Dear Melvin Mora:
The background for this letter is here.
Querida Sra. Mora,
Dear Melvin:
Saludos de Nueva York, casa de los campeones del mundo, ganadors del “World Series” en nombre vientiseis, los Yanquis, reyes de todo ellos ven, para ahora, para siempre, mundo sin fin, amén.
Greetings from New York, home of the 26-time World Champion New York Yankees.
Seré breve.
I will be brief.
Soy el perdedor de una apuesta, una apuesta sobre el serie mas pronto de tus Baltimore Orioles (un equipo muy pobre, de perros y chicas) y los Yanquis (reyes de todo ellos ven, para ahora, para siempre, mundo sin fin, amén).
I lost a bet concerning the most recent series between your estimable Baltimore Orioles and the aforementioned Yankees.
Ahora, te debo el regalo de mis servicios, cualquiera cuidar por tus niños hermosos (partidarios futuros de los Yanquis, naturalmente), o te ayudar en ley, si Hugo Chavez (asesino loco) ataca su casa o su dinero.
Now I owe you the gift of my services — either to care for your beautiful children, or to assist you legally in the event of trouble with your lovely homeland.
Ud. puede contar conmigo (odiar los Orioles para ahora, para siempre). Daré tus niños o tus asuntos legales todo el cuidado que ellos merecen.
You can count on me, sir. I will give your children or your legal issues all the care they deserve.
Mas sinceramente,
Sincerely,
Steve Maxon
bweinh.com
The Council’s Ruling — Ugliest Word
This and every Monday, the Bweinh!tributors, having convened in secret for hours of reasoned debate and consideration, will issue a brief and binding ruling on an issue of great societal import.
This week’s question — What is the ugliest English word?
Steve delivers the ruling of the Council, joined by Djere, David, Erin, and Connie:
Phlegm. It reads ugly, it sounds ugly, it simply embodies ugly.
MC-B offers this opinion, joined by Tom and Mike:
Gnash. Doesn’t sound too bad, but when written, it’s easily twice as unpleasant as it sounds.
Chloe offers this opinion, joined by Job:
Diarrhea — you cannot say it without flinching.
Kaitlin offers this opinion:
Ugly. Nothing is uglier than ugly.
Josh played no part in the determination of this issue.
Next time: What is the most useful animal?
Quote of the Day, 6/9/08
“[London tea-shops] have an atmosphere of their own. They rely for their effect on an insufficiency of light, an almost total lack of ventilation, a property chocolate cake which you are not supposed to cut, and the sad aloofness of their ministering angels. It is to be doubted whether there is anything in the world more damping to the spirit than a London tea-shop of this kind, unless it be another London tea-shop of the same kind.” — P.G. Wodehouse
Bweinh! Goes to the Movies — Kung Fu Panda
Jack Black in the feel-good movie of the year this… is!
Though my brain can hardly believe it… I… actually… liked… a Jack Black movie.
Uncharacteristic of our movie-watching habits, Official Wife Karen and I watched this 92-minute romp on opening day. And while usually admitting you have a problem is the first step, Jack Black as Po, the laziest panda in ancient China was laugh-out-loud funny. From the opening sequence and the one-liners straight through to the end, something about this movie just worked.
Stunned civilian one: He’s so awesome!
Stunned civilian two: And attractive!
Stunned civilian three: How can we ever repay you?
Po: No charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.
By far, the funniest scene was between Po and Shifu (Dustin Hoffman): an elaborate kung fu battle between master and student… over the last dumpling in the bowl.
The cast is surprisingly star-studded, if you consider Jack Black a star, but that may be the most disappointing part of the movie. With creatures voiced by Jackie Chan (Monkey), Lucy Liu (Viper), Angelina Jolie (Tigress), Seth Rogen (Mantis), and Ian Cross (Crane), you really don’t hear a whole lot out of them. I really wish there had been more memorable lines to take away from the movie.
Adding to the humor was that we saw it on opening night. Sure it’s funny to laugh at a cartoon, but it’s funnier (for me) to notice that Official Wife Karen laughs when the adults laugh, and I laugh when the audience full of children laughs. To enjoy the laughter of children, catch this movie at around seven, and do so within the first week. Hilarious.
In all, I give it an astonishing bweinh! out of BWEINH! (6.5 out of 7).
Sabbath Musings
What do we know about the Sabbath? There was a Sabbath for Jews in the Old Covenant — it was the seventh day of the week, what we now call Saturday. It was ordained of God as a day of rest, so work and travel were forbidden. After the return of the Babylonian captives, Nehemiah and Ezra founded the synagogue and developed the tradition of calling all of Israel together on the Sabbath to be taught their own language and Scripture. All of those facts are still true and in effect in the Jewish religion today.
