Clash of the Titans LXXIV: The United Nations

03/18/2008, 10:00 am -- by | 1 Comment

In this corner, opposing the UN, is Djere!

 And in this corner, defending the UN, is MC-B!

There comes a time in every superpower’s life when it looks at the steaming, writhing squalor that once could have been greatness and think: “Enough is enough.” There are as many reasons for the US to remain in the UN as there are for a battered husband to remain married — two. Ridiculously stubborn masculine pride and oh-so-foolish feminine hope.

After rescuing the world from its second global conflict in as many decades, the United States scooped up what was left of her allies, dumped the equivalent of trillions of dollars into their stagnant, welfare-state supporting economies, and created the United Nations. As with all wars to end all wars, most folks were pretty eager to make peace. So 51 nations signed on, creating a group dedicated to end war, safeguard human rights, promote social and economic progress, improve living conditions, and achieve other worthwhile, lofty goals.

Now 60 years, countless wars, at least a dozen genocides, and epidemic after epidemic later, the UN is still cautiously optimistic about the possibility of forming a subsidiary body of a specialized agency’s functional commission (under the direct control of no fewer than two regional commissions), with oversight from the secretariat, charged with maybe getting around to fixing that world peace thing some day. But for now, they’re all pretty focused on hating America.

The crux of UN stupidity is giving two-bit, third-world dictatorships equal footing with the United States, United Kingdom, and other reasonable, civilized, developed countries. For Heaven’s sake! The UN still can’t decide whether the crisis in Darfur is regional unrest, civil unrest, or just plain, old, run-of-the-mill GENOCIDE! Oh, sorry, the UN-sanctioned term is “gross violation.” So, sorry, 200,000-400,000 dead Sudanese, you haven’t been genocided, you’ve been “grossly violated.”

What I propose is simple: relegate the UN to the minor leagues and start our own global organization devoted to awesomeness and peace through strength. Let the socialists and dictatorships have the UN. Until countries grow up, institute democracy and capitalism, and reach a certain level of development, the UN is all they get. I say that the US, UK, Japan, Germany, Australia, Canada, South Korea, Israel, and Taiwan all leave the UN (and leave the French there as well) and form our own permanent multi-national coalition.

Just like the EU won’t let just anybody in until they’re sufficiently developed, neither will we. It’ll be like a members-only club that demonstrates to the world that you’ve made it.

And while the UN is busy mailing letters requesting the cessation of hostilities against civilians in Sudan, we’ll send our letter too. Taped to the front of a cruise missile.

The political side of the UN won’t win a whole lot of points with me or any thinking person. It’s slow, bloated, and controlled by either a handful of elites who can singlehandedly stop it from taking any meaningful action (i.e., the Security Council) or a large number of countries from the developing world with no particular qualms about abusing their citizens (i.e., the General Assembly).

That said, though, the UN has had a positive humanitarian influence on the world. The greatest example is probably smallpox; with cooperation from many of the world’s governments, the World Health Organization took on one of the greatest killers in history, successfully making the world a whole lot safer for those born in developing countries.

The World Bank (chartered separately, but technically under UN jurisdiction) offers inexpensive loans to not only help countries escape poverty (their weaker suit), but also to reconstruct after major crises (their stronger suit). They provided some of the funding that helped Germany and Japan become the economic powerhouses and strong Western allies that they are today. Finally, other arms of the ECOSOC have made significant strides in providing vaccines, education, and food to children in impoverished countries.

Of course, most arguments about the United Nations aren’t about what it has done; instead, they are about what it could do differently, or how much better everyone would be if these crises had been handled by the free market and private donations. There is obviously no factual data on a hypothetical UN-less world, but given the intransigence of the private sector and individual governments to today’s humanitarian crises (even with UN help), it’s very difficult to believe that we could have defeated smallpox or rebuilt Western Europe so quickly, without UN resources and organizational tools.

It’s true that the UN will probably never give the United States as much as it asks us to give to them. This is the case with governments at any level; the ones who need their services are never those who are able to pay for them, so someone else has to pick up the bill. The UN was created partially to fill a perceived need for world government, but it is not particularly effective politically. As a result, it instead finds its strength in coordinating and administering humanitarian responses, and it has performed these types of missions very successfully.

Whether or not the UN could be 1000 times better than it is, its existence has helped the world.

{democracy:224}

Quote of the Day, 3/18/08

03/18/2008, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“My game is like the Pythagorean theorem, no one has an answer.” — S. O’Neal

The Most Important Thing

03/17/2008, 5:22 pm -- by | 1 Comment

I was looking for some guidance recently, but couldn’t find my Bible. Luckily for me and for the rest of you who are lost and seeking answers, there’s Google. Having successfully completed a comprehensive search of what the internet considers “the most important thing to remember,” I am prepared to release my findings to the world.

