Bible Discussion — Romans 3

09/12/2007, 12:00 pm -- by | No Comments

This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter in the book of Romans, Romans 3.

Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50

Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40

And the book of Romans: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

 
INTRODUCTION:
Mike:
Romans 1: The Gentiles are guilty!
Romans 2: The Jews are guilty!
Romans 3:1-20: EVERYBODY’S GUILTY!
Romans 3:21-30: But:there is some good news.

David:
Paul has revealed God’s wrath against the ungodly, then extended the parameters of ungodliness to include the Jews. Now he attempts to ameliorate their position while simultaneously reaffirming their guilt. And he does it all in a language he has not mastered, making it all the more confusing.

 
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Steve:
Paul asks what the profit of circumcision was, immediately answering, “Much in every way!” He must have had lowered rates of HIV in mind.

Chloe:
Verse 2’s explanation of why the Jews were important — they were entrusted with the very words of God. Wow, how privileged are they? But then again, now we’ve all been entrusted with the Word of God.

Josh:
Verses 10-18 appear to be one long quotation, but are actually several shorter quotes from all over the OT, seamlessly compiled to establish a point.

David:
Paul says there are many advantages to being a Jew, but lists just one — they received the law.

 
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Grave Throat; Not Even One
David: Just Damnation
Chloe: Every Mouth
Mike: Venom of Vipers
Steve: My Lie to His Glory

Continued here!

Exodus Playoffs — Finals

09/12/2007, 10:15 am -- by | No Comments

Here are the finals and the third-place matchup in the Exodus band name playoffs!!

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Football Results (Week One)

09/12/2007, 8:45 am -- by | 3 Comments

This year, the Bweinh!tributors shall compete each week by proxy on the mighty gridiron! We will each select the winners of five specific games each week, and we shall see if the best prognosticator in our midst is a football fan, or just a lucky guesser.

The first week’s results
Carolina def. St. Louis; Detroit def. Oakland; Cincinnati def. Baltimore
Tennessee def. Jacksonville; New England def. New York Jets

Bweinh!tributor This Week Overall GB
Djere 5-0 5-0 —
Connie; Job 4-1 4-1 1
Steve; Tom 3-2 3-2 2
Chloe 0-0 0-0 2.5
Josh; Mike J; MC-B; David 2-3 2-3 3

 

By category
Slight fans: 7-3 (.700)
Uninterested: 9-6 (.600)
Avid fans: 11-9 (.550)

Next week’s games
Green Bay v. New York Giants; Minnesota v. Detroit
Dallas v. Miami; Atlanta v. Jacksonville; Kansas City v. Chicago

Joke of the Day, 9/12/07

09/12/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

A man was walking on the beach and tripped over a lamp. A few seconds later, a genie popped out and said, “I’m required to grant you three wishes, but since you did not treat my lamp with respect, I will give twice what you get to the person you hate the most — your boss.”

Stunned, the man quickly made his first wish: “I want lots of money.”

Instantly $20 million appeared in bags on the beach, while the genie told him $40 million had appeared in his boss’s bank account.

Next the man asked for an incredible sports car. A Lamborghini appeared before him, while at the same moment, according to the genie, two showed up in his boss’s driveway.

Finally, the genie said, “You have only one wish left; choose carefully.”

The man said, “You know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.”

Yo Chick Tract Excerpt! ‘Sup?

09/11/2007, 2:45 pm -- by | 1 Comment

©1984-2007 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).

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Youth Pastor Forced To Put Training Wheels On Mountain Bike

09/11/2007, 1:45 pm -- by | No Comments

Best of Job, April 2006.

Local youth worker Tony “The Tiger” Reynolds was ceremoniously forced to put training wheels on his mountain bike Friday, after Pastor Paul caught him delivering a message to the youth group from the apocryphal book of Tobias.

“Tony, you’ve got to stop doing stuff like this,” Pastor Paul scolded Reynolds. “Until you can prove to me that you know which books are divinely inspired and which are heretical, the Board and I have decided to make you ride your bike around with training wheels.”

“Surely this punishment is more than I can bear!,” Tony lamented.

“But surely you prefer it to working the fryer down at Tasty Burger,” Pastor Paul coldly responded.

This step is seen as the most severe by the Board in its dealings with the enthusiastic youth pastor, approached only by the time they forced Reynolds to cut his hair after he told several people in the congregation that “time travel” was the coolest spiritual gift.

“It’s complicated,” explained church elder Roy Mentack. “You can’t just spray him with a water bottle like a cat.”

“Hmm… A water bottle,” Mentack added quietly.

Meanwhile, Tony was attaching the training wheels to his Cannondale bike behind the Youth Lodge. “Yes, this is a great trial set before me, but I am ready to overcome. I now know what it must’ve been like for Judas Maccabeus, and how he felt when he had to fight the Hellenistic oppressors we read about in II Maccabees.”

And It’s Another Chick Tract Answer!

