosen! New activities he does not enjoy! An entire new family with whom to spend holidays, reunions, excruciatingly boring conversations, and arguments!

And chores! Once a man has a wife, he has a partner with whom to split the domestic tasks central to any household. A single man has no assistance in performing these chores, and no helper to decide when they should be done. It’s true that marriage brings a man a tidier house, but with a spouse helping, the net decrease in work will be offset by the extra discussions that will fill the saved time, in lieu of radio, television, or blessed quiet.

It’s true that some freedom is lost. If I were married, I couldn’t keep the random and flexible work schedule I enjoy. I wouldn’t be able to spend my leisure time any way I like, I wouldn’t have as much time for quiet reading, I might not amuse myself so much with the Internet dot com. I certainly wouldn’t be able to drop everything and take a trip, change my plans at the last minute, or do any of the other things that make me the man I am.

No, I would become a different man, a better man, with a thousand chips of my very nature shaved away by the delicate chisel in my wife’s knowledgeable hand.

I only hope that man will think of the old me fondly from time to time, as he lives his life to the beat of his life’s new drummerette.

If he can find the time between discussions.

You know, when you’ve been married as long as I have (almost three weeks!), you almost forget what it was like on the other side…

Being single has its advantages. Gas mileage, for example. With only one person in the car, you’ll use less gas, you know, when you drive places… alone. And you’ll never have to worry about another person changing your radio stations. In fact, you never have to be exposed to any tastes other than your own! Gosh, that does sound pretty good… cruising down the highway of life — alone — listening to the same old songs on the radio…

And there are benefits outside your motor vehicle as well. Like at work! Now that I’m married, Karen calls me at work once or twice a day. But if I were single, think about how great it would be: eight uninterrupted hours without hearing a friendly voice on the other end of the telephone line. Even better — eight uninterrupted hours without hearing the person I care about more than any other say, “I love you.”

Yep, being single sure has advantages. I mean, at home you’ll never have to worry about someone messing up your stuff, the kitchen, unmaking the bed, or leaving the toilet seat in your least favorite position… because there’s never anyone there. In fact, when you’re single, you have the immense joy of doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and chores yourself. All by yourself. Sure, you can daydream all you want that the next time you’re at the laundromat, there’ll be a pretty, single girl there who shares your joy of separating whites from darks for a bleach load, or your cultivated taste in fabric softener… but probably not.

And who does this ‘God’ fellow think He is? “It is not good for man to be alone.” What’s that all about? Certainly people weren’t designed with a helper in mind, a divinely inspired counterpart, like that “Bible” of yours says in Genesis 2:18.

When you’re single, you’ll experience neither the joy nor the pain that having a spouse brings. You don’t understand what Solomon means when he writes, “you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes.” Just the numb comfort of loneliness and hope deferred.

Man, those were the days!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a loving wife to attend to. Cheers.

{democracy:243}

Quote of the Day, 11/21/08

11/21/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“Among the attributes of God, although they are all equal, mercy shines with even more brilliancy than justice.” — M. de Cervantes

Joke of the Day, 11/20/08

11/20/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

A woman went into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun. “It’s for my husband,” she told the clerk.

“Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk.

“Are you kidding? He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him!”

Battle of the Bands LXXVIII

11/19/2008, 3:00 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

The next group from Acts is below; moving on is House Divided!

{democracy:310}

Bible Discussion — Acts 25-26

11/19/2008, 2:30 pm -- by Bweinh | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com moves on to the next two chapters of Acts.

PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS:
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14-15 | 16-17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
Esther: 1-2 | 3-5 | 6-8 | 9-10
Acts: 1 | 2 | 3-4 | 5 | 6-7 | 8 | 9-10 | 11-12
13-14 | 15-16 | 17-18 | 19-20 | 21-22 | 23-24

INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
Paul, still in chains, once again meets with Festus and is offered the deal of going back to Jerusalem to defend himself. He declines and appeals to Caesar, removing the burden of the decision from Festus. But before he heads for Rome, another king visits and asks for an audience.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Josh:
During this retelling of Paul\’s testimony, he included the words from the Lord, “It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” Perhaps it had not been until then that Paul fully understood how hard it was, what the price would be for that persecution.

Connie:
Festus was concerned about how King Agrippa may have been perceiving Paul’s story, and tried to cut it off by calling Paul crazy. Agrippa responds with the famous “You almost had me at ‘hello'” line, later immortalized in Jerry Maguire.

Djere:
The trial before Agrippa and Bernice was a big show, in an arena filled with “prominent men of the city.” Weird.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: The Learned and Mad
Connie: Conversion
Djere: Uncle Festus
Steve: Oh Felix

Continued here!

Quote of the Day, 11/19/08

11/19/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I should say winter had given the bone and sinew to literature, summer the tissues and the blood.” — J. Burroughs

Joke of the Day, 11/18/08

11/18/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

Four high school boys skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to their teacher that they’d had a flat tire.

Much to their relief, she smiled and said: “Well, you missed a quiz today, so take your seats and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down, then said, “First question: Which tire was flat?”

Quote of the Day, 11/17/08

11/17/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“A person who can’t pay gets another person who can’t pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don’t make either of them able to do a walking-match.” — C. Dickens

Quote of the Day, 11/14/08

11/14/2008, 7:00 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

“There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.” — G.B. Shaw

Battle of the Bands LXXVII

11/12/2008, 11:15 am -- by Bweinh | No Comments

The next group from Acts is below; moving on is 4000 Assassins!

{democracy:309}

Bible Discussion — Acts 23-24

11/12/2008, 11:00 am -- by Bweinh | 1 Comment

This week, Bweinh.com moves on to the next two chapters of Acts.

INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
Paul’s day in court dawned — but if he thought that meant his ordeal would soon be over, he didn’t know Felix’s nickname was “The Procrastinator.”

David:
In Isaiah 58:4, God rebuked Israel, saying, “Indeed you fast for strife and debate, and to strike with the fist of wickedness.” Here is perfect example of what God was talking about — fasting to kill Paul.

SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Steve:
The sheer volume of Roman might that accompanied Paul to Caesarea (23:23). It was 38 miles to Antipatris and another 26 to Caesarea — those were significant distances 2000 years ago. Were those soldiers headed up there anyway, or was it all for Paul?

Connie:
Paul’s reaction when he was first struck by Ananias. He was beaten many times, but this is the first time I can remember reading that he lost his temper and yelled back. And after he recovers, he says he was wrong; God’s word compels us not to react that way to those over us. Oy, such composure. He’s no Glenn Beck.

David:
I like how the chief captain lied in his letter to Felix, claiming he rescued Paul because he knew Paul was a Roman. He actually found that out after he was getting ready to scourge him.

BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: House Divided; Bribing the Governor
Connie: Herod’s Praetorium
David: Judgment Hall
Steve: Drinking Oath

Continued here!