Here are ten of the things that the Internet thinks are the most important thing to remember, each nugget blossoming with wisdom in its own right, as nuggets are wont to do:

–You simply cannot go wrong with flowers.

–You do not need to learn to throw the Frisbee very far.

–You must be able to carry your own luggage.

–Anyone who has accomplished more than you has no life, and anyone who has accomplished less than you is a noob.

–Swim only when and where guards are on duty.

–Never grab a lizard by its tail!

–Buy a collection of toys that will suit a variety of purposes.

–Wine was made to be enjoyed.

–Empty your bladder completely and regularly.

–You’re here to tell the jurors your story.

 

I’m thinking of basing a personal philosophy or small startup cult around these teachings, or at least cobbling together an email chain letter. Please forward this to ten people that you care about and also back to the person who sent it to you, for you are loved. If you do that, your crush will ask you out TODAY!

Also, I’ll show you how to throw a Frisbee really far.

The Council’s Ruling — Cartoons

03/17/2008, 12:00 pm -- by | 2 Comments

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — What is the greatest cartoon?

Djere delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Job, Connie, and MC-B:

The Simpsons. They’ve been on top for almost 20 years, have 23 Emmys, and the show was named Time Magazine’s best TV show of the 20th Century. D’oh!

 

Steve dissents, joined by Mike and Chloe:

The old school Looney Tunes with Bugs Bunny and friends. There’s no improving on that.

 

Erin dissents, joined by David:

The Animaniacs.

 

Mike dissents, joined by Erin:

The Flintstones effortlessly blended the early ’60s and the Stone Age!

 

Tom dissents:

Felix the cat. Drama. Adventure. Comedy. Love. All mixed with Deus Ex Machina anyone can get behind, the magic bag of tricks.

 

Josh dissents:

He-man and the Masters of the Universe. Super strength, secret identity, magic sword, pet tiger to ride, and an ongoing battle against arch-villain Skeletor.

 

Chloe dissents:

Jackie Chan Adventures – it’s remarkably quotable. And it’s Jackie Chan!

 

David dissents:

The Tick; it was hilariously funny.

 

Next time: What is the ideal bedtime?

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Cheese

03/17/2008, 10:15 am -- by | No Comments

Today’s — perhaps the last — Ask Bweinh! poll is brought to you by our longsuffering patron, Air Transat. The worst airline in the world, bar none!

One last satisfied customer writes:

“I objected to paying what would be an extra £60 for a service most other airlines can provide without payment. The representative cut me off . . . Frankly, I don’t believe them, but I can’t afford to take the chance . . . It’s little short of blackmail. Air Transat will get that extra £60 but it comes at the cost of my never flying with them again irrespective of the service.”

Air Transat — it’s little short of blackmail!

Here’s the world’s best cheese!

Rank Cheese Points
1. Mozzarella 28
2. Extra Sharp Cheddar 24
3. Provolone 15
4. American 12
5. Red Leicester 9
6. Swiss 8
7. Cream Cheese 7
8-11 (tie) Muenster; Irish Cheddar; Havarti; Cheddar 5
Other Mature English Cheddar; Brie; Bleu; Mild Cheddar; Pepper Jack; Smoked Cheddar; Colby Jack; Sharp Cheddar; Gouda; Cheez Whiz; Colby; Ricotta; Cheez Whiz; Feta; Parmesan; Hunter Jack; Head 1-4

 

1913 Ad of the Week — The Improved Eager . . .

03/17/2008, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

I neither need nor want to say much about this frightful little invention, but I do want to point out:
 
“When its simplicity of application is known they would have no other as a gift.”

People gave this thing AS A GIFT?!

Imagine the possibilities!

Bridal shower — “Oh, it’s not for you, dear…it’s just, well, I know Millard, and I’ve tried your quiche…”
Sweet 16 — “We just figured all your friends knew, sweetie! Please come out of your room!”
Christmas gift exchange — “Return it to the company, Bob? I don’t think so. I bought it used.”

New Chick Tract Quiz!

03/16/2008, 11:40 pm -- by | No Comments

 

©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).

{democracy:223}

Life

03/14/2008, 2:30 pm -- by | 1 Comment

— I —

Back from yet another double-digit drubbing on the indoor soccer field. I toss my things, dejectedly, on the floor toward a bag of unclean laundry. My coat and shoes, I leave by the door for easy access in the morning. No one worries about appearances. I do not worry about pretense.