09/11/2007, 10:00 am -- by | No Comments

What do we learn in this tract??

If you picked “After the flood, dinosaurs became slower and easier to catch,” you’re a winner!!

©1984-2007 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).

I Win

09/11/2007, 8:45 am -- by | No Comments

Best of Job, April 2006.

Pull up alongside another Jeep Wrangler at the Strong’s Ave intersection.

Turn down music.

Passenger in Jeep eating fries.

Me: “Can I get in on some of that?”

 

I get in on some of that.

Quote of the Day, 9/11/07

09/11/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

“It will not be quick and it will not be easy. Our adversaries are not one or two terrorist leaders, or even a single terrorist organization or network. It’s a broad network of individuals and organizations that are determined to terrorize and, in so doing, to deny us the very essence of what we are: free people. They don’t live in Antarctica. They work, they train and they plan in countries. They’re benefiting from the support of governments. They’re benefiting from the support of non-governmental organizations that are either actively supporting them with money, intelligence and weapons or allowing them to function on their territory, and tolerating, if not encouraging, their activities. In either case, it has to stop.

“We’ll have to deal with the networks. One of the ways to do that is to drain the swamp they live in. And that means dealing not only with the terrorists, but those who harbor terrorists. This will take a long, sustained effort. It will require the support of the American people as well as our friends and allies around the world.” — D. Rumsfeld, 9/18/01

Of Football, Falling Planes, and False Attachments

09/10/2007, 6:12 pm -- by | 2 Comments

Like all of us, I remember exactly where I was six years ago Sept. 11. Those were days while we were both in school, days before we had children, days for sleeping late. So I woke up around 8:15 or so and hopped in the car to the Acme to pick up my Daily News, which I planned to enjoy with a nice cup of coffee. I didn’t have the radio on, which I suppose was unusual. I went in and bought my Daily News (Bobby Abreu was on the back page and the Phillies had a crucial series with the Atlanta Braves coming up) and I saw some employees huddled around a TV. I left the Acme around 9, flipped on KYW News Radio and it was obvious the world had changed forever. Mixed in with the grief and shock I felt that day was an emotion it has taken me six years to admit to myself, much less to any of you:

I felt alive.

Now, mind you, I don’t mean to say that I liked what was happening that day. But there was a sense on that day that, for the first time in my life, what I was living was real. There was a vitality to the day; when I went to the seminary where the students had a prayer meeting, I kissed Jill goodbye with more intention. The love I had for my colleagues was deeper, as we exchanged warmer hugs. The frustration I felt at some of my would-be prophetic colleagues for their easy answers was more than academic.

Perhaps I felt that for the first time in my life, I was part of something real. Perhaps, in fact, I felt so alive because I felt–maybe for the first time, really–that I might die.

The miracle of the day, or maybe not a miracle but common grace that God gives all of us, is that I was OK with that. I felt like I might die, but still I felt completely safe, like there was a life no terrorist could touch inside me. I felt like the course of my life was being altered by something enormous and world-shaking, that suddenly being a Christian was going to be a dangerous and underground thing again, and at the same time I felt completely assured that I would be OK as an alien and a stranger on this earth–or at home in heaven.

I still haven’t sorted out exactly why I felt that way on that day. But I think that it had something to do with the fact that, for the first time in my life, everything was up for grabs. For the first time, all the things that tied me down no longer had their power to bind. All the secret peace treaties I had drawn up with America — “You protect my body with military might and provide me with a prosperous land, and in return I’ll serve God” — all those treaties were now null and void because it became apparent that America could not keep them. I think I felt alive and safe in God on that day because everything but God was under threat.

Henri Nouwen wrote and spoke extensively about “false attachments.” A “false attachment,” for Nouwen, is when you give your emotions, your heart, to something which ultimately disappoints. In The Genesee Diary, Nouwen talks about how he so often allowed his spirits to rise and fall based on his number of speaking engagements, his perception of how others looked at him, and even whether or not he received mail. As he saw it, he allowed so many things to dominate his heart rather than the One who would free it to be all it could be. I think on September 11, 2001, for the first time, I saw my false attachments for what they really were–powerless to deliver the satisfaction I believed they would. Those terrorists intended it for evil, and indeed wrought great evil through it. Yet on that day, I think I saw what I will clearly see when the Kingdom comes in its fullness: I saw that all earthly kingdoms and peoples were powerless, and I saw that there is only One who is worthy to be attached to. This, I think, is why I felt fully alive.

Fast-forward six years to a time when I did not feel fully alive: Sunday’s Eagles- Packers football game. The Eagles are historically ill-prepared for season openers, and managed to lose a game to a vastly inferior Green Bay squad which spent most of the day unable to get out of its own way. And I’m angry. In fact, I was so angry I watched the Giants-Cowboys game in hopes that somehow, someway, both teams would lose, or at least make each other miserable in the process. I wasn’t quite to the point of hoping that players got injured; but I was actively hoping to see some disappointment. The Giants scored an early touchdown on a long pass to Plaxico Burress; but then they botched the extra point and their punter got squashed in the process. This was good, as I saw it, because everyone was disappointed.