Now, in the New Covenant, what do we have? The “Lord’s Day,” as John called it in Revelation, the first day of the week, on what we now call Sunday. This was the day Jesus rose from the dead, the day when the early church met to celebrate his Resurrection. It was never called “the Sabbath” in Scripture and the early church did not view it as the Sabbath.
In fact, according to Pliny\’s letter to Emperor Trajan in 110 A.D., the early church met early on Sunday morning, went off to their jobs and livelihoods, then came back together in the evening to share a simple meal together. And these were slaves and poor tradesmen — none of whom had the ability, or the moral compunction, to tell their masters, “I have to be off on Sunday. It\’s the Sabbath.”
So where does the confusion come from over a Christian Sabbath? As with most Christian corruptions, the idea of the Sabbath was introduced into the church when it succumbed to the gentle nurturing of a well-meaning but unspiritual Roman emperor named Constantine.
To quote Henry C. Sheldon’s History of the Christian Church:
“The law of Constantine issued in 321, relative to the observance of Sunday, contains the following prescription: ‘On the venerable day of the Sun, let the magistrates and the people residing in the cities rest, and let all workshops be closed’ ” (Vol. 1, at 487).
To be fair, Constantine did not originate the idea; it\’s something that happened logically in Christianity. The early church felt that their Lord’s Day was emblematic of the Jewish Sabbath, and should carry with it the concept of “not thinking your own thoughts” or “doing your own deeds.” It was to be a day dedicated to the worship of Jesus Christ — but it was only a manner of time until the blundering emperor would cast it into stone as a Sabbath, plunging us back under the law.
Why did the church leadership accept it? The concept of a Sabbath, combined with mandatory tithing, gave them great control over the populace, and access to great wealth. If these things were mandatory, people had to come to church, and they had to bring 10% of their money.
Why did the common man accept it? Because then, as now, it was much easier to conform to a law than to walk with God. Who wouldn’t want to give God one day a week and 10% of their money and be done with it? It\’s a great deal if you can get it. The problem is that he owns every day of your life, and every penny you have. He can ask for any — or all — of it, whenever he likes.
Why should we care? Because you cannot — please listen — you cannot take portions of the Law, drop them into the New Covenant, and expect them to work. The Law, according to Paul, came to produce frustration, ungodliness, and eventually death, to show us our need for Christ. When you apply it to a Christian now, it does the same thing! Preaching the Sabbath or tithing as mandatory obligations for Christians only puts people in bondage and hinders their walk with God.
When should Christians meet? I lean toward Sunday, out of tradition, and because that is when most of my fellow Christians meet. Is it a sin to meet on Saturday? No, no more than meeting on any other day or night. Paul makes it clear that under grace, such things are no longer used to judge us.
Clash of the Titans LXXXIV: Dressing Up
| In this corner, opposing dressing up, is Job! | And in this corner, in favor of it, is Chloe! | |
|
I will have my own policies Dressing up is a fact of American life. Social, religious and vocational pressures demand conformity and attention to dress in varying degrees. We have terms to assess the severity of these demands: black-tie, business casual, country formal, etc. This is unavoidable, unless you endeavor to be a pariah, in which case consciously dressing down is as much a conformity as consciously dressing up. But the hardest crease for me to iron out of this societal doctrine is the thought that dressing up is an attempt to separate one’s self, one’s workplace or one’s church from its human surroundings: to suddenly appear as more than we actually are. In short, to be something we aren’t. I am a Seabee in the Navy Reserves, and as you might imagine, I have several uniforms that I must wear at times. If you speak to members of the military about their uniforms, the consensus would be that we wear our uniforms with pride and the feeling of having earned them. Furthermore, most would agree that when we wear them together, we represent something far greater than ourselves as individuals. The same can not be said of the uniform of modern fashion — a constant and ceaseless competition, an exercise in poor taste and inadequacy. Dressing up has become increasingly uncomfortable, inefficient, impractical and at times blatantly immoral — if not through the exposure or enhancement of flesh, then by the consuming, metastasized materialism that boils inside those dedicated to looking “good.” If your job has a dress code, then of course you must abide. If you need a false confidence to get you through the day and curry the favor of those shallow enough to reward your efforts at color coordination, then of course you must abide. But if you can dress practically, cleanly and cheaply while losing no sleep . . . then you should abide that with equal fervence. |