A few minutes pass. Closing the computer, I head to the shower. There is no wait. The sweat and soreness from the evening’s drive and the night’s efforts disappear, replaced by the warmth of the refreshing, relaxing stream. I remember C.S. Lewis, as a demon in The Screwtape Letters, writing of the sheer (to him, repellent) joy that humans received from just such an experience, and I laugh out loud, in grateful thanks to God.

No one thinks my laughter strange. For no one hears.

Later, I let myself sink down onto the textured tub floor as the water softly patters down from above. I remain as long as I like, without an interrupting knock to break the reverie.

I am, blissfully, free.

 

— II —

Back from another day of work, at a desk, facing a computer, I toss my things onto the floor at the foot of my bed. I open another computer. I turn on a television. No one is there, to go on a walk with, to talk to, to see.

A few hours pass. I communicate on the computer, the telephone; I shuffle back and forth between the bed and the kitchen and the bathroom, a well-worn path of life processes. I remember the lists of things I really ought to do, I need to do — yet I choose not to do. No one is there to encourage, to help or to be helped.

I speak only in anger, at my lazy computer. No one hears.

Later, I fall asleep too late, wasting the final hour half-watching an irrelevant sport while I loop through the same four websites. I remain awake as long as I like, without edifying distraction from another living soul.

I am, unhappily, free.

 

— III —

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My fortress; I shall not be shaken.

“On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.” (ESV)

He That Hath Ears to Hear, Part II — The Wayside

03/14/2008, 10:30 am -- by | No Comments

Read Part One here.

If you find yourself sleeping through church, please give me just five minutes! If you find yourself unable or unwilling to read your Bible or pray, because you believe that God has nothing to say to you anyway, please read this article!

In the Parable of the Sower, Jesus describes four types of soil that we offer God to work with in our life; the first He calls “the wayside.” This is where you are — but you don’t have to stay there.

The wayside is the ground that borders the fertile field — trampled by traffic, beaten, barren, and impenetrable. Listen to the explanation He gave His disciples about this ground. He said that when God speaks in your presence, it hits a hard and unbreakable surface. It lays there for but a moment before the devil swoops in like a bird and carries it away.

In this parable, God is always speaking, always casting out his word: to move and motivate you; to free you and heal you; to make you what you need to be. By tuning out, you have given the enemy the right to intercept and carry off anything God says to you. You think that the One who loves you most never calls, or writes, or visits, but in reality, you’ve let the devil take over the phone, check your mail and answer the door.

The first thing to do is realize what has happened. Take a stand by praying, “Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening.” The next step is softening up the ground. But how did it get so hard and how can you soften it up again? In the parable it was hardened by a constant traffic of feet, carts and hooves. This constant barrage of objects and instruments beat the ground, making it hard and impenetrable. How do we change that? First, you must shut everything else down. Close the road to traffic. Turn off the television, the radio and the computer. Put away the hunting rifle, the fishing pole, the toolbox — whatever you distract yourself with. You have to eliminate distractions and get before the Lord.

Charles Finney wrote an excellent tract in the 1800s, called Breaking up the Fallow Ground. It was based on Hosea 10:12: “Break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the Lord, till he comes and reigns righteousness upon you.” Your ground will not be barren unless you leave it barren. To be good for tilling, ground must be broken up and plowed. This only happens in your heart by an intentional act of your will.

You must take control and get your heart into the place where you can, and will, hear what the Spirit is saying to you.

Quote of the Day, 3/14/08

03/14/2008, 7:00 am -- by | 1 Comment

“Like everyone else, I am wary about the way spending is being increased at some levels.” — E. Spitzer, March 2006

He That Hath Ears to Hear

03/13/2008, 12:45 pm -- by | No Comments

I believe that the most pressing problem in the body of Christ — the thing that most hinders growth in Christians, leaving them confused and frustrated in their walk — is hearing from God. This article is the first in a series on hearing from God, taken from the Parable of the Sower.

Part One: The Importance of Hearing

In this parable, Jesus talks about a man sowing seed; He lists the four types of soil where the seed lands, then compares them to those who hear the word of God. Telling His disciples that “the seed is the word of God,” He specifically connects each type of soil to people. It is also important to note that when He tells and explains the parable in Matthew 13, He uses the words “hear,” “perceive,” and “understand” over 20 times! Clearly His point is to instruct us on how to hear from God.

But how important is hearing from God? Is it optional? Is it something that preachers and other spiritually-minded people do for us? Isn’t that why we pay preachers anyway, to hear from God and bring it down from the mountain to us like Moses did? No, no, no and no.

The Bible says that we are saved by faith, but it also says that “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” So a man cannot even be a Christian if he has not heard from God. Paul wrote to the Romans: “As many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God.” A person must be in an active relationship with God’s Spirit — listening and obeying — to be considered a child of God.