I wondered today how things have changed in the last six years, a full fifth of my life. All I know for sure is that today I am still experiencing residual anger about the capricious bounces of a football, while six years ago I felt alive even though planes were falling all around me. This is the power of false attachments, and to be honest, I have no idea when they came back. I have no idea how I got here; I have no idea when exactly I signed away my birthright for this mess of pottage. All I know is that false attachments creep back in when no one is looking, and if we are not vigilant against them, we are complicit in their power over us.

May God save us, his people, from false attachments; and may it not happen through terror, but through a re-birth only his Spirit can provide.

The Council’s Ruling — Michael Vick

09/10/2007, 12:00 pm -- by | No Comments

This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.

This week’s question — What should happen to Michael Vick following his guilty plea in the dogfighting case?

Steve delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Connie, Mike and Job:

He should serve 1 to 2 years, then be allowed to play again. Far worse crimes have gone underpunished by the NFL.

 

David offers this opinion, joined by MC-B and Tom:

He should be forgotten.

 

Tom offers this opinion, joined by David and Djere:

The standard NFL punishment for dogfighting should be levied against him.

 

Chloe offers this opinion:

He should get the maximum jail sentence, PETA should follow him forever, picketing wherever he goes, and he should never be allowed within 50 yds of another animal.

 

Josh played no part in the determination of this issue.

Next week: When should a child get a cell phone?

Ask Bweinh! Poll — Comic Strip

09/10/2007, 10:45 am -- by | 5 Comments

Today’s Ask Bweinh! poll is sponsored by the late Fanny Crosby.

Here are our very favorite comic strips.

Rank Comic Points
1. Get Fuzzy 24
2-3 (tie) Calvin and Hobbes; The Far Side 21
4. Dilbert 20
5. Perry Bible Fellowship 6
6-8 (tie) Zits; Pickles; BC 5
9-11 (tie) Guindon; Lulu Eightball; Control-Alt-Delete 4
Other For Better and For Worse; Loose Parts; Retail; Peanuts; Ziggy; Fox Trot; Baby Blues; Non Sequitur; Doonesbury 1-3

Job on Romney

09/10/2007, 9:30 am -- by | 2 Comments

Yeah, I get it. A lot of my fellow conservative Christians support Mitt Romney for President. Ya want a cookie?

Snap out of it.

I’ll say it again — the reason conservative Christians support Romney is for his support of Biblically-based causes like the pro-life movement and the defense of marriage act. But when it comes to defending the actual Bible?

If I were to the San Francisco Giants what I am to Christianity, I would want our home runs to be fueled — only — by our true sweat and grit, not powered by something artificial like steroids. To think it’s all okay just so long as the ball gets over the fence and we put some runs up? It cheapens the home run and it would cheapen our defense of the unborn if it’s traced back to our willingness to defend it with a mercenary/avatar, rather than our own soldiers. Shameful.

I guess I view my vote as an extension of my witness. The reason I have the stamina to argue, the reason I’ve got a library card, and the reason I campaigned aggressively for W is because I passionately want to defend the unborn, defend Christianity against Islamofascism, and defend the institution of marriage (among other issues). But I didn’t just wake up one morning with this passion. I harbor and dispatch it because I’m saved by the grace of Jesus Christ and I want to, in all things, prosecute the Gospel…even with my vote.

Mike Huckabee is electable, didn’t have his conservative credentials suddenly hatch one night in 2002, is an ordained minister and will never have to parse his beliefs with carefully articulated speeches.

But we pull our support from him much like the early Christians pulled their support from Christ…because they weren’t convinced He could win.

Joke of the Day, 9/10/07

09/10/2007, 7:00 am -- by | No Comments

A blind guy on a barstool yells out, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a loud voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blond and the bouncer is blond. I’m a 6′ tall, 200-pound black belt, plus the guy next to me is 6’2″, 225, and a rugby player. Oh, and the fella to your right is 6’5″, pushing 300, and a wrestler. And each and every one of us is blond. Think about it, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah… not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

News in Brief, 9/7/07

09/7/2007, 4:09 pm -- by | No Comments

In Freeze-dried pollenator news, scientists have discovered just how complicated the humble honeybee is – identifying eight species of bacteria, four lineages of fungi, and seven different viruses.

Scientist turning on honeybee grinding machine – “Uh huh, life’s like this…”
Bumblebee Man – “¡Ay, Dios no me ama!”

In psychotic, self-important murderer news, everybody’s favorite terrorist struggling to stay relevant Osama/Usama bin Laden released a new diatribe today. Thank God for the New Testament.

Osama – “All praise is due to Allah… and from His Law is retaliation in kind: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and the killer is killed.”
Jesus – “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

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