I like to look pretty. I wear skirts and high heels and makeup and jewelry. I spend a lot of time getting ready, even if all I\’m doing that day is working a ten-hour shift at the restaurant. My reasons have more to do with the way I feel about myself than they do with the way others treat me, but I have noticed a big difference when I look nice. Yes, sometimes I get unwanted attention from men (see “The Proper Way to Treat Your Waitress” from last summer), but they are never crude or inappropriate. And yes, sometimes people are still rude or impatient with me. But when it comes down to it, when I dress up, I get more respect. Why is that? Well, when we see a poorly-dressed person, certain stereotypes tend to pop into our heads: they don\’t care about themselves, so why should we care about them? Or perhaps they\’re lazy, they\’re bums, they don\’t take care of themselves. But when we see well-dressed people, we think of wealth and prosperity. We assume they\’ve worked hard to get where they are, and that they care about themselves. These associations make us relate more positively to them, and so we give them more respect. Let me give you an example straight from my opponent\’s mouth. When Job came to visit Steve, he was dressed in his Navy uniform. The attendant at the toll booth saw his outfit and gave Job a significant discount on his toll. Job has found that when he dresses up in his uniform, he not only gets more respect, he also gets a lot of freebies and discounts. Whatever Job may say, even he has found that dressing up is beneficial. |
Gollum Still In Search of Ring
 |
The Answer to the Chick-stion
 |
If you picked “Accept Jesus as Lord or they’ll burn in hell,” you’re a winner!!
Yes or no, Turkey?!
©1984-2008 Chick Publications, Inc. Reprinted without permission as fair use (parody).
We Shall Not Be Moved
Allow me to be clear: Barack Obama is the very antithesis of what conservatives hold dear. He is an amalgam of the passions of the moment, a man beholden to virtually no voting record, yet still rated as the most liberal senator in the United States. Armed with a fully Democratic Congress, he would, as president, set about making good on his fevered promises ”” retreating troops, universal health care, liberal judges, and other vast, vast gains for the left. The idea of four years with Obama as president sends (literally, now) a chill up my spine.
In speaking to other conservatives, I find similar emotions, even to the point that we shy away from talking about it at all. It is unnerving, nightmarish and nauseating. It is apocalyptic. But talk about it we have, the intrepid among us, and I have found a common thread in our hushed whispers that is uniquely interesting and has made me feel strangely warmed. I have not heard one conservative, either on the personal or media level, talk about moving abroad if Obama should win.
Such a little thing, but to me, titanic in its implications.
Back in 2004, when President Bush was hanging tough enough in the polls for liberals to imagine their own doomsday scenario, I remember four people I know personally who said they would move abroad if he won. Now, as a Vermonter, I am subjected to a rarer and more robust species of liberal than others might encounter, but the theme remained true throughout donkeydom.
Of course I knew even then that it was pure desperation, not genuine sentiment ”” and sure enough, all four of those people survived to crawl, weakened but gasping, through the thick battle haze of a destroyed and dismembered America to valiantly place freshly-peeled Obama ’08 bumper stickers on the back of their Subaru Outbacks.
Allow me to be clear. No such statement will pass these lips. In fact, if you hear any conservative say it without irony, go buy a lottery ticket. It’s like an albino polar bear ”” the American conservative who would imagine leaving America to those people. The difference in vision is subtle but all-important. America isn’t just my residence. This is my land and you are my people. If she is attacked — from inside or out — we can be depended upon to defend her.
If Obama wins, I will be distressed, but I won’t be disembarking. The thought would simply never cross my mind.
One Hundred Words (15)
It’d be like Happy Christmas and Merry New Year. Gentlemen and Ladies, Brothers Warner.
Ernie and Bert, corn creamed.
Sirhan Sirhan.
Trojan Appaloosas, seeds of sunflowers — Roll n’ Rock 7/24!
Like the Unbelievable Hulk went to his throat, nose and ear doctor with mouth and hoof disease.
The Pips and Gladys Knight — ya feelin’ me? Catch my drift, Yoda?
It’s why I didn’t, knowdontcha?
I could’ve told her I loved her. It would’ve been accurate.
But it sure wouldn’t have sounded right.
The glass wasn’t half empty or half full — the glass was completely neutral.
That’s right — I have a Swedish glass.
–JBT
Joke of the Day, 6/5/08
What’s the difference between Yankee Stadium hot dogs and Camden Yards hot dogs?
You can buy Yankee Stadium hot dogs in October.
Battle of the Bands LVIV
Here are the next batch of band names from Luke (Subversive Nation moves on!)
Bible Discussion: Luke 24
This week, Bweinh.com looks at the next chapter of Luke, Luke 24.
PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS:
Genesis: 1-4 | 5-9 | 10-14 | 15-18 | 19-22 | 23-26
27-29 | 30-32 | 33-36 | 37-39 | 40-43 | 44-46 | 47-50
Exodus: 1-4 | 5-8 | 9-11 | 12-14 | 15-18
19-22 | 23-26 | 27-30 | 31-34 | 35-40
Romans: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (I)
Ch. 8 (II) | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15-16
Luke: 1:1-38 | 1:39-2:40 | 2:41-3:38 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14-15 | 16-17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23
INTRODUCTION:
Connie:
The night is over — the Promise has dawned. It is merely waiting to be experienced, saints.
David:
This chapter is the only explanation the priests and Pharisees got concerning the bold change in Peter and the other apostles, seen in Luke\’s next treatise (Acts). Seeing Jesus risen from the dead, and having the Scriptures opened to them, changed everything — including the world. Soon they would be known as the men “who have turned the world upside down.”
SOMETHING YOU’D NEVER NOTICED BEFORE:
Connie:
It took the entire day for the disciples to believe/understand/experience the Resurrection. It was dinner time for most of them. We emphasize Easter as the dawn, which it was for the women, maybe — but not for the majority of His followers.
Chloe:
The disciples were more inclined to believe they saw a ghost than to believe Jesus had told the truth about rising on the third day.
Steve:
Jesus urged the disciples to “handle Him” to assuage their doubts!
BEST BAND NAME FROM THE PASSAGE:
Josh: Flesh and Bones
Connie: What Things?
Steve: Suffer and Rise
David: Threescore Furlongs
The Whole Story
Swearing, interrupting, speeding, gossiping . . . we all have bad habits, some more noticeable or annoying than others. I\’ve discovered a new one in myself, one that surprised me because of its irregularity and motivation. I tell people the end of movies, plays, and books, especially ones with surprise endings, like “The Sixth Sense” and Life of Pi. The reason is that I want them to appreciate the story as a whole, to grasp the metaphors and themes as they relate to our lives, because that\’s what makes a story meaningful.
I think my bad habit stems from something deeper, though. Forgive me if you\’re one of these people, but I have trouble with Christians who are intensely focused on prophecy. I know a few Christians whose belief system revolves around Revelation and Daniel, in conjunction with the works of Hal Lindsay and Tim LaHaye. These people believe we are in the end times right now, and therefore study and interpret prophecy in an attempt to divine where we are in the book of Revelation.
Revelation is the end of the story. But God seems to have always been about the journey, the lessons along the way. God\’s promises are fulfilled in time, from Abraham\’s descendants becoming a great nation, to the Israelites fighting for generations to fully claim Canaan, to David\’s struggle to get and keep his throne, to Jesus coming not as a great king, but as a baby who had to grow up. What\’s more, time is where His people learn the lessons that make them capable of fully grasping God\’s promise.
We know the ending of the story: Revelation. We also know the journey: the Great Commission. Therefore, while those who are focused on prophecy annoy me, they do recognize an important part of the story that I\’m missing. Likewise, they may miss out on the journey in their anticipation for the ending. One part without the other is an incomplete narrative, not what God intended.
Take up my bad habit. Look at the story as a whole, from the beginning to the end, and look for those overarching themes and metaphors, meant to infuse our journey with meaning and prepare us for the ending.
One Hundred Words (14)
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” –2 Cor 6:14
This verse has often been used to discourage close association with unbelievers, and most classically to discourage “missionary dating.” But its core idea can be extended as a warning to know and beware the ideas of those close to you.
What if Barack Obama had taken Jeremiah Wright’s vitriol a little more seriously? What if Beirut had not chosen to overlook Hezbollah’s history and message of violence while letting it build Lebanon’s infrastructure?
Close relationships are incredibly valuable, but when you link yourself to someone’s good, you’re attached to the bad as well.
–TM
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What's New
- Battle of the Bands LXXXIV
- Bible Discussion — Ephesians 5-6
- 28
- Quote of the Day, 2/25/09
- One Hundred Words (48)
- Quote of the Day, 2/23/09
- Battle of the Bands LXXXIII
- Bible Discussion — Ephesians 3-4
- That’s Some Great Police Work
- One Hundred Words (47)
- Quote of the Day, 2/20/09
- Fortune and Judgment
- One Hundred Words (46)
- Quote of the Day, 2/18/09
- Three Links (Vol. 19)
- The Council’s Ruling — Worst Year
- One Hundred Words (45)
- Quote of the Day, 2/16/09
- Bad Marketing
- Quote of the Day, 2/13/09
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