Can you conceive of being married to someone with whom you never have any interaction? No talking, no listening, no times of intimacy? You are the bride of Christ; you must hear His voice! While Jesus is teaching this parable in Luke, someone tells Him that His family has come to see Him, and he says: “My mother and brothers are those who hear the Word of God and keep it!”

Hearing from God isn’t just important; it is everything to the Christian. In Deuteronomy 8, God tells the Israelites: “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” Hearing from God is the first step in faith. James teaches that the blessed of God are not hearers only, but are both hearers and doers. He goes on to teach that true faith is a process, which must begin with hearing, proceed to belief and culminate in action.

The next three articles in this series will deal with the types of soil that keep us from hearing, cutting us off from fellowship with God and short-circuiting the work of faith in our lives.

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Clothes

03/13/2008, 10:00 am -- by | 1 Comment

Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by the National Invitation Tournament, America’s longest-running postseason basketball tournament! 71 years of second-best!

The best clothes that exist —

Rank Clothes Points
1. T-Shirts 17
2. Shorts 16
3-4 (tie) Heavy Socks; Pants 10
5-6 (tie) Scarves; Shoes 9
7. Jeans 8
8. Sweaters 6
9-10 (tie) Hats; Hoodies 5
Other Baseball Caps; Sandals; Medieval Festival Costumes; Turtlenecks; Brian St. Laurent Silk Cravat; Underwear; Accessories; Long-Sleeve T; Purple Bra; Skirts; Louis D’Orieo Black Heelguards; Comfy Lounge Pants; Sweatshirts; Suspenders; Birthday Suit; Summer Dresses; Suits; Running Shoes; Gloves 1

 

Joke of the Day, 3/13/08

03/13/2008, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

A golfer was sitting in the clubhouse after playing a round. He looked upset, so his friend came over and asked how it went.

“It was terrible! On the 16th hole, I sliced one out onto the freeway, it went through the windshield of a bus, and there was a terrible accident. The bus went out of control and hit a car — there were people all over the place!”

His friend said, “That’s awful!! What did you do??”

“Well, I closed up my stance and shortened my backswing a little.”

Battle of the Bands XLVIII

03/12/2008, 12:30 pm -- by | No Comments

Here are the next batch of band names from Luke (twoBYtwo moves on!)

{democracy:222}

Bible Discussion — Luke 11

03/12/2008, 12:30 pm -- by | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter of Luke, Luke 11.

Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

 
INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
This is a great passage for the Spitzer scandal backdrop this week, because Jesus begins by emphasizing our need for daily dependence upon God — through prayer for our every need: physical, mental and spiritual. He goes on to show that although hypocrisy may be effective for a time to succeed in the natural world, it cannot bring lasting reward in the Kingdom of God. The outside must match the inside.

David:
Jesus teaches His disciples to pray in this chapter, to persevere in prayer, to understand where their authority comes from in prayer (binding the strongman), and to avoid the hypocrisy of the scribes and Pharisees.

Mike:
A rollicking adventure of a chapter where Jesus teaches about prayer, unclean spirits, and then denounces some lawyers!

 
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Mike:
v. 52–Jesus’ charge that the lawyers “have taken away the key of knowledge.” He seems to accuse those who know the law the best of misinterpreting it, and thus barring themselves and others from the rich life the law could provide.

David:
In verse 42, Jesus compared the Pharisees to hidden graves that men walk over without noticing. This action would render them unclean, in their theology. I believe that unknowingly accepting hypocritical and false teaching does the same to us now.

Steve:
Luke says Jesus drove out a mute demon, and that when it left, the possessed man could speak, amazing the crowd. Interesting.

Josh:
In this passage the entire “woe” segment is sparked by a Pharisee who was taken aback that Jesus did not wash up before a meal. I wish I’d known that when I was younger and Mom was on me about washing up.

Chloe:
Abel is counted among the prophets.

Connie:
The scribes, Pharisees and men of law grew angry, despising and blaspheming the words of Jesus; then a woman spoke up and admired Him and the wisdom and power with which He spoke.

At first I dismissed His rebuke to her as one to those whose would later idolize Mary, but really it was much more than that. Jesus led the woman to a higher consideration. Though it’s a great privilege to hear the word of God, the ones who are truly blessed — that is, blessed of the Lord — are those who hear it, keep it in memory, and keep to it as their way and rule. Look at how many heard the same things she did that day, yet used them to scheme against Him.

 
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh, Mike: Queen of the South
Chloe: Sign of Jonah
Steve: Lamplight
David: woeuntoyou
Connie: Best Seats in the Synagogue

Continued here!

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